- Chapter Twenty One -

When the door swings open and I see Haymitch's familiar face, I practically attack him with questions. My mother left me hours ago and hasn't checked on me since, leaving me clueless and wondering. My head and stomach in unbearable pain. Almost throwing up multiple in the bucket that was left for me. So much time to tie knots in my rope. The rope that keeps me sane. There were many moments where I was so close to jumping out of bed and sprinting out of the room. Scavenging the entire district to find Peeta. But I knew from my previous attempts to sit up and grab my water that this wouldn't have ended well. My vision went and I couldn't hear anything for a good 10 seconds. In this state, I wouldn't have stranded a chance getting up, let alone walking.

"Where is he? Is he okay? Where's Peeta?" I jump. My voice is still in pain, but it's a lot better than before considering the hours of silence and rest that I've had.

"He's okay. He's in the hospital," Haymitch slurs. The hospital? How? Why? What happened to him? So many questions buzz around my head and I can't seem to focus on anything other than Peeta. It's crazy how he can just take over my mind like he does.

Haymitch walks over to me and sits himself down at the foot of my bed. I hug my legs to my body so he had more room to get comfortable. He doesn't move, though. All he does is look at me. It relaxes me to see that he doesn't have a sense of urgency. Or worry. He doesn't seem stressed or concerned. And what I can tell by this is that Haymitch is either drunk, or Peeta is actually alright. I'm going to go with both.

Before I can speak, I have to think about every single question that I have and try to sort out the good ones from the bad ones. This takes a little while, leaving Haymitch confused and impatient. I finally come to a conclusion that my most important question is about the wedding. About Today. About me and Peeta. And Gale.

"What... What happened today?" I finally ask.

"You seriously don't remember?" He says, giving me a look like I'm stupid. I immediately frown but he just laughs. I can't believe him sometimes "It was pretty unforgettable."

"No, Haymitch, I don't remember. And if I did remember I wouldn't be asking for a recap!" I snap. Maybe this was a little harsh. But I figure I'm allowed to be harsh after the most important day of my life was ruined.

"Sorry," he whispers. He knows he shouldn't be joking with me right now.

"It was Gale. He wanted you to go off with him. Get married. Have kids. Like everyone always thought you would." Haymitch mumbles slowly, probably trying not to freak me out too much. But I'm not freaked out. This is what Gale has wanted since day one. There's nothing new here. "He started fighting with Peeta for taking you away from him, and soon Peeta was fighting too. After a lot of "discussing," you may call it, Gale went up to you and tried to... kiss you, Katniss."

Now I'm freaked out. Gale tried to kiss me. He tried to kiss me. I never thought I'd have to string those five words together. And I never want to again. All I do is breathe. Over and over. In through my nose. Out through my mouth. Faster and faster each time. Gale. He tried to kiss me.

"But he didn't!" Haymitch interrupts, trying to keep me calm. "He didn't kiss you, Katniss! Peeta wouldn't let him!"

Of course. I should have known.

"He pulled Gale up close by the collar and started saying who-knows-what. I wasn't really listening. I was too busy watching Peeta get madder and madder... He was like a-"

"A monster," I finish. "He gets like that when he's scared of losing me."

"Well then he must have been terrified, sweetheart. I've never seen your sweet boy so angry before." Haymitch smirks.

I can't help but smile at this. Not because of Gale. Definitely not because of Gale. His return makes me want to do nothing but cry. I don't smile because of me. Or Haymitch. I don't even smile because of my wedding. I smile because, even during these awful times, it's extremely reassuring to know that Peeta still loves me. And that I stilllove him.

"After a lot more comebacks being thrown around," Haymitch continues, rolling his eyes, "You finally went up to Peeta to defend him. After Gale told you to stay out of it, and after you rudely told him to leave, he... hit you. Hard. Hard enough for you to pass out on the spot."

Gale hit me. And I'm freaked out again. I slowly and carefully move my hand to my head and find the painful injury covered by thick layers of gauze. Gale caused this? It's insane to even consider. Even after Gale's damage was done to the capital and my sister, I would never imagine him hurting me. His best friend for years. The love of his life. And at the time when he wanted my love most, he hit me. And if he hurt me I can't imagine what he's done to Peeta. Peeta! I need to get to him right now!

I get up quickly, causing Haymitch to choke on my water that he was drinking without permission. I should stop and make sure that he's okay. But I need Peeta. Now. I run down the stairs, tripping more than a couple times, and hear Haymitch's loud footsteps following me. But I'm running. Like I did in the games when I heard that gong go off. Haymitch can barely keep up with me. But he does. He's been in the games too. He knows how to run from danger. Running after danger must be pretty easy for him as well.

I trample outside and immediately hear the hollow sound of my porch being stepped on. Haymitch can only grab my shoulders and stabilize me when I have to stop due to nausea. I lean over, holding my own hair back, waiting for the vomit to come out of me. It takes a while before it does. The time I take between throwing up, though, allows me a good observation of the town. Of all the ants walking through it. I remember when I did this before. A couple weeks ago. When I watched Effie turn from her outgoing self into just one of the hundreds of people out there.

This makes me realize that Gale could be out there. Right now. Hiding among the other people. And if never know it. I'd never be able to distinguish him from the rest of the ants scurrying around the town, as if they're busy. I'd never be able to recognize Gale's chiseled features and perfectly combed back brunette hair. From here, no one would ever be able to know the horrible and disgraceful things that a single ant has done.

"Haymitch," I cough. "Never trust perspective."

~•~

I hold my sweaty hand on the cold door knob. I ran as quickly as I could to get here, but now that I've arrived, I'm a little nervous. Peeta is on the other side of this wall. Probably waiting for my arrival. But I don't know if I'm ready for what I'm about to witness. I can't handle seeing Peeta injured. I can't even handle seeing him stub his toe. And I know Gale must have done a lot more damage than that.

I figure that I must look ridiculous. Standing in a blindingly white hallway. Head wrapped in gauze. Grasping a door knob for dear life. No one next to me. Haymitch left my side when we reached the entrance of the hospital. Probably to get some alcohol. I didn't have the patience to wait for him and I needed to know that Peeta was okay. And I still do. I just don't seem to have the energy in me to open the door.

"Excuse me, Ms. Everdeen," a female voice says from behind me. I snap my head around, jumping at the sudden noise. I thought I was alone.

I look the woman over. She's tall and skinny. Like most people in 12. Her silky back hair is in a tight bun, which keeps itself in place with a large brown clip. Her presence definitely isn't welcoming and I find myself slowly backing away from her. Katniss, stop. What am I, a child? This woman is just a person like me. I'm guessing she's a nurse by the vial in her hands filled to the brim with a foggy white liquid. It must be medicine. Peeta probably needs that. And my stubbornness is keeping it from him.

When I bravely open the door, Peeta practically chokes on his water. After I'm sure that he's alive and breathing, I smile so wide that I begin to cry. I don't know how I feel right now. Happy that Peeta's alive. Sad that he's hurt. Devastated that Gale is back and could crush everyone and everything that I've ever loved in less than a second. What am I saying? He's already done that. I just don't want Gale to crush me.

As soon as the nurses leave, I slip into the hospital bed with Peeta. His body lying next to mine just feels so right. So natural.

"I'm so sorry," Peeta whispers. His voice sounds so different than usual. Gone. Like mine.

I scoot closer to Peeta, which only causes him to wince in pain. I quickly move back. I must have gotten too close to his injured leg. I start apologizing, but he just cuts me off.

"No, Katniss. I'm fine. It was my fault."

"No! None of this is your fault, Peeta. None of what happened today was because of you," I say, staying completely still. I don't want either of us to be in any more pain than were already forced to endure. It's just not worth it.

"I know it's just... I wanted today to be the day that we got married. It would have been perfect. I wanted today to be the day that you became a Mellark. Left the name Everdeen and everything that comes with it behind. And that includes the games. I don't know. Maybe I'm not making any sense but-"

"No," I interrupt. "I get it. Completely, actually."

What I get is this. The name Everdeen comes with a lot of responsibilities. It comes with being the girl on fire. The mockingjay. The victor of the 74th annual hunger games. One of the star crossed lovers of district 12. A rebel. A hero. And all of that is just way too much for a single girl to have to carry around on her shoulders. Becoming a Mellark guarantees happiness and a new life. A husband and a loving family. And that, for everyone that doesn't know, is all that I could ever ask for.

"Everything just... glowed today. Everything was just so beautiful. And there is only a certain amount of beautiful days that a single person has the chance to experience. I wanted our wedding day to be one of those days," Peeta explains.

He's right. Today was breathtaking. Little things like grass were the perfect texture and shade. Each step felt like hundreds of little kisses on my feet. The wind wasn't noticeable. A warm breeze. Not nearly strong enough to tamper with someone's hair or dress. Even the sky was the perfect color blue. The kind of sky that my father and I used to stare at for hours. When pointing at the clouds and recognizing them as silly characters and shapes was amusing. And when I could tell the fluffy white figures to dance and play whenever I wanted. When imagination was anything and everything.

I just wish the entire duration of the day could have stayed as perfect as it was. I swear as soon as Gale stood up in that audience, dark gray clouds rolled in covering the bright son. The glimmer of the dandelions sprawled across the clearing faded to none. The magic was gone. And so was my happiness.

"Yeah..." I agree.

"Your voice," Peeta smiles. "Mine's gone too. Annoying, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I whisper looking down at my my nails. They're painted a subtle rose pink color. From a distance, you wouldn't even be able to tell if they were done. Each nail is in perfect condition except for one. My thumb. A slight chip in the polish is present in the upper right corner. I pick at it, increasing the size of the flaw, and look back up at Peeta, "So why are our voices gone?"

Peeta frowns. "We did a lot of... fighting today, Katniss. We were both a little upset."

"A little?" I tease.

"A lot," he admits. "And it was mostly me that was getting mad. Gale wanted to marry you. Kiss you. Have children. And when I saw the spark in your eyes that could only mean that you agreed with him ... I exploded. I couldn't help it. I just exploded."

"Peeta!" I snap, "Are you serious? I will never leave you. Not for anyone. How many times have we been over this?"

I feel like I'm attacking him, so I stop. He looks at me with a glint of pain in his eyes.

"I just don't want you to run away with Gale. Leave me in district 12. Die alone and never be able to see your beautiful face again..."

"Where are you getting this from?" I cut him off. "What makes you think about this? I'm right here! And I'm not going anywhere!"

"Every dream I've ever had since the games, Katniss," Peeta answers, raising his voice. "Is about losing you. Every night is complete and utter torture. And waking up to my dreams coming true is my worst fear!"

No one speaks after this. We just think. About what? I don't know. About today. About the wedding. About us. And then I realize what Peeta was saying.

"Your nightmares came true today," I say absentmindedly. He looks at me and nods. I must look like such an idiot.

"I-I'm sorry-" I begin.

"Don't. You're right. Gale hurt me. And he hurt you," Peeta mumbles, gently placing his hand on my injury, "Does it hurt?"

"Don't worry about me," I shake my head. "You're worse."

Peeta stares at me with his mouth open, trying to come up with a good reason to disagree with me. But he can't. My head is okay. I'm okay. Just really nauseous. My head and stomach drop every time I take a breath. But I'm not the injured one today.

"Can I see?" I ask, lifting up the thin sheet separating us from the rest of the world. "Where he hurt you?"

"Yeah," Peeta breathes, carefully scooting his leg out into the cold hospital hair. He takes deep a breath as he slowly unwraps the thick bandage encasing his wound.

"Wait Peeta," I say, grabbing his hands, "Are you allowed to do that? Take the gauze off?"

He shrugs in reply. "They got the bleeding to stop a few hours ago. Some Capitol medicine. I don't see how giving my leg some air could hurt."

I remove my hands from his, turning my head towards the other direction. I don't want to see him hurting himself. For me. Again. I trust him, but I still don't think he's making the best decision. If he thinks it's alright, though, I'm okay with it. Mostly.

"Oh. It hasn't gotten much better," Peeta mumbles, probably trying not to upset me. I snap my head in his direction and immediately scan his leg. A long, thin cut begins at his mid thigh. He's right. The bleeding did stop. But there's still plenty of dry blood present on his upper leg. The injury ends just above his knee. It's not a huge wound, but it's deep. Extremely deep. And I can't imagine what Gale could have done to cause that.

"What? Peeta, what did he do?" I yell, moving his hand from the wound. This is unacceptable. How many people does Gale have to hurt to get his point across?

"Katniss, it's no big deal-" Peeta says, dodging my eyes.

"No!" I interrupt, "What happened?"

Peeta sighs. "After Gale hit you... I attacked him. I shouldn't have. But I did. I'm stronger but he's... way more powerful. He shoved me off of the gazebo and I cut my leg on the corner of one of the chairs. It was sharp. Really... sharp. Almost fell on top of Flynn. After I hit the ground everything went black. But not before I saw Annie and her little boy crying in each other's arms."

"Flynn wasn't hurt, right?" I ask. This might seem a little dumb, considering Peeta's the one in the hospital. But he doesn't seem to mind. He cares about Flynn just about as much as Annie does.

"He's okay. But I just missed him. It was so close..."

As Peeta says this, I realize something horrible. If Gale had pushed Peeta any differently, Flynn would have been seriously injured. Dead even. Gale would have been responsible for two of my loved one's deaths. Two of my favorite children gone in a second. He's already killed one of them. Prim. My only sister. My only family, other than my mother. If she even counts as family. I always thought Gale didn't mean harm. I always believed that he just caused it unintentionally. But now I know that Gale is destructive on purpose. He wants to do the awful things that he does. And I can never forgive him for that.

I watch as Peeta wraps up his injury in the thick layer of gauze. His injury. It's worse than I could have ever imagined. I still can't believe Gale caused it. It just doesn't click in my mind. There's no way Peeta will be able to walk on that for months. Which also means we won't be able to be married for months.

"We'll just have to postpone. The wedding," I frown.

Peeta looks out the window. I know he's listening. But he doesn't look it. His eyes are blank. They don't look as bright and lively as they usually do. Kind of like my mother's when she leaves. When she disappears from reality. Peeta's probably crushed. All he wanted was to be my husband. All he wanted was me. The guarantee that we'd be together. Forever.

I'm pretty upset too. I was ready to become a Mellark. I was ready for a change. Being an Everdeen comes with just too much stress. I can't imagine how my mother has done it for all these years. I wanted all of that stress to leave me today. But I'll just have to wait a little while longer.

"No," Peeta says. I jump at the sudden noise and look right into his eyes.

"No what?" I reply.

"I can't wait anymore, Katniss Everdeen. I need the promise that you'll be mine forever," Peeta exclaims.

"What do you mean?" I ask, taking Peeta's hand in mine. I give it a squeeze and wait for him to continue talking.

"Katniss. Call the nurses. I'm marrying you today. Right here. Right now."

I hope you enjoyed! Be sure to vote, comment, and follow me! Thank you!

-Melanie 🦁