CHAPTER 42: Happy By Choice

A/N: Hey everyone! It's February, the month of love! (⌒0⌒)／~~(Not like it's got anything to do with this chapter. 😗)Anyway, I have been gine for a while, so here's a long chapter for you! I hope you enjoy it! 🤎💙

'I get what you mean, dobe...'

A tear traced a slow, delicate path down the raven's cheek and onto the page, smudging the ink a little. He sniffled as he slowly hugged the journal to his chest. However, his tears were not of sadness but of farewell. Naruto's words were transforming into the essence of hope that was now running through Sasuke's every nerve, making him leave his helplessness behind to welcome true euphoria.

'Maybe... I don't have to settle for this... this placid void of heaven. I... won't have to compromise my happiness.'

The realization was enough to make a wave of warmth rush through his veins.

'Maybe... I can start over again...'

A dream was taking root in his heart. He had dreamt of it before, too, but this time, something was different. This time, the dream appeared to be within his reach.

A small smile managed to make its way to his lips as he looked out the window and towards the sky, noticing how a flock of birds soared under the blissfully bright rays of the sun, enjoying the daylight and their freedom.

He wished to be one of them and own the sky with Naruto's warmth, accompanying him to every corner of the world like the sun.

'Maybe...'

He let out a breath as he stopped himself from wanting things that were too far-fetched. His grip on his journal loosened enough to let it fall onto his lap. Despite his plans of indulging in the beauty of freedom and happiness, his heart was plagued by the uncertainty of things between him and the blonde.

'Naruto... Will he... stay by my side through this? He already has enough to deal with... Will I just be another burden to him?'

Sasuke didn't want to lose the blonde at any cost, yet he was aware of the liabilities he carried with him. The physical trauma and emotional pain were a load that was both precious and heavy at the same time.

'He won't stay... would he? He'd leave eventually. Who would deal with me, anyway? I'm just a-'

Sasuke was snapped out of his thoughts when the door rattled open, revealing a panting Naruto behind it.

"Naruto..."

Sasuke couldn't help it as the name slipped from his lips in a whisper. His eyes never left the blonde, who had entered the room determinedly but stopped in his tracks when his gaze fell on the open journal on Sasuke's lap.

"Teme... you... you read it?"

He watched Sasuke carefully, trying to figure out what kind of reaction he was supposed to expect. He half-expected Sasuke to be extremely mad at him for reading his personal entries, but a part of him hoped that he wouldn't take it the wrong way.

However, the Uchiha just silently stared at him.

"Sasuke-"

"If it's void... it's not heaven."

"So you read it..."

"Hn."

A silence followed Sasuke's subtle confirmation, leaving Naruto nervous. Their eyes remained locked onto each other, acting as a medium for an unspoken conversation. But it wasn't enough. The blonde had many things to ask and even more things to tell. He wanted to wait for Sasuke to speak, but when the raven showed no sign of it, he eventually chose to be the one to break the silence.

"Ne, Sasuke, are you mad at me? I mean... I'm sorry; I shouldn't have read it."

Naruto wanted to explain how the journal helped him understand the raven, but he didn't want to sound like he was justifying his actions.

"I'm... really sorry, dattebayo."

Was all he said in a soft tone, painted in remorse as his head hung low.

"I'm not mad at you, dobe."

Sasuke finally spoke after a minute of contemplation, which felt like hours to the blonde.

"You're not?"

Naruto immediately looked up at the raven. However, what he saw made his heart skip a beat.

'He's... smiling. But why...?'

Naruto relaxed a little, but he was still unsure. He couldn't believe that he was being let off so easily. He took a deep breath, and in three long strides, the blonde was beside Sasuke. He hesitated before he gently took the raven's pale hand in his. His thumb rubbed soothing circles on the back of Sasuke's hand subconsciously as he spoke.

"Are you sure?"

"Hn."

"Teme... I'm asking seriously, dattebayo. Are you sure you've got nothing to say to me? Nothing at all?"

"Actually... there is something."

'I knew it.'

Was the first thought that popped into Naruto's mind as soon as those words left Sasuke's lips. His breath shuddered subtly as he nodded.

"Go on, tell me."

'I gotta pay up for being an asshole at the end of the day.'

His heart was sinking deeper by the minute as he braced himself, his grip on the other's hand tightening slightly.

"You... don't know how to write a journal. Really."

Sasuke spoke nonchalantly and slowly closed his diary, setting it aside. Naruto, who was expecting a dramatic lecture about the invasion of privacy, was left stunned. His expression was one of disbelief. However, as soon as he processed what the raven had said, he instantly switched to defensive mode.

"O-Oi! It's not every day I write in a diary, you know! A-and it wasn't that bad for a first, dattebayo! I bet you were worse when you began."

"The first page of my journal... that was my first time."

Sasuke's stoic reply was enough to shut Naruto up. He could only let out a defeated breath as his grip on Sasuke's hand loosened dramatically, allowing the raven to pull his hand back. The blonde knew he had his own talents, but journaling definitely wasn't one of them.

"Tch, fine. I suck at it. Happy?"

"Hn."

A small chuckle escaped Sasuke before he could stop it. The smug laughter would usually annoy the blonde, but it didn't have the expected effect on him this time. Instead, it caused Naruto to forget the playful insult the raven had just hurled at him. It wasn't a sound he hadn't heard before, and yet, he found himself becoming a willing captive to it. Again.

'How can anyone hurt him? He's so...'

The words died in his mind as he observed Sasuke's subtle happiness. His chest tightened, almost as if it were unable to contain the love he felt for the raven.

'I'll never let anyone wipe that smile off his face, dattebayo.'

Naruto promised himself.

He sat on the bed beside him, facing him. The raven's chuckle had already faded, but the smile hadn't. He sat back on his bed, thinking that the two were sitting in a comfortable silence, but the same wasn't true for Naruto. He was uncomfortable.

But in a good way.

Naruto's eyes refused to look away from the raven as he tried to gulp down the emotions that were threatening to spill out of him, but all in vain. His hands were starting to tremble almost unnoticeably as he tried to keep himself from giving in to his impulsive thoughts.

He drank in the beautiful features of the man before him: the ebony eyes, the perfect little nose, and those tempting lips.

His eyes observed the subtle curve of those lips and how they were slightly chapped. His heart ached at the little cut present on his lips, but the wound wasn't enough to drown the delicate beauty of them. The pink of them had faded a little, and the usual glossiness was absent; yet they were the most luscious pair of lips Naruto had ever seen.

'It would be so easy to just kiss them right now, wouldn't it?'

His heart fluttered at the thought of having his lips pressed against the raven's. His breaths were starting to become labored as nothing seemed to matter anymore; nothing except Sasuke.

'I wanna kiss him, dattebayo.'

Naruto's breath shuddered as he had to forcefully look away before he licked his lips almost subconsciously. However, looking away was hardly a solution, as the thought kept repeating itself in his mind like a broken record.

"Naruto...? Are you okay? You're spacing out."

The sound of his name seemed to temporarily break the chain of his thoughts. He turned to face Sasuke, who was looking at him with an almost worried expression. It was then he realized how ragged his breaths sounded in the silence of the hospital room. He was just glad that Sasuke didn't seem to take too much notice of it.

'I gotta calm down, damn it.'

Naruto closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath, but it did nothing to calm his nerves.

"Dobe... I'm talking to you. What are you thinking about?"

Sasuke asked again when he got no answer. He reached out to take Naruto's hand in his, making the other's breath hitch at the action. The blonde opened his eyes only to see the raven trying comfort him innocently, utterly unaware of how his every touch was causing a wave of desire to crash over Naruto.

"N-Nothing... just..."

Naruto hesitated.

'Ah... here it goes.'

He took a deep breath.

"Sasuke, I... I know there is a lot that we still need to talk about... so right now is not the best time. That's why I really tried to control myself, dattebayo. But I just can't anymore."

The blonde confessed, leaving Sasuke speechless. The raven stared at the man before him, his heart racing with anticipation, causing his cheeks to regain some color. He knew what was to come, but he wanted the blonde to hear it out loud.

"W-What can you n-not control?"

"My desires! Whenever I look at you, it's like time stops around me, and all I want to do is pull you close and... and... kiss you."

Naruto's voice lowered into a whisper by the end. He let out a nervous breath before he looked up, directly into those mesmerizing ebony orbs that were staring back at his bright cyan ones. He could see the acceptance in Sasuke, his flushed cheeks, and slightly uneven breaths being the evidence of it.

But he wanted to take it further at a pace Sasuke would be comfortable with. He wanted Sasuke to be in control of his choices for once.

"*gulp* Look, I... I won't force you to do it... you can pull away if you want to. I won't feel bad, I promise. So... I'm going ahead now."

That was all the blonde said before he slowly, very slowly began to lean closer towards the raven. His body grew warmer, and his palms were already sweating. His gaze drifted from those eyes he worshipped to the lips he so craved.

'Please don't pull away. Please don't pull away.'

He prayed in his mind as he closed his eyes, leaving the rest to Sasuke, who already knew what he was going to choose.

'Dobe... I was the one who stole a kiss from you first. What makes you think I'll pull away now, huh?'

Sasuke felt the palpable urge to bridge the tiny gap left between his lips and Naruto's. He closed his eyes too and leaned forward, meeting the blonde halfway.

Their lips touched in a tender, exploratory kiss, giving voice to their desires that had been burning for days on end. Their breaths mingled as they inhaled each other's scents, which calmed their minds and warmed their hearts.

The chaste kiss was a powerful union, conveying emotions in a silent yet bold manner. Somehow, it wasn't enough. The passion building within them flowed from one body to the other, lighting an inextinguishable fire inside them.

They both wanted more.

'But... am I allowed to have such freedom?'

Sasuke hesitated, afraid that once he gave in to his deepest, desperate desires, he wouldn't be able to let go of them. He was unaccustomed to this freedom of choice. His hesitance was felt by Naruto, who was aware of what this predicament felt like.

'Yes, you're allowed to.'

Naruto engaged in a silent conversation with the raven, expressing his words through his actions as he pressed his lips more firmly against Sasuke's.

'But what if I mess up?'

'Then I'll be here.'

'What if my past troubles me?'

'Then I'll hold you close.'

'What if you leave me?'

'I won't.'

'Promise?'

'Promise.'

Naruto's hands reached up to cup Sasuke's face gently. He moved his lips against the raven's like a slow, intimate dance that was an answer to Sasuke's insecurities, a vow to protect his vulnerabilities, and an act to claim his heart. His movements coaxed Sasuke's lips to move with them, and the raven couldn't help but slowly give in.

Their lips moved in harmony, and their hearts beat as one. The kiss was not only a testament to what was meant to be, but it was a simple glimpse of what the future would hold for them.

However, their desire was not above their biological needs. Hence, they reluctantly pulled away to breathe, resting their foreheads against each other. Their breaths were heavy, and their eyes were lidded with a plethora of emotions.

Naruto's thumbs caressed Sasuke's cheeks gently as he looked into his eyes, his own pupils dilating to inch out the blue.

"I love you, teme. Please... be mine."

Naruto's voice was husky as he whispered with quivering lips. He watched Sasuke carefully, noting how the Uchiha's eyes widened at his words.

'I hope he doesn't say no. Please, say yes.'

His heart raced frantically in that moment of raw vulnerability. He didn't want to overwhelm Sasuke, but at the same time, he didn't want to waste another second. Never in his life had he been so impatient for an answer before.

While the blonde manifested, Sasuke's heart had almost stopped beating. He wanted to immediately say yes, but he wasn't taught how to listen to his instincts. His heart felt heavy every time the word "yes" reached his lips.

He subconsciously began analyzing the pros and cons of it, feeling frustrated with himself.

'Tell him, Sasuke! How hard is it to say yes?!'

The Uchiha scolded himself as he looked Naruto in the eye, noting how he was waiting for his answer.

'What will Father think?'

A part of him that had trained itself to think of consequences screamed at him. However, before he could let his fears win, Naruto spoke again, as if reading his mind through his eyes.

"Sasuke, you can reject me if you want to, no matter the reason. But if the reason is going to be your-no, Fugaku, then it's really unfair, dattebayo. It's unfair for you. Just know that no matter what you do, do it for yourself from now on. You can stop worrying about the consequences you never deserved in the first place. You're allowed to be selfish. You can live for yourself now."

'And I'll stay by your side in whatever way you accept me: a friend or a lover.'

A tear managed to escape from Sasuke's eyes as he let the meaning of those words settle in.

"I... I am... I'm not yet stable. I'll be a handful to be with. Are you sure you're ready to take that risk?"

Sasuke asked self-deprecatingly, with Naruto understanding where this was stemming from.

"Risk? The real risk I took was being born. I took the risk of living in this godforsaken world. What I'm taking now is the essence of life that will keep me alive, dattebayo! And you're it."

Not a word was exaggerated by Naruto because that's exactly what Sasuke was to him. And Sasuke didn't need another word to decide what he was going to do.

"OK... if you'll have me... I'll be yours."

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as soon as the words left him. The emotions that flowed through him didn't feel as suffocating anymore. However, the best part of it all wasn't the relief he felt, but the smile he saw on Naruto's handsome face.

'Kami... I love that smile. I guess it's all worth it.'

He thought to himself as he subconsciously mirrored his smile, and before he knew it, he was being engulfed in the buff arms of the blonde in a careful yet heartfelt hug. Naruto buried his face in the crook of Sasuke's neck and inhaled his scent deeply as if it were a drug he couldn't keep himself away from.

"I promise, I'll never let anyone hurt you anymore, dattebayo. I'll never let you go again... never again."

The blonde's voice was muffled against the raven's neck, who was hugging him back, matching his level of passion, if not more.

"I know. I... I love you, Dobe."

He replied, causing Naruto to pull him even closer, wanting to merge their beings together if possible. Sasuke basked in the love he was showered with, overwhelmed by how loving his dobe could be, yet he found himself craving more of it.

"I love you more, y'know."

"Hn."

Sasuke smiled smugly to himself, knowing he had just annoyed his man with his reply.

'That's impossible, dobe. No one can love anyone more than I love you.'

A/N: This is it. I'm tired of how cute they are. Anyone else on this with me? 😌Anyway, I sincerely hope you liked this chapter and the little fluff. 🤭 It took me some time, yes, but I hope it was worth it. (^o^;)See you all in the next chapter!Author sound out~ ✌🏻