A Better Ending, pt. 1

Severus and Harry Apparated to the gates of Hogwarts, then approached the castle. Severus walked much more quickly than Harry, who felt a twinge of annoyance at the way Severus’ cloak billowed behind him. Severus was still trying to put on a haughty act to distance himself, despite everything that had changed. The memories, Harry hoped, would at least begin to mend Severus’ misguided anger and dismissal of close relationships. 

“Why not just use Legilimency?” Harry asked, quickening his pace. 

Severus sighed, as though Harry had asked where the sun went every night. “The Pensieve focuses the memories. Although I am an experienced Legilimens, I only see flashes of thought. Had I not taught you that in your time?” 

“We didn’t get along. I hated you. You hated me, at least it seemed. Because of it, I never really learned Occlumency, and…I let Sirius die.” 

“I suppose I need not have tried to teach you, then.”

Harry reddened with anger. “Look, I saw firsthand what Sirius did to you. He was protecting his beliefs with little consideration of the consequences. If you’re going to come back from the dead, though, you’re going to have to put the past aside. He’ll do the same for you, if he believes you’ve changed.” 

“I have no intention of getting along with Black.”

“You don’t need to prove who’s more stubborn, it’s obviously you. Who else would pretend to be a criminal for two years as some sort of twisted self-punishment?”

“I did what I had to do. He has done nothing.”

“Most people have done nothing. You hate most people?”

Severus was silent for a moment, then said, “Your judgement is clouded because he was your father’s friend.”

“How can you say my judgement is clouded when you base your opinions on your childhood? During which, I might add, is when you were in the Dark Arts. Besides, you two are more similar than you think.” 

“Oh? And how is that, Potter?”

“You both eventually turned away from Voldemort, even though it made the most sense, given your backgrounds. You both were widely accused of a crime you didn’t commit. You both were dedicated to protecting me. You were both in the Order, both glutton for punishment. And both of you loved someone who never loved you back…” 

“What was the last one?”

“Nothing.”

Severus whisked his wand to open the front doors. 

Harry knew if he continued talking about Sirius he’d make things worse. He had to change the subject to let Severus think about what he’d said. “Listen, when you’re using the Pensieve, I hope you see what you could’ve done to change things, not because you’ll have the chance, but so you can see how you need to be in the future.”

Severus said nothing, so Harry stopped trying to give advice. They walked up to Dumbledore’s Office, which now, Harry realized, would be Professor McGonagall’s Office. 

“Fizzing Whizbees,” Harry said.

“How do you know the password?” Severus asked as they walked upstairs. 

“Raven and I came here. That’s how we knew you were alive. She’s looking for you now, actually.” Harry searched Severus for a reaction, but there was only a flicker in his eyes to indicate he’d heard. 

Upon their entrance, some of the painted depictions of former headmasters stood up, Dumbledore included. “Severus. Welcome home.” 

“Albus.” Severus nodded at him. 

“And hello again, Harry.” AIbus turned toward Severus. “I did not imagine you would remain a double agent for this long. You never cease to surprise me.” His gaze moved pointedly along the distance between Severus and Harry, before resting on the former. “Though I can imagine you do not want to return.”

“I agreed to return if Potter showed me his memories.”

Albus raised an eyebrow. “Tit for tat, I see. Severus, you will find Harry’s memories are still in the Pensieve. And Harry, have a look in the very back cabinet for me.” 

By the time Harry reached the back of the room, Severus had immersed himself in the memories. 

With a glance back at Albus, Harry opened the cabinet doors, then stepped back. Inside was the Mirror of Erised. 

Harry searched his reflection. Though it was just himself staring back, something was still different. Just when he thought he’d figured it out, his reflection reached under his shirt and pulled a pendant out from underneath. Then he dropped the pendant into his pocket.

Harry, remembering the Philosopher’s Stone trick, reached into his pockets. In his right, he felt glass brush against his fingertips. He pulled out a vial, which he held up to study more closely. The liquid inside was clear, but when it caught the light it flashed reddish gold, like Fawkes. 

Harry looked back into the mirror, now truly seeing his own reflection, then turned to the portrait of Albus.

“What is this, sir?”

“They are tears from a phoenix, Harry. Although my death was unexpected, I knew I was risking my life by facing Voldemort. I said farewell to Fawkes and collected the tears that followed; he might’ve known the fate that faced me. The tears are one of the few things I have hidden in the Mirror.” Albus drew a long breath, then exhaled slowly. “Raven told me you had to watch Severus die…Think of this as a testament to your faith in this time. You still have the power to change, but in the present. I hope it will make you feel more secure.”

“Yes, I think it will…” A picture of the original Order on Albus’ desk caught his attention. “Hang on, how many people can this heal?” 

“It depends on the circumstances, but at least two.”

“Is there anything it can’t heal?”

“I have not had the opportunity to try it on problems inherited at birth, but any injury sustained since, I believe it can.” 

Harry sat down, thinking. If he acted on his idea, he would use up the phoenix tears. He would no longer have their security, though he’d demonstrate he could still help others. As he considered how to go through with the plan, he let his eyes close, and gradually fell asleep… 

“Harry, wake up.”

Harry stirred from his sleep and turned to Albus, who had also appeared to’ve dozed off. Then Harry noticed what was wrong; Severus had disappeared. Harry turned and immediately saw that the Pensieve was glowing green. 

“Professor—sir—what’s going on?” Harry hurried over, peering into the water. 

Albus moved between paintings to get a better look. “It appears to have taken him. If I had to guess, he wanted to stay in your memories. Go in after him, quick, before he is trapped.” 

Harry nodded and submerged his face in the basin. When his surroundings sharpened, he found himself in the Gryffindor common room.

“Save your breath, Potter. I’m tired of your excuses. I told you before that I wanted to wait.” Lily turned away from James.

James stepped towards her. “I thought you loved me.”

Adult Severus was shadowing young Severus. He hadn’t noticed Harry arrive.

Lily rolled her eyes. “You’re such a fucking child. Yes, I thought there was something between us—”

“There is!” James cut in desperately.

“…but I was wrong. You only wanted to get up my skirt.”

Harry began to approach the adult Severus, whose eyes flickered in his direction before focusing again on the scene.

“That’s not true. Lily…I do love you.” James gazed into her eyes for what seemed to be his perfect, pre-determined time, then leaned in and—

“LEVICORPUS!” James was flung into the air by his ankle. Lily turned to see who had cast the spell. When she saw that it had been Severus, her brow furrowed and she turned toward James.

Harry stood next to adult Severus, hoping his presence would bring him from his trance. Harry let Severus watch himself stand up to James, and when the scene dissolved, he said, “If you don’t leave now you’ll be stuck here. You want this too much.”

Severus seemed to register this, but he was too focused on his younger self, who embraced Lily.

Tears of relief and regret ran from Lily’s eyes to his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

Young Severus gripped her tightly, not wanting to lose her again. “No, it’s my fault.”

Lily smiled, though he couldn’t see it. “I couldn’t have imagined you saying that until now.”

“I promise, I’ve changed.”

Lily let go and tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. “I know. I would’ve believed it at the beginning of the year, but I didn’t know if it would last, I was hurt, and I didn’t want to risk going through that again.” She took his hands and studied him. “You probably think I’m pathetic. I was protecting myself when I should have been protecting you, too. You’re so incredibly strong, and Jacob and Raven are the best friends you could hope for.” She studied their entwined fingers.

“I shouldn’t have said what I said. I—I didn’t mean it then, and I don’t mean it now, not about anyone.” Young Severus bit his lip, eyes reddening, but still dry. When he opened his mouth to speak again, his breath shook. “I missed—I missed having you around.”

Lily smiled, and this time he could see. “Me too, Severus.”

The scene disappeared. They were back in the Headmaster’s office.

Severus stumbled over to the desk, barely supporting himself. “Why did you let me see that,” he managed.

Harry waited for him to continue, unsure what Severus would say or do next.

Severus straightened, fingers at his temple. “Why bother trying to improve my childhood? There is nothing you can change that far back without bringing significant consequences.”

“Even if it didn’t work, haven’t you learned why things were better in that time?”

Severus narrowed his eyes. “I already knew she would have improved my life. And it does not matter if it was better so long as it is impossible. Anyone’s life would be better with someone to give them the answer to every problem, to prevent every mistake, but it is not within our power to have that luxury.”

“That’s not what I meant. You had people who cared about you—”

“Spare me the torture of having to listen to more of your drivel, Potter.”

Harry gritted his teeth. “It’s not better to live your life on your own. I know from experience. I lived with the Dursleys for most of my life, and they ignored me. I grew up sort of how you had—neglected, angry, miserable. I was ready to be alone at Hogwarts, but thanks to Ron, who wanted to be my friend despite who I was, as well as Hermione, I was happy. And, like you, I pushed my friends away many times, because I knew if I distanced myself, we’d all be better off.” Harry blinked, realizing he was straying away from the point. “It seems easier to be alone, and I know for you it seemed to be because you didn’t have the confidence, and you didn’t think people wanted to be around you, except out of pity. But look at your parents. They were alone as adults, and probably alone as kids, and they had miserable lives. You know how you felt after Lily died? That pain is a whole lot more tolerable when you have other people in your life.”

Severus studied Harry, and somehow, Harry could sense Severus’ Occlumency fade. The look Severus gave was skeptical, but not blank or hateful.

Albus cleared his throat, forcing Severus to look away. “The Ministry will need convincing of your innocence, Severus. I will visit my portrait in Kingsley Shacklebolt’s office. There is a new fireplace that connects the Minister of Magic and this room. You can access it with a whiskey spell—the one from the annual staff party, Severus. Harry will go first.”

Severus nodded and looked to where Albus pointed, then waved his wand in a sweeping motion, revealing the fireplace.

Albus nodded toward Harry. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Harry threw Floo Powder into the fireplace and crawled inside. “Office of the Minister of Magic.” He felt himself spin, faster and faster, passing by room after room until he stumbled out of the Minster of Magic’s fireplace.

“Harry! What were you doing in Albus’ office? Are you all right?” Kingsley Shacklebolt helped Harry catch his balance.

“There’s something you need to know; I met with Albus about it. Er, sorry if I surprised you. How are you, otherwise?”

Kingsley, already recovered, gestured for Harry to sit down. “Caught up in a great deal of work, but otherwise I’m well. What did you want to talk about? I don’t mean to rush you, but I have a meeting in twenty minutes.”

“Oh. Alright, I need you to trust us.”

Albus entered his Ministry portrait. “Evening, Kingsley.”

“Good to see you, Albus. What is this about?”

Albus gestured to Harry, who explained; “After Albus was killed, Severus Snape supposedly returned to Voldemort. Well, he only led everyone to believe that. He was working for Albus all along.”

Kingsley glanced at Albus, who nodded. “If this is true, why not tell me after Voldemort died? It’s been two years.”

“Severus had an unofficial will where he said to keep this a secret for two years after he disappeared. I found him and he—”

“So he’s alive?” Kingsley blinked.

“Yeah. He’s spent the past two years pretending to help Voldemort’s old followers regain power, but has actually been turning them in. Do you know anyone who’s done that for the Ministry?”

Kingsley nodded. “But whoever it is has remained anonymous, for the most part. I am the only one to have seen the man, and he instructed me to keep his appearance a secret, which I have. But he looked nothing like Severus.”

The fireplace blazed, and a stout man with gray hair walked through, wearing robes too tight and long for his frame. “Good morning, Minister.”

“It’s you.” Kingsley reached out to shake the man’s hand.

Harry had already made the connection. It was Severus.

The skin on the man’s face bubbled and he stretched up, becoming taller and thinner. His hair grew and turned black, his eyes darkened, skin paled. Then Severus, back to his former self, said, “I took the form of a homeless man from London when I brought the Dark Lord’s followers. I still have Polyjuice potion, and you will find I captured Lester Rowle. He is currently incapacitated, but alive, at my home.”

Kingsley sat at his desk, shaken. “If you are—and have been—on our side, then how did you keep Voldemort’s trust?”

“Of his followers, I was the most skilled at the Dark Arts. And you know before joining Albus I overheard the prophecy that led the Dark Lord to murder James Potter and Lily Evans.”

“Hadn’t they married, and she’d taken his name? Lily Potter?”

Severus frowned, ignoring the question. “I went to Albus and he agreed that in exchange for their protection, I would work as a double agent.”

“But why did you care about them?” 

Severus glanced at Harry. “I…had feelings for his mother.”

Kingsley’s eyebrow raised slightly, but whatever laughter and taunting Severus seemed to expect did not come. “But she still died.”

“Yes. But her son survived, and I vowed to protect him. Over the following years, I passed on any intelligence I gained from the remainder of the Dark Lord’s forces. When he returned, I used Occlumency to hide my thoughts, and told whatever lie I needed to in order to keep his trust. I led him to believe I was bound by several Unbreakable Vows, I stayed on good terms with the Slytherin house, I openly ridiculed Harry and other Gryffindors. If I was assigned a particularly terrible mission, I would complete it minimally, give scant detail, make him believe Albus was constantly on my trail, which only increased the Dark Lord’s fear of him. I, as you know, gave the Order valuable information, and later helped kill the Dark Lord.”

Albus noticed Kingsley’s hesitation and cut in, “My own word will not hold much value in court, but Harry and his friends, as well as Raven Faralyn, will be most useful in testifying.”

Kingsley nodded, then turned to Severus. “Why not give these details to the Order? We never fully trusted you, and it seems a waste to treat you the way we have.”

Severus shook his head. “If anyone else in the Order had known, the Dark Lord would have known. The more ambiguous I remained, the more faith he would have in me.”

The three waited for Kingsley to think everything through. Finally, he said, “The various factions that have emerged since the War have proved difficult to unite. There are those who are less forgiving of crimes committed in the wars. If I clear your name, I could seem too trusting. I have to hold a hearing with a few other important members of the Ministry to keep the peace.”

“I understand. Do you really believe they will take my word?” 

“Times have changed, Severus.” Kingsley smiled slightly.