Therapeutic Gold

When I got to the front doors and saw the person my mood lightened and I walked to them and ended with hand on my hips when I stood in front of them.

"It's been a while, Olivia." I raised a brow, he smiled. "Are you going to hex me?"

"I just might... It's been almost two years, Lupin."

Lupin smiled innocently. "I had business to attend."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. I see you are happier... Who is it."

Lupin sighed. "Come on." He walked away. "Let's not do the hidden secret talk here."

I walked next to him. "There is someone?" I nudged him. "Tell me, tell me." I said like a gossiping girl.

Lupin smiled. "You'll meet her at the safe house."

"I better. You look happy finally.... So how we getting to the house?"

Lupin smirked. "It's a surprise." I eyed him but none the less continued without bugging him about it.

"You know who my father is also." I said not questioned.

Lupin looked at me and gave me an arm side hug. "You are definitely not him. Do not worry yourself, it doesn't affect my view of you."

I smiled. "I know. I don't see it in your eyes as much as others." I gave him a side hug back. "Whose at the house other then your girl."

Lupin released me with a smile. "Her name is Tonks, not my girl. And Sirius will be there."

"Tonks... Is that her actual name?"

"No, it's Nymphadora."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course. Another person with an amazing name while I'm- Guess what. I found out my given name is Seraphina."

"That's a beautiful name."

I nodded. "I changed my name to Olivia Seraphina Solace after my mom." I smiled softly. "So now you have more options for names to call me."

Lupin smiled. "I'll stick with Olivia if that is alright with you."

I nodded. "It's perfectly fine." We walked across the bridge and into the forest where a familiar Hippogriff was standing. "Buckbeak!" He tilted his head and looked at me, I bowed, he bowed back and I went to him. "Do you remember me?" I brushed his feathers, he squawked.

"Sirius said you might like to see him." Lupin walked up to us.

"Well Sirius is correct." I frowned. "We are riding him."

Lupin nodded but saw my uneasiness. "Is that alright?"

"Um..." I looked back at Buckbeak and sighed. "Yea." I said uneasily.

"We don't have to." Lupin rested a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure we could take the train."

I shook my head. "It's fine." I moved to Buckbeak side, Buckbeak lowered himself. "Thank you Buckbeak." I looked at Lupin. "Can you drive?"

Lupin smiled slightly and nodded. "Of course." He walked to Buckbeak and swung his leg over. "Are you sure your alright?"

I got behind Lupin. "Yes." Buckbeak stood up and I wrapped my arms around Lupins waist. "Is this alright?"

"As long as it makes you feel safe." Lupin patted my hands and then held onto Buckbeak neck. "Alright Buckbeak."

Buckbeak bolted forward, opened his wings and started to fly up into the sky. I took a deep breath and kept my arms glued together.

"Are you afraid of heights?!" Lupin said into the wind.

"Not exactly!" I said back. "I have a particular memory associated with heights that I don't wish to remember!"

Lupin tried to look back at me. "You'll be fine, Olivia!" I nodded and watched the trees turn into water. The light shining onto the calm waters below. "Beautiful isn't it?!"

"Yes!"

-----------By the time we got to Sirius neighborhood it was dark out, the street lights were on but as we approached they turned off.

"Hold tight, landing is a little bumpy." Lupin told me. Buckbeak circled like a vulture until he glided down like a swan and ran to a stop. "Good boy." Lupin brushed Buckbeaks neck.

Buckbeak lowered himself, I hopped off then Lupin stood off since he was taller then me. "Thank you, Buckbeak." I went to his head and brushed my fingers along his beak.

I looked at Lupin. "Has Sirius had him this whole time? I came for Christmas and didn't see him."

"I borrowed Buckbeak on my business trips." I raised a brow, Lupin nudged his head to the door. "Come on. We can't stay where prying eyes are."

We walked to the door, Lupin opened it and I walked in followed by Buckbeak and Lupin. "Sirius?"

"Is that O I here?" Sirius peaked around the corner.

"It is." I gave him a hug. "I got expelled."

He patted my back. "I heard." We broke the hug and he raised a brow. "And I also heard someone taught a class."

I rolled my eyes. "It was like 16 or something kids. Nothing much."

Sirius smiled softly. "Is everything alright?"

I nodded. "I'm fine." Sirius eyed me, I sighed. "I'm fine." Buckbeak brushed against me as he walked to a back room. "I'm just wondering why you never told me you kept Buckbeak." I eyed him.

Sirius stood up straight and glanced at Lupin who was leaning against the stair railing and watching us. "It didn't cross my mind."

I shook my head. "You two need to work on your communication."

"We talked like every week." Sirius chuckled under his breath.

"Yet you didn't say you kept Buckbeak." I nudged him and turned to the stairs. "Same room?"

"Yes." I walked up. "Olivia?" I looked at him, both men looked at me. "Do I need to change into a dog for you to talk to me?"

I smiled softly. "I'm fine, Sirius."

Sirius nodded. "Alright."

I nodded and walked up the steps, hearing the quiet whispers of the two men. (Im fine. I just need to relax or something. Im not going to breakdown and get weak like I have in the past.)

I got to my room and saw my luggage already here. "Huh... Alright." I put my bag on the bed and opened my trunk. "Maybe I could go by luggage travel next time."

I took out the school books and put them on my desk for later studying to occupy the time I have to waste. My clothes were put in the drawers and the few photos on my mother on top of my dresser.

A knock came to my door, I sighed and turned to Sirius who was leaned on the doorframe. "Sirius, please, can we not." He turned into Gold and I couldn't help but smile. "Stop." Gold walked over to me, I knelt down. "You're an asshole for this." I scratched his neck. "But I'm fine."

Gold gave me a bored expression, I sighed and sat down on the floor, Gold rested his head on my lap.

I smiled. "You know people would pay good money for a therapy dog." I scratched his neck and took a deep breath. "I'm really alright, Sirius. It's just... No one has a perfect past and you know I have had a ver difficult past, I've told you mostly everything about myself..."I leaned back on the dresser. "I'm fine now and can handle things, I matured fast when I was a child, I had to..."

Gold raised his head and looked at me with pleading eyes, I brushed his fur. (He really wants to know... It's Sirius, Gold. I can tell him anything.)

I sighed and frowned. "I um... hit a low point... a long time ago, I think about it... all the time." I looked away. "My Patronus... You have to think of a happy memory...." I leaned back against the dresser. "Um.. Mine is..." I sighed and closed my eyes. "Standing with my arms out, and just felt the cool breeze blow my hair slightly, the sun was just rising so my skin was soft and I felt like everything in my life was going to be better. Like all of my sadness and pain would go away, like I was free... That moment was the happiest time I've ever had." I frowned and opened my eyes. "That was my lowest point, it scared me." I looked back at him and brushed his fur. "When I opened my eyes... I couldn't... So I stepped away from the ledge." Tears slipped passed my eyes. "I saw how weak I was and realized all those people were right, that I was weak and shouldn't..." I shook my head. "I, um... I made myself stronger, I build a front, I shut people out and didn't trust anyone." "I'm not saying I'm going to do it again, I vowed I wouldn't but... I'm feel so tired all the time like how I did then. I feel like since I'm making all these friends I am becoming weak. I've opened up to much and now my life is falling apart. It's like my life is cursed and I don't know what to do except just accept it. To just let it happen. I don't care what happens to me, I can handle that because I know my own strength.... but I can't handle what will happen to those around me. What if they do come and they kill you or someone else to get to me? I can't handle that... I'm just so tired all the time and I don't want to get to that point again..." I started to cry again.

Sirius changed back. "Olivia." He wiped my tears, I shook my head. "Look at me." I looked at him. "You are strong and caring but not everything is your responsibility." He brushed the hair behind my ear. "We all care for you, yes, that's just how it is, we fight for each other." He smiled.

I sighed defeated. "I don't want you to. I can fight my own battles-."

"But you don't have to, no one should." He cupped my face. "You are right. You matured to fast because you had to, but you don't have to anymore. You have so many people on your side."

"I'm a world of magic." I scoffed. "There are more dangers, one spell and you can either be immobilized or dead. How am I supposed to relax and just let the people around me get hurt, because of me."

Sirius sighed. "Olivia..." He smiled like everything will be alright. "Our lives don't rest in your hand. It is not your responsibility, it is ours. If we chose to protect you as you us then we will, it is not your fault if something bad happens."

"So if I get captured in in order to help me you die that isn't my fault?"

"It's not." Sirius tried to make me believe.

I huffed. "But your care for me will kill you. Because of me you will put yourself in danger."

"You're thinking is... If I, or anyone else, fights for you it is their choice."

I sniffled. "But I don't want people to get hurt for me. I can handle what is to come. I know I can."

"I hope you will but I rather keep that life from happening." Sirius smiled softly, I wiped my tears. "You are strong, but you put all the blame on yourself. Others actions are their own, not yours." I nodded slowly, Sirius smiled. "Alright?"

"Just promise me if anything happens to me you will think of your own safety.... Please."

Sirius gives me a soft smile. "I will think of my safety." I nodded. "Why don't you relax and when you feel good enough to come down we can make some cupcakes."

I smiled. "You know how to bake?"

"No." He smiled. "But you do."

I smiled. "Thanks. Have the cry baby make her own cupcakes."

Sirius smiled. "People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long."

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