SasoDei fanfic chap 4 {This Love}

Chapter 4

"This grief"

It's been two days since Sasori left, and I've decided (against my better judgement) to go find him. I'm walking out in the woods, calling his name, when I see a note stuck to a tree. My heart sinks. Oh no... Did he leave permanently? Oh god... MI walk over, and shakily grab the letter. I slowly open it. It reads:

'Deidara,

I expect by the time you are reading this it's been too late. I'm afraid that your partner has already been killed. We waited long enough, and we finally carried through with our plan of executing the traitor. I'm afraid you're not much of a threat, and you're not worth killing at the moment. Do us all a favor and don't try to find us.

-Pain and the Akatsuki'

I finish reading the letter, and I feel it slip from my grasp. No. No, no, no! They got him! And I never got to apologize! I can't hold myself up, I lean against the tree and slowly slip down, holding my head in my hands. After all we've done, and all we've worked for, they took him. How could I have been so stupid and let him wander off like this?

I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach. I feel a knot in my throat. Is he really gone? I can't imagine life without him. God, I love him so much if he's really gone... I feel a sob coming up from my stomach, to my throat. My eyes sting, and a tear falls out. I cover my face and let it go. This grief is unbearable.

Sasori not here to comfort me, I feel so alone... "No, no, no, no!" I yell, tears falling in a torrent of emotions down my face. "Please! Don't take him away from me!" I yell at the sky. There's no one around to hear my cries, and I don't know how long I just sit there, yelling, screaming sobbing... I feel so guilty that we had a fight right before he left, and now... He's gone.

Then, I realize something, maybe there's still a change to save him! I stand up quick, and run back to the house. I need to grab my clay, but I can't find it. C'mon Deidara, think! I'm panicking, because I know that I need to move fast if there's any chance of saving him at all. I'm shaking, and I can't get my grip. Okay, calm down... Don't panic. I stop for a momen, and take a deep breath. A tear slips out, then I remember where it is!

Back in the weapons room! I never put it there, but I did last night because I had a long day of training. I grab it, run out, and get on my owl. We take off, and I wipe my eyes. It's not unlike Pain to trick me like that... I hope upon hope he's still alive. "I'm coming..." I whisper. "I'm gonna' save you..."