Chapter Twenty-One

A.N. Hi this is the last chapter :( There will be a v soft, v cute epilogue out in the next week or so, but I'm gonna miss these stupid fucks a lot. Thanks for reading, appreciate you <3

Emma used to go to the beach on her days off, even tried to keep up the tradition when he left, but after the fifth week without him ticked by, she stopped leaving her bed when she wasn't forced to.

It was like, the longer she went without him, the more of her died off, corroded, atrophied. She felt physically ill.

She'd heard that time healed, that things got easier the more you were removed from them, the further they were along the horizon. She wished that were true, sometimes... Other times she was content to live with the pain, sink into it, it was a reminder of him, deep in her chest. Without the hurt, what proof did she have that he had ever been here at all?

She wrapped his jacket tighter around her, drowning in the thing.

She just wanted to sleep, live in a black nothingness for a while, but she never got dreamless slumbers anymore. If she fell asleep now, she knew, she would transport herself to an equally horrific hell.

His jacket didn't smell like him anymore.

The perpetual bruise on her neck that he'd constantly inflicted with his incisors had faded and healed.

The flowers on her kitchen counter, the ones he'd gotten her for the date they'd never gone on, were dead and dry. Crumpled, discolored petals littering her floor. She refused to throw them away.

All she had now was her memory, and oh what a feeble thing that was.

She dreaded the day when she would not remember at all, forget his face and his voice, forget the way his arms felt wrapped around her, how safe that wide space between his neck and his shoulder felt when she pressed her face into it.

She wished she could extract those memories, those pieces of him from her mind, hold them in her hand, put them in a box, lock them away, where they would be safe, where they could not be washed away by age or time, not by death or disease, a little piece of him protected forever.

She swallowed hard, her lungs quivering as she exhaled, the delicate cage of her ribs feeling a bit too tight.

The knock on the door was unexpected, it made her jump under the cover of her duvet.

She thought about ignoring it, hiding there under the blankets until whoever it was went away.

But they knocked again.

"Be right there." She called out, head going a little fuzzy as she stood up. She couldn't remember when she last ate. Yesterday afternoon?

She tugged on a pair of discarded jeans from her bedroom floor, burying her hands deep into the jacket's pockets as she shuffled her way to the door.

When she clicked the lock, and tugged open the door, she had to blink hard, steadying herself with the frame so she wouldn't fall. She was sure she was dreaming, but her dreams never allowed him to be this close to her.

"Chiquita." He exhaled the word, like a breath of relief, his shoulders visibly relaxing. His eyes snapped down her body, his heart clenching painfully in his chest as he took in the vision of his jacket draped over her little shoulders, the size of it further dwarfing her small form.

"I--" He started, then felt the air in his lungs choke out in a huff as she rammed into him, tiny hands ripping at his shirt, hot face buried in his chest as she tried to climb the length of him, toes fighting for purchase on his boots.

She felt him wrap his arms around her and she wailed against him, such profound relief flooding through her body-- that moments ago, had only felt like a vessel, empty carcass, dying organs, now alive, warm, safe, alive.

He buried his face in her hair, frantically inhaling, the sweet smell of her wrapping around him like a safety net. Oh God, he'd missed her so much, hadn't fully comprehended the totality of it until she was here, back in his arms.

But then, suddenly, she was thrashing against him, ripping herself out of his arms and punching, angry, little fists thrumming at his chest.

"You left me, you left me, you--" She was crying, screaming the words over and over again and he choked, blurry eyes staring down at her face, all crumpled and red, wet with tears, that agitated space between her eyebrows making his hand twitch at his side.

"Hey, hey." He whispered, gently gathering her wrists in his hands as he watched her punches slow in speed and fervor. "I know, I know, baby. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She turned her face up to him then, the intensity of it making his knees wobble, those fucking eyes, dark blue, big, and wet, lashes all clumped together.

His voice was so much, her memory of it did that rumbling baritone little justice. It vibrated through the cage of her ribs, rattling her organs back to life. But everything was too much, she felt dizzy and weak on her feet, part of her still convinced this wasn't real, couldn't be real. She dropped her head to escape the intense contact of his eyes, deep brown, glossy, staring into hers with a kind of desperate hope that she didn't quite understand.

He'd left her. He left.

"Hey, chiquita, look at me, please." He urged, hands trembling at his sides, arthritic in the need to touch her.

She shook her head in a little wobble, her fingers toying with the zipper on his jacket.

He felt like someone had reached into his chest and was painfully squeezing at his heart, digging their nails in and puncturing its walls.

He did this to her.

"Come on, baby." He whispered, taking a small step forward, and with trembling hands, reaching down to cup her face, lifting it up to him.

She let out a small whimper at the touch, the feeling of his big, warm palms on her skin, calloused fingers gently, so gently, wiping away the wet under her eyes.

"I didn't want to leave." He said, voice teetering with an agony she could feel, sharp and heavy in her chest. "Believe me, the last thing I ever wanted to do was leave."

"But you--" She started in protest, eyebrows crumpled together, puffy lips creeping into a frown.

"I thought I was keeping you safe," he interjected, "that is the only thing in the entire world that could make me leave you." His voice was stern, commanding of attention, eyes boring so intensely into hers that she felt a tremble work its way up her spine.

"I'm only safe with you." She whispered, a little squeak of an admission, tiny hands coming up to clutch at the front of his shirt, though it felt like they were reaching into his chest and restarting his heart.

His eyes snapped down to her lips, causing a little whine to echo out of her throat.

"Chiquita." He hummed, forcing his gaze back to her eyes.

"Please." She whimpered, tugging at his shirt.

He was on her then, big hand reaching down to clutch a palmful of her ass, using the leverage to pull her up the length of his body while she tilted her head back, the hot cavern of her mouth opening for him in a wanton moan that had him licking into her, then slanting his lips over her puffy upper lip.

"Missed you so fucking much." He groaned, carrying her inside, kicking the door shut behind him. "Never stopped thinking about you, couldn't stop."

"Miss-- missed you more." She whimpered, clawing at his back, then running her fingers into his hair, clutching it in her fists, soft curls caressing the delicate webbing of her fingers.

"Not possible." A growl, hands sliding under the jacket to clutch her waist, trying to tug her even closer to him while she was already splayed flat against his chest, legs wrapped around his hips.

He moved his lips to her neck, eager to reinstate that mark, the physical reminder to her, and him, and everyone that she was his. The smell of her there was overwhelming, though, and before he could nip at that soft skin, he let out a quivering moan into the space just below her ear, causing a flood of buzzing warmth to occupy the space between her legs.

"Javi." She whined, trying to grind against his torso, desperate for relief, her cunt ached like an open wound after so much time away from him.

"I know, honey." He crooned, then nipped sharply at that tendon that connected her neck to her shoulder, the dull pain sending shock waves through her core as a little yelp exited her lips. "Been away too long, my pretty little cunt is feeling neglected, isn't she?"

"Don't be me-mean." She warbled, eyes fluttering as he sucked her skin between his teeth, then lapped at the hurt with the wide, hot expanse of his tongue.

"We should talk, baby." He uttered, nosing at her jaw, licking a stripe up the thin column of her neck.

"T-alk later." She insisted, tightening her legs around his hips. "Need you now, please, please."

Oh god she'd missed him, missed this, thought she would die without it.

He didn't need any further convincing, just started carrying her down the hall to her bedroom, gently placing her on the mattress like she was something fragile, too fragile, even, for something as soft as a bed.

He discarded his boots then, his shirt, while Emma trembled on the bed, eyes frantically taking in each inch of his golden skin, scanning the scars littering his chest, the large one that etched itself up his side. When she didn't find any new ones, she let out a little sigh of relief, letting her gaze drift back up to his face, where he was staring down at her with a desperate hunger glittering behind his eyes.

"Don't know how I made it so long." He was uttering while slowly crawling over her, positioning his lift thigh between her legs, scooting it up to put pressure on her aching cunt, causing her to let out a soft, little moan. "Missed you so goddamn much, couldn't think about anything else."

She whimpered as he parted his lips back over hers, his hand fixing to her delicate mandible, prying it open to lick at her palate, the back of her molars, desperate and greedy and possessive.

He moaned into her mouth, the taste of strawberry so sweet on her tongue, fuck he'd missed her, how had he survived, how had he thought for even a moment that he could live without her?

"Te necesito." He rumbled, his hands sliding under the jacket, slowly beginning to peel it off her shoulders. Before he managed to get it off, though, he felt her tense, then whine, sharp against his lips as she began pushing herself away from him with a scrambled effort of her feet, little heels digging into the mattress, her eyes wide and almost frightened when he leaned back to observe her. She pulled the jacket back over her shoulders, tugging it tighter around her.

There was a lingering thread of doubt haunting her, thick and blinking in the back of her mind. He might leave again, he very likely could, and if he did, she did not want him to take the one thing she had of his, the one reminder that she had clung to for the past five weeks.

"Emma." Javier whispered, his chest suddenly feeling too tight. "What is it, baby? Do you want me to stop, I--" His words tumbled to a halt as he saw the doubt in her pretty eyes, the way she was clinging to his jacket like he would rip it off of her, steal it back and leave her with nothing.

He was despicable, a vile, repugnant creature for doing this to her.

"Oh sweetheart." He shook his head solemnly, trying to slowly scoot closer to her. "I'm not going anywhere," He paused, searching her worried features, "unless you want me to leave."

She shook her head manically, propelling herself forward to grab onto his forearm, little fingers digging into his skin.

"Come here." He whispered, settling on the bed, and pulling her little form into his lap. "I'm so sorry, I-- I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving, but I should've given you a choice, I shouldn't have left like that, without saying goodbye. That wasn't fair. I-- I was being selfish because I knew I couldn't say goodbye to you."

Emma tucked her head under his chin, pressing her face into the soft, warm skin of his chest, breath quivering as the woody scent of him-- the one she'd so desperately tried to find on each inch of his jacket-- flooded her senses, eased the tension in her shoulders.

He ran his hand slowly up and down her spine, then over the back of her head, hair soft as silk against his rough palm. He didn't know what he could say to prove to her that he wouldn't leave again, couldn't leave again. He would just have to prove it to her, over weeks and months, years, as long as it took until she believed him.

There was one thing he could say, though. The words already clawing at his chest, trying to climb up and out of his throat.

"Give me those pretty eyes, bonita." He whispered, reaching down to tilt her chin up with a hooked first finger. When she looked up at him, much of the fear had dissolved from her eyes, but there was still a little seed of doubt flickering behind her irises.

I'm so sorry, my pretty girl, should've never left you alone, will never leave you again.

"Emma." He hummed her name like it was a line in a poem, warm brown eyes glossy, brimming with some emotion she couldn't exactly place, but that made her insides cramp up and ache. He ran his thumb across the line of her jaw, then tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

"Emma, I love you."

His voice did not waver, it was stern and unequivocal, dark eyes locked on hers, further drilling his words into her skull.

A choked sound exited her lips and her head collapsed onto the wide berth of his shoulder.

"I love you." He repeated, holding her tight against him, "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner, I-- saying it and then leaving didn't feel right."

She trembled against him, hot tears burning her eyes.

He loves me? Javier loves me?

"Are you hearing me, chiquita?" He picked her head off his shoulder, holding her jaw in his large hand, smushing her cheeks together, her lips forced into a pucker. "I love you; do you understand?"

She whimpered; the sound all distorted by the way he had her mouth squished. How could she understand something as life-altering, as world collapsing as that, as Javier loving her. But, she thought, maybe she'd already known that, and that's why it had never made sense when he left, because how could he leave her when he loved her the way he did?

"I need to hear you say it." Javier urged, gently removing his hand from her jaw to reach back and cradle the small bowl of her head in his palm. "Please chiquita."

"I love you, Javi." She said, soft little voice reaching into him and commencing a surge of affection so heavy and profound that it buzzed in his toes, the tips of his fingers, felt it close and mend that gaping cavity in his chest that had been plaguing him since walking out of that room five weeks ago.

He tugged her toward him by the hold he had on the back of her head, latching his lips to hers, the whole thing messy and desperate.

"Again." He muttered into the cavern of her mouth, an urgent demand.

"I love you." She whimpered against his lips, "I love you, I love you."

And it felt like coming home, felt like her feet were back on solid ground, his arms a comforting weight around her, anchoring her to him.

"Mi amor." He hummed, slowly, carefully beginning to remove the jacket, pulling away from her lips so he could stare down at her as he did, his gaze saying so much.

I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, I love you, I'm sorry.

When it was off, he placed it carefully behind him on the bed, aware of the value it held to her now.

He turned back to her, discarded the rest of her clothes in a far more hurried fashion, ripping the fabric from her skin, carnally, impatiently.

"Do you remember when I told you about Lake Travis?" Javier asked between hard kisses to her upper lip.

"Mmhm." She nodded, fingers carded into his hair, tugging it lightly, causing a moan to rumble from his chest before he could continue speaking.

"I miss that place so much." 

kiss 

"Miss everything from before Columbia but you--" 

kiss 

"Your eyes remind me of that water." His voice was so soft, like butter, his warm palm caressing her cheek as he pulled back to take in those eyes, tilting his head to the side a bit, little smile tugging at his plush lips, etching that dimple into his right cheek. "I swear they're the same exact color. I-- I'm shit at romanticisms, you'll have to forgive me, chiquita, but your eyes felt like home from the first time I saw them."

"Javi--" She choked, eyes pooling with tears, heart on a string, cradled in his large palm.

"I never should have left you." It was a confession, brimming with pain, hot and thick.

"You're the only home I've ever had, since-- since I was sixteen." She whispered, her own confession, the sound of it making his heart break and burst simultaneously.

He crashed his lips back into hers at that, tongue possessively pushing into her mouth. "Never letting you go, never, never."

She would die if he did, she was certain, but she could feel in the desperate way he was kissing her, how urgent his declarations were, that he meant it, he loved her, Javier Peña loved her.

"Baby, my baby." He hummed, his right hand taking the weight of one of her breasts in his large palm, squeezing it roughly as he latched his mouth to the other nipple.

"Ja-vi." She mewled, nails clawing at his back.

"I know, honey, I know." Almost mocking, tongue lapping at her nipple, then tugging it between his teeth, rocketing a scream out deep from her chest.

She needed this so much, so much, missed him so intensely, that now that he was back, the burning, aching desire that had been tormenting her for what felt like ages, reached a breaking point, she didn't know if she would ever get enough.

"Fuck, I missed you." He groaned, squishing her tits together, lapping at one nipple, then dragging his face across the soft, so fucking soft, pillowy skin to the other one, sliding his tongue between the two on his way there. "My perfect girl." A vibrating hum against her skin.

"Javi, I need, need--" A choked plea, not even sure what she was begging for, besides him, just him, constantly him.

"I'm here, chiquita, right here, baby." He hummed in assurance, rising up a bit to place a kiss on her forehead, her cheek, her temple, mustache tickling her skin, plush lips making her stomach somersault.

"You can't leave again, promise me you— you'll never leave me." Choked plea, her fingers digging into the taut skin of his biceps.

"I promise." His pupils were blown out, black greedily consuming his irises. Big, calloused hands roaming up and down her waist, needy in their motion, like no amount of touching her would be enough, would satiate. "I promise, baby, I promise."

He began kissing down her neck then, intoxicated by the smell of her, her soft, soft skin, god how had he lived without this, ever, ever?

"Never leaving you, never again, I can't." He whispered between kisses to her sternum, the underside of her breast, the soft, little swell of her tummy.

His lips were causing goosebumps to raise on her arms, all the way up her torso, her nipples achingly hard at the sensation.

He made a home for himself between her legs, where he should've been all along, should've never left, god I'm a fucking idiot, pushing her thighs apart, leaning down to nip at the supple skin, her body jolting underneath him, trying to push her pelvis up toward his face, a desperate little wiggle of her butt that made him chuckle.

"God, I missed this pretty, little cunt, baby." He rumbled, eyes locked on the glistening space between her legs, obscenely painting the inside of her thighs, all dark pink and swollen, begging to be in his mouth. "Thought about tasting her every day." His voice was a low rumble, scraping the ground with its bass, making her chest vibrate, her heart thrumming so fast she thought it might burst out from under her skin.

"Javi please." She spat out; neck craned so she could stare down at him.

"I know, sweetheart, I won't make you wait anymore." He hummed, then leaned down, big shoulders pushing into her thighs as he slowly dragged his tongue, wide and flat, from her entrance to her puffy clit, moaning against her at the restored taste, her arousal coating his tongue, sticky and sweet.

The desire in her belly lit aflame at the first touch of his tongue, everything else fell away and it was just him, reaching so deep inside of her it felt like he was cradling her heart in his palm, like he was ripping the fibers of her desire open so that they encompassed her entirely.

"Fuck, fe--feels so good, Javi." She crooned, head tilting back as he continued his motion, gentle and soft, little laps against her sensitive clit, those bundled nerves sparking with deep, aching pleasure at each pass of his tongue.

His eyes fluttered closed, relishing in the taste of her, the little sounds she made as her fingers tangled themselves in his hair. "Taste so fucking good, chiquita." A groan, vibrating against her cunt, making her muscles twitch. "Was dreaming about this pussy."

She whined, a little high pitch sound that made his cock twitch, it snapped the thin thread of restraint holding him back, and suddenly he was grabbing her thighs, tugging her closer to him as he buried his face into her cunt and began devouring her, tongue delving into her fluttering hole, then dragging up, sucking her aching clit into his mouth as he did something absolutely wicked with his tongue.

She screamed then, everything getting hot and tight, her orgasm rising to the surface of her pelvis, making her legs nearly go numb with the force as it wrapped around her knees, curling her toes into the bottoms of her feet as she rocketed forward.

"Javi, Javi, Javi." She gasped his name through the tears that had sprung up in her eyes, fingers a vise grip in his hair as she rode out the brunt of it, so intense her core ached from the pressure.

"That's my girl, my good good girl." He praised, face still buried in her cunt, where he inhaled deeply, pressing his prominent nose into her wet folds, the smell of her arousal making his cock leak in his boxers. "Came so fast for me, baby, did you cum at all while I was gone?"

Emma had collapsed after her orgasm, eyes fluttered closed, chest heaving. She shook her head at his inquiry, whining a little bit as he passed his tongue back over her sensitive clit.

"No?" He lifted his head a bit more, "Didn't touch your pretty little pussy at all?"

"No Javi." She insisted, shaking her head, eyes cracking open a bit to observe the possessive look on his face.

"Aw baby." He crooned, "Just needed Papi to come back and take care of you, huh?"

She nodded urgently, now reaching down, and trying to tug him up toward her. So desperate for him to fill her up, needy for his cock and his lips and his arms, so big and safe and fuck she missed him so much she thought she would die.

He appeased her by crawling over her, shoving his knees into her thighs so they lifted a bit, her ankles wrapping around his waist.

"Want--" She spat out when he was hovering over her, fingers digging into his arms.

"What do you want, chiquita, use your words, baby."

She mewled, trying to reach down and unfasten the button of his jeans while her hands trembled.

"No." He shook his head, gathering her wrists in his hands, "Big girl words, sweetheart, tell Daddy what you want?"

She whimpered before she spoke, her cunt clenching around nothing, "Want your cock, need it, Daddy please."

His stomach flopped, his cock tenting his jeans so intensely he thought they might burst at the seams as he stared down at her, irises engulfed by her pupils, puffy, pink lips parted, tears collecting at the corners of her eyes, beginning to trail down to the hair behind her temples.

"How badly, baby, how badly do you want it? Use your big girl words."

"S-so badly, I-- more than anything. I'll die without it, I--"

Her rambled profession came to a shuddering halt, her heart pounding as he raised himself onto his knees, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, dragging them down along with his boxers to free his thick, golden cock, dripping with precum, the sight immediately making her mouth water, a garbled whine echoing out of her mouth.

"Shh, I'm going to give it to you, honey." He hummed, taking his length in his hand and pumping it once, then leaning down and beginning to rub his cockhead, all purple and swollen with need, through her drenched folds, the action making both of them gasp out a married moan. "Are you ready for me, chiquita?"

Her head knocked up and down in a desperate nod then he was directing his cock into her, her walls squeezing just the tip of him so tightly he choked, eyes rolling into the back of his head as she whimpered, her fingernails clawing at his back.

"More more more." She sang out, needy and frantic.

"Hush." He demanded, eyes shut, balls already tight and achy, like he was going to cum from just that inch of her warm, wet embrace. "Need you to stay still and be quiet for a minute or this isn't going to last very long."

"Javi." Desperate little mewl of his name that had his hand wrapping around her neck to keep her quiet.

Her eyes went wide, but her cunt gushed at the feeling of his big hand, squeezing the sides of her neck, cutting off her ability to speak.

He felt it, her pussy weep around his cock, and it was the last straw. He released her neck and pounded into her in the next instant, hips rutting into the inside of her thighs as his cock hit the very end of her, kissed that spot that was just his.

"Fuck--" Teeth bared, jaw taut, "missed this tight, little pussy so much." He grunted, drilling into her while she let out a choked scream that broke into a whimpering moan.

She was so full, so full and it felt so fucking good after being so empty for so long. His cock was hitting her cervix so deliciously she already felt her walls fluttering, another orgasm cresting, so close to the surface.

"My girl, mine." He growled, leaning down to nip at that spot on her neck, a heavy, unyielding wave of possessiveness so thick in his core that he felt he needed to scream it. She's mine, she's mine, mine, mine, mine.

"Yours." She confirmed in a gasped affirmation, "Only yours Javi."

"Needed me to remind you, baby?" He grunted, picking up his pace, feeling her beginning to flutter around him.

She shook her head adamantly, "Didn't for-forget."

"Good girl." He gasped, his heart fucking exploding at her words. "That's my good fucking girl."

A strangled moan left her lips, her hands slipping from his arms as everything went all liquidy, his words and the hard drilling of his cock pushing her so close to the edge, she felt like she was already dangling off.

"Cum on my cock, sweet girl. Need it, baby." He encouraged as he felt her walls squeeze him tighter, so he had to work to stay in.

He moved his thumb to her clit, circling it firm and fast and that was it, she was falling, clenching around him and then fluttering, her cunt getting so wet she could hear the lewd squelch of it over her moans.

"Th-at's it." Javier praised, fucking her through it, "Such a good listener, mi amor."

He pulled out of her while she was still fluttering, causing her to whine and beg, the emptiness in her cunt too much to deal with after being away from him for so long.

"No no no, Javi please, I need--" Her breath was knocked out of her as he flipped her onto her stomach, then tugged her hips up, her legs scrambling to follow as she propped herself up on her forearms, presenting herself to him.

He took a moment to admire her, all spread open, gorgeous ass in the air, cunt all weepy and gaping from the abuse of his cock. He could only simply admire for a minute though, then he was pounding into her from behind, tight grip on her hips, hair all damp from exertion, beginning to curl near his ears, on his forehead.

The change in angle was so much, he was so big, and she could feel him everywhere.

"Never ever leaving you again, chiquita." He growled, hammering into her. He was so close, his balls so tight and sore it was a wonder he hadn't come already. "Going to fuck a baby into you, keep you both safe forever, never fucking leaving you again."

She moaned sharply at that, her cunt beginning to clench again.

"You like that, don't you sweet girl? Want me to fuck you so full of my cum? Fuck you so well that you get all round and pretty carrying my baby?"

"Yes." She gasped, "Yes Javi, please."

"Cock hungry, little girl." He grunted, so close to the edge now his vision was blurry. He twisted his hand into her hair, fisting some of it and tugging it, pulling her tight like a bowstring. "Perfect girl, my perfect girl, mine, mine, mine."

Then he was cumming, and she was right behind him, milking his cock as he hammered his cum into the very end of her, his body folding over her, teeth digging into her shoulder blade.

"That's it, baby, take it all, good girl." He huffed against her back, thrusts slow and sloppy as her body quivered underneath the solid weight of him.

"Javi." She mewled underneath him, and then he was rolling over, taking her with him, tugging her close against his warm, damp chest.

She curled into him, feeling his cum leaking out of her cunt as she buried her face deep in his chest, inhaling deeply, his presence a thick wave of placidity, serenity washing through her.

It was quiet for a moment, both of them reestablishing touch, drowning in the sanctuary of it all.

When she spoke, it was barely a whisper.

"Where'd you go?"

The sound of her inquiry hurt, felt like a stab in the chest.

He gently lifted her head from his chest, dragging his calloused thumb across the soft, flushed skin of her cheek. His eyes were soft, and warm, but she could sense a sea of guilt behind them.

"Down to Mexico." He said, cradling her precious face in his hands. "DEA is leading an investigation into the cartels down there." He felt her tense at the mention of them and he gently caressed the back of her head. "I didn't even leave the office, baby." He assured her, leaning forward to place a kiss on the tip of her perfect nose, "And it's over now. I've officially resigned, left my badge at the Embassy."

He felt her ease a bit in his arms, her fingers tracing little patterns into the skin of his chest.

"So... what are you going to do now?" A curious inquiry, dark blue eyes glistening as they peered up at him from under her lashes.

A smile cracked through his lips, the dimple on his right cheek emerging as he gazed down at her, gently running his knuckles up and down the side of her face.

"Going to take care of my girl." He hummed. "Beg for her forgiveness." He leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her forehead. "Maybe move out to a ranch, if she wants to, get some land, some horses, a dog." He was quiet for a moment while she imagined that, imagined him taking her away from here, away from the place that held everything-- her parents and the loss of them, her blurred childhood, her lonely years in college. It didn't hold them, though, Javier and her, they could leave, they could do whatever they wanted, it would always be them, no matter where they went.

Javier broke the silence with a low hum, then, "Going to fuck a couple babies into her."

"A couple?" She inquired, a false sense of shock lacing her voice, juxtaposed by the loveliest smile he'd ever seen in his life.

"Mmhm." He nodded, "A couple, or three, or four... ten, maybe."

"Okay, I actually draw the line at three." Emma cut in, placing her hand flat against his chest.

He chuckled softly; his heart felt so full he thought it might burst. "Whatever you want, chiquita. I'll give it to you. I promise."

And she looked up at him, her face so soft and sweet, his whole life painted there in those dark, blue eyes.

"I just want you." She whispered, reaching up to toy with the curls framing his ears.

"Lucky me." He hummed, leaning forward to catch her lips in a soft embrace.

He tugged her close, locking her to his chest, burying his face in the soft tendrils of her hair, and for the first time in over a decade he felt light, he felt good. Because if he could protect the delicate creature in his arms, if she, in all her perfect, pure grace, had chosen him, trusted him to protect her, take care of her, then how could he be as abhorrent as he'd believed?

His chiquita.

His querencia.