ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙𝟠

A/N: I'm back, I guess?🤧 Anyway, stream purr!!😼💕

• Xiaoting •

"... That's about it for the monthly report on their brand."

I scoffed at the paper Shiro presented me. There wasn't anything wrong with it. The sales were good and the feedback was excellent. There was just one thing that I didn't like.

"When has she been hired by us?"

"Around two years ago if I'm not mistaken."

"Who accepted this proposal?"

"... You."

I stopped glaring at the paper in front of me and looked up at Shiro who was wearing an awkward smile. I coughed to hide the embarrassment on my face.

"Why would I accept someone to be the ambassador of one of the brands that we have high investment on? Add that she's surrounded with scandals 24/7- That's preposterous."

"... Well, in your words you said that publicity is publicity. I quote, 'Ms. Cai Bing is a walking trend setter.' end quote."

"Why don't I remember her then?"

"Uhm, you don't exactly remember anyone definitely, especially if you haven't interacted with them even once."

I harrumphed but stayed quiet. This is annoying.

I heard Shiro sigh so I looked at her questioningly.

"Okay, Ting. Ms. Cai Bing, as far as I know, didn't do anything remotely offending to you... or is there any other reason for you to dislike her this much?"

"I don't dislike her." I muttered. "I'm just questioning why I would hire her out of all the other qualified people out there. If I wasn't so adamant on rejecting being in front of cameras, I would have done a better job at her on being an ambassador."

Shiro laughed. "It's as if you're asking for a fight. Just so you know, that woman knows taekwondo."

"Don't care. I've got my own black belt?"

"... In what, karate?"

"No, in Gucci."

She rolled her eyes which made me smile a bit. "Whatever, Ms. Billionaire."

We exchanged a few more words about Cai Bing's partnership with us that I seemed to have forgotten. To summarize it, it was simply me being unreasonable while Shiro would recall what I told her that time.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine, I get it. She was- okay is, a good ambassador." Of course, I chose her. She should be good.

"You're face doesn't look like this is a good thing though."

"Just go away, Shiro."

She laughed but took a sit in front of my table. She was leaning on my table which indicated that this wasn't going to be a talk about anything business-related anymore.

"What?" I asked.

"You haven't been hanging out with Yujin eonnie. Did you fight?"

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. "What? No, we're not fighting. Who gave you that idea?"

"Calm down, I just assumed. Chae texted me if everything was okay here- the company and you in general. I said yes, but I knew that ever since that last call you had with Yujin eonnie, which was already a week ago mind you, you've been cooping yourself up in this office."

I looked away from her gaze. "'Cause we've been busy, Shiro."

"No, you have been busy. You basically took away mine and Zhe's job as your assistant. Of course you'd be busy."

"That's not true." I turned my gaze back on her defiantly. She didn't say anything and kept staring at me. I sighed and closed my eyes while leaning back on my chair.

"... I'm sorry, I've just felt weird lately. I didn't want her or anyone else to be on the other end of my frustration."

"You already are, Ting."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"You're ignoring Yujin eonnie and you're basically turning back to your toxic workaholic self. You say that you don't want us on the other end of your frustrations, but you're already doing it. You're already hurting us, Ting." I looked away guiltily. "I can understand that you just want time for yourself, okay? It just hurts seeing you keep your emotions inside while your physical health is suffering."

We stayed silent for a short while. I just took in what she said while she patiently waited for me to talk.

"I'm sorry, Shiro."

She shook her head. "No, no. Don't be sorry to me, Ting. I told you that I understand what you did. But you do owe someone else an apology and explanation."

I looked down. "... I know."

"I know that you're feeling bad already, but I just want to tell you that Yujin eonnie is really worried about you. She always asks me how you are during the past few days."

I looked at her. "But she's been texting me daily. I haven't been as... warm these past days but why wouldn't she just ask me?"

"I don't know, maybe because you kept declining her invitations so maybe she thought that she didn't want to bother you too much so instead she asked me because she still wants to feel assured that you're okay?"

"Oh." This made Shiro laugh.

"Talk to her please?" I smiled and assured her. "Yes, I will as soon as possible. Tonight actually. After work."

"Good! I just want my favorite people back together."

This made me laugh. 'Cause honestly speaking, I have been suppressing the longing I felt to be with Yujin and the others. I miss them. I miss her.

I stood up and walked to where Shiro was standing. I opened my arms towards her.

"I know we're not the type to show affection like this, but this talk made me feel lighter. I've always felt safe around you, Mashiro. So, thank you."

Mashiro laughed but didn't hesitate to hug me.

We were about to let go but that moment, the door opened. A small shriek came from the intruder as she quickly shouted, "S-sorry for interrupting anything!"

Shiro took a deep breathe and whispered, "God damn it, Zhe."

I laughed and stepped back. "You better follow her before news spread that we're doing 'immoral' things during work hours."

"I definitely will. That chatter box will make a whole damned novel with what she saw."

I smiled as she started walking out. Shiro was already by the door when I called her.

"Yes, boss?"

"Can we talk later? I think it's time to take another person's opinion about... these thoughts I keep having."

"Sure! I'll prepare lunch for us at my suite. Just go there when you feel like eating and releasing emotional burdens." I rolled my eyes as she simply laughed.

I gave her an okay sign and she proceeded to follow Wen Zhe who I'm sure is spreading some 'office love gossip', as what my colleagues and subordinates call it.

I laughed at the thought and went back to my chair to start reading my unfinished documents.

•°~°~°•

"So, what's up?"

We just finished eating and we're currently at the balcony of her suite. I was staring at my glass of wine, unsure where to start. Wine at lunch while there's still work after? Perfect combination if you ask me.

"Honestly? I don't even know anymore."

"Then you can start with what you know."

I stayed silent for a moment.

"I started feeling awkward whenever I go out with Yujin. Not awkward like I feel uncomfortable with her, but because of how I feel whenever I'm around her." I said, sounding unsure.

"How do you feel around her?"

"... I don't know. I can't really explain it aside from the fact that this is new to me."

"Hmm." Mashiro hummed and didn't ask anything. I also didn't say anything because I didn't know how to explain it to her.

"How about this," I turned my gaze towards her. "I'll just ask you a few questions which you can answer with a yes or no. And if you can explain a bit why that's your answer, that can help too."

"You sound like a high school guidance councilor."

"... Thanks? Anyway, first question. When you go out on a drive with her, do you look at her before starting the car?"

"I don't see the relevance-"

"Yes or no, Ting."

"... Yes, I guess. I tend to ask her where we'll go whenever we're in the car. So, yes, I look at her before starting the car."

"Do you look at her eyes when you talk to her?"

"Yes. Where else would I look, dummy."

"Unnecessary comments are irrelevant in this conversation. Next, do you like talking to her?"

"Yes, of course."

"Do you wait for her texts or calls all day?"

"... Yes."

"Do you want to see her all the time?"

"... Lately, yes. Where exactly is this going?"

"Shush. Trust the process, my dear friend. Do you expect a certain degree of affection from her?"

"What does that mean?"

"Like, do you expect her to treat you unlike everyone else?"

"Well, we consider ourselves to be best friends, so I think, yes. I would feel... weird? I don't know the right term to use but I don't think it would be pleasant if I knew she was as close to anyone else."

"Ah, I see."

"What? What do you see?" I weirdly looked at her 'cause there were only buildings and cars on our peripherals.

"That you're dense."

"Pardon?"

"No, never mind. Anyway, next question, let's go with the scenario that Yujin eonnie and I Chaehyun are as close as you are. Would you mind it?"

I though it over. "No? They're already close now and I don't really mind it."

"What about Yujin eonnie and Ms. Cai Bing?"

I whipped my head towards her and glared. "Of course, I'll mind it! I don't feel good with that Cai Bing from the start."

"Why?"

I froze at her question. Why, indeed? Yujin already said that they were just friends, just like her and Chaehyun. What was different with Cai Bing?

"Maybe that was too abrupt of a question. Answer this instead, if Ms. Cai Bing and Yujin eonnie were in a relationship, would you give them your blessings?"

"Friendship? I don't see why not. As long as Cai Bing doesn't step out of line."

"No, not as friends. But more than that- lovers."

"Huh?"

"Girlfriends. Dating. Couple. Romantically involved with each other. Whatever you call it."

I don't know why, but a part of me broke at the thought. "B-but Yujin's- she's not-"

"Ting, it's just a what if scenario. So?"

I drank the remainder of my wine in one shot. "... If she's happy with her, who am I to stop her?"

"Would you support them?"

"My opinion wouldn't matter-"

"Ting, stop lying to yourself." Mashiro reached out her hand to squeeze mine before letting go. I put down my wine on the nearby table and sat down on a chair. I rubbed my face with both of my hands.

"No, I won't."

"Can you tell me why?"

"I'm not sure. It's just- I don't want her to be with anyone else. Aside from you guys. Maybe that's how I treat my friends?" I said but more like asked.

"Well, do you feel anything like what we discussed whenever you're around me?"

"Ew, no."

I received a slap to my shoulders which made me laugh. "That 'ew' was completely unnecessary, you brat."

After my laughter died down, I looked at her. She also sat down beside me as we looked at the view in front of us.

"Ting, do you really think that you just treat Yujin eonnie as your friend? Don't you think that maybe it's something, I don't know, more than that?"

This made freeze and think about my past interactions with a certain singer.

From the start, I've always wondered if the things I did for Yujin was enough. I wondered if my lack of friends made me want to do better for Yujin. I wondered if she likes the things I like. I wondered if I like the things she likes. I wondered when she'd text or call me. I wondered if it was normal to want her attention to me and only me.

There were other signs too. It didn't matter anymore what we did as long as we were together.

I like how she calls me random pet names.

How she twirls her hair when she's unsure.

How she hugs me whenever she's happy.

How her eyes turn into crescents when she laughs.

How her hands fit in mine like puzzle pieces.

Ah. I see now.

I like her. I like Yujin.

Oh my God, that's not how you treat a friend.

"Ah, shit."

"Just realized it?"

Mashiro laughs while I rubbed my temples. This is a problem. I might have said it out loud because Shiro asked why it would be a problem.

"Well, first off, we're just friends. Second, she's an idol and although she's already popular enough to have a big loyal fanbase, I don't think majority of her supporters would like their beloved idol in a relationship because of that toxic culture of fandoms thinking that they know what's best for them. I wouldn't care about that because I can just provide for the both of us but I know Yujin loves performing on the stage- she shines and I don't want to take away that sparkle from her. And lastly, I don't even know if she likes women. or being in a relationship in general."

"Okay. First, friends can become lovers if you both consent it. Second, Yujin eonnie is popular abroad. We know that public relationships don't matter to them as much, aside from the scoop of course. Besides, you don't have to be public about your relationship. Third, that's why you should get to know her more! Personally, I think eonnie has an interest in you." She winked and I felt my heart flutter at the thought if it was true.

"What if she just thinks of me as a good friend?" My shoulders drooped.

"I can't assure you with how Yujin eonnie really feels for you, but would you be satisfied with your current status and spend the rest of your life thinking of what ifs or... risk taking a leap in hopes of a happier relationship with your other half? Shen Xiaoting, I didn't raise you to be a coward."

I laughed at her words. "That's right. I didn't obtain everything I have now by being scared, right? Besides, if my heart breaks I'll just drown myself with work and when I move on, I'll go back to being friends with her."

"I don't like the sound of the last part but I'll take that for now," Then she whispered her next statement which I couldn't hear. "I'm a hundred percent sure that eonnie likes you back anyway- more than you'll ever know, Captain Dense."

"Sorry, I couldn't hear what you said. What was that?" I asked, puzzled.

"Nothing, just about how we'll suffer when you become extra workaholic. Anyway, do you plan to do anything?"

"I guess," I shrugged. "I'll try to drop tiny hints of my interest for her, but it depends on how she reacts."

"That's okay for now." She replied.

"But... But is it really okay for us to keep doing what we do?" I asked unsure.

"You mean like hanging out or something? Of course, you're still friends, right?"

I nodded. "Yes, but what I meant was- I'm not sure how to put this. But, I feel like I'm taking advantage of her. You know how she's... intimate with the people close to her."

"Is there anything wrong with that?"

"Knowing how I feel for her, it feels like lately whenever I hold her hand, hug her waists, brush our shoulders when walking or even when I just look at her, it's like I'm invading her personal space."

"How so?"

"Because she might feel how I feel towards her."

"How so?"

"She might not like being too close to me."

"How so?"

"'Cause I want more!" I shouted frustrated and glared at her as she laughed at my expression. "Damn it, Shiro."

"Yeah, sorry. I needed you to come to terms with your feelings. I think you already established that you like her to yourself. I think that's part of the reason why you avoided her lately. Then you realized that liking someone brought various different emotions. It was a defense mechanism of some sort because you weren't ready to confront your feelings, so you ran away. I'm glad that you opened up about this to me because I think deep inside you, you wanted the reassurance that it was okay. It's okay to like someone. It's okay to find them attractive. It's okay to like Yujin eonnie."

I pondered over her words and she's right. I feel so stupid for me to take this long to realize the depth of my feelings.

"Thank you, Shiro."

"Nah, I'm just trying to be a good friend."

"Well, you're doing an excellent job, so thank you again."

"Don't mind it. I just basically explained how it was just you gay panicking for- Ouch!"

I threw a crumpled tissue paper at her to shut her mouth. "I didn't threw it that hard, stop overreacting."

"Stop overreacting, okay coming from someone who got jealous and avoided her soulmate over it."

"You little-" I couldn't even finish what I was saying when the short marshmallow ran out of the balcony with a peace sign.

I shook my head at her but smiled. Suddenly, she popped her head back in.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Still not finished teasing me?"

"I'll let you take a short break. But I do have another thing to say. As glad as I am that you finally admitted how you feel for her, I hope that it won't take you too long to do something about it."

"What exactly do you mean?"

"Step up your game or someone else might take away your precious Yujin." She shrugged her shoulders. "Or you can take your time, lowkey observe how she feels about you, and just like you said, drop small hints. It's really up to you, but just know that I'm cheering you on, Ting."

"I see. Thank you, Shiro."

"No worries." She left which gave me time to think of my next actions.

I have to talk to Yujin.