Jack Goes to Broadway

December 3

     "Mr. Bingley is far superior to Mr. Darcy," Halfborn declared.

     "Really?" Magni asked, "but he's wealthier and more handsome."

    "Mr. Bingley was the one who hosted the ball," Halfborn said, "and besides, he is far kinder to Jane than Mr. Darcy is to Elizabeth."

    "Mr. Darcy and his 'she's not pretty enough for me' airs make me want to vomit," Mallory said.

     "Why do you guys think Jane Austen included that aspect of Mr. Darcy's character?" Odin asked us.

     "So we'd dislike him — at least initially?" I guessed.

     "I've never read Pride and Prejudice before," TJ prefaced, "but I'm guessing that our attitude towards Mr. Darcy will change and reflect Elizabeth's future fondness of them. Mark my words: they're getting married."

    "What?" Magni asked. "What a horrible ship! Elizabeth should have accepted Mr. Collins' proposal and Caroline Bingley should end up with Mr. Darcy."

    "Alright guys," Odin said. "I'm going to redirect our conversation before it turns into a ship war. If you want to discuss this more, you can write about it in your essay."

     "Will do," Magni said.

      I raised my hand. "I find it interesting how Mrs. Bennet is in such a hurry to get her daughters married."

     "It's a reflection of the time," Sam replied.

      "Yes, but why is Mrs. Bennet more pushy about marriage than Mr. Bennet?" I countered.

      "I think that might just reflect that she is a woman and so she knows the importance of marriage," Jack said. "Because of inheritance laws at the time, the Bennet girls really did need to get married to secure their economic futures."

"Yeah," Sam said. "Imagine how different the book would be if it was from Mrs. Bennet's point of view?"

"It wouldn't be a chick flick," Magni said.

He then blushed and added, "Actually, chick flicks are sorta my guilty pleasure."

"Knitting is my guilty pleasure," Mothi added, uncharacteristically shy.

"You guys are acting like you're admitting to some crime or something," Mallory said, rolling her eyes.

"That's because we've been told so long that we have to avoid acting feminine or we won't be seen as real men," Halfborn replied.

I nodded my head, remembering how I'd been called gay and a host of slurs in middle school after saying it was perfectly okay for boys to wear pink. The way they treated me, you'd think I was some massive jerk who gave people complex trauma just to pass my time, but that was them — not me.

    Everywhere around me, the other boys were nodding their heads. Odin cleared his throat. "While I hate to interrupt this philosophical discussion, but we need to get back to the book. If you guys would like to continue discussions like these, you can always take a Gender and Women Studies course."

    This ended our great discussion.

***

    "Are you guys going to the student matinee?" Jack asked us in Ceramics class.

"I'm a man of culture, so why not?" Halfborn said. "Mallory, would you like to go with me?"

"Course," she said. "What's the play?"

"If it's Cats, I won't go if you pay me to," Alex said flatly.

Jack shot her a look. "It's not Cats."

"Good," Alex replied. "My father and stepmother took me to Broadway and that was the musical they decided we should see. It was horrible."

"No, it's Fiddler on The Roof," Jack replied.

"I've never heard of that," Halfborn admitted. "I'd better look up a review."

While Sif was busy helping one of our classmates, he pulled out his phone. His eyebrows rose farther and farther up his forehead as he stared at his screen. Finally, he turned to look at Jack. "Who are you playing?" he asked.

"Perchik," Jack answered.

"You're playing a Communist?" Halfborn exclaimed.

Jack's eyebrows scrunched together. "Halfborn, what website did you read this review on? Let me see it."

Halfborn turned on his phone again and handed it to Jack who started laughing. "Oh my," he said. "How much of this did you read?"

"I just skimmed over it," Halfborn said. "Why?"

Jack chuckled. "Alright. I'll do the honors and read it out loud. First of all, you should know this is rated with a skull and crossbones for 'strong promotion of false religion, and Soviet communism."

     "Wait what?" I asked. "Isn't this the musical about a guy who plays the violin and says he wants to be rich so his wife is happy and he can have a stairway leading to nowhere? How does did have to do with Communism and promotion of a false religion? I'm an atheist, and I wouldn't be so disrespectful of another's beliefs."

    "Just look at it yourself," Jack said.

    He passed around the phone and when it was my turn, I snorted.

When I was done reading the review, I looked up. "This has to be satire."

"No, I think they're serious," Jack said.

"Let me read it," Halfborn said.

I handed his phone back to him and he groaned. "Why did Google suggest this to me?"

"I think we will be going to the matinee," I told Jack, "especially if we can see you starting as a — oh how did the review put it? — 'positively-portrayed radical Marxist.'"

"Yeah," Alex said. "I'll go too."

"Count me in," Sam added.

"And I," TJ said.

"Hearthstone and Blitzen will want to come too," I said. "I'll text them after class."

I turned and gave Jack a grin. "Are you ready to be on Broadway?"

He blushed. "It's only a school play."

"And you're one of the main characters," I said.

He grinned. "I just wish Riptide could see it."

"She will," Alex promised. "I'll secretly record the entire thing for her."

We all laughed. "The cameras have ears," Halfborn whisper-yelled.

"And the microwaves are recording our every movement," TJ joked.

Alex smiled. "Well, my FBI agent already knows how wild I am and they haven't stopped me yet."

"Your FBI agent might not, but your Ceramics teacher is reminding you guys to put away your devices and work on your projects," Sif said.

We all sighed and made a fuss, but we were in a good mood and nothing this small could deflate our bubble of happiness.