Chapter 16

It was like any other Friday night and i was in my room , painting . The stars seemed brighter and it was cold outside . Mum was at work doing overtime as per usual and Lucas no longer comes down from his window to mine so i was all alone . I painted the night sky filled endlessly with stars but i left the bottom half of it unpainted because i wasn't sure what should be there , i didn't know what would be standing underneath the stars at night . It was 10 p.m , too early for bed . I would normally be awake all the way till past midnight because i'd be waist-high in thoughts about life . I didn't know what to expect out of my future , it felt like i wouldn't have any . I was fine believing that nothing much is going to happen for me . I didn't had any expectations and it felt good because with no expectations , there would be less disappointments . I had to a lot to figure out but i realised i can't do it alone . I have Riley and thats all that matters . 

My phone rang and the caller ID showed it was Lucas . I answered it and all he did was whispered , "Look outside your window" , before he quickly hung up . I walked over to my window and saw Lucas standing against a car . He was looking up , beaming at the sight of me . I raised my eyebrows as he motioned his hands asking me to come down . I mouthed ,"Hold on" then went to search for a coat . I remembered i didn't had any so i wore the one that belonged to Josh . 

I got out form my window and went up to Lucas . My hands were in my pocket and i stared at him long enough to had made him ask , "What ?" . 

"What are you doing here outside and who's car is that ?" i asked .

"Mine . I just got it today . I wanted to test drive it and you were the first person i thought of giving the honour of being my first passenger ." he answered , smiling down at his shoes . 

I saw him blushed and i couldn't help but to blush too . I cleared my throat out and stood there awkwardly . He opened up my door and i got into his car . He said i look beautiful tonight and i felt perfectly fine . We drove around the town and he showed me places i've never seen . I've never stayed too long outside at night . I never knew how beautiful it was . We stopped at a tip of a hill where we could overlook the entire town that we lived in . The lights sparkled underneath the star filled sky and it hit me that this was the reason why i left the painting half empty . It was because i never knew how beautiful life was at night . I never saw it in this light . We both sat down on the dirt near the edge of the cliff and gazed far across the city lights . 

"This is so beautiful" i muttered . 

Lucas turned to me , for awhile it seemed as if he was observing something then he let out a smile . "If only you could see the light through my eyes.."

I turned to him , "Why ?" 

"I'm looking at something so incredible , too bad you can't ." 

I smiled but that was all i could manage because i knew i couldn't love him . I knew i did but i didn't want to . 

"Why can't you just let it go ?" I asked softly 

"We can't control feelings , Maya . It happens when it happens."

"I wish we could stay away."

"I wouldn't . I want to able to look at you for the rest of my life."

He placed his hands on my face like he normally would when he tries to kiss me then he leaned in closer . I leaned back , took his hands off and stood up . I rejected the kiss although i would have wanted it but it was all too complicated . Typical teenage relationship . I walked back slowly to his car where i sat at my seat and stayed there . Lucas took a while to gather himself up before he walked over , came in and apologised . I shook my head and said , "I'm the one who should be sorry . I can't love you."

"But you do .. don't you ?" he asked as he started the engine . 

I ignored his question and looked out the window . If only it hadn't been this hard . If only i didn't exist . 

When we arrived at the alley where our window was , i left with an awkward goodbye and went straight to my painting that i left half unpainted . I finished the painting with a silhouette of me and Lucas gazing across the city lights . I loved it . I left it against the wall and went to bed . It was 2 a.m and i was thinking back about the things i've seen and the beautiful wonders that shines at night . It was then that i realised that i could have something in the future , there was hope and i couldn't wait for it to happen . That night , i slept well . 

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Sorry for the short chapter but i hope you enjoyed it !