Chapter 9 The Misunderstood

“We do not see things as they are.

We see them as we are.”

- The Talmud

 

 

Emma

 

I know this room. That’s the first coherent thought after I open my eyes. Though it does take a while before I realize where I am. It’s the room where I woke up after that soul found me. I fly up and look around bewildered, but no one’s in the room with me. It’s then that I realize something else. The world isn’t swirling and my headache is gone. So is the fever.

 

I actually feel fine. How long have I been out? How did I get here?There’s a glass of water on the nightstand and I gratefully empty it. I frown when I see y arm is covered by a sleeve that is clearly not mine and when I look down I see that the clothes I’m wearing  are not my own. They are too big and male. Probably his clothes, but strangely enough I’m not bothered by it. These clothes are warm and dry and I know he hasn’t violated me. I do feel a little awkward about a boy undressing me, but I’m not scared. Not scared of that at least. There are enough other things to be afraid of and my first priority is getting out of here. I’m not as stupid to think I can walk out the front door like before, but there has to be a way.

But I do have questions. Why am I here? How did he find me? And most of all… why am I still human? Carefully I climb out of bed and test my legs. When they hold my weight, I make my way downstairs, carefully making sure not to make a sound.

I smell soup I think. That means he’s in the house. I listen closely, but there are no voices. Maybe it means he’s alone. Maybe I have a chance to get away after all.

I find him in the living room. Or better said, I stumble upon him, because I was trying to slip away without being seen. He has his back towards me, but he still must have heard me, because he turns around. And I am unable to move once again, my eyes wide as they fixate on him, ready to jump if he makes any sudden movement. I can feel my heart trying to make its way out of my chest. I’m sure he can see it.He stares at me in the same fashion, but doesn’t speak. My eyes trail away form him and dart towards the table where I find my belongings. He touched my things? Somehow that makes me feel violated in a way that being undressed by him does not.When he takes a careful step in my direction, I act on impulse. I make for the table and grab my pocket knife, pointing it at him. He eyes it carefully, but doesn’t make any further attempts to approach me. He raises his hands as if to show me he’s not a threat, but I can see the slight concern in his eyes. It unsettles me and I realize how this must look. I follow his gaze to my hand and am horrified by my own actions. My hands drop the knife and I back away until I reach the wall. There I sink to the floor and I notice I’m trembling. Was I really going to use a weapon against him? I hide my head in my hands.

Several minutes pass before I hear him come closer, but I don’t look at him. He sits on his haunches in front of me and I try to crawl even further into the wall. He holds out his hand to me.“Here,” he says when I don’t react, “you can hold it if it makes you feel safer, I don’t mind.”I peek under my arm and see he’s holding out the knife. When I don’t make any attempt to take it from him, he places it on the ground between us and sits back. He seems to think for a long time and the silence stretches out between us.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he finally says. Right. As if I’m stupid enough to believe that. Still, I sit up a bit straighter and lift my head, though I stare at the floor instead of at him.The Soul takes a deep breath. “I’m… not going to hand you over to the Seekers.”

Now I do look at him. He’s not a Seeker then?

He smiles at me and I remember that he does that a lot.“I’d like to study you if you don’t mind.”I can only stare at him. I wonder if he’s completely sane. Study me? I’m not an animal in the zoo. I’m not a lab rat. Study me?“I’m interested in human behavior and I would like to observe you.”

I blink and finally find my voice, thought the sound of it isn’t very intelligible. “Huh?” I say.

His eyes search my face. Like I’m the one that’s insane. “I’d like to study you,” he says again.“Yes I heard you,” I say.He sighs relieved and his smile gets wider. “Oh. Good.” I don’t see what’s good about it at all. He stands up like everything is settled now, but I feel as clueless as ever. “Are you hungry?” he asks, “I’ve made soup. Humans make chicken soup to cure a fever right?” He walks into the kitchen and I follow him confused. I don’t even know why. My feet seem to move on their own. He looks at me over his shoulder. “Your clothes should be dry soon. I’m sorry you had to wear mine, but I didn’t have anything else. I’ll get you some new ones.  I tried to save your drawings, but I’m not sure it worked. The rain really damaged them.”At his last words I spurt out of the kitchen and fish the sketchbook from the heater. He’s right. They are damaged and destroyed, but that was to be expected. I sigh. I haven’t really drawn since the invasion anyway. I didn’t exactly feel inspired. I just couldn’t part with it. It was the last physical thing from my old life. And even that is gone now.

“I’m sorry,” I hear him say behind me. I glance at him and his eyes are filled with sympathy.I place the sketchbook on the table and nod at him. “It’s okay,” I answer.He places a bowl of soup on the table and goes back to the kitchen to get one for himself. I just stare as he sits down at the table an starts eating.When he notices I haven’t moved, he looks up at me. “Aren’t you hungry? You should really eat something.”

“My fever is gone,” I stupidly say.

A slow smile crawls on his face, but it’s more amused this time. “The Cool worked.”

Cool? What is cool?He sees the confusion on my face. “Why don’t you sit down and eat and I’ll tell you everything.”

I slump into the chair and hesitantly start eating. The soup actually tastes good and I realize how hungry I really am. He watches me eat for a while. “You were barely conscious when I found you,” he tells me, “your fever was so high I almost burned my hand.” I could have laughed about that word joke, but he’s already continuing. “I don’t know what would have happened if I had gotten to you any later. Why did you run away?”My hand stops mid air, spoon on its way to my mouth. Is he seriously asking me this? He’s looking at me curiously. No… expectantly. As if I’m going to reveal something that will solve a complex mystery.“I told you,” I softly answer, “I don’t want to disappear.”

“I’m not going to give you to the Seekers,” he says.“So you say,” I mutter.“Souls don’t lie,” he kindly informs me.“Not all humans are liars,” I counter. “So you’ve never told a lie?”I look down. I lied all the time. Perhaps not with words, but certainly with actions. Pretending to be someone you’re not counts as a lie. Doesn’t it?“I’m sorry,” he says, “that wasn’t very nice.”I don’t really have a reply to that. “What is Cool?” I ask instead.“Hm?” he looks at me questioningly.“You said you cured my fever with Cool,” I clarify, “what is it?”“Oh that,” he stands up and disappears down the hall. Just when I decide to follow him, he returns with a small container which has a pop lid. He places it on the table and I take it. It’s a plain white and the label reads “Cool”. No instructions. No ingredients. Just a name. I glance at him and he nods, so I carefully open it. I shake the content on my hand. Plain white rectangles. Thin as paper. I don’t know what I had expected, but not something so simple. This little thing can cure a fever?“You place it on your tongue,” the Soul tells me as he watches me stare at the Cool, “and when it melts, it cools your body down and cures the fever.”

I blink a few times. “But… how does it work? What’s in it?”“I don’t know,” he half laughs, “I’m not a Healer.”“You use medicine while not knowing what’s in it? It could be dangerous.”“Did you know everything about human medicine?” he asks me.“No,” I have to admit.“Look,” he says, “before we came to this planet, we learned everything there is to know about the human body, because we need to be sure we can take proper care of it. We wouldn’t give these bodies something that could be harmful.  I don’t need to know what’s inside the medicine. That’s what the Healers are for. I know what they give me will work. That’s all I need.”He makes things sound so simple. He just accepts things as they are. It must be nice to be so carefree. But what he says does make sense. He takes in my silence and then suddenly stands up. “We should get your room ready,” he says.“Room?” I ask confused.“Yes,” he smiles at me, “if you’re going to stay, you’ll need your own room. Or do you want to sleep on the kitchen floor?”“Stay?” I echo.He stops at the door and tilts his head. “You are going to stay right? For my research and all. I mean… where else would you go?” “I’m not a lab rat,” I protest.“I wasn’t planning any experiments on you.” His smile turns into a smirk. I narrow my eyes into a glare, which he seems to find amusing somehow, but follow him up the stairs. There’s a second bedroom next to the one I woke up in.. A king-size bed is in a corner, a closet in the other. A bedside table, a desk and a shelf with books.“This is the guestroom,” he says, “but you can have it. You can decorate it any way you like. We’ll go into town to get the things you need. Just let me know.”I’m still staring around the room. There’s something about it that sends a warning to my brain and it takes me a moment before I have it figured out. He said guestroom. That means he had guests. Guests that are Souls. He’s watching me carefully. “You don’t like it?” he asks, “if you like the other room better then we can switch. You can have that room and I’ll take this one.” He would do that? Just like that? It’s his house, but he’s making it sound like it’s actually mine and he’s the guest in stead of me. No, I correct myself, I’m not a guest. I’m a prisoner. But he’s still a Soul I suppose. He’ll place my happiness above his own. “The room is fine,”  hear myself say.“Okay. Good,” he smiles, “We’ll get the supplies this afternoon, okay?”But my mind is still occupied with a previous thought. “You get guests often?”“Sometimes, he says, “my friends live rather far away, so when they come over they usually stay a few days.” I tense. He has friends. That shouldn’t have surprised me, but I was just getting used to being in the presence of one Soul. The thought of having to deal with even more is frightening. “Don’t worry,” he tries to comfort me, “we’ll work something out when they decide to visit. I won’t chase you out of your room.”He just doesn’t seem to understand. I don’t want to be here, with a Soul. I just want to be safe. But in the corner of my mind there is a little voice telling me that not long ago I wished I hadn’t run away from this place. That I wanted to stay somewhere and stop running. ‘But he’s a Soul,’ I try to silence that voice. There’s no way I can ever trust a Soul. Behind that kind face hides a monster. A murderer. I don’t know if he notices my discomfort, but he excuses himself and heads downstairs to check if my clothes are dry or something.And I’m left standing here alone to think. Is this somewhere I can stay? I don’t trust this Soul, but running hasn’t really done anything for me so far. Yes, I’ve managed to survive on my own for a while, but the lack of company becomes really depressing and I’m tired. You have no idea how exhausting running is. And I think that is what makes the decision for me. I can’t do it anymore. It will only be a matter of time before I’ll get caught again. Next time it will be a Seeker. Next time there won’t be anyone to save me. So I’ll stay. Let him do his weird studies on human behavior. Just my luck that he should be a scientist. It seems I’ll never be rid of those. But at the same time it’s strangely comforting, something familiar. I sigh, not quite understanding myself. I still want to run, but for now I’ll stay here.

At least I’ll sleep in a normal bed tonight.