Chapter 16 The Singer

“Abruptly the poker of memory stirs the ashes of recollection and uncoversa forgotten ember, still smolderingdown there, still hot, still glowingstill red as red.”            - William Manchester

 

Emma

 

I actually enjoyed myself today, even though I was a nervous wreck at the beginning. It’s not like I trust him now, I still think he could be tricking me, but he does have a calming effect. I’m not sure if that’s how all Souls are or if it’s just him. I didn’t feel at ease with the Souls working in the shops, but that might be just because I don’t know them. I mean, I have spent quite some time with Burns. I’m used to having him around. So it’s different with him.

Just like last time, he made sure we were back inside before dark. Even if he has ulterior motives, I’m still grateful for that.Now I’m staring at myself in the mirror in my room, trying on my new clothes. My room. The concept is still strange to me and I’m surprised at how easily I accepted it. My room. My bed. My mirror. My house. But not home. Home is not a place for me, but a time. When life was still as it is supposed to be. A time where I went shopping with my friends. I smile at the memory. And afterwards we would have ice cream across the park. I wonder if the shop still exists.

There’s a knock on the door and Burns peeks around it. I meet his eyes in the mirror and try to discover the silver behind it, but in the light of the room it’s not visible. He could pass for a  human any day if only he wasn’t so clueless.“Nice,” he says when he sees my new clothes and he walks further into the room. I give him a vague smile.“Don’t you feel better now?” he says, “with new clothes?”“I guess,” I answer. My mom would have a heart attack if she saw me in these nameless jeans, but I couldn’t care less. They’re dry and warm and comfortable and they don’t have rips in them like the ones I wore before. “Thanks,” I say again.That’s the second time I’ve thanked him now. Not really how I imagined things to be. I mean, his kind practically destroyed my kind. But I am grateful and I suddenly realize I’ve never really felt that way before. Of course I’ve said thank you in the past. I’ve thanked my parents and my friends when they bought me presents. I’ve thanked Sara for making me meals. But those are automatic responses. I’ve always taken things for granted.

This time it’s different. “You’re welcome,” Burns smiles warmly. He takes a deep breath. “When you wake up tomorrow, don’t worry when I’m not there. I have an appointment. But I should be back around noon.”“Oh… okay.” I fight the upcoming ping of disappointment. Wait. That can’t be right. Why should I feel disappointed? Unease is more like it. Yes. That must be it. A mischievous glint is in his eyes. “You shouldn’t even notice my absence. You like to sleep in, isn’t that right?” There’s a teasing tone to his voice, reminding me of someone else, but I shake off the thought.“So?” I try to keep my voice casual, “I can sleep if I want to.”“Of course you can. I’m just telling you so you don’t get scared when I’m not there.”I open my mouth for some smart retort, but snap it shut when I see his innocent smile. “Not taking the bite,” I growl.

He chuckles. “Good night, Emma.”I have to touch my face to make sure the smile I see on my reflection is really there.It is.

***

For the first time in days, I wake up in silence. It’s funny how quickly you get used to situations. Like I’m used to waking up to Burns making breakfast in the kitchen. But when I get downstairs I’m alone. Just as he said. There’s a note on the table reminding me he’ll be back by noon and that I can take whatever food I want. Things feel so normal.When the phone rings, I pick up without giving it much thought. As soon as the ‘hello’ leaves my lips I want to smack myself.“Uh… hi,” a make voice says in the other side, “I think I called the wrong number. I was looking for my friend Burns.”My breath stocks for a moment. How could I have been so stupid? How easy I grew comfortable here. How could I forget this world is no longer mine.

“No, it’s the right number,” my voice squeaks, “he’s out.”“Oh. I see,” the voice answers, “so…. he has a roommate now.” He sounds amused, “and quite a lovely one by the sound of it. I’m Has Fur Like Scales, but you may call me Scales. What’s your name?”“E-emma,” I stutter.“A human name,” Scales muses and I tense up. “Cute,” he continues, “so how did you two meet? I have to say, I was waiting for the moment he would find his partner. He’s a great guy.”Wait? What? Partner? My brain is malfunctioning. “Huh?” I squeak. “Oh come one Em. Can I call you Em?”“Eh… sure?” My hands are trembling. What did I get myself into now? Frantically I try to remember if Burns has told me anything about other planets. Something I can use. Some convincing lie I can tell this Scales so he’ll think I’m a Soul.“So, tell me. How did you meet?”“I uh…. In the f-forest.” Always stay close to the truth when you lie. It’s something I heard once, though I can’t remember where. “I was… h-hiking and he uhm… did research on… s-something.”“Must have been some meeting that you decided to stick around.” He chuckles and I feel my cheeks burn at his suggestion. I thought all Souls were like Burns, but Scales is more like Blake.“I ehhh…” I stutter.Scales laughs. “Alright. I won’t tease you anymore. But now I know you exist I’ll have to drop by soon. I’m dying to meet you. Tell Burns to give me a call, okay? So we can set a date.”No. That’s the last thing I need. But my voice is not in sync with my brain. “Yeah sure. I will.”“Great. It will be fun meeting you in person. Can’t wait. Take care Emma.”“Yeah… you too…” I stare at the phone for several minutes after he’s hung up. What just happened?“Morning,” Burns’ voice says behind me. It takes me a moment before I can get my body to react and turn towards him. He smiles at me while he takes off his coat. A whiff of cold emerges from him from being outside. “Have you been up long?” he asks and then he notices the phone in my hand. “Who did you call?” He eyes me confused.“No one,” I say, “your friend called.”His eyes grow wide. “Ocean?” “No. the other one… Scales.”“And you answered?” He sounds surprised.“Automatic response,” I say sheepishly.He nods at me. “Okay. I’ll call him back. But first… I have something for you.” “For me?” Why would he get me something? And why all this secrecy? “Yes,” he says and takes my hand to drag me to the hallway. “I saw you look yesterday and I thought you might enjoy playing so I went back this morning and picked it up.”I stare at the guitar that is leaning against the wall and I feel my eyes water. “Y-you don’t like it?” he asks startled when he sees my face.“I… it’s… thank you,” I manage to get out. My fingers stroke the neck of the guitar. “So… you do like it?” “Yes. I like it. But you didn’t have to do that.”He shrugs. “You said you liked to play. I want to hear it. If that’s alright with you. You don’t have to play just because I asked.”“Oh,” I say, “sure, but I only know human songs.” I bit my lip after that. Are there Soul songs?“That’s alright,” Burns smiles.“I can’t really sing that well though,” I warn him. Not that I sing off-key. I can sing. But I’m just average. Burns chuckles softly. “I consider myself warned.”“Hey!” I protest, “it’s not that awful!”“Well then. Play something.” “What? Now?” “Whenever you’re ready. No pressure.” He smirks at me. “I’m gonna call back Scales okay?”I bite my lip. I had already forgotten about that. “Don’t worry,” he says, “I won’t tell him you’re human if you don’t want me to.” “You’d lie to your friend?” I stare at him in shock, “I thought Souls didn’t lie.” “I’d do it without lying,” he says, “like I did with Thru.” He smiles at me. “Promise.”I nod. “Okay.”“I’ll be right back.” And he disappears into his study.I turn to the guitar and pick it up. It’s a good quality guitar and I take it with me to the living room to tune it. It’s been a while since I played and it takes some time to remember all the grips. I can hear Burns talking on the phone in the other room, but I can’t make out the words. I do hear him laughing every now and then. He seems more relaxed than when he’s talking to me. I can tell they are good friends and I suddenly feel very lonely. It doesn’t matter if I learn to get along with Burns or how to trick Souls into believing I’m one of them, because I will always be alone. It makes me think of all the things I should have done in the past. Open up more to people, be more grateful towards my parents, give Blake a chance at being my friend. Tell my parents how much I love them.

I miss Ashley’s company and her laughter that could always cheer me up. We could talk for hours.My fingers pluck the guitar strings and I remember the bonfires we used to make with some of our friends.Burns’ laughter fades into the background and there is just the music. I had forgotten how much I loved to play. My hands find the right rhythm and now move on their own. One ping for everyone I’ve lost, slowly turning onto a tune I can remember from long ago. And strangely enough it gives me a piece of my life back, because I suddenly remember something else.My father loved to listen to my music. Whenever I was playing he would open the door to his study so he could hear me play while he was working. And I remember him once telling me he took one of my tapes with him in the car on his way to work. He did that for me even when I’m not that talented. How could I have forgotten something like that? Why do you always remember the bad things before the good?Even my mother always enjoyed it when I played, though she preferred hearing the piano. I wish I had practiced more. I think it would have made her happy. But it’s too late for regret.