Chapter 29: Getting there is half the battle

I dreamt of black. Oil black, with porcelain hands pulling me into it. Until it surrounded me. Until I was choking on it, coughing up black. It was deep and thick and cold. I wanted to escape but I was drowning in it. Then, all it took was one shake, and I was back.

"Baby Bird, Baby Bird wake up. We gotta go."

I moaned, pushing myself up from his pillow. At some point last night I rolled onto my stomach, but in all actuality, I know that I was practically laying on top of Bokuto. Yet he somehow managed to wiggle out of bed without waking me, and get dressed.

He was zipping his white jacket, same as mine with the black and yellow stripes on the shoulder.

"What time is it?" I asked, stretching as I sat up.

"5:10," he answered, "We gotta get going. We gotta get you up to the school so you can shower and do something about your hair before the team starts arriving. Buses leave at 7, my team typically starts arriving at 6:20 to stretch out before getting on the bus. I tried to let you sleep in as long as I could, but we gotta go." He checked his bag and mine then went on saying, "I found a spare toothbrush, un opened of course. And luck for you, mom decided to pack some food for you today, even though she knew you were at your little sleepover. Told me last night to take it to you. I already put it in your bag."

He walked over to the window and pushed it open before placing a pair of his slides right at the edge of the bed so I could put them on the moment my legs swung off his bed. I was moving so fast last night, I hadn't even realized I ran out of there without my shoes. Shock had taken over.

He leaned forward giving me a quick kiss on the head before saying, "Move Baby Bird."

He set my bag down outside the window and said, "I'll go get the bike," before leaving me in his room.

I got up, reaching for his hoodie he let me wear yesterday, and under the deep blue hoodie was a pair of his sweatpants. These weren't here yesterday. He most likely planned for me to borrow these pants.

It's rare to see this side of Bokuto. Assertive. Knowing just what to do, planning ahead. Making moves. I liked to see it. See him being an actual leader.

I quickly slid his clothes over his other clothes I was already wearing, slid on his slides that were way too big for me and began to climb out of his window, just as he pushed the bike up the side of the house. He stopped, leaning the bike against the house to free his hands. He pulled his window shut, asking, "Everything fit okay?"

"Okay enough," I shrugged at my overly baggy look. The pants had a pull string, luckily, because without it, they would be following straight off of me. I shrugged, letting the long sleeves, flop over my hands.

He laughed a bit, pushing the bike up to the street, "Is it bad if I think you look hot? I'm feeling the bedhead look, especially when you're waking up in my bed."

"Bad Birdy," I chuckled, bringing my hands to my hair. It was probably a mess. Nothing I can do about it though without some water. A lot of water.

He smirked but kept pushing forward.

Once we got to the street, Bokuto got onto the bike and I got on his back seat. I'm starting to think he picked this bike for the purpose, because the bike he picked for me does not have a back seat.

He held both my bag and his. I held on tight and away we were. It didn't take long for us to get to the school.

He unlocked the door and handed me my bag saying, "I put everything you'll need in there. At least I think." He rubbed the back of his neck saying, "I would have grabbed my mom's body wash for you but she would have noticed, so you'll have to use mine. Sorry, you'll have to smell like me."

"I think I can live with that," I chuckled, slinging my bag over my shoulder, "I'm in your clothes and slept in your bed last night, I probably already smell like you."

"True," he shrugged, "Now go. You have about 40 minutes before my team starts arriving."

I nodded, and jogged for the locker room. I turned the water on to let it warm up. Before undressing. It's kinda nerve-wracking to be naked, in a boys locker room. I'm on a strict time limit here. Though I'm sure, Bokuto won't let anyone barge in here, even if someone did show.

Still not something I want to explain though.

I took the washcloth and body wash into the shower with me, and hung the towel on the wall that separates the different shower stalls. I chose a stall that was farther back in the locker room. If someone does come in here, I'll at least be able to grab my towel before they get to me.

But I'll be quick.

I was done cleaning my body, cleansing myself of leftover paint, sweat, dried tears and blood. Some of their scratches cut deep enough to draw blood. Now stinging in the hot water.

These marks on my arms, across my neck. These were left by the girls that are supposed to be my team. The girls I will share the court with today.

Volleyball is about trusting your team. But, I can't trust any of them. Not even Aimi.

"Hey Z?"

I jumped a little at the sound of his voice. "What, is someone here?" I started to reach for my towel but he said, "No... you still got like 10 minutes."

"Okay," I said. I began to wet my hair, letting it fill with water to loosen it up and fall. I parted my hair down the middle with my fingers and began putting two French braids in. It's the only thing I can do at this point.

"Hey Z, can I ask you something stupid?" His voice sounded closer. Just the next shower stall over.

"I guess," I shrugged. It's strange, having him so close as I'm naked. In the shower.

This is worse than the texting in the tub.

"Have... have you thought about quitting?"

"No." I said it immediately. In all honesty. That is the one thing that I haven't thought of, "I've waited so long to play and actually stand a chance in winning. I can't quit."

I heard him sigh saying, "I thought you'd say that. It's just." He sighed again saying, "I can't imagine leaving you alone with those girls for a single second. I... I can't."

"I'll be fine Bokuto," I said, wondering if I'm being truthful. "I'll stay by my coach, they won't do anything to me."

"What about during the game? Accidents happen all the time Baby Bird, players crashing into each other, jumping on each other. What if something happens and it's not an accident?"

"Then I'll keep my eye out."

He was making a point, a strong point. But I couldn't let this be the end for me,

"Look Bokuto. I am going to play. I won't let anyone stop me, not my team or the opponents or you."

"Baby Bird-"

"Bokuto?" I heard another voice call out.

I clenched my arms to my chest, and looked up to my towel. If I grab it now, whoever is at the door will see it.

"Bokuto? Who are you talking to?"

"Akaashi!" Bokuto shouted, soooo not playing this off well.

"What are you doing?" Akaashi asked.

Bokuto was quick in his answer, "Checking the showers. As captain I gotta make sure they are all working well." If he wasn't an idiot, this response never would have worked. But since Bokuto is known for being an idiot, Akaashi simply said, "Oh."

But with it being Akaashi, of course he can't leave it at that, "Well why don't you cut that one off now. It's steaming, I'm pretty sure that means it's working."

"Um... right." Bokuto said, "I'll cut it off right now." I saw his hand on the edge of the curtain. He slowly pulled back and I covered myself as much as I could. My eyes were wide, staring at him as he took just one step into the shower, with his eyes closed. His hand extended into the shower as he said, "Cutting it off now." I pushed myself to the wall, away from his blindly wandering hand. I turned the water off myself, but just as I did, I felt Bokuto's hand touch the wet skin of my shoulder. I froze.

He on the other hand let out a yelp. I saw him jump up saying, "It's off, let's get out of here."

I saw him move away, and heard the two of them heading up the stairs, back into the gym.

Quickly I snatched the towel and dried off. I headed to get my clothes on and dried my hair as much as I could. I zipped my jacket over my number 4 jersey, restuffed my bag, and rushed for the locker room door. But stopped and calmed myself before heading into the gym.

I closed the door as quietly as possible. Thanks to the help of Bokuto shouting his conversation with Akaashi, I don't think he heard or saw me.

Beside the door to the locker room was a ladder to get to the bleachers on the upper level. I claimed halfway up, then said loudly, "Oh, Hey Akaashi," and began climbing down once he turned to look at me.

When I hit the gym floor again, I started walking towards them saying, "I didn't hear you come in. I was up there reading on my phone."

"Oh, hey." He said, "I thought you were here, just..." his eyes trailed to Bokuto, as if he suspected something.

"You'll wanna pass the ball around? Get warmed up?" I asked, trying desperately to change the subject.

"Yeah," Bokuto called out, "Come on."

He went to the closet pulling out a ball and tossing it up to Akaashi. We passed the ball around as the rest of the team showed. Then once my team came, all together in the group, all coming from Hina's house, they called for me to come to our own gym to stretch.

My feet felt heavy, as though my feet were strapped to boulders. I had to move, but I couldn't. I thought I could do this, but... it's hard. My body began feeling hot, my throat tightening. I... I can't do this.

"Why don't you girls stretch with us today," Bokuto invited, but didn't sound so inviting. His face was serious, but he looked to the two third years, eyes deep.

They stood frozen in the doorway, sort of confused as one said, "Um... sure. Girls, come on."

And here comes my team. Walking in. Together, all coming for that sleepover. Where they spent the evening laughing at me.

They sucked up all the air in the room. I felt like I was choking. The three third years. I know without a doubt, those three were the ones. The ones in black face. But who was the fourth one? Was it Aimi, walking tucked behind them with her head down. She won't even look at me. Guilt.

Bokuto led us in the stretches. I kept my eyes on him. And he kept his eyes on my team. Sending reassuring smiles my way every now and again.

"Hina," Bokuto called once we finished, "Why don't you go check on Hiro. Make sure he's all packed and ready to go," he turned to go to his managers who were finishing up with their water bottles.

"Hiro's a big boy. He's got it." Hina laughed.

Bokuto only shrugged, "You're the captain. It's your job to make sure everyone on your team is doing their best. Everyone, from the manager to the ace. And everyone in-between."

She laughed a little, along with a few of her teammates, "I think I'm doing a good enough job."

"That's not up to you to decide, it's up to your team," Bokuto said before shouting to his managers with a smile, "You got everything?"

Hina paused. It still pained me to look at her. Feeling as though I might actually throw up. But she stared out at Bokuto, like a child who had just gotten scolded. Then she turned and left the gym. Only she left. But once she was gone, that's when Aimi walked up to me.

"Hey Z," She was whispering, eyes shifting all around.

My eyes rolled. Clearly she's afraid to be around me, so why do it. To humiliate me more. "What do you want? You know you can stop pretending to be my friend."

"Pretending?" She asked, still so quiet.

"Yes, pretending. Like you pretended not to know what they were going to do to me last night?"

Tears tried to fight their way through my eyes, but I held it back.

"What did they do?"

"You should know, you were there," I couldn't even look at her, "You probably helped plan it didn't you?"

"Z, what are you-"

"Buses are here," Akaashi called out.

Perfect excuse to leave this moment. "Don't sit with me," I said, before taking off in a jog to the bus.

Right now, I desperately wish the girls and boys road together. But, no. I had to suffer. So I sat up front, and sat alone, and listened to the Rosa Parks jokes as everyone came in. Only, I had to pretend not to hear them. Day one of tournaments.

This will be one Hell of a day. "Hey coach, who are we playing?" I asked the coach, sitting with Hiro across the aisle from me.

She smirked a little as she said, "Your old team. Ouran Academy."