Ch 160

It was a light kiss. Barely more than a brush of lips. Gentle. Cautious. 

We were both still learning what it meant to want something and not fear it. This was only the third time we'd kissed, after all. And yet, it already felt like something familiar. Not rushed. Not desperate. Just us. 

I let him kiss me. His hand stayed on my cheek, his other resting beside my hip on the bed, anchoring him. 

His body was close but not overwhelming. His mouth moved with conscious softness that made it clear he wasn't trying to take anything from me. 

He wasn't trying to consume or overwhelm. He was just being here. With me. And I let him. I leaned into the kiss, letting my hand rest lightly against his arm. 

I didn't rush it. Didn't deepen it. I just felt it. Let it wrap around me. It wasn't passionate, not like last time. But it was tender, and somehow that made it mean more. Because this was Itachi. 

Itachi, who carried the burden of a thousand sins. Who bore the future like it was already carved into his bones. Who never let himself want things, not for long. Not like this. 

And still, here he was, kissing me like I was something he could want. Something real. I loved it. Loved the warmth of his mouth, the steadiness in his touch, the unspoken affection that lived in the spaces between. 

But I also knew we couldn't stay in this moment forever. I felt the looming truth. I could've let it happen. I could've pretended I didn't know what was coming. 

Let myself enjoy the small moments before he was gone. Before he left to fight Sasuke. Before he died. I could've just existed here, in blissful ignorance. Let myself be held and kissed and cherished, only to mourn him quietly after the dust settled. 

But I won't do that. I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not so shallow, so weak, that I'll trade my voice for comfort. 

I know what's coming. And this time, I'll choose. Not the world. Not the plan. Me. Not everything is set in stone anymore.

I pulled back gently, my lips brushing his one last time before I opened my eyes. He was still close, his forehead hovering just above mine, his lashes low. 

His breath was warm on my skin, but I could already feel the way his body was preparing to retreat. Like he could sense the shift in me. I didn't let him pull away. 

"I want to save you," I breathed. 

The words were soft, but they landed with intent. I felt it in the way his body tensed. In the way his hand on my cheek paused. 

He blinked slowly, then opened his eyes fully, focusing on me. Or trying to. His vision was nearly gone, I knew that. But it didn't stop him from looking like he saw me.

Itachi didn't say anything right away. He just moved closer. Then, slowly, he rested his head on my shoulder. 

I felt the weight of it, so human, so alive, like he'd finally let himself be heavy for a moment. Not the ghost he usually tried to be. Not the idea of himself he'd buried under layers of duty. 

"You don't need to repay me," he replied quietly, the words muffled by the fabric of my shirt and the closeness of his mouth to my skin. 

I didn't answer right away. I just let him rest there. Because I knew what this was. He was tired. Tired in a way that went deeper than exhaustion. 

He'd just returned from another draining mission, another death added to the Akatsuki's long list. And whatever I felt, whatever I wanted to say, I could give him this. A moment. A pause. Somewhere to rest that wasn't cold. 

My fingers slid into his hair without thinking, gently combing through the dark strands that were still damp from the misty rain. His hair was softer than I remembered. 

"I'm not doing this out of the kindness of my heart," I murmured. "I'm not trying to repay you. I'm not here because I feel like I owe you anything." 

My hand kept moving, slow and rhythmic, even as my voice tightened. 

"I'm doing this because I'm selfish." Itachi didn't lift his head, but I felt the way he stilled slightly at my words. 

"I don't want you to die. Not for the village. Not for your brother. Not for some perfect, tragic ending that makes everything tidy." I shook my head a little. 

"I want you to live. Just because I want you." My voice went a little bitter at the edges, sharp and raw. 

"And I know you never put me first. Not really. Not once. But I'm still going to put you first. Even if you didn't ask me to." I paused, letting my fingers tangle softly in his hair. 

"So don't brush this off, Itachi. Don't reduce it to kindness or guilt. I need you to treat this seriously. Because I am."

Itachi lifted his head from my shoulder, and I met his gaze without flinching. My eyes narrowed, firm. He wanted to look at me, fine. Let him. 

"Yes," I affirmed. "I said it. You've never put me first." 

I watched the way his mouth tightened, the faint shift in his brow. The words landed, but he didn't fight them. Maybe because he knew I wasn't lying. 

"But I won't be that cruel to you," I continued, softer now, but no less sure. "Even if you think I should be." 

He didn't respond right away. His eyes searched mine for something, understanding, forgiveness, I don't know. Then he shook his head slightly, the motion small, weary. 

"I know I've done a lot," he started, his voice quiet, rough at the edges. "But there was a reason. For everything. You don't know the full story, Ishi. I can't tell you. I'm sorry." 

Then he started to pull away. Distance, the one thing he was always comfortable with. But I caught his wrist before he could move far. 

"No," I warned, voice sharper now. "You don't get to say that and walk away." 

He blinked, surprised. 

"You think I'm in the dark?" I shook my head. "You think I'm fumbling around, clueless, just letting all of this happen to me?" 

I tightened my grip on his wrist. 

"I know everything, Itachi." His eyes widened slightly, the smallest break in his calm. 

I leaned closer, steady and unshaking. "You're not the only one with secrets."

He looked at me, his expression unreadable, but I knew him too well by now. There was a glint of belief in his eyes. Faint, unsure. Doubt still lingered beneath it, like he couldn't fully accept that I could know what I claimed. 

So I leaned in, my mouth near his ear, and whispered, "Danzo. Koharu. Homura. They gave you the choice, didn't they? Destroy your clan... or risk civil war. You chose the village. Chose peace. And the only one you couldn't bring yourself to kill, the only one who was allowed to be spared... was Sasuke." 

I felt him stiffen beneath my touch. He pulled back just enough for our eyes to meet. I saw the surprise first, a flash of disbelief across his face. Then something softer, heavier. Relief. A weight shifting off his shoulders, if only slightly. He sighed, long and quiet, like it hurt. 

"It was... for the good of the village," he released, like the words had been said so many times he didn't know what else to say. "It was out of my hands." 

"Bullshit," I snapped, not letting him go that easy. "It was never out of your hands. You took it into your hands. You made the decision. And then you decided, you decided, to leave one person alive. Just one. Sasuke." 

His eyes lowered. 

"You've only ever chosen him," I sneered, bitterness rising in my throat. "Every single time, Itachi." 

He could feel the heat in my words. I knew he could. And I knew what came next, I saw it in his eyes before he even moved. That shrinking thing he did when emotions got too sharp. 

When it got too close to unraveling him. He started to rise, already retreating into himself. But I wasn't done. I grabbed his wrist before he could take a step, holding it firm. 

"Don't," I warned, looking up at him. "Don't walk away just because you don't like the fight coming."

His wrist tensed beneath my grip. "Let go," he said quietly, not harsh, but with finality. 

I didn't. 

He waited a second longer before his tone shifted, subtle but sharp. "Blood is thicker than water." 

Ah. 

There it was. 

I blinked at him, almost amused. A crooked smile tugged at the corner of my lips. "Seriously? You're trying to provoke me now?" 

He didn't answer, which told me everything. It was a tactic, get me angry enough to push him away myself. It almost worked. Almost. 

"You're right," I responded instead, my voice calm. "Blood is thicker than water. But we both know you need both to survive." 

He glanced at me, a glint in his eyes. I leaned in just slightly, making sure he heard me loud and clear. 

"Don't ever undermine your relationships for a saying like that. It's lazy. And beneath you." 

I let go of his wrist, not because he asked, but because I chose to. Because I'd said what needed to be said. And because I knew the words would stay with him longer than my hand ever could.

"I'm not as mad as I was," I stated after a beat, keeping my tone casual. "Not like before. Not like those other times." 

I let the words hang in the air for a moment, then turned to him with a smile, wide, sickly sweet, too polished to be genuine. My voice softened, light and airy. 

"But that doesn't mean I'm letting it go," I added, almost sing-song. "Oh no, I wouldn't dream of it." 

His gaze dropped for a second, unreadable again. Silent. Caught. I stood up and stepped forward, slowly, deliberately, my head tilted just enough to look innocent, which made it all the more pointed. 

"You thought I was in the dark," I quipped, my voice still light. "Thought I didn't know anything. Yet you still wanted me. Still wanted to come close." 

I let the smile fade, just slightly, enough to let the sting come through. 

"You still wanted to steal kisses, wanted to be near me, while thinking I knew nothing. While thinking I was clueless." 

My brows arched. 

"Were you trying to take advantage of me, or was it just you who had no self-control?" I asked, voice sharp beneath its softness. "Pick whichever. Neither's a good answer." 

He didn't speak. Didn't move. Because what could he say? There was no version of the truth that didn't sound awful when spoken out loud. 

And for once, he wasn't trying to lie to protect me. He was just... there. Exactly how I needed him to be. Caught, not in a trap, but in truth.

I looked at him sharply. "Isn't it hard," I asked, "to hide behind that mask of righteousness you wear? Always playing the hero who sacrifices everything for the village and family?" 

Itachi's brow furrowed slightly, a frown forming. He knew what I was doing. My words were laced with harsh provocation, but not without truth. 

He wasn't innocent, and deep down, he knew it. I pressed on, my tone softer now, almost knowing. 

"I know what you're really thinking." I watched as his expression twisted, subtle but undeniable. "You're not just some goody two-shoes who'll die for the village and your family without question. No one's that one-dimensional, Itachi." 

He's human, flawed, complicated. He has thoughts that go against what he shows the world, feelings that twist and pull him in ways most wouldn't expect. Morals that bend, weaknesses that break through the stoic facade. 

I saw it all in his eyes, the struggle beneath that mask. And maybe that's why I still can't completely hate him. Because he's more than what everyone else thinks he is, even more than he lets himself be.

As I looked at Itachi, I felt something stirring inside me, something I'd been holding back for far too long. 

Sadness, anger, frustration, they all bubbled up, ready to break free. Staring at him was like staring into a mirror, reflecting all the pain and conflict I carried inside. 

"I know a lot," I quietly said, my voice trembling just a little. "I've met so many people... seen the best and the worst of this world. I've walked alongside those who were kind and those who were cruel. And I've done good things... and bad things." 

The truth felt heavy, but honest, and it needed to be said. For so long, I'd kept my truth locked away, pretending it didn't exist. 

But now, I let them fall, freely, without shame. It was okay to cry. It was okay to feel. Because sometimes, holding it all in only makes the weight harder to carry. 

I felt a deep, aching sadness for Itachi. For all he had done. For all he had sacrificed. How many times had he buried his own feelings, hidden behind that cold mask, just to protect others? 

I saw the burden he carried, the loneliness that never left him, no matter how strong he appeared. And maybe that's why I felt this surge of empathy, because despite everything, despite the bitterness, despite the past, I understood. 

I understood pain. I understood sacrifice. And in that moment, tears running down my face, I just wanted him to know that he wasn't alone. That someone finally saw him.

It's confusing. 

I hate him. And I love him. Both at the same time. It's a contradiction that's always lived inside me whenever I think of him. 

"You've always been there for me, when no one else was. You're my greatest friend, the person I trusted most, the one who understood me even when I didn't understand myself." 

I wiped my tears, but more only came. 

"But you're also my worst enemy. Because you've hurt me in ways no one else ever could." 

That contradiction, that tangled mess of feelings, lives inside me. And honestly, I don't know how to make sense of it. 

"But despite everything, I want to save you. I know about your illness, your chronic, terminal sickness that you hide like it's some secret burden." 

I know you carry it alone because you think no one should have to suffer with you. But I hate that you do this to yourself. 

"I want to find a way to save you. Not just because I care, but because I can't bear the thought of losing you like this. If you want to fight Sasuke, then fight. You're strong enough, stronger than anyone else, and you could easily win." 

I've seen it. I believe in you. 

"But why can't you fake your death? Why not come back alive?" 

My voice trembled as I looked at him, "Please, Itachi, do it for me. Do it for yourself. Don't disappear this time." 

I want you to survive. Not just to win battles, but to come back, to be here, with me. I want a future with you in it, even if it's messy and complicated. 

You don't have to be a hero who dies for the village or the clan. You can choose your own path. Please, Itachi, don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on us. 

"Come back alive," I whisper, gripping his hand, "Fight if you must. But come back. Please."

Itachi was silent for a moment, his eyes searching mine as if trying to find the right words, or maybe trying to find himself. 

I could see the conflict swirling behind his gaze, the burden of everything we'd been through pressing down on him. 

Then, slowly, a sad smile tugged at the corners of his lips. It was a smile filled with regret and something tender, something raw. 

"How did I ever get your heart?" he finally said, voice low and almost bitter. 

"That's the only thing I don't understand." 

I stayed quiet, watching him carefully. He went on, his eyes softening as he looked right at me. 

"Every time I see you, I'm reminded... reminded how much I love you, and the reasons why. You're the good in this world, Ishi. You are the future I want to look forward to." 

His words caught me off guard, but they felt like light breaking through the dark. 

"You're the hope this world desperately needs," he whispered, almost like a prayer. 

It was the kind of moment that carved itself into my soul, seeing him like this, vulnerable and honest. H

e looked at me as if I was his entire world. And in that moment, I understood how deeply he cared, despite all the walls and shadows between us. 

Then, with a gentleness that made my heart ache, Itachi reached up, brushing a tear from my cheek. The touch was so soft, so measured, I couldn't help but lean into it. 

Before I knew it, he was leaning closer, his lips finding mine again. This kiss was tender and slow, a quiet promise wrapped in warmth. 

I smiled into the kiss, matching him perfectly, letting myself get lost in the feeling. All that mattered was this, us, finding something real amid all the chaos. 

And as our lips moved together, I felt something transform inside me. 

Hope, maybe. Or love. Or both. 

Whatever it was, I was ready to hold onto it.

A/n And the climax! You and I both know I wasn't going to give you a kiss and not break your hearts a bit. But I did my job and now I feel fulfilled. Enjoy~