20. Forever

Pulling on the door handle as I push the door open, climbing out of the car. The cold air hits me, causing me to shiver before sliding my bag onto my back, pulling the straps tight before pushing the door shut and walking away, a deep sigh leaving my lips as a few more tears begin to fall at the thought of Daryl, the memory of my dream. The urge to just scream and just give up tugs at me, almost winning as I stop and stand still a moment, my hand hovering over my knife as I think of how easy it would be to give up? End it all? But that thought is gone as the small piece of hope sparks up, the image of finding Daryl again, the thought of him being okay and out there somewhere forces me to continue, forces me to keep walking, though some part of me does believe. I know in the front of my mind that there's no chance I'm going to ever find him, ever get to see him again or feel his touch. And with that thought constantly replaying in my mind the tears continue to fall as I drag my feet forward, my hand still hovering over my knife. I finally take a small break, sitting down on a car bonnet as I drag my knife along it, engraving both mine and Daryl's name into it, before closing my eyes a long moment. Opening them slowly as I climb off of the car bonnet, inhaling a deep breath for courage to continue on. Placing my knife back in it's holster as I take off walking again, repeating inside my head 'I will not give up'.

I stay on alert, an hour or two passes as I fail to keep repeating 'I will not give up' inside my head, trying my best to make sure not to let my thoughts get the best of me as the old horrid ones return. I reach for my knife as a few walks stumble towards me, a pained expression marking my features, watching with sharp eyes, the sight of them making the thoughts screams louder, the image of Daryl becoming one. The image of me becoming one. I shake my head a little as I completely break down "What?! C'mon, just kill me already.. Bite me, I give up.. I fucking give up" I scream, watching as they hungrily snap their jaws and drag their feet toward me. "Please.. Just fucking do it" I shout but my voice cracks into a sob. I can almost feel one walkers nails digging into my skin and ripping me apart, staring at it with an already dead expression, the whistling sound of a bolt echoes through my ear as it goes straight into the walkers skull, making me jump back and turn around, and suddenly the pain and emptiness inside my chest is lifted and filled with a warmth, my heart pounds fast as the urge to run at Daryl almost takes over. I smirk, grabbing my knife as I spin around and stab my knife into a walkers head, kicking it down as I yank the bloody knife back out, wasting no time in killing another, Daryl shooting the last one with another blot, I turn back around to face him. Finally letting the urge take over as I shove the knife back into the holster before taking off running straight into Daryl, my arms tightly wrapping around his waist as I grip tightly onto his vest, refusing to let go.

"I thought I lost you" Daryl whispers, before I feel his arms slip around me, holding me close to him as I press my face deeply into his chest, sniffling back the tears.

"I was so scared.. I-I ca-can't lo-lose yo-you Da-Daryl" I stutter, trying my best not to cry as he pulls back a little, putting his finger underneath my chin and lifting my head, making me look into his eyes.

"Never again, okay" he says, and I believe him with every part of me. Standing up on my tippy toes as I press my lips against his, unable to help myself.

I feel him pull back after a long moment "Sorry.. I needed to do that" I say before he can speak.

"Don't be" he says, and I inhale a deep breath, smiling brightly as I look at him, moving my arms up and draping them over his shoulders.

"Daryl.. I have to say this, just incase I lose you again. I need you to know that...I love you..." I finally manage to say, not caring if he didn't say it back. And by the look on his face, I know he isn't going to.

"Y'know.. I ain't know much 'bout love. But.. I know... I know I care 'bout ya more than I have anyone else and the pain I felt when I thought I lost ya" he pauses, dropping his gaze away from me "I couldn't handle it.. Most fucking painful thing I've ever felt" And just like that, I stare at him speechless. Because he just explained he loved me. "So yeah.. I think I love ya to"

I press my lips against his again, kissing him a long moment before pulling back "We should get going" I tilt my head toward the road, bringing my hands down and linking my fingers with his.

"Yea', 'fore it gets dark" Daryl nods his head and together again.. Finally. We take off walking. Walking toward whatever awaits us, because I now know. No matter what happens I'm never leaving Daryl's side again, and as I gaze over toward him. I know that he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, whether it be a day or a month. I want to be with him forever, even after death. I finally smile wide, looking back ahead as I squeeze his hand.