four - above everyone

before...

"I was looking through this whole house for you." I grab his face and lean into it, my lips fall right on top of his.

He kisses me softly, and I'm quick to send back the love. I've missed him, I hold the plate in my hand and watch as the candle burns between us. I found him in his office, looking occupied in something. He was writing something down when I opened the door to his study. Tommy was quick to put it away, but I shrugged it off and did as I usually did on his birthday.

Making my way towards him, I did a dance. One that he admired before I found a spot right on top of his lap.

"For a bit, I thought you'd forgotten about me." He says.

"Never." I wink.

Tommy breaks into a smile, filled with joy. "Aren't you going to sing me happy birthday?" He asks, leaning back into his seat.

He sits there admiring me, a smug look on that face of his. There is a slice of cake between us. Vanilla, with vanilla frosting, a hint of lemon zest. Captains orders. The candle sat in the cake burns.

I snake my free hand around his neck, I take a deep breath before beginning my song dedicated to my one and only. "Happy birthday to you," I begin, looking into those beautiful eyes. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Tommy, happy birthday to you."

He grins, looking back at me before shutting his eyes and blowing out the candle. He takes the plate of cake and puts it down, I wrap my arms around his shoulders now, leaning in.

"What'd you wish for, love?"

"Ahhh," He looked up, trying to hide that smile of his. "Nothin'." Tommy shakes his head.

"Tell me!" I laugh. He's so muscular now, it's dangerously hot. And he's aging quite well too. I lick my lips, Tommy's got his hands on my body, squeezing and caressing me.

"Why would I wish for anythin', Misty? I've got everything I need right here." He studies me before blushing. I put my hands on his face and smile at him. He's got everything he needs right here.

He tips me over and slowly leans in. "Now, time for dessert!" He growls, and I let out a laugh, getting lost in all of him.

...present day

"I can't fucking do this." My head drops in my hands. I drag out a breath, smoke oozing from my lips.

"Look," my one and only friend - even though that is a questionable word to describe Marcus, looks at me.

With his bald head and green eyes, Marcus is an older man who was a friend of Tommy's since I can remember. Marcus sits on the other side of the massive table, there is a pile of papers on my side, I had filled all of them out. Finishing signing my life away. I sit at Tommy's desk, it's weird to be at the head of it.

I run my fingers over his pen and I miss him. It was this chair that we were sitting in during his birthday. I lick my lips, wishing to feel his against mine again.

"Mrs. Shelby, are you listening?" Marcus says out of nowhere.

"Huh?" I ask. Raising my head.

"Tommy's appointed you leader for a reason." He starts, impatiently tapping his foot. "You'll do great."

I scoff, rolling my eyes. "Marcus, try saying that again, but this time try to sound less like you're lying."

"I'm sorry." He shakes his head. "You need to be able to do this. People are relying on you now."

I get up to stand and march over to the liquor. I pull out a glass and then remember Marcus and pour us some whiskey. "I don't know why he chose me."

"Tommy Shelby is a smart man-"

"Was." I fill my glass to the brim.

"Sorry?" He begs my pardon.

Walking towards him, I place his glass of whiskey before him. "Tommy Shelby was a smart man." I raise my glass up to my lips and take a long drink.

"Oh Misty,"

Flopping down on his throne-like chair, I sigh. Looking around his office, I shutter. "I feel like he's still here. With me. Did you get like that when you lost Amelia?"

"I feel like she's never left me to this day." Marcus replies. "I hear her, I sense her."

I fall flat. My heart breaking from inside out, I stare at Marcus, remembering the day of his wife Amelia's funeral. His welfare, his wife, his home gone. I lift my glass again and take a long  drag of the whiskey. It wastes of Tommy's lips, and to quench that taste for him, I go again. Dropping my shoulders as I begin to weep.

"What the fuck am I going to do without him, Marcus?"

"My dear." He gets up and walks towards me. With that, I feel Marcus's hands come down on my back, his other hand grabs the glass of whiskey in mine and puts it away. "Tommy, I assure you, is in a better place. And though he's left you, he's left you with an empire-"

I shake my head, tears rolling down my cheeks. "I never cared about the businesses or the money."

"He trusted you with the company and the money, Misty." Marcus replies. "He didn't trust his kin, but his wife. You need to take ownership of that position with dignity."

I pull back and wipe my eyes. "Oh God." He's right. Mrs. Shelby, now leader and owner of the Peaky Blinders and the Shelby Company Limited. Shelby! Petrified, I look up immediately into his eyes. "Do I still get to keep his name?!"

That worry on Marcus's face leaves and he smiles and nods, relieving me of any pain. "Of course, Mrs. Shelby."

"Oh." I look down at the ring on my finger. It relaxes me. The green emerald in the middle beams back at me. I drag the back of my hand over my wet face and sulk. "Jesus, I'm sorry Marcus. You don't have to stay here with me. I'll be fine."

"I know you will, Misty." He smiles and pulls away. "I always told Tommy he married the best person for him. You really knew how to pull the man away from his work and allow him the chance to live his life."

"I hope so." I nod, wanting to change the subject before my eyes watered again. I push my hands on the table and stand. Marcus puts on his coat. It's time to say goodbye, "I ought to get upstairs. We went to the morgue today and I feel like I've still got the shakes."

"Did you get to see him?"

I shake my head. "No, whoever killed Tommy made him physical alterations to his face. The forensic team suggested we don't see him."

"Christ." Marcus goes flat, his features fall. "Well before I go, I've got a box of things Tommy's left for you."

"What box?"

"It's in my vehicle, I've got to get it but you go on, I'll leave it for one of the housekeepers to fetch up to you."

"Okay."

We stand at the foyer, and I give him a hug. I think the last time I gave Marcus a hug was after the funeral. He holds me as close as I held him that day.

The old man embraces me near to his heart and gives me a peck on the cheek. "You're strong, Misty, don't forget that."

My smile trembles and I blink a tear. "Thank you."

Mary holds open the door for the lawyer to leave. "Oh!" He stops in between my house and the outside, "Might I suggest a dog?"

I look at Mary who looks at me. "Why do I need a dog?" I ask in a tired laugh.

"I got one when 'Lia passed. Keeps the house warm. They sense things in humans that is incredible. And they're good at protecting people. A good distraction too, keeps you occupied."

"I'll think about it." I tell him, knowing I have an answer in mind and it's a no. I begin to walk backwards. Waving, I finish with "Thank you, Marcus. For everything."

"Anytime, dear." He heads down the porch steps, disappearing in the foggy day.

"A dog." I look at Mary, walking towards the large spiral staircase. "Do you reckon I should I get a dog?"

"I think before getting a dog, you eat lunch. You're disintegrating before my eyes, Mrs. Shelby."

"I don't want a dog or lunch. I want my husband back." I mope up the stairs, clutching onto the staircase for my dear life. "I'll eat when I wake, I promise-"

"But Mrs. Shelby-"

"Please Mary, I'd appreciate some peace and quiet?"

"Alright, Mrs. Shelby." She sounds weary.

I crave a sleep so hungrily, that the moment my head hits the pillow, I fall into a deep, much needed slumber.