Chapter 9: in every bad is something good ✨

writers POV:

Harry nods and Ron, Hermione and Drarry leave the room of requirements.

Draco POV:

As we leave the room of requirements, me holding Harry's hand, I keep feeling the judging faces of Weaslebee and Granger on me, so I ask them:"what do you wanna know?"Harry looks at me confused and Hermione asks:"what?"Now we stopped walking and Ron just looks at me confused as does Harry and now Hermione expects an answer from me:"you heard me, what do you wanna know? I know you wanna have information about me and Harry so what exactly?""Draco that's not-""yes Harry it is, let's just see what they wanna know": I interrupt him.Hermione then says after whispering with Ron:"What is this between you two? why did y'all spend so much time together lately?""First of all-": Harry starts: "-we don't really now and-"I can see that he's struggling to find something to say about her second question so I say:"we didn't spend that much time together and just like Harry said we don't know what that is either, we're confused. At least I am and if you have a problem with us spending time together then I don't know""ok uhmm we don't have a problem with that, right Ron?""right!". You can clearly hear that he's annoyed."So, what I was gonna say is that we're just worried about you,Harry. What's wrong? You've been so distant lately"Now she turns to Harry and considering him squeezing my hand, I know that he's uncomfortable with her asking. He tries to find something to say and instead of telling them the truth like he told me, he simply says:"I'm fine, Hermione. Don't worry"It's sounds so convincing and they are convinced cause they nod and leave. I know it's hard to talk about stuff like self harm and all but he lies so good, that's not good. He can convince his best friends by simply telling them that he's ok, even though he's clearly not ok. Even I can see that now.We stand there in the corridor a bit after his friends left. Then I ask Harry:"How come they are convinced so easily?""I don't know, they just trust me I guess""But that's not good, even I can see that you're not fine now. Fine is never really fine""I guess but did you knew that I wasn't fine before I told you all of that?""No not really. You always looked so happy and nice like everything is ok""exactly, I'm not fine you're right. But if someone asks me what's wrong I can't say that it is everything cause then they're gonna ask what exactly and I don't have an answer for that. I can't just say: yeah hi uhmm life. It's hard""I know, all my life I've been hiding my feelings because my father didn't allow me to show them, so I build a mask for everyone.""mhm, I guess we're both not so fine like we seem""yeah"We go into the great hall and sit down in front of Hermione and Ron. They look at us..not normal but not as judging as they did in the corridor. So that's progress. There is like no one in the great hall except from a few first years, cause well dinner is not for another hour. So we're almost alone. Hermione and Ron talk about something stupid and Harry leans against my shoulder.After a few minutes, I see Blaise coming in. He looks at me and Harry, who's now sleeping on my shoulder. He walks over to us, sits down and whispers into my ear:"you're making progress, Dray"I just punch him at the arm and now Hermione and Ron's attention is on us. Hermione says:"why did you punch him?""because I can, that's none of your business"She rolls her eyes and goes back to talking to Ron. Harry is still sleeping, now with my arm around him, which is kinda impressive. Blaise talks to me about something stupid, I don't really pay attention. Then Harry wakes up again. He looks at me with sleepy eyes and says:"hey Dray""Uhmm hi"That was confusing but sweet, he has a nickname for me. Blaise looks at me and I can guess that he's going to talk about that later. Hermione and Ron just look at us confused and Harry says:"What?": after sitting up."Nothing, nothing": Ron says. They both look confused as they leave the great hall. Harry looks after them and then back to me where he now sees Blaise:"oh hi Blaise""hey Harry, did you sleep good?""yeah, yeah uhmm Draco can we talk?"Well that can't mean any good. I mean last time he asked if we could talk we had amazing sex soo..."yeah sure. Where?""in your room?! In mine is Ron with Hermione so..""yeah of course": I say while we both stand up. Blaise leaves too but goes into a different direction as we get into the corridor. Harry and I continue our way going to my room.As we enter the room, Harry sits down on my bed. He looks panicked but why?I go to him stand in front of him and grab his hands, asking:"what's wrong?""I-I don't know.. I-I uhmm *he breathes heavily* can't breathe""I see that come breathe with me"I wanna get him to breathe with me but he just shakes his head and says out of breath:"No no just.... stay.... with.... me..."His breath got less and less during this sentence and at the end he seemed like he's gonna pass out any second. He looks at me scared like he's about to die and uses his last breath to say:"Stay... with..." then he passes out, in front of me. And I don't know what to do. I shake him and try to wake him up. Thankfully he does wake up. Harry looks around confused then at me and asks:"what...what happened?""you..uhmm passed out""oh"He turns away like he knows the reason why he passed out. And then I remember what he told me when we were on the Astronomy tower. ("I can't even eat like a normal person anymore.") So I slowly turn his head to me and start to talk:"Harry when was the last time you ate?"He looks down and says quietly:"I don't know"I turn his head back to me and ask:"what do you mean?""I mean that *he stands up* I don't fucking know when the last time was. I didn't eat in like I don't know two days. *he gets angry* I just can't eat...I can't"Throughout the sentence his voice gets quieter and after it he sits back down on the bed. I sit down next to him and say:"you're gonna eat something right now. You're starving yourself Harry""I can't Draco, I just-I can't" His eyes start to tear up."Harry, you have to or else you're gonna die""but-but...""No buts Harry we're gonna get you something to eat now"I stand up, grab his hand and we go in the corridor, to the great hall.

Dinner started and Harry and I sit down at the Slytherin table. It is weird for him, I can see it but I thought it might be better if he's away from his so called best friends. I mean they don't know about anything of what he told me and if they see him struggle to eat now, they would ask questions. Which would make him more anxious about eating. So I decided that we eat at the Slytherin table. The food is served and Harry just stares at his. I touch him a bit and say:"Harry you have to eat something""I can't, I told you I can't""Ok we make a deal""what is it""For every bite you eat, you'll get a kiss Deal?"I hold my hand out to him and he sighs and shakes it.He starts to eat, with hesitation but he eats. So that's good. I eat too and after about 20 minutes Harry and I both finished our food. I look at him, smiling, and say:"Well done Harry""mhm... it was hard though""I know but if you keep going like this the next days, it will get easier and now let's go to my room""ok but first I gotta talk to Ron and Hermione. I have to tell them at least the eating thing.""ok do you.. want me to come with you or...""no I can do it, just go to your room""ok see you later""bye".Harry leaves and goes after his friends. I go to my room thinking about the fact that Harry doesn't want me to come with him. I mean I get it those are his friends but what if they trigger something, what if he's just lying to them again? They are convinced so easily and Hermione is going to ask him a lot about why or how or if anything else is wrong. He can't talk to them about it without getting anxious. But I trust him, I'm just gonna get in my room and wait for him. I'm in my room now and just sit down on my bed, staring at the wall, waiting for Harry.

Harry POV:I told Draco I would tell my friends about the eating thing. But how and what am I gonna say to them. I'm just gonna go straight forward and be honest. Just calm down Harry, you can do that. I enter the Gryffindor common room where Ron and Hermione are already waiting for me. You can do it Harry, it's ok..."Hey guys""hey Harry we have to talk": Hermione says.Great start so far."yeah I know"We sit down on the sofa in front of the fireplace and I start to talk:"So you already know that I'm in love with Draco and all. Obviously. gosh I'm nervous.""why are you nervous?""no reason. Anyway what did you two want to talk about?""ok umm first of all we support you and Draco, I mean at least I do. Ron is still not fully convinced but he'll get there. Right? *Ron nods*  Where was I right um Draco and you have been spending a lot of time together and it seems like you're distancing yourself from me and Ron. I mean I get it that you're not always hanging around with us when you like Draco. But why are you distancing yourself from us?""umm well thank you uhh I-I wasn't trying to distance myself from you two. It's just that there's a lot of stuff in my life you don't know about and I'm not ready to talk about it just yet."Hermione and Ron nod but I feel anger and sadness at the same time like I'm not angry at them, I'm angry at me. I don't know why but I just am."Harry, we understand you're struggling but why can you talk with Malfoy about it and not with us?": Ron asks annoyed."Because Ron, Malfoy understands it, you wouldn't *I get more and more angry*. I'm sorry but it's just the way it is. I can't change the fucking fact that you two don't understand everything I've been going through in my life. Malfoy does"I stand up from the sofa and now stand in front of Ron and Hermione "Harry calm down, We're just here to talk""No Hermione I'm not gonna calm down. You know I've been trying really hard to like not think about everything too much, to just accept the fact that you two got a happy ever after and I didn't. Now I finally have someone to talk about all this shit and you two are annoyed that I don't talk to you. I'm fucking sorry ok? I know I'm not the perfect friend who's always supportive and happy."I get more and more angry and now Ron and Hermione stand up too. Ron gets angry too and says:"Ok Harry fine, we're not perfect either ok? And if you'd rather talk to fucking Malfoy about you life then so be it, I don't fucking care""Guys calm down, we're just here to talk not to fight""Shut it Hermione, if Ron wants to fight just because I'm not as close to you two then so be it""Harry stop it, we're not here to fight. I understand you're going through something, I get it but that is no excuse to treat us like shit. We were always around when you needed help and now you treat us like this""Sorry Hermione but I just can't anymore, I tried to end it believe me, more than once. But Draco was there to help me get through it and now he's still here""Wait Harry what do you mean you tried to end it. Did you try to kill yourself?"Fuck I shouldn't have said that."Ron you can't ask stuff like that"She's right he can't, it is stupid but he did."I'm sorry guys but I have to go, I can't deal with this now"I leave, Hermione tries to stop me by saying:"Harry wait"But I just go, I go to Draco. He's the only one who understands it. Maybe Hermione and Ron do too but they don't show it.As I walk to the Slytherin common room, I start to cry. Maybe out of frustration. Maybe because I just stormed out like that or maybe because I'm a horrible friend. I get to the wall where Blaise is coming out of, I say hello and get inside. I walk to Draco's room and knock on the door. Draco opens the door and sees that I've been crying, obviously. He asks:"what's wrong Harry?""everything"We get inside and sit down in his bed when Draco asks:"how did it go with Ron and Hermione?""horrible, I couldn't tell them""that's ok, but why did you cry""because I'm a  horrible person, I shouted at them just because they wouldn't understand me""hey, hey you're not a horrible person Harry. Come here"He gestures a hug and we cuddle on his bed. After a few minutes I say:"when do I get my price for eating dinner?"Draco looks at me surprised and says:"whenever you want""Now?!""sure"

Next thing I know is Draco kissing me. I enjoy it really but we have to stop cause we can't breathe. We always stop because of that. Draco uses the pause to say:"you know I love you and all but you're bottom not me"With that saying he turns us around and I lay underneath him. His hands next to my head like last time. I look at him kinda surprised and say:"aha and who exactly made that decision?""I did and you like it so""ok fine"And he's kissing me again, this kiss gets more and more intense as we go. After a few moments of kissing and stopping and kissing again he kisses my neck. The same part of it like last time, I'm probably gonna have a huge hickey afterwards again. He continues kissing my neck and starts to touch my chest with his hand. Then he gets rid of my shirt with one simple move and kisses my chest. It feels amazing. Every single part of my body he touches feels like it's on fire but good. Soon after that he gets rid of his shirt and mine and his jeans. Now I'm underneath him,just in boxers and he's over me also just in boxers. That's a kinda hot view, seeing him like that. He continues to kiss down to my V-line where he stops for a second. Which makes me looks at him annoyed, he smiles to himself and continues. He then gets rid of mine and his boxers and starts to touch my erection with his hand. Looking at Draco while he's touching my penis, is just- it makes me want to feel him even more. It's like Draco can read my mind because he slowly inserts the first finger in my hole which is painful at first, but that feeling doesn't last long. Instead I wanna feel even more and more as he starts to move. I can feel him looking at me even though my head is in my neck. It just feels incredible and I want more and he knows that. He then uses the second and third finger to widen my hole and after a few minutes of moaning and telling him he has to do it know, he switches his fingers with his own penis. That move is painful but incredible as he moves up and down inside of me. I start to moan over and over again which makes Draco moan too. He then uses one hand to touch my penis again and while doing that, I come inside his hand which makes him come inside of me. He kisses me again and then slowly removes his penis from me.

Draco lays next to me, probably more exhausted than I am, breathing like crazy. I do too to be honest. That was exhausting and also incredible. After a few minutes of just laying there, Draco says:"So, are you feeling better now?""yeah much better but we should get dressed""right": with that saying he grabs his wand and says two spells to clean and get us dressed. He lays back down next to me and starts to talk again:"Harry?""mhm?""what happened before you came over?""what do you mean?"I know what he means, he means me crying before coming here and he wants to know why?"you know what I mean Harry don't play dumb"I'm telling you, he can read my mind."Fine...uhm I wanted to talk to Ron and Hermione, you know, about the eating thing and Hermione kept asking me why I distance myself from them or Ron asked why I can talk to you about it and not to them. And just the situation, their questions and all made me nervous and angry and I just stormed out of there before they could even say anything about it""wow uhmm I suspected that you wouldn't be able to talk to them about it, that's why I asked you if I should come with you""yeah that would have been better but it's over now, I mean not completely I was still behaving like a complete dick and I'm probably gonna have to talk to them about it tomorrow but it's gonna be fine, Hopefully""yeah hopefully"We just continue to lay there, my head on Dracos chest, in silence until Draco breaks that silence:"So Harry what is this now?""what is what?""us, we had amazing sex twice, kissed after lessons in corridors and now?""Oh yeah no idea""same but we have to talk about it""you're right umm...""stop thinking like that I already have something to say""oh ok say it"We sit up and Draco says:"Do you wanna be my official boyfriend, Harry Potter?"it takes me by surprise but obviously I wanna be his boyfriend, I mean why not.."yes obviously"I see Draco's happy face before he kisses me in joy."but you have to take me out on a date first""aha now you're the one having a condition""yes, Draco I am but we should go to sleep we have to redo the potion tomorrow""yeah, good night Harry""good night Draco"We go to sleep, my head still laying on Dracos chest.