Chapter 31

"Ok, I have a joke," Harry says to me in an already giggly voice.

I hold my cell phone in one hand up to my ear and drive with the other. I speak into the phone with a smile on my face. I live for his cheesy jokes. "Ok, what?"

"Why does Santa have no kids?"

I'm already laughing. Santa is one of the cutest things I've heard him say since I met him. "Why?" I ask.

"Because he only comes once a year."

I let go of the steering wheel and cover my mouth. Holy crap, I was not expecting that.

"Oh my God, Harry." I hear him laughing a lot through the phone. I start to giggle with him. I know he only told me the joke to hear my reaction, and it's kind of funny. "You're nasty," I tell him, but he's still laughing.

I have to say, I am really glad we are back together. It has been the most fun with him since we cleared everything that was happening before. We almost never talk about it or about Zayn. It's been two weeks since I left Zayn that text, and he has not texted me, called me, or showed up randomly at my door yet. It's been pretty amazing. Everything looks okay right now.

"How much farther do you think you have?" Harry asks me.

"Probably another 10 minutes." I watch the rain fall onto the windshield. It's been so long since I've been with my whole family for Christmas. My brother Isaac moved to California, so I have not seen him in two and a half years. Plus I missed my sister Eve's 11th birthday this year because I had the flu, and my mom would kill me if I missed Christmas. So I'm going to stay with them for the week. While I'm with my family, Harry is going to visit his.

Today is the 21st. I won't be back home until the night of the 28th. I'm actually excited to see my family all together.

"Drive carefully. You know how you are," Harry mumbles.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. But just consider the fact that you're talking on the phone while driving in this storm."

I take the phone down from my ear and put it on speaker. "It's on speaker, Harry," I say.

"You just put it on speaker, didn't you?"

I scoff. "No."

"You can't even lie over the phone."

"I'm a great liar," I say proudly.

Too proudly. Silence rings on both ends of the line. Memories of all the times I've lied to him run through my mind. I hold my breath. I know he is remembering them all too.

Shit I'm an idiot. I shouldn't be bragging about being a great liar right after he forgave me for lying to him. And what is he supposed to say back to it? 'Yes you definitely are, I would've never caught you with Zayn if Louis didn't tell me' or 'No I knew you were a fucking whore'? I hear him take a breath.

"You can't even lie about being a good liar," he says, with a smile I can gladly hear.

I relax, but I'm still anxious to end our conversation. "Whatever," I say. "I have to go anyway, since it's so dangerous driving and talking on the phone."

"No, wait."

"Goodbye, Harry."

"Jessie."

The corner of my mouth raises as I hear his small panic. "What?"

"Have fun with your family," he says softly.

"You too, babe."

"And stay out of trouble, okay?"

My forehead wrinkles. "What do you mean?"

"I leave you alone for one minute, and you get into trouble. Just, don't do that this time."

I can tell this subject weighs on him a lot. I'm not bothered by him asking me to be careful, although he said it in a really condescending tone. And I seem to remember him saying that he wants to forget everything that happened, and bringing it up, doesn't count as forgetting it. But I respond favorably anyway, because I am trying hard to keep everything between us peaceful. We don't need another fight. "I'm going to be with my family. I won't be able to. Plus, I promise I won't."

"Don't," he says. "Ok. I'll call you later. Bye."

"Bye," I say back. I hang up my phone and continue to drive.

************

I walk inside my old home for the first time in forever. The entire house is decked with Christmas decorations, and I know it is all my mother's work. She lives for this holiday.

"Hey, guys," I say loud enough to echo through the entire house. I put my heavy suitcase on the floor, put my keys in my pocket and pace around, waiting for someone to show themselves.

I look at the photos by the front door. They're sweet. Most of them were back from when we were all living together. Wow we were ugly.

"Ew, it's you," a deep voice says. I turn my face to the unexpected sound. Isaac.

Holy shit this boy has changed.

"Look who's talking," I answer with disgust.

He smiles wide, his gorgeous smile, and opens his arms for a hug. I walk quickly to him and throw my arms around him. I don't know why, but since we've been so far apart for this time, I feel like we've grown closer.

He wraps his arms around me and I rest my head on his chest. "You've changed so much," I say. "You're an adult! What did California do to you?"

He looks so different. He has grown a few inches. He's lost his teenage look to him, and has developed muscle everywhere, destroying any trace of chubby boy fat he had the last time I saw him. And he's tan. Californian sun colored him two shades darker.

He laughs at my comment. Oh my god, even his laugh is different. He sounds so mature.

"I'm serious Isaac! You're so different!"

He lets go of me. "Mom told me you missed Eve's birthday."

I scowl. "So did you."

"I live in California."

"Well I was sick."

He rolls his eyes. "At least I skyped her. I didn't just send her a crummy card of money for her birthday."

I narrow my eyes."Fuck you."

"What was that?" I hear a judging voice from around the corner.

"Mom," I say, as I see her come into the living room.

"Hey, baby," she says in her soft voice. I go to hug her. She is still short and still soft and still adorable as she has always been. Her voice turns harsher as she speaks into my ear. "Ok now listen. You do anything that your sister wants while you're here. You forgot her birthday, and she was so disappointed-"

I step back from her. "I didn't forget, I was sick!"

"Whatever. Just, make it up to her, okay?" She looks at me with hopeful green eyes that shame me into listening to her.

"Okay," I say. I go and sit on the couch and watch the TV play the movie Frozen. My mom loved the movie so much I think she wants to make it a new holiday tradition.

I can hear footsteps upstairs and expect someone to come down soon.

"Jessie!" I hear the excited voice say. I look up to the top of the staircase, and there my sister Eve is.

"Hiya," I say with a smile. I get off the couch and meet her at the bottom of the stairs. She crashes into me with a hug. I hug her back after I regain my footing. She is 11 and a half, and taller and bigger than I remember her. I haven't seen her probably for a year. Maybe a little less.

"I haven't seen you in months!" She says. It comes out with excitement, but I feel horribly guilty anyway.

I frown. "I know, I'm sorry."

"It's ok. You're here now." Damn, I love my sister. She's so easygoing and really, she is a genius. "I have to introduce you to my friend. I don't think you've met her yet."

"Is she here?"

"Yeah. She's upstairs. I'll go get her."

She bounces upstairs with as much glee as I've always known her to have. I decide to wait down here for her friend because I hate stairs a lot. I walk back to the couch, and Isaac joins me, and I turn my attention to him.

"So do you have a girlfriend in California?" I ask him.

"Yeah." He smiles. "She's pretty cool."

I smirk. I can't believe how much he's changed. Three years ago, I never thought a girl would like him. He was such an annoying boy. But even just looking at him tells me how much he has matured. "You're so different. Remember how we used to fight? I thought you'd never leave home."

"And I thought you'd be single forever and buy 40 cats." I raise my eyebrows, and he laughs.

"I don't remember you saying that."

"Everybody thought it."

I scoff, only making him laugh even more. I give him the finger and go back to the movie.

"Do you have a boyfriend, anyways?" He asks a few moments later.

I look up to him and meet his curious eyes. I shyly smile. "I do."

He looks shocked. "You do?!" he exclaims.

"Don't sound so surprised." I start to blush, so I look at the ground. I know he's waiting for me to say more about this guy who somehow was tricked into dating me. "His name is Harry. He's my age. We've been together for six months. And for your information, he asked me out."

I glance at Isaac. He looks content. Funny. I remember how he was so cautious with Zayn when I was in high school, but now he's so calm. It's completely opposite. "You're pretty serious?" he asks me.

I shift in the chair. We were serious, sort of. But then I lied, and in truth, I am worried something is different with Harry now. I can sense he is more cautious, which I can understand, but it comes with feelings that he is willing to leave me for any mistake that I make.

"Is that a no?" I look up at Isaac who looks thoroughly puzzled, then I realize I am frowning, with a confused look as deep as his.

I take a breath. "It's not a no, it's just, a lot of things have been going on recently and things haven't been the same."

His confusion drains into an intense look of realization. "Oh my God, you cheated on him."

I shake my head hastily while I see his devious smirk grow. "No! No, well-"

"You did!" He points at me with an outstretched arm. I feel like we are kids again. He knows I'm in trouble and is going to tell on me, and I'm trying desperately to not let it happen.

"I didn't." I argue again. "I kissed someone else."

"Oh my God, Jessie." He covers his mouth with his hand and smiles. His eyes peek over at me with a curious look behind them. I know a horrible question is coming. "Was it a full on make out session, or like a peck?"

I roll my head back and rest it on the couch. "Isaac," I whine.

He pokes my side, and I brush his hand away."Tell me."

"Why do you need to know?" I flick my eyes to him, and he shrugs. I give a heavy, full body sigh, already knowing I am going to regret this. "Make out session."

He doesn't change his demeanor at first. He slowly begins to nod. "So what I'm hearing is that you wanted this guy badly."

"Shut up. No I didn't." I am beginning to think that Isaac hasn't matured, at least around me anyways.

"Do I know either of them?" he asks.

Do not answer this question, I tell myself. "Yes."

He scoots closer to me, obviously more interested in the conversation. "I do? Who are they?"

Keep it vague. "Harry went to high school with me. And the other guy did too."

"Ok but do I remember them? What was the other guy's name?"

Do not answer. Don't do it. This is not something you want to get into with Isaac. "Zayn."

"Zayn? That douchebag you were seeing for two weeks?" he yells through the house.

I shush him and look around the house to see if anyone else heard. "No, yes. Just, be quiet, no one else knows about this."

"They don't know? What don't they know?"

"That I have a boyfriend. Or anything about Zayn."

He furrows his brow. "Wait."

"What?"

"Zayn Malik, right?"

"Yeah, and I said keep it down."

Eve comes running down the stairs with a little black haired, blue eyed friend right behind her. "Jessie, this is Safaa."

She pulls Safaa up to me to say hello.

"Hi," the beautiful girl says to me.

"Hey, I'm Jessie," I respond. Damn this girl looks familiar.

"I know." She knows who I am. Maybe I do know her. I get this feeling that I do.

"Have we met before?" I ask her.

"I don't think so, but your sister told me about you." I think she is wrong. I think I've met her before. I just can't tell where from.

"It's nice to meet you."

"You too." Her eyes flicker to the television. She plays with the end of her shirt. "Are you watching Frozen?"

"Yeah," I say with a welcoming smile.

She quickly flips to Eve and puts her hand on her arm. "Let's watch it," Safaa begs Eve.

I can see that Eve doesn't want to. I'm sure she's seen it a billion times living with our mom. "Ok," she whines.

The girls sit on the couch next to the one Isaac and I are on.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rings, and my mom shouts that she'll get it.

"Dang it," Safaa says and she starts to get up off the couch. "I have to go."

"Jess," Isaac calls me. "Check your phone."

I pick up my phone and see that Isaac texted me five minutes ago.

From Isaac:

You know who Safaa is, right?

I look up to him, and he raises an eyebrow at me.

To Isaac:

Eve's friend? What do you mean?

He begins typing on his phone again. In the meantime, I watch Safaa and Eve disappear upstairs to get her stuff ready to leave.

From Isaac:

Her brother. Do you remember her brother?

My mom opens the door, and with a large smile, she greets the person at the door.

My phone buzzes. I read the words on the front screen when they appear.

From Isaac:

Her brother IS ZAYN

My eyes dart up to Isaac, whose full attention is somewhere else. I follow his gaze to the front door, where our mother stands, greeting a tall, dark-haired boy whose presence makes me want to claw my eyes out.