Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Sunday 8

It was the early hours of Sunday morning when Louis reached the front door; he guessed it was around 2 in the morning, but he couldn't be sure. There was still a little alcohol tainting his brain, but after the phone call from Anne he had most definitely sobered up. He pushed the no-named boy away from him after he'd processed all of his thoughts into correct categories, sorting out everything the conversation consisted of so he could decide how to act on it.What he decided to do, was firstly, get the hell out of the club. That once euphoric atmosphere had disintegrated into a suffocating, cramped aura which pressured down on Louis' mind and soul, and he couldn't take the thumping bass rupturing his thoughts any longer. He sped off through the crowds, forgetting about his companions who were grinding in the crowd somewhere or sticking their tongues down some girl's throat.The fresh air hit him like the phone call did: a full force which shot right through to his veins in a bid to evaporate any intoxication flowing freely. It smacked down on his skin, filtering through it to capture that buzzing, joyful feeling from the alcohol and trap it within a capsule of worry and guilt.He wandered past the pulsing club, past the lines of kebab shops, past the off licence and over to the little patch of grass by the artificial hills. They tried to make it look more scenic, add a rural touch to the grotty area, but it didn't really work.He sat himself down and wrapped his arms around his body, rubbing at his exposed arms to keep in the warmth which radiated off of his skin rapidly. Forgetting that it was potentially dangerous to do so because it was the middle of the night and pitch black other than the street light, Louis let his eyes flutter shut and he rested his forehead on his knees.He just wanted someone to decide everything for him. He just wanted someone to slap some sense into him before he entered the club. He just wanted to pray to whichever god out there that he wouldn't have caused more harm than good. He thought it was fine. He thought it was alright when he said it, regardless of his heavy heart at the time; the alcohol made him think it was fine. But it wasn't, obviously, and now he regretted it more than anything.Visions of a broken Harry cut through his heart with a sharp sting. They sliced it open and let all the love he held in his heart float away, because if he broke Harry, he didn't deserve to love anyone. He'd have broken an innocent being, a fragile object.And then Louis got angry at himself. Before, he was just annoyed at himself, guilty. Now, however, he was raging inside. He wanted to kick himself, punch himself, scratch out those words that left his mouth so he could never say anything of the similar again. He let out a loud groan of frustration, his fingers clinging at the roots of his hair in pure fury. Why did he do it? What right did he have to say that?Because he was scared. That was the reason. Because he was fucking scared.He was a coward.The confession to himself didn't seem to relieve of the tight hold guilt had on his heart, but it soothed his mind with a light brush of its caring admittance. He knew where he'd gone wrong. It wasn't like he was oblivious; he wasn't stupid. And the confession made him feel at least a little better because he wasn't denying the fact he'd done anything wrong and he was being truthful to himself, not like he had been before when he spoke those heinous words.Once Louis had basked in the cool air for long enough to decipher his thoughts to an appropriate standard to decide on what to do next, he rose from his spot. Creaking his bones as he stretched to try and rid him of the final alcoholic influence on his body, Louis stumbled over to the road and hailed an oncoming cab. Telling the taxi driver his destination, Louis slouched in the back seat and leant his forehead against the cool glass. The bumping of his head off the window each time the car went over a pot hole didn't do the lingering dull ache of a headache any good, but he couldn't be bothered to move. He watched the flashing lights whizz by him, blinding him momentarily before zooming by.Finally, the car pulled up to the familiar house. Louis suddenly felt reluctant to leave the safety of the vehicle, wanting to curl up on the uncomfortable seating and tie himself to the handle so he couldn't move away. He knew he was doing it again; he knew he was being cowardice, but it was scary. He couldn't have just sent a text, he knew that. That would be too dismissive and not personal enough and he felt like he had to apologise for everything he'd said, even though Harry was totally oblivious.Hesitantly, after paying the driver, Louis clambered out of the car and let his feet lead him to the front door.Should he ring the doorbell or knock? He didn't know whether Anne had maybe gotten Harry to sleep - God, Louis hated saying that, it made Harry sound like a child - or not. The doorbell might wake him up again and Louis couldn't be responsible for even more anguish. He chose the latter, deciding it was the safest option in case Harry had fallen asleep. He could see a dim light through the curtains but that didn't infer that somebody was still awake. He hoped they were already awake; he didn't want to wake anyone up and cause more bother for the family.Cautiously, he knocked three times on the door and stood awkwardly on the ground, eyes focussed on his mucky Toms. He heard bustle behind the door a minute or so later, and as he looked up he saw the light in the hallway flicker on and shine through the frosted glass.As the door creaked open warily, Louis felt a shiver of nervousness cling to his skin with the sense of the unexpected. He didn't know what would happen beyond that threshold - if he was even let in - because really, Anne could tell him that he'd royally fucked up and she didn't want him anywhere near her son, and she had every right to do that.Anne's figure crept into view as the door opened a little at a time. Her face looked worn, tired and drained. Her body was wrapped in a dressing gown; she had slippers on her feet and she looked like she was ready for bed, but her eyes said otherwise."Louis," she breathed out. In relief? Louis wasn't sure."Hi Anne," Louis said awkwardly."What are you doing here?" she said through a yawn covered by her hand."I- just...I couldn't just text him, I had to see him," Louis confessed after a stammer.Anne looked slightly shocked at Louis' sincerity and thought. She took a few seconds to question his words in her mind before letting him in the household when she knew he wasn't just saying it for the sake of things; he meant it.Louis shut the door as he entered the warmth and turned to Anne who had sat down on the stairs. Louis stood awkwardly by the door, not wanting to make an even bigger fool of himself by doing something prohibited."C'mere, Louis," Anne said tiredly. She gestured for him to come over and patted the space beside her. Louis shuffled over and squeezed in beside her, his eyes looking over to her in expectance and his hands wringing unsettled in his lap."Is he asleep?" Louis asked quietly.With a sorrowful shake of her head, Anne answered, "No, he refuses to. But to be honest, I don't think he could even if he wanted to."Louis sat silent letting the words linger in the air. His guilt was still heavy in the pit of his stomach and wrapped around his heart."I'm sorry," he whispered in an attempt to keep the same quiet atmosphere around them. Regardless of the fact it was a little uncomfortable, at least he wasn't being shouted at from all angles. It was somewhat comforting actually. Anne's warmth was still there. She still had that whole force field of wholesome family goodness around her, that kindness bubble that Louis didn't think could ever be hindered, but for some reason he thought he might've put a dent in it and he'd have been in the line of that crack."It's not me you need to apologise to," she replied as softly. "Although I don't think that's what Harry wants to hear; he just needs to know you're okay. Anything other than that is an added bonus, I guess.""Can I maybe go see him? Only if you think that's alright though; I'll totally respect your decision if you don't wa-""Go, Louis, it's fine. He's in the living room, first door on your left," she smiled weakly but with warmth behind. "Just...just be careful with him, yeh?""Always."Louis' tentative footsteps were muted by the carpet as he made his way to the closed door. With an apprehensive knock, he opened the door and peeked his head around.Louis heart felt like it froze when he saw Harry.He was sitting on the arm chair, his body curled around itself, his arms wound around his knees with his fingers tapping restlessly on his thigh, and his face buried from nose down in his knees.The worst part, for Louis, was his eyes. They stared in front of him, directed at the fireplace which was lit with an orange glow. Louis could tell Harry wasn't in a trance by the dancing, flickering flames; his eyes were blank. They matched his old expression of nothing but vacancy. He looked tired: tired of everything. He hadn't looked up when the knock sounded or the door was opened because, Louis suspected, he thought it would be Anne; after all, who else would it be?And somehow, seeing Harry so withdrawn, it made everything so much harder. Any slight determination had been washed away by a wave of sympathy, pity and guilt.He stepped into the room, closing the door quietly behind him with a 'click'. Harry didn't budge; his eyes didn't flicker except for the slow blinking of his eyelids. Louis couldn't help but notice how murky a green the colour was; he was sure they were never that dull before.The older boy took a few steps into the room, his feet padding silently on the carpet."Harry," Louis' voice wasn't meant to be so quiet; it wasn't meant to crack when it came out a whisper, but somehow it sounded so broken without even trying.Harry's eyes finally whipped up from their stare. The dull green blankness started dissipating before Louis' eyes as Harry took in Louis' figure, looking him up and down with that heavy blink from the past.Suddenly, Harry's body leapt from the chair and bounded towards Louis, ending with a collapsing hold around Louis' body. Harry held onto Louis tightly, and at first he didn't know what to do. Opting to hug back and appreciate such an offertory of emotion, Louis wound his arms around Harry's back and clung onto him for dear life. He could feel the heavy breathing from Harry's mouth on his neck, it was so loud and laborious he could hear the relieved panting in the silent room clearly.Louis nuzzled his nose into Harry's shoulder and closed his eyes tight shut. His breathing wasn't any more steady than Harry's. It was like there was a weight on his chest which prevented any even breathing. He, instead of attempting to regain breathing composure, breathed in through his nose, taking in the scent of Harry, which he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to smell again."M'sorry," Louis muttered into Harry's shoulder. He wasn't even sure if his words were coherent enough to be understood, but he said them anyway in the heat of the moment when all he wanted to do was say sorry a hundred times over.Harry shook his head in Louis' neck to indicate that he'd heard Louis, and that he didn't agree with the comment. It was more a dismissive shake of the head, a one you'd do when things that weren't needing to be said were being said."M'so so sorry," Louis repeated into the material of Harry's shirt. Harry shook his head more determinedly this time, as if Louis' words were utter nonsense.Louis reluctantly pulled his face from Harry's shoulder, in turn making Harry's head move from nestling in Louis' warm skin. Harry's face was directly in front of his, but the boy still never met his eyes. Louis still stared deep into his though, regardless of the lack of eye contact. "No, Harry, you need to know how sorry I am for this, for everything."Those brightened orbs flickered up to Louis' blue eyes from the cotton rim of Louis' collar for a second before they returned to their rightful place. Louis wasn't sure what the look meant, but as Harry slowly pulled his arms from Louis' body and retreated over to the sofa opposite the fireplace, Louis understood that Harry was going to listen, whatever he thought about Louis' apology being put aside.Louis sunk down into the sofa alongside the younger boy who was scrunched up at the opposite end to Louis. He took time to notice Harry's attire as he settled into the cushions. His outfit was utterly adorable, Louis thought. It brought out all of Harry's innocence; it defined him in one whole outfit. He was donned in a classic pair of dark blue and green plaid pyjamas, the shirt and trousers brushed cotton and the shirt being long sleeved with only a small triangle of Harry's pale chest showing. He looked so endearingly cute that Louis thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest.Before Louis had the chance to speak, Harry had turned around and his bum was raised in the air as he bustled around on the floor with his hands. Louis couldn't help but look; I mean, it would be unnatural not to, right? Those peachy cheeks were right in Louis' face; could he really deny them a look at the squeezable roundness? Louis thought not, or at least he convinced himself not.Harry, sadly for Louis -but really, Louis liked his face too, so the lack of bum on show wasn't too painful-, returned back to his upright position with a pad of paper and pen in hand. After scribbling down on it, Harry showed the pad to Louis:

You don't need to apologise, Lou.Louis sighed; of course Harry was going to be like this. He didn't seem to think there was any bad in the way Louis had acted."Do you want me to write or talk?"

I don't mind, you can speak if you like. Harry wrote back.

"I just- you don't understand, Haz. I need to apologise. I need to tell you over and over again that I'm sorry, because I've been so horrible and awful and it's unforgivable but I need to at least try and get you to forgive me because I just can't lose you and I- I'm babbling, aren't I?" Louis' speech was rushed and hasty, but when he saw Harry sitting there with the smallest tug at his lips, he noticed this rapid babbling and pulled himself to a stop.

It's fine Louis, I was just worried about you when you didn't reply - that's all. It's not like you've killed someone or something"That's the point, you were worried. You shouldn't have even been worried because of me. I don't care if that's just how you are, I shouldn't have put you in that position anyway," Louis confessed lowly.

It's fine Louis, you're here now and that's all that matters. You're okay; you're fine.Louis let out a strangled noise. Harry didn't understand. No, Louis didn't plan on informing him of the awful words he said at the club, but he wanted to apologise indirectly. Maybe it was just to soothe the guilt threaded through his heart, maybe it was just to stop this heavy feeling on his chest, but he needed Harry to understand that he was sorry.When Louis looked up from his lap where he'd been wringing his fingers together, Harry had his notepad up again with another line of scrawl underneath. His expression was hesitant and his lip was caught in between his teeth like he was deciding whether to ask or not.

Do you mind me asking why you didn't reply?Louis gulped thickly. What was he supposed to say? That he was ignoring the boy? That he stopped replying because he didn't want to look odd in front of his friends? That he was being, basically, a right dick?"I- I got caught up with everything I guess and it just slipped my mind," the lie felt sticky on his tongue, bitter and sour and somewhat clingy in his mouth. When Harry nodded solemnly, like he understood, Louis felt the taste thicken on his lips and he suddenly felt the need to wash his mouth out. Lying was easy: Louis proved that in the club when he spouted those words about Harry. But lying to Harry was a whole different thing. The pure innocence on his face made it so much harder to lie to because really, this is Harry we're talking about.As Louis looked over at Harry, he saw the boy yawn tiredly, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand and blinking his eyes tightly."You tired?" Louis asked softly, reaching his hand out to pat Harry's knee. The other boy flinched slightly before seemingly deeming it okay to let the touch settle on his cotton clad skin. He nodded a little, like he didn't even have the energy to move his head properly."Go on up to bed, get some sleep," Louis said to the exhausted boy. Harry nodded once more, standing up from the sofa. He stretched out his arms and arched his back as he did so. Although Louis felt a little odd ogling the boy's lean figure when he was wearing such innocent bed wear, couldn't help but notice again how long Harry's torso was. It was a surprise that the shirt wasn't too short for him seeing as his pants seemed to be hung low, and Louis kind of wished it was too short and he'd see a slice of that pale skin.Harry started walking to the door but stopped before he left and turned to Louis, looking at him was a tentative expression.Louis actually thought his heart might've just burst after Harry did his next action.His right hand was curled in a fist and rubbing at his eye, and his other was outstretched in front of him, his fingers grasping at the air like he was trying to grab Louis.Louis thought he was going to cry or something totally over emotional. He didn't think he'd ever seen anything so cute in his life because, fuck, nothing could live up to how adorable the boy looked at that time. His plaid pyjamas and actions which were like something a toddler would do for their mother's attention to beckon them towards them, were the epitome of adorable."Y-you want me to come?" Louis asked stutteringly.Harry nodded almost brightly (yet obviously not because he was knackered to his wits end but the ambition in his nod was present) and once he removed his hand from his eye, he blinked over in Louis' direction widely."O-okay," Louis tried to register it in his mind. Yes, he was aware that nothing was going to happen, but bedrooms were private and personal and Louis thought that because he was being let into Harry's then, wow, the boy must feel truly comfortable with him. Louis felt a surge of somewhat pride but genuine happiness as he stood up from the sofa and staggered over to the boy.Harry led Louis through the hallway, squeezing past his Mum who was still sat on the stairs. When she saw Harry's calmed being and the lack of worry on Louis' face, she visibly brightened up with a wide smile, although it was tainted with tiredness.Louis stopped uneasily as he approached Anne. Her grin had turned somewhat curious as Harry stopped and waited for Louis half way up the stairs. "Erm Harry asked if I could go up to his...bedroom with him," Louis scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as he spoke. "Is that alright?"Louis heard Harry's overdramatic huff but ignored it nonetheless, focussing on Anne whose eyes widened a little in surprise."He did?""Yeh...I mean I get it if you don't want me to, but I'm not going to like do anything to hi- with him.""No it's totally fine, just a shock, y'know?" Anne said with a disbelieving smile."Yeh, yeh. I know..." Louis muttered.From the stairs, Louis heard a noise which sounded like a strangled whine. He looked up to Harry standing there, top teeth pulling in his bottom lip a little and a furrow in the middle of his eyebrows. There was no doubt that Harry made the high pitched whinge, and he was obviously wanting Louis to hurry up."I'm coming, I'm coming. God, demanding much," Louis chuckled under his breath. As he sidled past Anne, she quickly jumped up and whispered in his ear: "Once he's asleep, come to the kitchen and talk to me, yeh?"Louis nodded obediently and then followed the lagging Harry up the stairs and to his room. Harry's room was typical teenage boy's room, except for the lack of posters of half-naked women spreading over the walls and the lack of mess scattered over the floor - so really, it wasn't that typical. It was plain though, nothing extravagant. His single bed was tucked up in the corner by the window, and Harry traipsed over to it immediately. He flopped down on it, making Louis chuckle as he lay lifeless face down on the bed."C'mon, babe, let's get you in properly," Louis mothered. He walked over to the bed and rolled Harry over so he could flip some of the duvet up. Harry was acting like a dead weight as Louis tried to shuffle him under the covers. Finally, Louis got Harry settled in the bed. The covers were tucked up to his chin, the tips of his fingers poking over the top as he held the covers to keep the warmth in, and his eyes were closed ready for dreamland.Louis turned around to creep back out, but a hand slapped at his leg. He turned around to Harry whose green eyes were on show once again, looking up at him with a pleading expression."What's wrong, Harry?" Louis asked softly, squatting down beside the side of Harry's bed.Harry harrumphed, pulling one of his arms from the cocoon of warmth and patting the side of the bed. His eyes were wide and full of ivy green, splashed with beseeching need."You want me to stay?" Louis asked, his voice high and questioning.Harry nodded certainly in response."Okay," Louis whispered, before settling his bottom on the ground and placing his hands on the mattress. Harry sighed contently before shutting his eyes once more. Louis sat patiently and silently as Harry drifted off to sleep, his breathing deepening to a sleep-like level. He sat stroking Harry's thumb which had somehow linked with his as he thought over everything that had happened.When he was sure that Harry was asleep, he quietly shuffled up onto his feet. He bent over the bed, his hand caressing Harry's curls - which were incredibly soft by the way, if you were wondering. It was like they were strips of silk - and he lowered his head so he was close to Harry's peaceful expression."I'm sorry, Haz. I didn't mean it, I swear; I was just caught up and being stupid. Please forgive me," Louis whispered his confession to the sleeping boy. Before he left, he wondered whether it would be wrong to press a kiss onto the boy's head. Harry would never know, and Louis couldn't resist putting his lips to the mass of curls affectionately. "M'sorry," he mumbled as he pressed a small peck on the brown head of hair before turning out the room and making his way to the kitchen.

Anne placed the cup of tea in Louis' hands and collapsed down into the chair with a sigh. Louis let the warm tea wash down his throat as he sipped at it, an instant calm surging through his pores. There were a few minutes of silence as the two drank their warm drinks, a comfortable silence."So," Anne somewhat stated.The speech seemed to set Louis off into some kind of babbling mess as he released all his thoughts in a flurry of haste: "I can't say how sorry I am, Anne. For everything. For the trouble with Harry first and foremost; how I've made him worry. Which, in turn, has made him stay up all night, and he'll be so tired in the morning. And you will too, because you've had to be there to comfort him all because of me, when I should've been there instead. And-""Louis," Anne interrupted. "Stop. Stop apologizing: it's fine.""I know but-""But nothing. You didn't know Harry was like that; you were unaware of how he acted, so you acted normally. You have your own life, Louis; being friends with Harry doesn't stop that life.""But Harry is part of my life now...""No, Louis, your other life. The life you had before Harry. You have to go live it; you have other friends than just him.""I know but look where that ended us this time. I'm not going to stop talking to them or stop seeing them, because they're my best friends and I love them to pieces, but look at him now, Anne; look at what I've done.""You haven't done anything wrong. Y'know, Harry wouldn't despise you for having other people you care about; he knows you have a life beyond him. He just wanted to know you were okay. Next time, just make sure you reply to him, even if it's short. Or tell him what you're doing, tell him you're busy and that you'll speak to him whenever you can; just don't leave him hanging or waiting on a text that'll never come," Anne stated.Her words made Louis feel mainly relieved. He didn't have any lingering guilt on his shoulders anymore, and he felt better overall that he could live his life with his friends, regardless of Harry's anxiety problems. A simple text would be all it took, and Louis was sure he could do that, maybe even more."I'll make sure I do that, Anne, I'm not going to make the same mistake again," Louis began. "I just- I was wondering....has Harry always been like that? Like has he always gotten so worried over people?""The majority of the time, yes. It's more people around his age though; like he used to get so worried about Gemma. I mean, he hasn't had the chance to be worried, really, with his lack of friends, but on the odd occasion his cousins visited for the weekend and he got used to their presence, when they left Harry found it hard to deal with the sudden change. I think he feels that because they're around his age, that they would want to feel the care from someone like he wants. And the only way he can channel that care is by freaking out.""Do you find it hard to cope with?""It depends on the severity of it really. It's frustrating when I can't do anything about it, when it's all up to the other person who is normally oblivious to it, and all I want to do is help him. He acts so childlike when he goes through it all. It's like his mind has been set back ten years; something must just click in his brain and he copes as a child would. I mean, I guess it lets me take proper care of him, like hug him and comfort him properly, unlike normal, but then it's also so much harder because he just doesn't listen when I try to talk to him""Kind of bittersweet, right?" Louis inputted."Exactly. And it's hard too, when he comes out of that mode, because he doesn't really understand that he's been so compliant with everyone and it's hard for me to just slip back into reality. He knows what he's said though; he knows what he's thought. He gets moody, so if you stay over tonight - are you staying? - then you'll experience that, just a pre-warning. It's not too bad, but it's just a little like stepping on eggshells until he's fine again."Was Louis staying? He didn't know. He didn't want to overstep the boundaries. Like Anne said, Harry wasn't really in his full mind when he got so anxious, so maybe he didn't want to forgive Louis. But if that was the case, then surely Louis had to either talk it out with Harry and make sure neither of them were left not knowing where they stood, or try his best to get him to forgive him. But like Anne said, it wasn't like he didn't know his thoughts at all. His thoughts were left that he wanted to stay, but he knew it'd be rude to impose after all that he'd done."Am I allowed to?""Of course, Louis. You're welcomed here anytime now, okay? I know what Uni is like and the struggle for money and lack of food in the fridge, so if you need anything just com-"Suddenly, a loud banging was heard from upstairs followed by heavy footsteps around the second level of the house. Anne and Louis both shot each other curious and confused looks. The pounding became louder as it descended down the stairs and soon enough, the kitchen door slammed open.Harry came stumbling in, his body ricocheting off the door and further into the kitchen. His eyes were wide and his hair was all over the place. One of his hands was clutching at the roots of his curls in anguish. He was panting heavily, somewhat distressed, as his eyes shot around the room until they landed on Louis.Once he spotted the older boy, it seemed like all his distress ran out of him. He staggered over to Louis and collapsed onto him in relief. Louis' eyes were wide as Harry gripped onto him so tightly it was like he didn't want to let him go. His fingers dug into Louis' shoulders, trenching the thin cotton of his t-shirt. His cheek was leaning against Louis' and he was breathing deeply. Fuck, his skin was so smooth, how is that even possible and Jesus, he's breathing on my fucking neck, shit, I'm going to- yep, there's the goosebumps was all Louis could think as the boy stayed there until his body had slackened and relaxed a little."You alright, babe?" Louis said softly, bringing his hand up into Harry's head to try and calm him a little with the soft strokes.Harry nodded weakly as he pulled his head to be in line with Louis. His eyes flickered over to the back door which led out into the garden, and he released his clutch on Louis' shoulder to gesture over to it. He had a pout on his face - an adorable one it was - as if he was trying to convey the worry he felt."Door?" Louis asked confusedly.Harry nodded, tilting his head to the side and gesturing something along the lines of leaving from it."Oh, you thought I'd left?" Louis said once he'd realised Harry's motives for such a panicked reaction. Harry nodded in agreement."Did you- did you not want me to leave?"Harry shook his head determinedly, as if it were the most obvious thing, yet at the same time, it was something he had to explain to Louis through his actions."You want me to stay?" Louis' voice was high in question. He was somewhat surprised at how Harry was acting, how he desperately wanted him to stay. Harry nodded with the same determination, with a closed-lipped smile on his face, utter contentment."Okay," Louis whispered so quietly it was almost silent, just his lips mouthing the words.Harry shuffled off of Louis' lap and stood beside him, holding his hand out expectantly. Louis breathed out a chuckle as he grasped at the long fingered hand to heave himself up. The feel of Harry's hand was soft and smooth. It swamped Louis' nimble fingers, regardless of his younger age. It swallowed it up, but it felt so right. Louis liked the warmth it brought; it was nice.The panic seemed to have worn off and been replaced by exhaustion, and Harry's feet trudged along the floor as he pulled Louis upstairs. Louis heard Anne coo as she cradled her tea, and as Louis turned back to stick his tongue out at her playfully, he saw her face full of love and brightness. It made Louis' heart surge with bliss when he saw her expression, her acceptance for her son and his friendship.Louis let Harry pull him up the stairs and into the darkened bedroom. Harry immediately climbed into the bed and snuggled himself into the covers, embracing the warmth once again. His closed eyes fluttered open when Louis didn't move from standing beside his bed. His eyebrow was furrowed and his lips were tightly pressed together as if he were deep in thought.His arm reached out and he pulled Louis' wrist towards him. It made Louis stumble, almost sprawling over the bed and Harry. Before he could question Harry's actions, Harry was patting the mattress where there was space behind his back.Louis looked at him warily, "You want me to...get in? With you?"Harry nodded with enthusiasm, well, as much enthusiasm as someone about to fall asleep can have."You sure? I don't think that's a good idea, Harry..." As much as he wanted to, he didn't want to take advantage of the boy's childlike state. Nothing was going to happen, obviously, but it was still intimate.Harry's eyes pleaded with him, and Louis tried his hardest to resist them but they were so endearing that he couldn't stop his hands pulling off his shoes and - before checking with Harry that it was alright - pulling off his skinny jeans and clambering over the weary boy. He slipped under the soft duvet and settled himself down. He didn't want to get too close to Harry, or else there was a chance the boy would freak out too much. This was already a big step.That decision, however, was made for him as Harry grabbed Louis' arms and pulled them around him. At first, Louis felt his body stiffen awkwardly, shocked at the forwardness, but he soon relaxed into Harry's body and hugged him warmly. Harry snuggled back into Louis' body and sighed joyfully, and then fell into a peaceful sleep almost immediately.Louis looked at Harry's calm expression, drinking in his perfect features and feeling the heavy weight against his chest like it was always meant to be there.Louis knew that feeling.That fluttering in his stomach, that pulse raising heat that spread over his skin.That pounding in his heart each time he thought of the boy, that irrepressible, euphoric wash of emotions that surged through his veins each time he looked at him.Louis liked Harry.More than a friend should.But surprisingly, he didn't mind that.He liked it.And so he went to sleep with an unusual calm, embracing the younger boy in his arms.