CHAPTER 25: The Aftermath

A/N: Hello people! I'll just warn you guys that there's mention of suicide and self-harm, but only initially. Anyways, you all are in for another surprise! 😊Enjoy people!

"After Sai's death, Naruto was a complete mess. He began having nightmares, panic attacks, and even hallucinations of Sai, which ultimately led to insomnia. It was almost like he forgot how to sleep. He stayed awake, afraid of his nightmares haunting him, but that didn't help either. The more he cut down on his sleep, the more time he had to overthink stuff.Predictably enough, he drowned himself in guilt and self-blame. He became depressed. But Naruto is someone who can't afford to hurt others; even the thought itself terrifies him. Yet he chose to shoulder the blame of Sai's death and ended up becoming suicidal. He would slit his wrists and try to hang himself to death, but every time, his parents or one of us found him and rushed him to the hospital. It was getting too much for everyone to handle, so his parents decided to take him for therapy sessions, but it wasn't easy to convince him. If it weren't for his godfather, Naruto would've probably succeeded in his suicide. Anyway, the therapy worked quite well. His psychologist was shocked to see the scars on his arms and wrists at first but gave him the right treatment. We all helped however we could, and it took him two years to overcome his trauma and guilt."

Kiba summarized it for Sasuke, who sat without uttering a single word during the entire narration. His eyes were barely holding back his tears from falling.

'Naruto... tried to kill himself...'

Even thinking about it hurt the raven. His heart felt heavy, as if someone was standing on his chest.

"Then- *gulps* Then, why does he still have panic attacks?"

Sasuke's voice cracked as he thought back on how tightly Naruto had gripped him, as if his life depended on it.

"Oh, that's only when he is severely triggered. Otherwise, he doesn't have this problem."

Shikamaru informed Sasuke, but both he and Kiba did not like the sight of such a broken-looking Sasuke. It hurt even them to see the raven's eyes brimming with tears.

"So why did he have one today?"

The very question that Shikamaru and Kiba were afraid of answering was now in the open. They looked at each other in hopes that the other one would reply to Sasuke, but none of them did. That's when Sasuke lost his patience.

"Tell me, now."

He said in a deep, eerie voice that sent a shiver down the spines of the other two. Sasuke was somewhat aware of the answer, but he still needed to listen to it from someone else. He needed a confirmation, and he needed it now.

"*sigh* Well, you've seen how Sai looks, so you should know that you and him look quite similar. So, it's possible that your appearance triggers some memories for Naruto. After all, you both like him, so of course, when you be good to him, he'll be reminded of Sai in one way or another."

Shikamaru reasoned without any filters, and that's exactly what Sasuke wanted. He wasn't shocked that they knew that he liked Naruto.

He even figured that he would never be able to come out of Sai's shadow in Naruto's eyes, but listening to it again just managed to break his heart even more.

The tears that he was holding back so desperately were now streaming down his face, and he was making no efforts to stop them. His face contorted into a pained expression as he clutched his sweatshirt over his heart. He was lucky that his bangs were hiding his face from the other two.

"I got it. You guys can go home. I'll take care of him."

Shikamaru and Kiba passed worried glances at each other but decided to listen to the raven. They trusted him that he wouldn't harm Naruto.

"Ok, but take care of yourself too, man. We'll leave Naruto in your care for now."

Kiba said as he and his lover stood up simultaneously and headed towards the door.

"Wait! I have one last request."

Sasuke called out to the two, causing them to halt just by the door.

They turned around to face the ravenette, who now had the usual stoic expression on his face.

"If Naruto doesn't remember, don't tell him anything that happened today. I mean it, DO NOT tell him that he mistook me for Sai."

Sasuke received an understanding nod from Shikamaru and a confused look from Kiba, who left the apartment the next moment.

As soon as Sasuke heard the door click shut, he let out the most heart-breaking sob as he fell on his knees. His tears were like an endless river. No matter how hard he breathed, the air was just not enough. His heart was racing so fast that it hurt, and his thoughts were all over the place.

'I never knew *sobs* that my heart could hurt this bad... Just how much do I love this dobe...'

Sasuke cried himself to sleep on the very floor where he broke down.

-×-×-×-

"Why did Sasuke say that?"

Kiba asked as they walked along the footpath in the cold night.

"Tch, that useless brain of yours is such a drag."

Shikamaru took a puff of his cigarette.

"Hey! PLEASE TELL ME!!"

Kiba screamed, probably alerting all the animals nearby.

"Shh! I'll tell you! Jeez! *sigh* We don't know if Naruto has an idea that Sasuke likes him or not. But, in case he does, then what do you think will happen when Naruto gets to know that he mistook Sasuke for Sai? He'll probably die of guilt yet again, thinking that he hurt Sasuke."

Kiba was left speechless at this. He now knew how considerate the raven actually was when it came to Naruto. His thoughts were interrupted by Shikamaru once again.

"You see, Sasuke's probably very hurt right now, but he believes that Naruto doesn't need another reason in his life to feel guilty."

*TIME SKIP, THE NEXT DAY~

It was already morning, and Sasuke woke up on the floor due to his feet going cold. His body felt sore as he supported himself in an upright position and stretched his limbs a little.

'My eyes hurt...'

He was rubbing the sleep away from his eyes when the very next minute, all memories of yesterday came flooding into his mind.

'Ah, shit... I have to make breakfast for him.'

Sasuke stood up and wobbled to the kitchen. His only focus was on taking care of Naruto. He now felt responsible for everything Naruto was going through.

'It's my fault, but I'll make it up to him.'

He thought and began working in the kitchen. He decided he would make ramen for the blond to cheer him up. He didn't have time to make the noodles from scratch, but he did make the soup all by himself.

"Time to wake him up."

He said to himself and headed to Naruto's room after he had set the table with ramen and a side dish to go with it. He silently opened the door and walked up to Naruto's bed.

'Tch... he shouldn't be looking like this.'

Sasuke's heart raced at the sight of the sleeping blond. He looked so peaceful, but his tear-stained cheeks were telling a different story. Naruto was in pain, and Sasuke knew it all too well.

Sasuke admired the sleeping figure of his favorite blond for a while. His tan features never ceased to amaze the raven.

'It's smooth...'

Sasuke wondered as he gently trailed his index finger along Naruto's jawline. He then traced the long, blond lashes embedded in his eyelids. He chuckled as he swept his hands along Naruto's beautiful whiskers that decorated his cheeks. Lastly, he stopped just an inch away from his lips.

'Shit...'

Sasuke wanted nothing more than to claim them, but he knew that he couldn't do it.

'A small peck shouldn't hurt, right?'

Sasuke gathered every bit of courage he could and leaned his face closer to Naruto's. He was so close to his face that he could feel Naruto's hot breath on his skin. His heart was racing a million miles a minute as his face flushed in pink.

'Just a little more...'

He shut his eyes tightly and gently pressed his lips over Naruto's. Fireworks burst in Sasuke's mind as he felt the texture of Naruto's lips over his. It was everything and more to the raven. He wished he could tell Naruto how much he loved him, how much he cared for him, and how scared he was for him. All through that small gesture.

He wanted to stay like this forever, but he knew he couldn't.

What he was doing was already pretty risky, so he quickly backed away from him and checked if Naruto was awake, who fortunately wasn't.

'Fuck... I just kissed him! I KISSED HIM!'

He was screaming inside his head. He was glad that Naruto was out like a baby, but a part of him wanted the blond to know that he had stolen a kiss from him.

He took a minute to calm himself down before he gently shook the blond awake.

"Hey, dobe! Wake up!"

Sasuke whispered near Naruto's ear, successfully waking the whiskered man up.

"Sai- Oh... It's you."

Naruto sounded almost disappointed, and it hurt Sasuke's heart to an unbearable point, but he didn't show it. Naruto was probably dreaming of Sai because of what happened yesterday, so obviously he would be disappointed if he didn't see him when he opened his eyes.

"Well, yeah, it's me, so deal with it. Y- You should be thanking me that I decided to stay and look after you, dobe. Also, hurry up-"

"Umm, Sasuke?"

Naruto interrupted Sasuke, who was talking, to make the situation a little less awkward.

"Hn?"

"I am sorry, but I need some time to myself today..."

Naruto was reluctant to ask the raven to leave him alone for the day, and Sasuke understood it pretty well. He wanted to cry out loud and scream about how suffocating it was for him, but he refrained from doing any of it.

"Ok. I get it."

Sasuke said and got up from beside Naruto to leave the blond alone.

"No, wait. I didn't want to be rude-"

"It's ok, Naruto. I get it. Whatever happened yesterday was uncalled for, and you probably need some time to sort out your thoughts. I'll come visit you tomorrow."

Sasuke spoke reassuringly with a small smile. He then picked up his stuff and left the blond alone with his thoughts in his apartment.

"Hah..."

Naruto sighed, somewhat skeptical about what happened just now when his thoughts were clouded with the events of yesterday night once again.

'I clearly remember it... Sai was here, with me... That hug... it was real. It felt so real...'

He thought to himself as he stood up to go and freshen up. He looked at himself in the mirror of the washroom, and his thoughts strayed away from last night to this morning.

His hands subconsciously reached for his lips. He trailed a finger over them as he remembered feeling something warm press against them just seconds before he was woken up.

'What was that? Was it a hallucination of Sai, again?'

He had no idea who else could feel so warm against his body. He didn't know whose lips, except for his dead lover's, could feel so perfect over his. Sai was the only one who had ever given Naruto such warmth; hence, he was the answer to Naruto's every question up until now.

After his morning routine, he stepped out of his room and was hit with the aroma of ramen. He followed the delicious scent to the kitchen, where on the table, he saw his favorite dishes laid out for him.

*THUMP*

That's when it hit him. Sasuke had made him breakfast and was there to wake him up so that he could eat something.

A pang of guilt arose inside of him as he remembered how he had driven the raven out of his house just moments ago. He felt emotionally drained, and his thoughts were in a mess, yet he couldn't help but think of how cozy it felt when he was hugging the raven last night.

'Shit... Sasuke... What do I do with you?'

A/N: It was such a stressful kiss...🥺We all gotta thank Sasuke for his courage! He gave us a kiss scene!!(* ' ▽ ' *)In any case, this chapter was an emotional roller coaster of its own, or that's what I think. What about you all?By the way, I forgot to mention it earlier, but if any of you is suffering from depression or any such symptoms, please seek help before it's too late. Trust me, going to a psychologist or a psychiatrist for help is not embarrassing at all!Anyway, see you all in the next chapter!Author sound out ~✌🏻