Only Love Can Hurt Like This

You blink a few times, adjusting to the brighter light in the room, and also making sure that you're really in the medical wing of the tower. When you look down at your chest, you see wires connecting you to a heart monitor.

You hear a slight sniffle next to you, and there lies a sleeping Loki in a chair a few feet away.

Your body's stiff, but you manage to peel off the wires attached to you, which also causes a beeping to start.

That immediately wakes Loki up, "...Y/N?" He frowns, running a hand down his face.

You're already out of bed, backing up to the door.

Loki stands at his chair, "Y/N, you really should stay in bed until..."

Before Loki can finish, you open the door and start running down the hallway.

"Shit," Loki takes off after you.

Most of the team is in the mainroom when you come running in, "Y/N!" Tony instantly stands much like Loki did, "What on Earth are you doin...?"

"I'm fine; I just need some air," you quickly scan the room before pushing the balcony sliding glass door open and rushing to the railing, catching your breath.

Everyone in the mainroom is silent, and Tony's about to go out after you, but Loki wasn't far behind, and holds up his hand for Tony to stop.

The soreness from your wound finally catches up to you as you breathe, so you put your hand on it, applying light pressure.

Loki cautiously steps outside, "Are you alri...?"

You turn to Loki to respond, but images of everything that happened with Thanos start flooding into your mind, causing you to back away from Loki.

"Do...?" Loki's hands start to shake and flex at his sides. "You do not remember me."

You walk-up to Loki, stopping less than a foot from him, speaking as you step, "I. Remember. Everything!"

Loki holds your gaze, and when he sees that you're telling the truth, along with the recognition in your eyes, his own soften as he sighs, "Y/N..."

"Don't..." you take a step back, putting distance between you and Loki. "Don't do that."

His expression doesn't falter, "Do what?"

"Give me that look," you lean back onto the railing to catch your breath again. All of this quick movement is putting a strain on your already bruised and healing lungs.

"Y/N..." Loki repeats once again.

You're both quiet for a bit, just staring at each other, "They said it was a 'lab accident'." You look down and then back up, "A chemical splash or something."

Loki tilts his head in question, "What are yo...?"

You pull your shirt to show the mark, "They lied to me for almost a YEAR, Loki!"

While you hold your shirt back, Loki's eyes catch the shine of your ring, and your gaze follows his.

Now you sigh, but rub the ring with your thumb, "All this time, I wondered, 'Am I married?', 'Where's my partner?'"

Loki walks to your side, "I am here now. I am not going anywhere. Never again." His tone is the complete opposite of yours.

You're still looking down, as Loki takes your hand in his.

"Please, Y/N. I cannot lose you," Loki turns your head to his with his other hand to meet his gaze again.

You nearly drown in Loki's eyes, but then his words hit you, "And yet you made it so easy for me to 'lose' you."

"Easy?" Loki's voice drops.

"Seemed like you wiped my memory of you quite easily," you snarl and turn out of Loki's grip.

However, you get pulled back against Loki, who cups your face.

"Wha....?" 

Now Loki's tone changes, "I had to watch you walk away, without even the smallest HINT of recognition as to who I was in your eyes!"

Loki rubs his thumbs under your eyes, not breaking eye contact.

"My heart went with you that day, and I lost the only thing I will ever need," Loki pauses. "You."

"Loki..." you choke out, mouth now dry.

"I could not allow Hela to take you away from me," anger is clear in Loki's eyes. "No one will EVER take you away from me."

One of his hands moves behind your head, into your hair.

"My Mate," Loki says as more of a whisper.

You swallow, "Lo..."

But that's the only part of his name you are able to mutter, before Loki's lips crash onto yours in desperation.

"I'm sorry," Loki repeats between kisses. "I am so sorry."

He gives you one last peck before both of you rest your foreheads on one another, breathless.

"I thought I lost you," Loki whispers.

"When I saw you with Thanos, I thought I was going to lose you," you rest your head under Loki's chin.

Loki slightly turns and grips the railing, "I could not even enter your room, until just days ago, knowing all that had happened to you was the fault of mine."

You frown, noticing Loki's grip turning his knuckles white, "Your fault?"

His head drops, "You were nearly killed!"

"TO SAVE YOU!" you bite back.

"Exactly, MY fault!" Loki pokes himself in the chest. "Everything is always my fault!"

You duck under Loki's arms and step between Loki and railing, "Stop. Look at me."

Loki's teeth grind as his jaw clenches.

"Loki. This is not your fault," you place one of your hands on his arms.

Loki scoffs, but stays in place.

You move your hand to his cheek, "Maybe someone else can help me with convincing you."

Loki shakes his head with an exhale of a laugh, "No one inside is of any use to me."

The corner of your mouth turns into a grin, "I'm not talking about them."

Loki's brows furrow.

"Look into my mind; I'll show you," you place Loki's hand on your heart.

"Darling..." Loki goes to draw his hand back.

"No," you put it back in place. "I promised her that I would." 

You bring Loki's forehead back to yours, both of you closing your eyes, the image of Frigga coming through, "Tell Loki for me, that it was never his fault. I knew of my fate before the birth of Thor. There was no prevention of what happened."

You rub Loki's cheeks as he opens his eyes, "That was NEVER your fault, Loki. And neither was any of this."

Loki takes a deep breath and pulls your head back against his, "You are everything I will ever need in all of the realms."

After everything, you can't help but simply stare at Loki.

And when you say nothing, Loki clears his throat, "I understand all of the anger and upset I must have caused you, so should you choose to break our bond, I would not bla..."

Your heart nearly shatters at Loki's vulnerability, and all you can think to do to reassure him is taking his hand and placing it on your mark, stopping his sentence.

Loki closes his eyes at the contact, but they fly back open when you put your hand on his mark too.

Instantly, both of your marks glow gold, and even though the energy nearly makes you fall over, you smile.

You watch the mark on Loki, but he never takes his eyes off of you.

"You can still keep me," you whisper, and absentmindedly start tracing Loki's mark.

Loki sucks in a breath at the contact.

And your hand freezes hearing it, "Shit! Sorry! Does it burn when it's like this?"

"You tell me," Loki smirks and starts doing the same to your mark.

It takes maybe 2 seconds, before both of your hands are moving in sync, and you and Loki  slump into each other, completely lost in the feeling.

Neither of you says a word, but you're starting to hold back moans, while Loki makes zero attempt in holding back his groans.

Your hand starts to feel a bit colder, and when you open your eyes, you see Loki transforming into his Frost Giant form, "It's been a while, Frosty."

Loki leans his head forward and down to your mark, attaching his lips to your mark.

His lips find a rhythm, and your hands grip Loki's shoulders, as his arms move to your hips.

"Mate. Mine," Loki repeats against your mark.

Loki's lips continue their assault, but a shadow from inside the tower gets your attention, "Loki."

Loki pays no mind, and just hums on your skin.

You can't see anyone watching, but you're aware once again of the fact that people are inside, "Loki. The window."

He breaks off and brings his head to yours, "Let them watch as I reclaim you as mine."

There's a growl in Loki's voice, and when he leans-in to kiss you, you duck down under his arms, moving away.

Loki chuckles and turns to follow you, "You wish to play, Mate? Both forms of me do love a good game."

As Loki stalks towards you, you see the redness of his eyes, and feel the wall behind you.

"Loki..."

"Incorrect," Loki stops less than an arms-length from you.

"Loki," you try to say more sternly.

He teleports right in front of you and leans to your ear, "You will address me properly in this form, Mate."

You raise your eyebrows, "I will address you however I want, Frosty." You pat Loki's cheek twice, but he quickly pins your hands above your head.

"You show no signs of fear or hesitation when I am like this," Loki searches your eyes.

"Never," you feel Loki's grip loosen on your hands. His hold is not painful, but he maintains the position.

"Why?" his nose brushes yours.

"Because we BOTH know that this form would never cause me harm," you pause. "No form you're in would."

Loki presses completely against you, into the wall, with a growl, "And I would kill anyone who dared to do so."

You lightly smile reassuringly, "I know." You lean-in closer, "I know." You softly kiss Loki.

Loki melts into the kiss, his hands now dropping yours to cup your face.

This time when you lean back and open your eyes, Loki is back to his regular, Asgardian appearance.

Author's Note: Hey, folks! This is a longer chapter than my usual ones, which is still pretty short in comparison to a lot of other POV fanfic writers on here lol. However, I wanted to give you a bit of a fluff/meaningful chapter, since I will be away for a little over two weeks! I hope this makes up for my coming absence. Also, we passed 86,000 reads which is INSANE, and this is already the 70th chapter of this story! Meanwhile, the TikTok has nearly 280 lol. Thank you for your continued support on both platforms! Next chapter will be posted somewhere around the middle of July! xx