40

Crosshair didn't let her rest.

Once the bacta patches had been wrapped securely around her rib cage, he'd gathered the rest into his pack and slung it onto the front of his chest. His long rifle hung there as well. Between the two, he was easily carrying about forty pounds of gear.

Which was why Saedii protested when he knelt down in front of her and tried to help her onto his back.

"I can walk," she said, even though the cave was shimmering in and out of focus around her and her chest vibrated with pain.

"You can't walk," he said sharply, helping her sit up. Her head rolled uncomfortably before he reached up and stilled it. His mask gave away no emotion, but his voice was tight as he said, "And we can't stay here."

Crosshair was strong. All Clones were thanks to the intensive training they went through. But he wasn't Wrecker, whose enhanced strength would make carrying her dead weight and his gear no problem. Could he really do this?

As if sensing her hesitation, he urged, "You're not going to die in here. I won't let you."

A part of her wanted to ask why he cared. He'd seemed so mad earlier. But that was just the head wound twisting her logic. Just because he was mad that she might leave didn't mean he didn't care. He would do what he could to get her to safety. She trusted him.

Gritting her teeth, Saedii helped Crosshair as best as she could as he pulled her onto his back. But he bore the brunt of her weight as he slid her arms around his shoulders and hoisted her up, locking his arms beneath her knees.

Saedii's arms trembled around his neck. She was in so much pain. Everything hurt. Thinking. Breathing. Tears escaped before she could help it, burning down her cheeks like liquid fire.

"I've got you," he said. Quiet, so that she nearly missed it. "Rest, Saedii."

She did, leaning her head against his shoulder. Her eyes closed as he walked further into the tunnel, and she let herself drop back into sleep.

This time, she did dream. Nothing tangible, but bright flashes of colors and faces. Hunter and Omega and Plo and Wolffe. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan. Kalth. None of them spoke but they looked at her with pitying eyes, as if they knew she was dying.

Next time she woke, it was to a bright, brilliant sun shining down in her eyes.

Saedii squinted. Above her, the sky was a beautiful blue, stretching unimpeded in every direction. Faint white smudges might have been clouds, but she couldn't be sure. The tunnel was nowhere to be seen.

Beneath her, Crosshair was standing still, staring forward. His breathing was labored, but he only tightened his grip on her at his back. Refusing to put her down even if he was exhausted.

The path ahead of them shimmered with heat. Or maybe it was just Saedii's head, which swam under the heat of the sun overhead. It stretched forward towards the horizon, an unending landscape of dry, brown rock and cracked desert.

It was too bright for her eyes. She shut them.

A moment passed. Or maybe an eternity. Time felt strange in limbo, caught somewhere between a burning sun and endless dark. Movement below her pulled her back towards awareness. A sharp movement.

There was a scuffle. A labored exhale. Hands on her legs tightened, trying to hold on.

Saedii forced her eyes open.

Below her, Crosshair had gone to one knee. He was shaking, sucking in sharp breaths. One of his hands went down to brace himself against the ground as he tilted to the side and she nearly slid off his back.

He was injured.

Ahead of them, a collection of dark brown smudges sat a short distance away. Her vision cleared for a moment, showing short low buildings made of mud and straw with thatched roofs. Some of the buildings were collapsed. Old crumbling carts of bleached white wood decayed in the sun.

Crosshair was shaking beneath her. His head shook back and forth, like he was trying to keep himself awake. Very slowly, Saedii began to slide off his back.

Both of them hit the ground at the same time, sending up a fine layer of dust along Saedii's skin. White flashed behind her eyes.

When she blinked her eyes back open, Crosshair was struggling back to his feet. His movements were clumsy as he pulled her back up off the ground. This time, his arms didn't feel nearly as steady. He stumbled, breath hissing from his lungs.

Her lips were like lead, but she forced them to move. Forced her aching chest to speak. "Cross."

If he heard her, he gave no indication. Just continued walking, even as Saedii could hear the hitch to each breath. He was hurting.

"Cross," she tried again.

Every breath forced from her chest was like knives slicing her up from the inside. Like blades embedding into her lung and twisting. It threatened to pull her back under.

But she had to tell him. He had to stop. If he was injured, he needed to let her down. Leave her behind if he had to. She didn't want him to be in pain.

"We're almost there," he said, voice strained.

Don't, she said. Or tried to. She wasn't sure if it came out at all.

Cool shade fell over them. The burning sun blinked away, leaving her skin feeling too cold without it. Shivers ran up her back, making her breath catch.

Crosshair knelt down, sliding Saedii's body gently into the cool dirt, hand holding her head up off the ground. He flopped down beside her, breathing in heavily. He sounded nearly as bad as she did.

It felt like only a second passed, but next thing Saedii knew she was blinking her eyes open. Pain still made her foggy, but it wasn't as sharp as it had been earlier – except for her chest, which was still on fire. Everything around her swam back into a hazy sort of focus.

A lantern burned close by. In the dim light, the inside of a worn hut was only just visible. It was empty inside except for a single blanket sprawled beneath her body. In the far wall, a small window gave a brief glimpse of a dark night sky scattered with stars.

Beside the lamp, Crosshair was using a small handheld mirror to try and stitch up a shallow cut along his cheek. He'd taken his armor off and had wrapped a bandage tightly around his ribcage. Purple and blue splotches peppered across his jaw, only just visible in the low light. One of his eyes had been swollen shut.

"Are you ok?"

At the sound of her voice, Crosshair looked up. His jaw was tight and his voice didn't sound very convincing as he snapped, "Fine."

"You're hurt."

"I'll live." He tied off the last stitch then cut the end with a vibroblade from his thigh. As he sheathed it, his eyes went back to her. "I'm more concerned about you."

Saedii lifted her head. Her vision swam but not as violently as it had earlier. The bacta must be working then.

"Lay down," Crosshair said unpleasantly as she used her good arm to prop herself up.

Saedii paused, taking a second to breathe as her chest felt like it was cracking in two. As it flared down her back. "I want to sit."

"You need to rest –"

"Can you help me?" Her voice cracked. Talking still hurt.

After a moment's hesitation, Crosshair appeared at her side. Gently, he helped her sit up. His grip tightened as she swayed and caught his arm, fighting the pressure that built in her skull.

Once it had died down, Saedii pushed herself the rest of the way up. Every movement was agony. Splintering in her chest and up her throat. At her side, her metal arm hung limp against her side, cold in the night air.

Crosshair propped her against the wall. Once he was sure she was steady, he reached down and pulled the blanket up over her.

"Thanks." Saedii blinked, trying to clear the lights that throbbed behind her eyes. Once they'd gone, she looked around the room. It wasn't familiar. "Where are we?"

"An abandoned village. It's on the way to the space port." A very harsh breath escaped as he took a seat next to her. This close, Saedii could hear the catch in every breath. Could see the tightness around his eyes.

He was in a lot of pain.

"The others?"

"I haven't been able to reach them since we left the cave."

That was worrying. The last update they'd had, Hunter and the rest had been trapped in the mine. What if they hadn't gotten out? What if they were still trapped in there?

Saedii debated their options. She was too injured to walk. She could feel it. But Crosshair might be able to make it. Maybe he could help get them free.

"How far is the mine?" Saedii asked.

He eyed her. "I'm not leaving you. They'll find a way out."

"You can help –"

"You need me more than they do."

It was strangely quiet here. More so even than Teth, which was alive with the sounds of creaking trees and the creatures that lived among them. But Ipsidon didn't seem to have any sort of life. Nothing called out in the dark. Nothing moved.

Very distantly, there was a soft rumble. Thunder, maybe? It was too optimistic to hope for a rescue ship, especially since their long-range comms hadn't been working.

Crosshair reached over into his pack, pulling out two rations bars. He handed one out to her, but Saedii held up a hand in refusal.

His lips thinned. "You need to eat."

"Too nauseous."

"You need your strength."

"Later."

He let out a low sigh before he reached for his water jug and held that out. "Drink, at least."

With her good hand, she reached out to grab the jug. It nearly slipped from her clumsy fingers. Too weak to hold it.

Crosshair helped her bring it up to her lips, where she tipped back just enough to fill her mouth. It tasted far better than water ever had. She could have had the whole thing.

But she stopped after one sip. This was all the water they had.

"You need more," Crosshair urged.

Saedii gave the faintest shake of her head. "We need to save it."

He looked like he wanted to argue, but didn't. That told Saedii enough about how dire their situation was.

"How much do we have?"

The water sloshed as he assessed. "Enough for two days. Maybe three."

"And food?"

"Four tops."

Things were worse than she'd thought. In this heat, they'd be losing water quick. Two days' worth of water could wind up lasting only one if they weren't careful.

She gave a very weak smile. "Five credits say my lung gets me before dehydration does."

"You're not going to die," he said sharply.

The breath she pulled in was very raspy and wet. Blood danced at the back of her tongue. "How many more bacta patches do you have?"

In the dim glow of the lantern, Saedii didn't miss the flash of hesitation. Of dismay. She knew what the answer was even before he admitted, "None."

The patches she had on were all she'd get. If she remembered from her very limited medical field training, the patches had enough bacta to last twenty-four hours. Which meant that, very soon, she wouldn't have any medicine at all.

Without the bacta, she'd deteriorate. It was the only thing keeping her alive right now. The only reason she was still breathing.

"I won't make it," she said softly.

"You will –"

"Cross."

He gave her a very fleeting once over. His eyes didn't miss the shallow movements of her chest.

Saedii reached out very slowly and grabbed his hand. There wasn't much else they could do. They had no medical care, no pain medicine. Very soon, they'd have no food or water. A new timeline started in Saedii's head – a countdown until her bacta wore off. Until she started dying all over again.

Crosshair tensed at her hand in his. But then, after a moment, he squeezed it gently in his.

"I wouldn't have left. If I had to choose," she said. She just needed to get it out there. Just in case. "I promise."

"You won't have to choose," he insisted. "I was just picking a fight. You're not going anywhere."

The last time he'd given an apology, Saedii had been bleeding out miles beneath the surface of Kamino. For him to give another now told her just how afraid he really was. As much as he denied it, he knew she was dying too.

He continued, "I shouldn't have made you feel bad for being happy. You're allowed to be excited to see Wolffe and the others. You can have more than us. If I hadn't picked a fight –"

"This isn't your fault." She wondered how long he'd been blaming himself. If the guilt was what had driven him to carry her for miles with his own injuries.

"If we hadn't been arguing, the ship wouldn't have been stolen," he finished despite Saedii's comment. "You wouldn't be injured. We'd probably be back on Ord Mantell by now."

"I was the one that ran after the ipsium in a lightning storm." She gave a very feeble laugh that dissolved into a cough as pain caught between her ribs. "Not very smart. Especially for a Jedi Knight."

His thumb ran a soothing arc along her knuckle. Such a gentle touch. So very unlike him. "You deserve the title. Even if you don't think so. You're a powerful Jedi."

"I always know I'm dying when you tell me how great of a Jedi I am."

Despite himself, a little chuckle escaped. "If you can still crack a joke, then you're not dying."

Saedii hoped so. As much as she joked about it, she really didn't want to die. Not when she was finally happy again.

His hand tightened on hers. 

"Cross," she asked hesitantly, even as she was eager to stop talking. She licked at her cracked lips. "I have to know. Why didn't you guys come to my celebration the other day."

Crosshair was silent for so long that Saedii thought he wasn't going to answer. Then, he admited, "We weren't welcome."

"Of course you were. I wanted you there -- "

"One of the regs passed along the message. Said you were celebrating with your squad...your real squad."

It was what Wolffe had said to her. That she was part of the 104th first -- her "real" squad. But he wouldn't have gone so far as to make the Batch feel unwelcome, would he?

"I wanted you there," Saedii insisted. Then, more quietly, added, "I wanted you there really bad."

Crosshair let out a slow breath. "We know. I said we should go anyways and to hell with the conseuqnces, but Hunter didn't want to make a scene. Not on your big day."

Of course Hunter had put her first. He always did. For once, Saedii wished that he hadn't. Having the Batch and the 104th there with her would have made her night perfect. It was all she'd wanted.

"We'll celebrate you when we get off this damn planet," Crosshair insisted.

But Saedii heard the unspoken part of that promise. 

If they made it off.