Chapter 31: Mending

Katniss' POV

Just as Gale walks away Peeta walks up the path. I jump off the porch and meet him half way up the walk. I hug him and he holds me close like he thinks I might disappear. And I let him.

Gale leaving for 2 seems to lift the weight of the world off my shoulders. He's gone and Peeta and I can finally live our lives. I don't have to hide away so I don't see the one person who was my only comfort now someone I almost dread, our eyes always asking what could have been.

I suddenly find feet off the ground, Peeta lifting me off my feet.

"Peeta! Put me down! You could hurt yourself!" I say trying to sound serious but a chuckling sound invading my words.

"Katniss, your light as a feather. If I can carry the sacks of flour at the bakery over my shoulder," he's says with a slight playfulness in his voice,"I can carry you." and with that he throws me up on his shoulder and carries me into the house. I try to fight the giggles that escape but it feels great to laugh again.

"Hey you two, some people like to take afternoon naps. I don't need mine interrupted because you two make a racket in your front yard," Haymitch yells from his front porch.

"Shut up you old drunk!" I yell back at him as Peeta carries me through the front door and I swing it shut.

When we get inside, Peeta throws me onto the couch and I almost tumble off it.

"What was that for?" I ask him.

"Do I need a reason to carry you around?" he asks playfully.

"No, but why did you throw me on the couch?" I ask him.

"Didn't see a softer way to get you off my shoulder," he says simply walking away," What do you want for dinner. I brought cheese buns from the bakeryand I think we have some squirrel somewhere around here. That sound okay?"

"That's fine Peeta," I say going over to him,"You seem to be happier then you've been in days. Did something happen at the bakery?" He looks at me with a strangest look on his face. Like confusion.

"Yeah. Gale visited me," He says.

"He visited me too," I tell him.

"I saw him on my way out. What did he say to you? Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine, but what did he say to you? It had to be something to make you feel better," I say crossing my arms across my chest.

"Tell me first."

"No you."

"No, you."

"No, you."

"God you're stubborn!" He says.

"That's why you love me. Does that mean I win?" I ask.

"He told me why he abandoned you okay. He just told me about how bad you got seeing me in those stupid Capital interviews and then how you watched me in my cell, how all you wanted was to hold me and I thought you were some monster. And he admitted it was his bombs that killed Prim, and that he knew what would happen before it did. I'm so sorry Katniss. I'm so sorry I doubted you," he says hugging me close. He buries his face in my hair and I feel his tears run down my neck and my own falling on his shirt. He killed Prim? I knew in my heart that it was true, but I never imagined he knew she would be in the crossfire when those bombs were dropped.

"He told me about the nightlock, Peeta. He told me that you saved me while he just stood there. Why have you never told me about that?" I ask him pulling away.

"Probably the same reason that he didn't tell you about Prim. Because as much as you hide it, your as fragile as a glass Mockingjay. Prim's death already cracked you. The details would shatter you. You need to heal a little before you knew. I didn't want to hurt you. You could handle it when I first came back and I never wanted to destroy your image of him," he says.

"I understand. I wish you had told me but I still can't handle my dreams on my own. I can't handle my life on my own. Even if Gale had been the one to save me from the nightlock, I'd be dead by now, most defiantly by my own hand. Gale will never understand me like you do. And that's why I can survive without you," I tell him. We hug each other for a little while until we are interrupted by my stomach growling. I start laughing uncontrollably.

"Now about dinner, I'm starving! I'm gonna go take a shower." I say changing the subject.

"I'll try to have it done by the time you're done, my Mockingjay. Would you like shrimp with that?" he asks in a silly Capital accent.

"Don't push it. Just cause your cute doesn't mean I won't smack you around for being a smart ass," I say. I start making my way upstairs to go take my shower when I hear him call up after me.

"You think I'm cute?" I turn and stick my tongue out at him slamming the bedroom door behind me.

I take a shower, the soap burning the cut I made on my hip, the only place I could have hid it from Peeta. I made it the day Gale met me at the dress shop. The day I cut open the wounds in Peeta's heart. Since that day, I've scratched it open every morning after Peeta left, trying to put myself through the pain I caused him, telling him the ugly truth.

I get out of the shower and dry off. I get dressed and walk down the stairs and find Peeta sitting at the table with cheese buns and roasted squirrel. I sit down next to him and we eat talking about what could happen in the future, how we want our lives to be.

When I get up to get rid of the dishes when Peeta grabs my hand. "Katniss, what's that?" I look down and see that the cut on my hip has reopened and has begun to bleed through my shorts.

"It's nothing Peeta, just a scrape. I'll patch it up after I do the dishes." I tell him, not wanting him to think to much into it, knowing he'll ask questions that I don't want to answer now.

"Forget the dishes. We're taking you upstairs and cleaning this up." And with that he picks me up, one arm around my back and one under my knees, being careful of the wound that is still seeping blood. When he gets me upstairs he sets me gently on the bed and goes to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. When he comes back he looks at me embarrassed.

"Katniss, you're really not gonna like this but have to slide your shorts off your hip," he says.

"What? Why?" I ask him.

You can't roll your shorts up high enough to get the wound clean. We have to clean it and patch it up so it doesn't get infected and it'll heal. Please Katniss." he pleads. I look at him and see how desperately he wants to help me.

I gently slide the waistband off my hip and reveal the jagged, irritated wound that's reopened for the eighth time, this time being an accident. Peeta looks at me with tears in his eyes, knowing I did this to myself. He takes a cotton swab soaked in alcohol and gently cleans the wound. I wince because it stings but I don't cry out. I know how much he hates the fact that he knows he's hurting me, and me screaming will make it worse.

When he finishes cleaning the cut, he gently places a swatch of medical wrapping on it and tapes in place. He slides my shorts back up, carefully grazing over the bandage. When he's done he takes my hand and brings it too his lips, kissing my knuckles like he had in the cave.

"Why Katniss?" He sobs quietly, "why did you cut yourself?"

"Because of the pain I put you through. I hurt you so much when I told you about my feelings. I deserved to feel that pain," I said cupping his face in my hand. He doesn't meet my eyes but leans into my hand as I wipe a tear off his cheek.

"When? How many times?" he asks, still holding my hand.

"A week ago. I only used a blade once. The rest... the rest of the time I scratched it open after you left for work," I say softly.

"Why would you think you have to do this? Why would you hurt yourself because you thought you had to feel my pain?" He asks, starting to cry again.

"Because I saw what I had done to you, telling you about Gale. You became a shell of a person for a week Peeta. You barely left that art room and when ever you smiled it never reached your eyes. I deserved to feel pain for what I'd done to you," I cry. He finally looks up at me, his blue eyes puffy and blood shot. He gets up and takes my face in his hands.

"Please, never ever ever do this again! Never think you have to hurt yourself because I'm hurting! I'm sorry you felt this way but I can't stand the thought of you hurting yourself because of me," he says pressing his forehead to mine,"Promise me you'll never do this again. We're better now. We can heal now."

"I promise. I'm sorry, Peeta. I never meant to hurt you," I say softly.

"Are there anymore? If there are, please Katniss tell me now," he says, a new tear running down his cheek.

"No that's the only one," I say.

"You know I'm gonna drag you to the bakery with me for a couple weeks," he says, "to make sure you keep your promise." I just nod, knowing there's no fighting this.

"Do you wanna call it an early night?" I ask him.

"Yeah, that would probably be best he says. We lay down next to each other. My head rests on his chest. As I fall asleep to the sound of Peeta's heartbeat, I feel him plant a gentle kiss on the top of my head and whisper in my ear.

"I promise to protect you from everything in this world that harms you, even if it means yourself."

-----------------------------------Hey. Not at all what I planned on happening. I planned on stopping it at the part where Katniss walked up the stairs but I just kinda kept typing. Its hard to think I did this to Katniss, to both of them. Ive never been in this situation but there a lot of people out there who are. I hope you all liked this and enjoyed a longer chapter that isn't long because I put a song in it. This chapter means a lot to me. I hope to write to you guys more once basketball is over. Its given me such a busy schedule but I enjoy spending time with the girls I've come to know as my extended family, even if there's one I could live without. Sorry I'm rambling now. I'll write more soon.

63k is amazing. I'll try to pay you guys back for that.

Love y'allRock on!-Kayla