XIX

**Nakime's POV***

It's been two days since that night.

Kokushibou hasn't said a thing since then. I didn't want to pressure him to tell me things he wasn't ready to.But still, I couldn't help but have a little understanding of what was happening.

I haven't seen Yoriichi since.

"Koku." I call out. I was in the kitchen, trying to prepare him something. He refused to take in a thing, whether it was raw or not.

The cycle was to wake up, be sombre until morning time and then go back to sleep, asides catering for the lily.Sometimes, he doesn't even sleep and I've tried lulling him to, but he still wakes up after and stays up the entire time.

I felt so frustrated.At myself for not being able to do anything.

What could've really happened?

I was pulled out of my thoughts when he walked right into the kitchen, sitting on one of the stools.I frowned.

And then, there was this. Lack of physical contact.

Usually, he's always the one to hold or touch me, especially on evenings like this. He'd come behind me and wrap those arms of his around my frame, and sometimes give me those ticklish kisses.Now, I was the one always initiating contact. And I wasn't frequent because I knew he needed his space.

"Evening." I managed to smile, even if I wasn't happy at all, "How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?"

He didn't answer, he didn't even spare me a glance. He just gave me a curt nod.

Oh Kami-sama.

I sigh, and decide to let him be for now. It was best not to push but I was just so... tired of this silent treatment. Eventually, mu body didn't agree with me and I walked to him, putting a plate of food in front of him. His head was still down and he looked like he wanted to murmur a 'thank you' but was cut off as I slapped both my hands on the counter.

He didn't flinch, but it definitely caught his attention and he looked at me.Finally.

I narrow your eyes at him.

"Look. I'm going to be as curt as I can, and you are going to listen and understand. You're going to eat, and when I say eat, I mean it, and then, we are going to sit down and you are going to talk to me. Okay?"

He only continues to stare at me, but I could see some sort of affirmation in his eyes. That was all I needed. I stepped back from the counter and dusted my hands. After giving him one last glance, I walk out of the kitchen and move upstairs, straight to our room to wait for him.

**Kokushibou's POV***

I continued to stare at the door. Her figure moved upstairs, probably to our room.I carefully placed a hand over my eyes, applying a little pressure on the pair.

They've been aching non stop. Even when I shut them, they refuse to shut.

Flashes of Yoriichi just replay, over and over....

I look down at my food and sigh, eating everything. I knew that look, the look she gave me screamed 'you'd better do this or I won't be to blame for your missing limbs'.

I've been avoiding her way too much. All because I'm still brooding over his death.

He died with a smile on his face. He looked happy.Why won't you accept it?

My thoughts envelop me, making my head ache even more. But there is no expression on my face. There can't be, I'm not the one being frustrated right now.

It's Nakime.

I dropped the plate in the sink and then walked back upstairs, straight for our room.Without Yoriichi, my room was free again so I could return to it. But I wouldn't. And I'm not sure Nakime would let me either.I'm basically her pillow now.

I quietly open the door and step in, shutting it behind me. She was sitting in front of the window, with her hair in a messy bun. I see her in the haori I've been looking for, for days now but I decide to say nothing.

She looks so peaceful, strumming her biwa in one of the softest tunes I've ever heard.

I couldn't help but smile. The way she strummed the strings delicately, like they would break under the pressure of her fingers. Her fingers can't do much damage though, they're way too soft.She'd kill me if she heard that.

"You ate?" She turns to look at me, "You ate everything right?"

I nod slowly and walk to the window, sitting on the bed in front of her. She continues to look at me, up and down like she was trying to see if I was telling the truth or not.

I smiled a little, and decide to tease her, "You can kiss me to confirm."

She cracks a smile, "You're still in the doghouse. Don't be expecting any lips to lips from me."

I chuckle a bit and nod, understanding that she'd probably give in later. She continues strumming her biwa and I stare out the window, allowing the tunes to calm me down. I didn't know why, but I felt at peace now.

This woman doesn't know the power she has over me.

She smiled again and looked at me, "Will you let me touch you now?"

I immediately raise an eyebrow and smirk, "What kind of touching are we talking about?"

"Don't be a pervert." She continues, even if she was still smiling. I couldn't help but grin and she laughs, "I swear if you tell me some bullshit..."

"I just need to know."

"My legs ache, Kokushibou."

"That means I'm doing it right." I smirk and she glares at me.

"Don't be a bitch." She says and stands up from the window, sitting next to me on the bed. I immediately wrap an arm around her waist and pull her flush to my side. She smiles and rests her head on my shoulder.

I definitely missed her touch.

There's a comfortable silence between the two of us, as we sit in each other's embrace. Her hand is rubbing soothing circles on my back and my head lays on the top of hers. I honestly forgot how small this woman was. I think she heard me because she glared up at me.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I can feel you sizing me up." She answered and I smiled a bit.

"Maybe I am-ow." I wince as he pinches my side. I rub the part where she pinched and she smacked my hand away, before rubbing it herself.

Why is she so bipolar today?

I sigh and allow her, nuzzling into her hair. After a few seconds, I subconsciously rub my cheek on her hair making her look at me.

Am I........ ready to tell her?

"Yoriichi is dead."

The way her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open, almost made me laugh. The words revolted me, sounding like poison on my tongue. But I didn't feel as bad.

Maybe because his decaying body wasn't in front of me. Or maybe because she was here, giving me one of the funniest expressions I've ever seen in all my days.

She blinks for a while, assimilating the information. She then looks down, as if she can't believe it before looking at me again.

I stay quiet, watching her inner battle for whatever it was she was trying to understand.

"What?" She finally voices out, in utter disbelief. I smiled, sadly.

"Yoriichi is dead." I repeat and she blinks at me even more. Her expression then softens and her hand around my waist tightens its grip. I lean into the touch of her hand on my cheek.

"Are you...okay?" She asks gently, as if she was trying to not remind me or something.

I only chuckle, "No. I'm far from okay. But at least, I have a reason to be okay."

Her face scrunched in confusion and I smile at her, "He died, a few nights ago. Specifically the night I came back looking like I had seen a ghost."

She continued to listen to me, stroking my cheek at intervals.

"He didn't seem sad dying..in fact, he was actually smiling." I chuckled, voice a little strained, "His last words were just as defiant as he was, and I realized..that it was too late for me to start caring. If I did care, I'd have accepted him...when we were kids. As a little brother, and not an object of envy..."

Nakime smiled softly, almost comforting me with her eye only.

"He told me to not get you angry though." I mention and she grins.

"Oh he did? That's good. Now you'll think twice before giving me the silent treatment again." She says and I chuckle, nuzzling into her hand on my cheek.

"Don't worry. I'll make it up to you."

She immediately glares at me, a tiny blush on her cheek, "What part of 'I'm recovering' don't you understand?"

"What part of 'I'll make it up to you' don't you understand?" I retaliate and she gives me a cute little scowl.

I smile again, looking the other way, "He died with a smile on his face. He looked...happy."

She nodded and gave me a little forehead kiss. I smiled and closed my eyes, savoring it."I have an idea."

I raise an eyebrow at her and she only smiles."Trust me on this."

***********

I watched silently as she patted his burgundy haori on the little made up tombstone.

I couldn't help but smile at her eager little look of concentration. I squat right beside her and she smiled at me a little before going back to constructing on it.

"Come closer." She says and I shift closer to her, squatting right beside her.

We both closed our eyes, with our palms clasped together. A small honoring of Yoriichi.

Yoriichi.I know I've never been the brother you needed, yet you always wanted me. You were always supportive, to me, despite how I always pushed you away.I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for not letting you have peace in the first place.

You're free to be peaceful now. And please, say hello to Utah for me.

I felt two hands wrap around me from behind and I smiled, not bothering to open my eyes.The night air was cool and crisp, but I felt warm inside. The gnawing feeling wasn't so disturbing anymore. I felt.....warm.

"You're doing okay?" She murmurs and I smile softly, nodding.

"More than okay."

*********