Chapter 79

Katniss

"We're all alone, watching shadows on the ceiling. I've gone numb but I can't forget the feeling." -We The Kings

I bolt upright, gasping. The pain stops for a minute. Peeta, who stirred a little bit but never fully woke up, sleeps peacefully again. I take a couple of deep breaths and push my hair back from my face. I feel better, just a little shaky. I'm just about to lay back down when it hits me again.

The pain is indescribable. I've felt some serious pain, but this... It's different. I don't know what else to do but wake Peeta up.His eyes fly open at my touch."Are you okay? Are you okay?" He asks."I'm okay. It hurts really--" I say, getting cut off by the immense pain once again. It lasts for 15 seconds this time. When it finally ends, I finish my sentence."--Bad." I finish.

"Oh my God. What time is it?" He asks frantically."It's almost 3AM." I reply."We need to go to the hospital." "No. It's okay, Peeta, it can wait until morning." I try to reassure him."No! It can't wait until morning, we're going now. Let me help you get dressed." He says.

I reluctantly oblige, letting him dress me while I braid my hair shakily.I feel the color drain from my face as I sit in the bed. The pain tears through my body."Shit!" I say. "We're going. Now. It can't wait." Peeta says.

The trip to the hospital was long. I don't remember much, just pain.I'm so tired by the time we arrive, Peeta's practically carrying me."We need a doctor." Peeta says as soon as someone can hear.A nurse from the triage desk rushes over, and seeing my bulging stomach, tells someone to fetch a wheelchair.

Peeta helps me sit down and the extreme pain envelopes me again."Who's her doctor? Like, her normal one and her OB/GYN?" The nurse asks Peeta seriously."Doctor Wilson is her normal one. And the other... It's Doctor Lucia." He answers.

"Wilson's not here. He's not on-call tonight either. Lucia's here, though. I'll have your wife admitted as soon as I can." The nurse explains."Someone...help." I manage to croak out through the pain.The nurse crouches down to my level."We're getting a room ready for you as fast as possible, Mrs. Mellark." She says.

Peeta puts his hand in mine."Squeeze when it gets rough." He says.I don't hesitate to do so.

--

A half hour later, I'm fully admitted. The pain happens more frequently now. Doctor Lucia walks into the hospital room looking tired but alert.

"Can you describe the pain for me?" She asks."It hurts. Really bad. And it comes from where the baby is." I say."It is your due date. Did your water break?" She asks.I feel the color draining from my face."Katniss? Did your water break?" She asks seriously.

I nod, almost undetectable."It did? When?!" Peeta asks, "You didn't tell me?!" "I didn't know!" I argue back.Lucia places a hand on Peeta's shoulder."Sometimes it's hard to tell if it was actually your water breaking. It's not uncommon for women to think they've simply wet their pants." She explains calmly.

Peeta, who looks as pale as I probably do, nods."So," Lucia smiles, "Looks like Willow will be making an appearance sometime in the near future." "Please, I need to get this over with. Can't we just do this now?" I ask."Oh, no, Katniss. That's not how it works. You need to be at least 10 centimeters dilated." She replies.

After a quite uncomfortable examination, she determines I'm only at 3.It's going to be a long, long day. "Can I please have some medicine for this pain? Don't you do that?" I ask."Yes, we can give you an Epidural injection in a moment." "Please, feel free to hurry." I say.

--

"What time is it?" I groan."9am, sweetie." Peeta replies."It's been 6 hours... I can't do this any longer." I say.A contraction rips through my body."Oh my God, it hurts so bad." I cry out.

I'm so tired. I just want to sleep, but with the contractions getting more frequent, it's impossible.

Peeta called Effie quite early this morning, who at first was upset to be woken but burst into tears at the news of Willow's coming. We left a message for Haymitch on his home phone, but he's probably too drunk to understand. Peeta called Johanna, but left 2 people for me to call when I was ready. My mother and Gale.

My mother hasn't spoken to me in 9 months. Gale... Who knows about Gale? After he freaked out, I never heard from him. But Peeta asked if I wanted to call them, and I said yes. It feels right to tell them, but I'm waiting until after this is over.

The room is silent except for the steady beating of the heart monitor and my occasional cries of pain.

"Can you turn the TV on?" I ask Peeta.He turns it on and puts it on the national news channel. Just like old times, seemingly ageless Caesar Flickerman remains the host.Peeta and I have tuned in just in time to hear about... Us.

"Folks, we have some exciting word! Now, you all know our 'Star Crossed Lovers' from District 12 are expecting..." He says.

I roll my eyes."They're still dragging out us being star crossed? Because we're not. At least not anymore." I say."Remember when he called us his 'Lethal Lovers'?" Peeta reminds me.I let out a little laugh. It feels nice to smile."Oh my God. That was so stupid."

Caesar continues, "We have word that Katniss has been admitted to the hospital. Our sources say it's quite near to her due date, folks. Looks like a little Mellark is on the way... Boy or Girl? We don't know. There has been no statements made by the couple or anyone near to them."

His live studio audience makes a noise of discontentedness. "Yeah, I feel the same way." I groan. Peeta lets out a little laugh and I clench his hand in my grip as a contraction tears through me.

I need to call Gale. I remember Gale telling Peeta to let him know when Willow was coming. "I need to call Gale." I say softly.Peeta reluctantly nods and hands me the phone next to my hospital bed.

I fumble with the number buttons on it. Soon enough, I successfully dial the number Gale left for us.I hear the phone's ringing sound effect, letting me know it's calling the number."Hello?" His familiar voice answers sleepily on the other end. I find solace in his demeanor."Gale..." I start, my voice quiet.

"Katniss? Are you okay? Why isn't it your home number you're calling from?" He asks."Gale... I'm okay. At least, I think I am for now." I say."Where are you? You're not at home?" He asks."No, I'm not at home. I'm in the hospital right now." I say as calmly as I possibly can.

"Why are you in the hospital? Are you okay? Is everything okay?" He asks frantically."I'm here because--" I'm cut off by a contraction. I try to keep quiet, but I'm nearly positive he hears me cry out."Katniss?!" He exclaims on the other end."Sorry...sorry." I say softly."What is going on?" He asks, clearly upset.

"The baby's coming, that's all. I heard you tell Peeta you wanted to know when she came. She's coming now." I inform him concisely."Now? Like, right now?" He asks."Yeah, right as we speak she's practically killing me to come out." I reply.

He's still relatively distraught, but within 5 minutes we've both hung up.He understands what's happening, probably even better than I do, and he said he'd keep us in his thoughts. I thanked him before hanging up.

As I hang up, a contraction hits and the phone clatters to the floor.Peeta crouched down to pick it up."Are you going to call your mother?" He asks.I shake my head. "She clearly didn't want anything to do with this baby. She doesn't even know it's a girl." I answer.

"Are you sure? She's your only family left..." "She's not my family. She made that perfectly clear 9 months ago. She was supposed to love me no matter what. It's supposed to be unconditional and it's sure as hell not. So, no, I'm not calling her." I interrupt.He nods slightly."Besides," I say. "You two are my family."

We don't talk much for a while. It feels like years, but it's only been a few hours. The clock on the wall says 5:00 PM. Peeta offered me supper but I feel too bad for any food. I feel exhausted, all I want in the world right now is sleep, which is virtually impossible considering I'm in full-on labor.

I try to imagine my sister here beside me. I would feel less uncomfortable with her helping me through this than Doctor Lucia. She comes in for hourly checks to see how far along I am and when I can finally get her out.Sometimes, I feel the urge to push. Lucia warned me, though. She told me I couldn't do that until she specifically tells me to. I guess it can be dangerous.

This hour, when she comes in, she tells me I'm at 8 centimeters. "Soon." She says."Do you have any idea when?" I ask her desperately.She looks pitifully at me."I'm sorry. It depends on how much you progress. Sometimes, at this mark, it speeds up. For other women, sometimes it can plateau and progress hardly at all." She explains.

I groan, hoping that it'll speed up for me.

That's not what happens.

At 6, she returns with 3 nurses so she's prepared for me to be ready. I've no such luck. She informs me and Peeta that I've hardly progressed within the past hour and that she'll come back later, but she needs to talk to me first. She sighs heavily and ushers the nurses out of the room.

When she appears back at the side of my bed, she takes my pale hand into hers."Hurts, doesn't it?" She asks sadly.It's all I can do to nod my head."I've never... Never felt this before." I say."It's all worth it, though. There's nothing that can describe it, Katniss. Absolutely nothing. Holding your new child in your arms... It's incredible." She says, trying to give me something to keep me going.

I nod my head and stare up at the ceiling, mustering up all my strength."I just want to sleep." I say.

She looks at me pitifully and reminds us that she'll be back in an hour.

--

I yell in pain."Peeta, this is it!" I cry out.

6:30 PM. No progress, apparently."I'm so sorry, Katniss." He says tensely. He massages his hand that he had to pry from my grip. I certainly was cutting off his circulation, but for as much as I care at the moment, it doesn't matter. He offers his left hand to me.

--

At 11 o'clock I finally break. I begin to cry, which of course amplifies the pain I feel nearly constantly. By 9:00 I had gotten to 9 centimeters. I just needed one more. Lucia and the other nurses said that it would certainly happen by 10 o'clock. Well, guess what.

It's 11, and it's still not done yet. Every time a contraction tears through me I want to push so bad. I'm sure I've broken both of Peeta's hands from squeezing so hard.

Hot tears spill out of my eyes and down my face and I feel only weakness. I'm so tired, mentally and physically. All I want is sleep. All I want is a break. Just for a few minutes...

I breathe heavily and the pain starts to become overwhelming. This can't be normal. I know labor was supposed to be the worst pain anyone has ever felt, but my body is amplifying it. This isn't normal. Time seems to slow down and everything feels fuzzy, like that feeling when you pull apart a cotton ball.

My heart rate speeds up enough to scare Peeta and cause him to hit the Call button on my bed. He talks to me and I try to reply, but the words get caught in the cotton ball of a world around me. When I stop answering and my heart-rate gets dangerously high, Peeta hits the emergency button, not knowing what else to do.

Lucia and the nurses come running into the room. She grabs my hand and my eyes fly open, looking at her panickedly. My mouth opens and shuts numbly and I can only let out small cries of pain.

Peeta looks pale and I watch tears form in his blue eyes. I hear the nurses and Doctor Lucia talking rapidly all around me."We can't sedate her now. It's too late!" A nurse yells."She's going to go into a relapse if we don't do something!" Another argues.

Lucia, at the foot of the bed, yells something I barely catch."She's only at 9, but our only option is an emergency C-Section." Peeta looks panicked and I can tell he has millions of questions and worries, but they're already wheeling me out and putting a hair cover over my head to prep me for surgery.

The only way I can describe it is sensory overload. The pain is fiery and constant, the noises sparse and loud, my thoughts entirely too quick and cottony.

I feel my eyes drooping, maybe even rolling back in my head as they put me under.

Finally, finally, I feel nothing.

I hear one last thing as I plummet into a medically induced sleep. The voice is unfamiliar and feminine:

"When you wake up, it'll be over. It'll all be okay. Hang on there, Katniss. She'll be here soon. You're in good hands, girl, just keep fighting."