chapter 17

Chapter 17.

Tomorrow morning.

SuA opened her eyes and woke up, the sunlight from outside the window into the bedroom looked so dreamy. She had had a chaotic evening, feeling both bewildered and satisfied, ending with Seulgi hugging her to sleep from behind.

It's crazy, she needs to talk to Seulgi to clear things up, she can't let her emotions get unstable like that.

SuA turned around and saw that the bed beside her was empty, she put on a loose dress and walked out of the room. SuA heard Seulgi talking on the phone with someone.

- You contact director Baek, by all means don't let that role into Wendy's hands.

“…………”

- How is Irene? How has she been lately?

“……………………..”

- Then go buy some medicine and give it to her, Wendy is busy and doesn't have time to take care of her. Tell Irene to wait, I'll call her when I'm done.

Seulgi hung up the phone and turned around to see SuA leaning against the bedroom door.

- Good morning - Seulgi smiled.

- Good morning - SuA smiled faintly and sat down on the chair.

- What do you want to eat? I'll have breakfast with you and then go to the airport – Seulgi rummaged in the kitchen.

- Seulgi, can we talk for a bit? – SuA timidly asked.

- Okay - Seulgi approached and sat next to SuA.

- We… what's between us? – SuA slowly asked.

She doesn't like an ambiguous relationship, based on Seulgi's recent call and Siyeon's words, she can be sure that Seulgi still can't get over the ex, but why did Seulgi approach her and have sex with her lastnight?

Seulgi was silent for a moment and then spoke.

- SuA, you're the one I want to take care of, that's all.

- We obviously went overboard last night - SuA couldn't be satisfied with Seulgi's superficial answer.

- If you don't like it, I won't do it anymore - Seulgi said softly as if it was nothing, making the people next to her feel uncomfortable.

- Seulgi-sshi, what do you think of me? a puppet that you can control however you like?

Seulgi said nothing more, sighed and took her bag out of the house, not answering SuA.

SuA relaxed into the chair, a feeling of disappointment mixed with frustration welled up in her heart.

- It's so toxic.

SuA took her phone to contact Park Jihyo, she needed to find another house to live in, she couldn't stay here anymore.

SuA spent a gloomy day hanging around the house. She showers, cooks, cleans, turns on her laptop to work, then watches TV and listens to music. With this alone time, she thought a lot, she didn't understand why she kept sucking such toxic people around, it made her emotions unstable and she fell into the trap again.

She feels that being alone is good, she feels peaceful, just her and Gahyeon, that's enough to be happy.

Sometimes she lay in bed and talked to herself, actually talking to Gahyeon, when she was able to speak out so freely her spirit was better.

- Gahyeonie, why do I always encounter toxic people like that?

………….

- I will never be like that again, I will not trust anyone so easily again.

……………………

- My love will only be for Gahyeonie, I won't love anyone anymore, I only love you.

…………………….

- I can't wait to meet you, you must be a very beautiful and lovely girl, I believe so, maybe you are also an active baby, I can feel you kicking me quite a lot.

…………..

- Good night Gahyeonie.

----

The next day, the sun was very high, SuA was still fast asleep, yesterday she slept a bit late because she was busy watching a drama. She had plowed a 16-episode drama so she probably fell asleep around 3 o'clock at night on the sofa.

This sofa is quite large so sleeping also brings a feeling of comfort. Suddenly there was a doorbell that woke SuA, she opened her eyes and saw that the TV was still on because she didn't turn it off last night.

SuA got up, put on a thin shirt and went to open the door, she didn't know who would come to her house at this hour, or was Seulgi back?

The door opened, Lee Siyeon's figure appeared. SuA was surprised and subconsciously rubbed her sleepy eyes.

- Baby are you sleeping? – Siyeon tries to calm down to talk, she is still angry and jealous in her heart but if she is grumpy with SuA, it will be ruined.

- What's the matter, why are you here?

- You slept with Seulgi?

- No, I'm home alone - SuA quickly explained, forgetting to call Siyeon again after spending the night with Seulgi.

Siyeon took a deep breath and said.

- Baby, I've already arranged everything, I've rented a house, it’s also just one street away, I also rent a car to travel, I stop all work to spend all my time taking care of you and Gahyeon.

- ……………………

- Can you move in with me?

- Okay - SuA answered without hesitation, her speed surprised the other.

- If you feel shy about Seulgi, I will talk to her.

- No need, Seulgi has nothing to do with us anymore - SuA said firmly.

- Oh….then……now let's pack up and move – Siyeon's words received a nod from SuA.

Siyeon unconsciously smiled happily, she had been waiting for this day for a long time. Suddenly, SuA is very easygoing, maybe because SuA is sleepy. Siyeon quickly went into the house, SuA brought Siyeon into the room so that Siyeon helped the pack.

Siyeon automatically did everything, SuA just sat on the bed and waited. While looking at Siyeon who was putting her things and clothes in the luggage, SuA pursed her lips thinking she wanted to say something, she hesitated for a few minutes before saying it.

- The last call, I'm sorry.

- ………….

- It was just… an accident – SuA hesitantly explained, Siyeon once said that the sleeping with someone else was an accident, so she can also say that the night with Seulgi was an accident….?

- I have no right to blame you at all, you are not at fault - Siyeon said while manipulating the zipper of the suitcase.

Finished, she walked in front of SuA, put her hands on the sides of the bed, and looked down at SuA full of affection.

SuA waited breathlessly, every time she got close to Siyeon at this distance, she couldn't help but feel nervous. Even though there was no mirror here, her face was definitely as red as a tomato. 10 months ago on her first date with Siyeon, she was blushing because of Siyeon’s metaphorical flirting words, now she still blushes like that.

- The only thing I care about right now is you and the baby.

- …………………….. – SuA's heart was pounding.

- No matter how badly you treat me, I don't care, how much pain and loneliness you make me, I don't care, what I care about is being with you and taking care of you, just that.

- …………………….

- Any other furniture?

SuA avoids Siyeon's eyes to avoid nervousness, looks around, looks left and then right.

- No….it's done.

- Well…let's go - Siyeon kissed SuA on the lips and then gradually brought 4 big suitcases out of the house, laughing at herself because of the other person's lovely face. Her frustration still remained, but she decided to deal with it herself. SuA is looking very positive, she can't reveal anything negative to SuA.

SuA's belongings are very much, after putting all the suitcases in the car, Siyeon feels unsatisfied when thinking about the prospect of SuA coming to America alone, carrying her pregnant belly to fly so far and then adding a bunch this heavy baggage.

Guilt welled up inside Siyeon, she made SuA suffer both mentally and physically, she was such a toxic person.

Siyeon opened the door to bring SuA into the car, she pressed the accelerator to drive away, holding the steering wheel in one hand, and holding SuA's hand in the other.

SuA was surprised to see Siyeon's actions but did not dare to protest.

After only 15 minutes to arrive, Siyeon rented a house very close to Seulgi's house.

SuA entered the house, the house has a total of 4 rooms, 2 bedrooms, a kitchen and a living room that connect to create a large space.

- I made a 5-month rental contract, after Gahyeon was born, we rest for a few weeks and then return to Korea - Siyeon still held SuA's hand and presented.

- ……………………. – SuA listens to it, she will let Siyeon's words drift from one ear to the other, because her plan is not like that, she doesn't want to return to Korea so soon.

- I'm selling my house in Seoul and will be looking for a bigger house to buy because we need an extra room for Gahyeon when we get back.

- …………………….

- Baby, I'm so excited for our upcoming plans. We will take care of Gahyeon, raise her well, become hardworking and caring mothers, our family will always be filled with laughter and happiness, right? – Siyeon looked at SuA gently, one hand holding her hand and gently rubbing the back of her hand, one hand touching her belly tenderly.

SuA avoids Siyeon's eyes, she doesn't want to brusquely say no, she chooses to be silent because what Siyeon wants is not what she wants.

Siyeon waited for SuA's reaction but the other looked expressionless. She sighed inwardly, maybe SuA needed time, or maybe the pregnancy made SuA tired, she couldn't pressure SuA. It's good that SuA accepts to live in the same house with her, she just needs to simplify her wishes.

Siyeon put SuA on a chair to rest and then she began to arrange both of their belongings neatly, she rented a house with full furniture, just walk in and live, there is a room that will belong to Gahyeon and it currently only has one bed and one wardrobe, she needs to buy more things to redecorate the room.

While Siyeon was packing, SuA texted Seulgi to tell Seulgi that she was leaving somewhere else.

SuA had a glimmer of hope in her heart that Seulgi had something to do with her, because Seulgi is been treating her so well for the past two months, making her feel good. But in the end Seulgi just sees her as a mere satisfying tool, which doesn't make her miserable but makes her extremely angry. The feeling of being underestimated by someone, it touched SuA's high self-esteem, she felt that this relationship was extremely toxic.

Siyeon finished everything then went to order food, she and SuA had lunch together and then went to the shopping mall to buy things for Gahyeon.

For the past few months, SuA has only stayed at home to relax and work remotely, but she has not done the shopping for Gahyeon from clothes to cribs. She just thought about and searched for everything on the internet, and the one who took the initiative to start doing this was Siyeon.

Siyeon clasped SuA's hand and walk around the corner of the mall, buying a lot of clothes for the baby, buying diapers, buying cribs, buying strollers. For light goods, they should be placed in the trunk of the car to be transported, and for heavy goods, they will have to be ordered a transportation service.

Siyeon even ordered some things to prepare for the birth, including hoods, socks and stockings, baby wraps, milk towels, and bath towels. SuA wasn't very familiar with these matters, she didn't understand why Siyeon seemed so knowledgeable about childbirth, she asked Siyeon curiously.

- I've been looking for these since we went to the artificial insemination hospital - Siyeon said as she scrolled through her phone looking for a cute hood for Gahyeon.

When going to the hospital, Dr. Choi said to just let the spirit be at ease, don't expect too much and don't be too hopeless, because this method of implantation has a low success rate. So SuA didn't think anything of it, and Siyeon seemed pretty sure she was going to get pregnant and have a baby, that's why Siyeon planned to do some research.

And God seems to love Siyeon very much, whatever she wants came true, SuA successfully became pregnant in just the first time of artificial insemination.

SuA closed her mouth to ignore Siyeon, she continued to stare at the TV watching a reality show that was playing on it. The fact that Siyeon gets what Siyeon wants, makes SuA feel uncomfortable, she must be jealous, she still can't forget the image of the little girl Wonyoung hugging Siyeon and talking about the night the two of them sleep together.

She inferred that scenario herself, and then she felt herself having a headache, then she was annoyed for no reason, and then her tall ego rose and reminded her that she must not be soft or in love with anyone again.

She loves Gahyeon very much, she is eager to meet this lovely baby, but because she is angry with Siyeon, sometimes she still has the thought that if Gahyeon does not exist.

Her feelings are extremely confusing, and then she reassures herself that to love what she has, Gahyeon exists and she must be grateful for the baby's appearance. She knows that what she thinks, Gahyeon can feel it all, she can't pour negativity on her daughter.

Her spirit was always hot and cold, SuA also felt tired with herself.

- What are you thinking, baby? – Siyeon kissed SuA on the cheek and asked.

SuA woke up in a jumble of thoughts, she replied with a cold face.

- Just watch TV.

-Even though you're pregnant and gained a lot of weight, why do you still look so pretty?

- …………………… - SuA showed a nonchalant attitude, the toxic person Lee Siyeon wanted to flirt with her, she'd better avoid it.

- This round face, it looks so cute - Siyeon hugged SuA's cheek, turning SuA's face to the side so that the two of them could face each other.

Siyeon was just waiting for that, kissing SuA all over the face, making the other wince slightly, tired of kissing. Siyeon leaned her head on SuA's shoulder, her face pressed close to SuA’s white neck, one hand wrapped around SuA's belly, the other hugged SuA's arm.

- Very comfortable.

- …………………….

- It's been a long time since I've had this feeling, the feeling that I don't have to worry about anything anymore, no work pressure, no pressure about relationships, just me and you, and Gahyeonie.

- ………….

- My work has been rushed and has been running non-stop since I entered SM to work. If there is a break, it is only a very short break, not enough time to enjoy. This is the first time I've been away from work for so long.

- ……………………

- I think the next 5 months will be the happiest 5 months of my life.

- …………………… - SuA was still listening attentively, the sound of Siyeon's breathing on her neck made her feel comfortable.

- SuA baby, I love you so much.

- ……………………

- We have met for 10 months, before meeting you, my life was very peaceful, but after meeting you, I experienced a series of diverse emotions, happiness, pain, even sadness when I felt exhausted and wanted to pass out, but I never regretted going through those things.

- ……………………..

- I've regretted many things, done many things wrong, but loving you is the most righteous thing I've ever done, I've never regretted it.

SuA silently listened to every word Siyeon said, something inside her felt a flutter, she subconsciously leaned her cheek against Siyeon's head on her shoulder.

She insisted on coming to the US to stay because she wanted to prevent Siyeon from contacting her and the baby, but in the end Siyeon was sitting beside her and not leaving half a step. She thought Siyeon wouldn't be able to arrange the work so she said something like "come here if you want to meet Gahyeon", and then Siyeon quit the job and came to live with her for a few months.

She didn't think Siyeon loved her that much, she still doubted it at times.

She also doesn't know if she still loves Siyeon or not, every time she thinks of Siyeon, she always has conflicting emotions, they fight inside her......

Right now SuA didn't know how to deal with the kind of feelings that were going on inside of her.

End chapter 17.