epilogue

It had been so many years, so many years since the day you dreaded with your whole entire life, about 12 years had passed and you were no longer the smart–mouthed 17 year old stepping into stayzone hoping to heal.

You were happily married to a Japanese-korean male named Sakanoue Keito who was more than happy to use the last name you went by when you two got married. A year after you two got married Keito insisted you take that year to heal from your trauma.

Keito was sweet, understanding and overall the greatest thing that happened to you after stayzone. He'd listen to your frustrations, lend you a hand when you needed it, insisted on paying for your therapy and more even when you were basically a nepo baby, comfort you at night when you had bad dreams and support you like the loving husband he was.

A bit after that you two were ready to start your own family believing you needed something to fully focus on to help distract you from your fears, a cute baby girl was born a mixture of Keito and you although your genes did not give his a chance as your baby girl was a literal copy of you.

She was the cutest little thing you've ever seen, from the moment you held her you knew your world would change for the better. Lily. Your creation reminded you of the woman who kept you somewhat sane in the prison you were in, someone who didn't learn to cherish until it was too late.

"Her middle name is Lily?" Keito had asked with a smile as he sat next your tired self as the nurses attended to your new born Hyerin

"Like the flower?"

"You could say that"

You loved Hyerin with your whole entire being, she was cute, cuddly, chaotic, loud and overall a bundle of joy that exceeded the Adhd spectrum to another level of something you didn't know.

She grew up to be this humble young girl that you protected from everything you could,but what was there to protect her from other than yourself?

You loved Hyerin so much you started feeling as if she'd be a lot happier without you, you were the cause of most of her problems, she'd cry to you after school on how she was outcasted because of how people perceived her 'psycho' mother. She repeatedly ramble on how she didn't view you that way until she was limp and asleep in your hold and you knew that.

You knew that Hyerin loved you, you were basically her best friend other than being her own mother, you were her happy place. Her  doppelganger who was a lot older, her favourite person, her walking diary, the reason she and her father where smiling daily.

You just couldn't keep it up anymore.

You knew what it was like losing a parent, you knew that trauma that came with,yet you still popped the lid open. You didn't want your baby girl going through that especially at such a young age, she was turning 12 soon for crying out loud. Yet you emptied the little digits into your palm into some fell onto the floor. And Keito? God, the love of your life, the man who put you and Hyerin first before everything else , what about him? Such a thing would damage such a sweet soul and you knew it, he was such a strong yet vulnerable soul you knew he wouldn't he able to handle loss very well.

Yet you forced them all into your mouth."I'm sorry,I'm sorry, I'm sorry" your thoughts rang over and over and over again as yournbody convulsed under the huge dosage trying to make you gag them out but you kept your mouth shut even though it hurt. They were going to hurt a lot more than you, you were selfish, you were so fucking selfish

And that's all you thought as you saw the panicked figure of your daughter running towards your convulsing body crying and screaming out to the walls for help. "Just please, don't end up like me" you thought to who knows as your life flashed before your eyes.

"Dad... is mom going to be okay?" Your daughter said as the ambulance drove infront of the car she was sat in which was driving towards the hospital

Too focused on not trying to lose his wife to suicide and the panic growing within him he kept his eyes glued to the road not answering her at all.

"Dad?"

"..."

"Is mom going to be okay?"

"..."

"Why did she–"

"..."

"Is it because of me?"

"..."

"Dad? Are you ignoring me"

"..."

"Daddy"

"..."

"Did she do it because of me?"

"..."

"Daddy please answer me"

"..."

"Daddy please—"

"God, Hyerin!" He slammed his hand against the steering wheel making his daughter flinch and gasp a bit before he side not looking at her as he focused on driving "I'm sorry,I'm just.. not in the best spirit right now okay baby? I didn't mean to yell at you I promise, I'm sorry" he apologised but his words just started feeling empty.

"Okay... I understand"

"What's your name little one?" The brunette xy chromosome questioned the little girl who looked to be about 11 - 12 years old  "my name?" She said with a breathy tone seemingly in a rush somewhere.

"Uh... my name is" she blinked pausing for a second like she had forgotten who she was. "Why am I here?" She questioned the older male who let out a soft chuckle.

"Well little one, your father informed me that you're in need of someone to talk to and I am more than willing to be that person" he smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back, his tone reminded him of her mothers, it was kind.  Genuine and warm.

Warmth she wanted to dive into

"My name is Park Lily  Hyerin" she giggled "my mother said she gave me the name lily cause she had a best friend with that name that she loves dearly and I love the name too, I love Lillies" the younger girl said as her legs swung back and forth as she yapped on

"You can tell me all about your mother sometime too yeah?"

"I will. My mom was the best although she was scary when she was scared , she was sweet and she baked the sweetest treats ever, whenever daddy baked she'd make sure to hide the ones he baked when dishing up and replace with her own so he would think he was good at baking when they tasted really bad" laughed Hyerin as the man she spoke to jotted down a few things before mirroring her facial expression.

"You mentioned she was scary when she was scared? What happened?" He adjusted his glasses leaning back on his chair

"Daddy said that Mommy had a past that scared her and that's he was trying to heal from it. Kids in school bullied me since my mom didn't have a hand but i loved her regardless because she's my mom"

"I'm glad you didn't let their negative comments affect you Hyerin" he smiled at her "your healing journey will be starting with me today okay? I know it hasn't struck yet but finding your mother in that way must've done something to you but wherever she is I know she's sorry for it."

"I know" she smiled "I miss her a lot and daddy said I could trust you and that stayzone will help me heal"

"It sure will" he smiled and she didn't notice the hidden Intent behind that smile of his.

"Ahjussi... what's your name?" She asked in a sweet voice as he lead her to the front desk to get her assigned to a level and room  "my name?" He huffed amused rolling up one of his sleeves showing a few healed burnt marks on his arm that worried her a bit but she didn't mention anything as she looked at the paper she was given and in bold was—

Park Lily Hyerin Yellow – level 2No. 143

"You can call me Channie" he said dropping formality with a wink as he lead her up.

"You look a lot like your mother"

"You knew my mom?"

"..."

"You could say that"