Chapter 48

It was noon, and the once-vibrant air in the grand mansion felt heavy and suffocating. Alastair zipped the last suitcase, her trembling fingers lingering on the handle. Her gaze swept across the extravagant master bedroom, a room that had witnessed both the heights of their love and the depths of their undoing. It was here that she and Zaviya once shared laughter, whispered dreams, and moments of unspoken tenderness. But now, the room stood as a hollow monument—a sanctuary turned graveyard for a love she once thought was indestructible.

How could something so beautiful, so pure, crumble so devastatingly? No, she corrected herself bitterly. It wasn’t sudden. The cracks had been forming for years, a slow, agonizing erosion she had refused to see. She had fought valiantly, twisting and bending fate to keep them together. But in the end, fate wasn’t just cruel—it was merciless. And now, it delivered its final blow, leaving her broken, consumed by the weight of a battle she could never win.

Her thoughts were interrupted by quiet sniffles. Nalin, the young maid who felt more like a sister, and Nay Celia, the woman who had raised her like her own, stood by the doorway, their eyes red and puffy. They had been silently helping her pack, their sadness palpable.

“Ate Al,” Nalin began hesitantly, her voice trembling with worry. “Sigurado ka na ba talaga? Paano na kayo ni Ate Zaviya?”

Alastair took a shaky breath, willing herself to remain composed. “Yeah, I’ve decided. This is for my own good. It’s time… time to heal this wounded heart,” she said, her voice cracking despite her efforts.

Nay Celia stepped closer, her wrinkled hands trembling as she held Alastair’s. “Anak, naaalala ko noon. Noong limang taon ka pa lang, unang beses na nakita mo si Zaviya sa swing sa park. Sabi mo, isang araw, papakasalan mo siya.” Tears streamed down the older woman’s face as she continued, “Itong pag-alis mo, ito ba talaga ang gusto mo? Mapapayapa ba nito ang puso mo?”

Alastair’s resolve wavered, her body shaking as fresh tears welled in her eyes. “Nay, tinupad ko naman po yung pangako ko, di ba?” Her voice broke as she continued, “I even married her twice pa nga e. Ginawa ko ang lahat para sa kanya, para sa amin. Pero ngayon… wala nang natira sa akin. Mahal ko si Zaviya, sobra pa sa sobra. Pero Nay, sobrang nasasaktan na ako. Kung babalikan ko siya ngayon dahil alam na niya ang totoo, pero ganito naman ako—basag na basag—wala rin. Paulit-ulit lang naming masasaktan ang isa’t isa.”

Her voice faltered as sobs wracked her body. “I made her cry enough. I hurt her too much. At sa tingin ko, kung mananatili pa ako, masisira kami nang tuluyan. Baka… baka di na kami makabawi pa.”

Nalin and Nay Celia enveloped her in a tight embrace, their tears mingling with hers. Alastair clung to them like a lifeline, her heart shattering with every word she spoke.

“I need to breathe, Nay. I need to find myself… to heal. I owe it to myself for fighting so hard, for so long. Gusto ko namang buuin ulit ang sarili ko. Kahit isang beses lang…”

Nay Celia’s voice was soft, yet firm, as she stroked Alastair’s hair. “Anak, kahit ano’ng mangyari, nandito lang kami. Palagi kang may uuwian, kapag dumating na ang panahon na sa tingin mo at naramdaman mo na handa ka nang bumalik, andito kami inaantay ka. Mag-iingat ka kung saan ka man paroroon. Dalangin namin ay maghilom ang sugat ng mga kahapon. Alastair anak nawa ay mahanap mo ang kapatawaran sa iyong puso para sa mga taong nanakit sayo, at sana ay huwag mo ring kalimutan na patawarin ang sarili mo.”

Nalin nodded, her eyes glistening with fresh tears. “Ate Al, susuportahan ka namin kahit anong desisyon mo. Pero sana, hanapin mo rin ang daan pabalik sa kasiyahan mo. Mag-iingat ka palagi.”

The two women gave her one final squeeze before leaving the room, their footsteps echoing in the deafening silence. Alone again, Alastair collapsed onto the edge of the bed, her hands gripping the sheets as if they could anchor her to the fragments of her past.

Her mind drifted to the conversation she had with her friends and to Zaviya's parents earlier, their words playing in her head like a haunting melody.

The morning mist clings to the vast garden surrounding Klaud’s mansion. Alastair stands at the gate, her figure slumped and her face weary. As she steps inside, Klaud, Cadence, Gaios, Orion, and Roux rush out to meet her. Klaud pulls her into a firm embrace, while the others follow suit, their concern evident in their actions.

Her  face is calm, but her bloodshot eyes and the faint tremble of her lips betray the storm within. Bruises and scratches mark her arms and face—remnants of her fight with Irfan.

Klaud steps back, her voice laced with worry. "Alastair, dude, my god. We’ve been looking for you everywhere! Saan ka nanggaling? Anong nangyari sa'yo?" Her hands hover near her, unsure whether to touch the bruises.

Gaios quickly moves closer, inspecting her wrist and arms. "Are you okay? Why didn’t you contact us? Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been?"

A faint smile graces Alastair’s lips, a shadow of her usual confidence. She laughs softly, bitterly. "You guys think I did something stupid again, huh? Don’t worry. I’m fine. These are nothing." She gestures to the bruises, as though dismissing their significance.

But her voice cracks when she adds, "How are you guys?" She walks to the rattan chair in the garden, lowering herself onto it heavily. Her friends follow, exchanging worried glances.

Klaud kneels beside her. "We’re okay. Pero ikaw? What happened? Talk to us."

Alastair stares at the horizon, her voice barely a whisper. "Same shit. Nothing new. Actually..." She pauses, her throat tightening. "...I came to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" Orion asks, her eyes widening. "You’re leaving? What about Zaviya? What about your relationship?"

Her hands clench into fists on her lap. Her voice hardens, but tears glisten in her eyes. "There’s no relationship. She said it herself—she’s done."

"Alastair, stop," Gaios interrupts, leaning forward. "Dude, she’s been looking for you for a week now. Every day, umiiyak siya. Oliana told us Zaviya knows the truth now—your truth."

"Yeah?" Alastair’s laugh is hollow. "Good for her. It’s about time, I guess."

Roux shifts uncomfortably, choosing her words carefully. "What are you planning to do, Al? Zaviya knows now. I think this is your chance to make things work, after everything."

Alastair’s walls crack. Her voice rises slightly, a mix of anger and pain. "Does it even matter? Do you think everything will magically fix itself just because she knows now? Dude, honestly..." Her voice falters, and tears spill down her cheeks. "I’m too broken. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. Masyado na akong kinain ng pagmamahal ko para kay Zaviya. I gave everything I had for her, and now, there’s nothing left of me. And she’s broken, too. We’re lost. And…” She paused, her shoulders shaking as she struggled to breathe. “And she told me she gave herself to Irfan even compared me to that fucker.”

A sob escaped her lips, and then another, until the tears came in full force. “I’m so hurt. Everything feels so heavy. Ang bigat na, sobra.”

Without hesitation, Klaud wrapped her arms around Alastair, holding her tightly as the rest of the group leaned closer, their presence grounding her.

“You’re allowed to feel this, Al,” Klaud said softly, her voice steady but full of emotion. “You’re allowed to break down. But you don’t have to do it alone.”

Cadence knelt in front of Alastair, placing a comforting hand on her knee. “We’re here for you. Whatever you decide—whether you fight for her or let her go—we’ll support you. But don’t give up on yourself, Al. You’re worth so much more than this pain.”

Gaios nodded, her voice firm. “You’ve been through hell and back, Al. And you’re still here. That says something. Maybe you’re not ready to fight for Zaviya yet, and that’s okay. But promise us you won’t stop fighting for yourself.”

Orion chimed in, her voice breaking with emotion. “Al, you’re family. You don’t have to carry this alone. Let us carry some of it with you.”

Roux placed a hand on Alastair’s shoulder, her tone gentle but unwavering. “And if you decide to fight for her, we’ll be right there with you. But don’t rush it. Take your time. Heal first, okay?”

Alastair looked at each of them, her tears still falling, but her heart feeling a little less heavy. She nodded slowly, her voice trembling but sincere. “Thank you, guys. I don’t deserve you.”

“You do,” Klaud said firmly, pulling her into another hug. “You always have.”

The group stayed like that for a while, a quiet strength flowing between them. After a few hours of staying at Klaud's mansion, Alastair drove herself to the Porsild's estate, a manor that had always felt like a second home.

As she stepped onto the grand front porch, memories hit her like crashing waves, threatening to drown her resolve. She stood frozen for a moment, the sight of the familiar door bringing back fragments of the past—fragments she had tried desperately to suppress.

It was here, on this very doorstep, where countless verbal sparring matches had played out between her and Zaviya, their voices laced with stubbornness and something unspoken even back then. The porch had borne witness to years of their banter, from their childhood to the fiery days of their rivalry as successful businesswomen.

Her gaze drifted to the left, to the massive garden bathed in twilight. For a fleeting moment, she saw it again—the two of them seated at an intimate family dinner, their laughter blending with the soft glow of fairy lights. She blinked hard, and the vision shifted to the moment they stood before their families in that very spot, hands intertwined, announcing that they were pregnant with their first child. She could still hear the unrestrained joy in their parents' voices, could still feel Zaviya’s hand trembling in hers.

But all that joy had slipped through her fingers, and now, every memory felt like a blade carving its way through her heart.

The creak of the front door broke her reverie. A maid appeared, her kind eyes softening at the sight of Alastair, as though she could sense the storm raging within her. "Miss Dee," the maid greeted softly. "Please come in and wait in the living room."

Alastair nodded, her throat too tight to respond. She followed the maid down the familiar hallway, every step heavy with the weight of memories. As she entered the living room, her eyes instinctively scanned the space.

There it was. The image of her kneeling on this very floor played vividly in her mind. She had begged Zaviya's parents that day, begged them to arrange another marriage for her and their daughter. It had been her last desperate attempt to keep Zaviya, to keep their family from crumbling. She remembered the tears in Morten and Nee's eyes as they watched her break, as she promised them that no one else would take the blame if her plan failed. She had pleaded until her voice gave out, swearing that she would bear the weight of every consequence.

Her gaze landed on a photo hanging on the wall—Zaviya as a young girl, sitting on a swing with her pigtails swaying in the wind. A small, bittersweet smile tugged at Alastair's lips. That was the first time she had seen Zaviya, so full of life and innocence. She had made a silent vow then, a promise that one day she would marry that girl.

And she did. Twice.

But in the end, she broke Zaviya in ways she could never repair.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps. Morten and Nee entered the room, their expressions warm but tinged with sadness. Alastair stood awkwardly, her hands trembling as she struggled to find the words.

"Alastair," Nee began, her voice gentle, "it's good to see you again."

"Thank you for seeing me," Alastair replied, her voice cracking. She looked at the two people who had become like second parents to her, and the weight of her guilt threatened to crush her.

"I’m so sorry," she whispered, her voice barely audible. Tears welled in her eyes, and she struggled to hold them back. "For everything I’ve done. For all the pain I caused Zaviya. For ruining our marriage, our family... for the accident... for the miscarriage of our baby..." Her voice broke completely, and her knees buckled as she sank onto the couch, burying her face in her hands. "I was selfish. I pushed too hard. I hurt her in ways I didn’t even realize."

Morten sat beside her, his hand resting on her shoulder. "Alastair," he said gently, "you did all of that because you loved her. You fought for her, for your family. None of it was your fault."

"But it feels like it’s all my fault," she sobbed. "If I hadn’t been so desperate, if I had just let her go instead of clinging to something that was breaking us both...I tried so hard to hold on to her—to us—but all I did was push her further away. I lost myself trying to keep her, and now... I’ve lost her, too. If I hadn’t fought so hard to keep something that was already slipping away, maybe—maybe she wouldn’t have suffered so much.” Her words dissolved into muffled cries.

Nee knelt in front of her, taking Alastair's trembling hands in her own. "You loved her, Alastair. Every choice you made, every fight you fought—it all came from love. You gave her everything you had. That’s not something to be ashamed of."

Morten gently turned Alastair to face her. “You loved her the best way you knew how. You’re human, Alastair. You made mistakes, but don’t forget the sacrifices you made for her, for your family. That kind of love... it’s rare. Zaviya knows that, even if she’s hurting right now.”

But their words only made the tears flow harder. The truth was, love wasn’t enough. And now, Alastair was left with nothing but the wreckage of what once was.

She took a deep, shuddering breath and sat up straighter, wiping her tears. "I came here to tell you something," she said, her voice firmer now. "I’m leaving."

Morten and Nee exchanged a look of quiet understanding, but neither interrupted.

"I need to leave," Alastair continued, her voice breaking again. "I can’t do this anymore. I’ve hurt Zaviya too much. I’ve hurt myself too much. If I stay, I’ll just keep breaking her, over and over again. She deserves better than that. She deserves someone who won’t destroy her the way I have. I already signed too the divorce paper."

Nee’s eyes glistened with tears, and Morten let out a heavy sigh. “Are you sure about this?” she asked gently.

Alastair nodded, though the pain in her chest threatened to consume her. “I am. I’ve tried everything to hold on, but it’s only made things worse. I need to let go... for her sake and mine. I don’t know if I’ll ever be the person she deserves, but I can’t keep pretending I’m okay when I’m not.”

Nee’s eyes filled with tears, but she nodded. "We understand, Alastair. We’ve seen how hard you’ve fought, how much you’ve given. But we also see how much it’s cost you."

Morten added, "You’ve done everything you could. No one can ask more of you than that. If leaving is what you need to heal, then we’ll support you."

Alastair nodded, her heart heavy but resolute. "I don’t know if I’ll ever be back... or if Zaviya will ever want me back. But I need to find myself again. I can’t love her the way she deserves if I don’t even know who I am anymore. But please... tell and remind her that I love her. Always.”

Nee added softly, “But promise us one thing: don’t lose hope. Whether or not you find your way back to her, don’t give up on yourself. You’ve always been strong, Alastair. Find that strength again.”

Alastair nodded, her vision blurred with tears. “Thank you. For everything. For believing in me even when I didn’t deserve it.”

The room fell silent, the weight of her words hanging between them.

Finally, Nee leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "We’ll take care of her while you’re gone. You have our word."

Alastair stood, her legs shaky but steady enough to carry her out the door. She paused at the threshold, glancing back at the people who had been her family. "Thank you," she whispered.

With that, she turned and walked out of the house, the weight of her decision pressing down on her shoulders. As the door closed behind her, she felt a bittersweet mixture of relief and despair. She was walking away not because she didn’t love Zaviya, but because she loved her too much to keep breaking her.

As she walked away, the weight on her chest felt unbearable. But somewhere, deep inside, there was a faint glimmer of hope—that maybe, just maybe, she could rebuild herself from the ruins of her love.

Alastair sat on the edge of their shared master bed, her hands clasped tightly together as if holding herself together was the only thing preventing her from shattering. The soft glow of the bedside lamp bathed the room in a golden haze, the shadows elongating the emptiness that surrounded her. Her gaze lingered on the perfectly lined suitcases near the door, each one a silent testament to her decision—a decision she had fought against with every fiber of her being.

The air in the room felt heavy, almost suffocating, as she replayed every memory she had shared with Zaviya. Every laugh, every argument, every stolen glance that spoke of emotions neither dared to say aloud. Her heart clenched as she thought of Zaviya’s smile, the way her eyes lit up whenever she talked about her dreams. Zaviya had always been her weakness, her strength, her entire world, and now, she was about to walk away from it all.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this. Alastair had spent her life defying the odds, manipulating fate to bend to her will. She had fought tooth and nail for what she wanted, and what she wanted more than anything was Zaviya. But love wasn’t something she could control, no matter how hard she tried. It was as wild and unpredictable as Zaviya herself, slipping through her fingers despite her desperate attempts to hold on.

Her chest ached as she thought about the moments she had pushed Zaviya away, the sharp words she had thrown like daggers in moments of weakness. She had convinced herself that Zaviya deserved better—someone softer, someone who didn’t come with the baggage of a life spent fighting battles most people couldn’t comprehend. And yet, she had stayed, clinging to the hope that love would be enough to bridge the chasm between them.

But love wasn’t enough. Not when she knew that Zaviya had cried herself to sleep through the nights. Not when the look in Zaviya’s eyes had shifted from fiery defiance to quiet resignation. Alastair had broken the one person she had sworn to protect, and the realization was a knife to her heart.

A tear slipped down her cheek, unnoticed and unchecked, as she stared at the door. She knew Zaviya would walk through it soon, her steps hesitant, her expression guarded. Alastair had rehearsed her words a hundred times in her head, but now they felt like ashes in her mouth. How do you tell someone you love them so much it hurts, but that love isn’t enough to keep you from leaving?

The clock ticked mercilessly, each second dragging her closer to the inevitable. Alastair took a shaky breath, her hands trembling as she pressed them against her knees. She loved Zaviya—God, how she loved her. But sometimes, love meant letting go. It meant putting the other person’s happiness above your own, even if it meant breaking yourself in the process.

After a few breaths to calm her nerves, Alastair walks out of the door and proceed to the nursery room. The room was eerily silent, save for the faint creak of the wooden floor beneath Alastair's feet. It was bathed in soft, golden light as the sunset filtered through the pastel curtains, casting shadows of the delicate floral patterns onto the walls. It was a room meant to cradle laughter, lullabies, and the soft coos of a newborn. Instead, it held the weight of unspoken grief—a mausoleum of dreams that would never come to life.Her chest tightening as she took in the sight. The crib, painted in a soft blush pink, stood in the center of the room like a cruel reminder. Her trembling hands gripped the doorframe as the wave of memories crashed over her.

It should have been a haven of joy. Instead, it was a haunting echo of the shattered past.

She walked inside slowly, as if stepping on sacred ground. The air was thick, heavy with the scent of lavender from an untouched baby lotion bottle on the dresser. Alastair’s eyes fell on the hand-painted wooden letters hanging on the wall. Zariah Addison. The name they had chosen together. The name that was supposed to belong to their daughter.

Her fingers hovered over the letters, tracing each curve and line. “Zariah…” she whispered, her voice breaking into a sob. A lump formed in her throat as her mind conjured the image of the child that never was—soft curls framing a cherubic face, a mischievous grin that mirrored Zaviya’s beautiful features and smile, and a spark in her eyes that could only come from her.

She could almost hear Zariah’s giggles, feel the weight of her tiny body in her arms. Alastair closed her eyes and swayed slightly, imagining the child resting on her chest. In her mind, Zariah’s tiny hands gripped her finger tightly, her warmth filling the void in Alastair’s heart.

But the warmth never came.

Alastair collapsed onto the small couch by the window, her body sinking into the cushions that had never been used. Her hands fell onto a small box on the side table. She opened it slowly, pulling out a pair of pink mittens, no larger than the size of her palm. She held them to her chest, cradling them as though they were the baby they were meant for.

“I’m sorry…” she whispered, her voice cracking under the weight of her guilt. Tears streamed down her face, staining the soft fabric of the mittens. “I’m so sorry, baby girl.” Her shoulders shook as she clung to the fragile memory of a life that never began.

“I should have protected you, you and mommy. I should have—” Her words dissolved into quiet sobs as she rocked back and forth, clutching the mittens tightly. “You deserved the world, my Zariah. You deserved to see the sun, to feel both of our arms around you. But I... I took that away from you. It’s my fault. All of it.”

Her tears blurred her vision as she stared at the empty crib. The room seemed to mock her, every corner a reminder of what she had lost. Her heart felt like it was being crushed under the weight of her regret. The walls seemed to close in around her as she thought about Zaviya—about the pain she had caused her.

“I failed her too, your mommy” Alastair whispered, her voice trembling. “I broke her heart. She trusted me, and I—” Her words faltered as a fresh wave of grief washed over her. “I couldn’t save you, Zariah. And I couldn’t save her either.”

For a moment, Alastair considered staying in the nursery, caving all day and hidden away with her guilt and agony. But she knew she couldn’t keep running from the truth.

She stood slowly, clutching the pink mittens in her hand. Her legs felt heavy as she made her way out of the room, leaving behind the remnants of their shattered dreams. She paused by the door, glancing back one last time.

“I’m so sorry, Zariah,” she whispered again, her voice barely audible. “I hope you know how much we loved you.”

With that, she closed the door to the nursery, her heart aching with every step she took toward their master bedroom. The house was quiet, but the silence  was louder than words.

*********************The room seemed to hold its breath, heavy with a grief so raw it felt alive. Every corner was steeped in unspoken words, in shattered dreams, and in a love that had endured too much. The dim light cast long shadows across the walls, but none loomed as large as the silence between them.

Alastair sat motionless on the edge of their bed, her broad shoulders hunched forward as if carrying the weight of the world. Her hands were clasped so tightly that her knuckles had turned white, a silent testament to the battle raging inside her. Her face was unreadable—a mask of composure—yet her trembling shoulders betrayed the storm she couldn’t suppress. The faint creak of the door pulled her from her thoughts, her head jerking up.

There stood Zaviya.

She looked like a ghost of herself. Her usually impeccable hair was in disarray, her dark, tear-streaked eyes holding an emptiness that struck Alastair like a dagger. Her lips quivered as though words fought to escape, but nothing came. She took one shaky step into the room, and then another, before her knees buckled.

“Zaviya—” Alastair began, her voice cracking, but Zaviya was already rushing to her.

Zaviya dropped to her knees in front of Alastair, gripping her waist with desperate, trembling hands. Her head buried itself against Alastair’s stomach as if seeking refuge. And then she broke. Sobs tore from her chest, raw and unrelenting, filling the room with the sound of her anguish.

“I’m sorry,” Zaviya choked out, her voice cracking with each word. “I’m so sorry, Alastair.”

The world seemed to shatter in that moment. Alastair’s entire being froze as her mind struggled to process the sight before her. Zaviya—fierce, stubborn, untouchable Zaviya—was crumbling, her entire being breaking apart in Alastair’s arms. It was a sight she never thought she’d see, one that shattered every defense she had left.

Alastair hesitated, her arms hovering mid-air, unsure if she had the right to comfort the woman she’d unknowingly destroyed. But as Zaviya’s sobs wracked her body, Alastair surrendered, wrapping her arms around her and holding her as tightly as she dared. She rested her chin on Zaviya’s head, her tears falling silently into the other woman’s hair. I did this to her, she thought bitterly. This is all my fault.

“It’s okay, Zavi,” Alastair whispered, though her voice was hollow. The words felt like a lie, like a betrayal of the pain Zaviya carried. But what else could she say?

Zaviya’s hands gripped Alastair’s shirt, her voice trembling as she pulled back just enough to meet Alastair’s eyes. “No, it’s not okay,” she said, her voice breaking with every word. “I know now. I know why you did it. Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you carry it all alone? Why, Alastair? Why didn’t you let me in?” Her voice cracked, and tears spilled down her face, her hands trembling as they cupped Alastair’s cheeks. “Why didn’t you trust me to carry the burden with you?”

Alastair’s breath hitched. The sight of Zaviya so broken, so vulnerable, tore at her soul. The walls she’d built around her heart crumbled, leaving her exposed. She closed her eyes, tears slipping through as she shook her head. “Because I couldn’t,” she said, her voice barely audible. “Because you deserved better than the mess I would’ve made. Zaviya, you… you’ve always deserved the world.”

Zaviya shook her head, her tears falling faster. “And I would’ve fought the world for you, Alastair. Don’t you see that? You didn’t have to do this alone. You didn’t have to break yourself for me.”

Alastair’s chest ached with a pain so deep it threatened to consume her. Her hands moved to cover Zaviya’s, their foreheads pressing together. Her voice trembled as she spoke, each word laden with the truth of her heart. “Zavi, from the moment I was five years old, I’ve loved you. You were my light, my everything. And I swore—swore—that I would protect you, give you everything, no matter the cost. Even if it meant breaking myself. Even if it meant losing you.”

Zaviya sobbed harder, her grip tightening as if she could hold Alastair’s heart together through sheer will. “But I never wanted you to lose yourself for me. I just wanted you.”

Zaviya’s sobs became uncontrollable, each gasp for air carrying the weight of three long years of regret and buried pain. Her voice cracked with the force of her guilt. “I’m sorry, Alastair. I’m sorry for not giving you a chance to explain. From three years ago and even now—here in the present. I shut you out. I accused you of things because I was hurting, but I never stopped to listen. I hurt you so much, and I hated myself for it.”

Alastair’s heart clenched at the sight of Zaviya breaking before her, the proud, stubborn woman she had loved reduced to tears. She reached out, her hands trembling as she guided Zaviya to sit on the edge of the bed, gently holding her as her legs buckled. Then Alastair knelt before her, her eyes brimming with tears. She cupped Zaviya’s hands in hers, the warmth between them laced with years of longing and unspoken love.

“Zavi,” Alastair began, her voice trembling but steady enough to cut through the anguish in the room. “This pain… it’s not just yours to bear. It’s mine too. I broke us because I was so desperate to hold on to something that was slipping through my fingers. And now, all I’ve done is ruin the one thing—the only thing—that ever mattered to me. You.”

The silence that followed wasn’t empty; it was heavy, suffocating, and filled with the echoes of wounds that never healed.

Zaviya gripped Alastair’s hands tighter, her knuckles white as if letting go would mean losing her forever. Her voice was barely a whisper, but it carried the weight of a vow. “I hurt you so much too, Alastair. I let my pride blind me. I let my pain control me. But I can’t lose you—not again. Please… let me fix this. Let me try to make it right.”

Her breath hitched, and her voice broke again, “Give me another chance. Please, Alastair, let me make up for the years we lost—for every moment I hurt you. Let me love you the way I should have all along. Let me show you how much I still love you.”

Alastair’s tears fell freely, her chest heaving as she searched Zaviya’s eyes for the truth in her words. What she saw wasn’t just pain—it was love, raw and unguarded, stripped of the pride and fear that had kept them apart for so long. Alastair lifted Zaviya’s hands to her lips, pressing a kiss to them as if sealing a fragile promise. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to believe in a second chance. But deep down, she knew better. Loving Zaviya had cost them both too much. They had lost themselves trying to hold on to something that had been broken for far too long.

“Zavi,” she began, her voice trembling. “We can’t. I can’t, I can't do this anymore. I’m broken. I’m lost. And I don’t know how to find myself while I’m with you. I love you more than I can put into words. But we’re both so broken. Loving each other... it’s cost us so much. We’ve lost parts of ourselves along the way. And if we stay together now, we’ll only keep hurting each other.”

Zaviya’s eyes widened in panic, her head shaking violently. “No, Alastair. Please, don’t say that. We can fix this. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

Alastair’s resolve cracked, but she pushed through the pain. Alastair stood, her tears falling freely now. She reached for the envelope she had placed on the nightstand earlier, handing it to Zaviya with trembling hands.

“What’s this?” Zaviya asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Open it,” Alastair said, her voice cracking.

Zaviya's trembling fingers struggled to open the envelope. As she unfolded the papers inside, the bold, unforgiving word "Divorce" seared into her eyes, and her sobs erupted into heart-wrenching wails.

"This is my last act of love for you Zavi,” Alastair whispered, her voice cracking, “I’ve always loved you. Even when it hurt. Even when I thought I lost you. But this… this isn’t about going back. It’s about starting again.” Alastair whispered, her voice barely audible over the storm of emotions.

The weight of the divorce papers crashed over Zaviya like a relentless tidal wave, threatening to drown her in regret and heartbreak. Her hands trembled as she clung to Alastair’s shirt, her voice a desperate plea laced with agony. “No, Alastair. Not like this. Don’t end us. Please—oh my god, this is all my fault. Damn it. I am the one who ruined us!” The raw pain in her voice cracked through the silence, her tears staining Alastair’s chest like a confession of all her regrets.

Alastair couldn’t hold back anymore. Her hands, trembling as if they bore the weight of the world, rose to cradle Zaviya’s tear-streaked face. Her thumbs brushed away the tears, but they kept coming, like a flood neither of them could stop. Her own tears mirrored Zaviya’s, falling unrestrained and heavy with the anguish of a love slipping through their fingers.

Her voice was barely above a whisper, but it carried the weight of a heart breaking into a thousand irreparable pieces. “Zavi... please,” she begged, her words faltering under the burden of her guilt. “Don’t blame yourself. Don’t carry that weight. I’m the one who made this mess. It’s because of me—because of my choices—Olga came after you. She hurt you. She ruined us. I—I was desperate, Zaviya. I tried to defy fate, to hold on to something we were never meant to lose, and look at what happened. Look at the damage I caused.”

Her voice cracked, and for a moment, she couldn’t go on, the pain in her chest suffocating. “It’s all on me, Zav. Not you. Never you. Please, don’t think that for a second. Don’t carry my mistakes. Don’t destroy yourself because of what I’ve done.”

Zaviya’s sobs grew louder, her knees threatening to give way, but she held on tighter to Alastair, her grip desperate, almost frantic. Her head fell against Alastair’s shoulder as she shook with the force of her grief. “I—I can’t lose you,” she choked out. “I can’t let this end like this, Alastair. I need you. You’re the only thing I’ve ever needed.”

Alastair’s arms instinctively wrapped around her, pulling her close as if the act alone could mend what was shattered between them. Her heart shattered anew at Zaviya’s words, knowing deep down that no matter how tightly they held onto each other, the cracks in their love ran too deep.

"Listen, I'm setting you free, Zavi," she whispered, her voice cracking under the strain of emotions she could no longer contain. "Free from the pain, the heartache, the endless cycle of losing ourselves in each other." She choked back a sob, her thumb brushing away a tear from Zaviya's cheek, only for more to take its place. "I'm giving up on us—not because I stopped loving you. God, Zaviya, I love you so much. More than words could ever express. God knows how much I’m still in love with you. But I can’t do this anymore—I can’t keep hurting you. You deserve happiness, Zav. You deserve all the love in the world. "

Her voice faltered as the sobs clawed their way to the surface. "And I can’t give that to you right now. I can’t give you what you deserve when I’m this…broken. I need to leave. I need to find myself again. I need to heal. Because right now, all I have to offer is pain, and you deserve so much more than that."

Alastair’s breath hitched as her words grew heavier. "Ubos na ubos na ako, Zaviya. I’m drained. But don’t misunderstand—I don’t blame you for this. Loving you has been the greatest feeling I’ve ever known. You’re my brightest star, Zaviya. You’re my light… but also my greatest fall." Her voice cracked on the last word, and a tear slid down her cheek as if it carried the entirety of her grief.

Zaviya shook her head violently, her sobs wracking her body like waves crashing against the shore. "I don’t want freedom!" she cried, her voice raw and desperate. "I want you, Alastair. I don’t care how broken we are. I don’t care how long it takes—I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait forever if I have to. Just don’t leave me."

But Alastair could only shake her head, her resolve crumbling but holding firm. "Zavi… I love you. I love you more than I can ever explain," she whispered, her voice trembling. "But I’ve learned that real love—true love—sometimes means letting go, even when it feels like it’s killing you. I’m not the right person for you anymore. I’ve destroyed us too much, shattered our dreams, our family. And I can’t bear to keep breaking you."

She swallowed hard, her tears falling faster now, mingling with Zaviya’s. "Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for someone you love… is to let them go. To give them a chance to heal, to find joy, even if it’s not with you." Her voice broke entirely as she whispered her final words.

Zaviya's voice cracked under the unbearable weight of her anguish, her trembling hands clenched into fists at her sides. “Is leaving me—walking away—going to make you okay, Alastair? Will it make you happy?”

Alastair shook her head, tears cascading down her cheeks like a river breaking free. Her voice wavered, raw with guilt and sorrow. “I don’t know, Zavi. I don’t know if this is the right choice, but I need to try. And I’m so, so sorry that it has to end this way. If I could take away all the pain, I would—God, I would. I’m sorry. I am leaving not because I want to, but because I know my absence will give you the life and freedom you truly deserve.

The words tore through Zaviya’s chest like jagged glass, but she summoned every ounce of strength she had left. Her voice wavered, but it didn’t break. “It’s okay, Alastair. Kahit masakit... kahit nakakadurog, uunawain ko. Pero…” She inhaled sharply, her chest rising and falling as though trying to breathe through the shards of her broken heart. “I’ll wait for you. Kahit gano katagal, kahit gano kahirap. Take all the time you need to heal. I’m here, Alastair. I’m not running. I’m waiting for you.”

Alastair’s knees nearly gave out at those words. She shook her head furiously, her tears falling harder as her chest heaved with the weight of her love and regret. “Don’t wait for me, Zavi. Please… don’t do this to yourself. I don’t know if I’ll ever come back—if I’ll ever find the pieces of myself that are missing. And if someone enters your life who makes you smile, who makes you happy, don’t stop yourself because of me. You deserve so much more than this… than me.”

“No!” Zaviya’s voice cracked, trembling yet fierce, as tears cascaded down her cheeks. Her chest heaved with every breath, her defiance blazing through the pain etched on her face. “I’ll wait for you, Alastair. Kahit gaano katagal, kahit gaano kasakit—I'll wait. When you’re ready, when you’ve healed, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here. Sana kapag okay na, pwede pa. Pwede pa tayo, Alastair. Please…”

Her words hung in the air, trembling like a fragile thread ready to snap. But Alastair could only shake her head, her own tears falling freely like no ending, her shoulders sagging under the weight of the moment.

“Zavi, I can’t promise anything,” Alastair’s voice cracked, her resolve faltering as the anguish clawed at her heart. “Let’s go back to being strangers, but this time... strangers with memories. You’ll always be my favorite ‘once upon a time,’ but I'm accepting the fact now that you're never my happy ending.”

Zaviya’s knees nearly buckled at the words, but she held herself upright, her lips quivering as she clung desperately to the fleeting hope between them.

Alastair’s voice wavered, raw and unsteady. “May mga bagay talaga na kahit gaano natin kagusto, kahit gaano natin pinilit, hindi talaga para sa atin. Zaviya, I’m so, so sorry... I can’t save us.”

The silence that followed was deafening. “I’ll wait,” she whispered into the emptiness Alastair left behind. “Kahit na masakit, kahit walang kasiguraduhan—I’ll wait.”

Their final embrace felt like the breaking of worlds, a devastating symphony of love and loss. Alastair clung to Zaviya, her fingers trembling as they threaded through her hair, as though memorizing every detail for the last time. Their kiss was tender but laced with the kind of heartbreak that lingers forever—a goodbye disguised as love, whispered through trembling lips.

The golden afternoon sunlight spilled into the room, its warmth a cruel contrast to the coldness spreading through them. Alastair pulled away, just a step, her hand dropping to her side as if letting go of Zaviya was an act of sheer will. Her wedding band sat cold and heavy in her palm. She gazed at it for a moment, her tears falling faster, before her voice broke into a fragile whisper. “I loved you, Zaviya. I loved you more than anything in this world. But I… I need to learn how to love myself too.”

Zaviya’s breath hitched as tears blurred her vision. She wanted to scream, to grab Alastair and tell her she could fix everything—that they could fix everything. But the words died in her throat, her sobs swallowing her voice, leaving her with nothing but silence and heartbreak.

Alastair lingered, her gaze flitting across the room they’d once filled with love, laughter, and dreams. Each memory clawed at her resolve, threatening to drag her back, but she forced herself to look away. She picked up her suitcase with trembling hands and turned toward the door. Every step felt like a knife to her soul, each one cutting deeper, each one a silent plea to stay. But she kept moving.

The sound of the door creaking open was deafening, a harbinger of finality that shattered Zaviya’s world. She stumbled forward as if to stop her, but her legs gave out. She collapsed to the floor, her sobs breaking free, raw and guttural, ripping through the air like thunder in the stillness. Her arms wrapped around herself, holding on to the pieces of her heart that were splintering with every step Alastair took.

Alastair didn’t dare look back. She couldn’t. The tears blurred her vision, but the ache in her chest was far sharper than anything she’d ever known. Each step away from Zaviya felt like walking through fire, her heart shattering with every inch of distance. The echo of Zaviya’s cries filled the space, reverberating in her ears like a haunting melody she would carry forever.

And when Alastair stepped out into the world, alone and broken, she felt the fragments of her love for Zaviya scatter behind her like ashes. Inside, Zaviya’s grief thundered through the empty room, a storm that would rage long after Alastair was gone.

And yet, as Alastair walked away, she knew one truth would follow her for the rest of her life: she had left the greatest part of herself behind.

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#ABF 48