Furry Little Problem, pt. 2

Harry woke up the next morning, earlier than anyone else. He glanced at his watch—it was an hour before breakfast—and got up quietly. He dressed and freshened up, then headed to the common room. He reached the Great Hall before most of the other students had arrived. Of the students there, there was the highest percentage of Ravenclaws and the lowest percentage of Gryffindors. Harry was the only first year at his table. The rest of the students were older, either exhausted and yawning or catching up with friends. 

The dishes on the table were filled with fresh fruits, variously cooked eggs, baked goods, and breakfast meats. Harry helped himself to hash browns and toast and ate quietly until everyone else arrived. 

Lily and Severus joined Harry first, eventually followed by Lupin, Raven, Peter, and finally James and Sirius. The three other first year girls came last, right behind the two boys, giggling. Harry knew by looking at them that he doubted the group they’d established would get along well with them. However, Lily must’ve seen something in them if they’d been friends; “None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you,”she had said in Snape’s memories.

Maybe not becoming friends with those girls would help Severus and her stay close. By the way they looked with distaste at Severus and with interest at Sirius and James proved that their opinions must’ve had an impact on how she’d felt. 

Professor McGonagall went around the table, handing out schedules. Harry looked over his; it wasn’t much different from the one he had the last time he was a first year. Today they started in Charms with Professor Flitwick. 

“It should be easy, since we did pretty well on the train,” Lily said as they left the Great Hall. 

The other three nodded. Harry let them talk about the schedules as he remained silent, thinking about what lay ahead. How easy would it be to constantly pretend he was struggling with spells just like everyone else? He was more advanced than probably any other student in the school, with an exception of the seventh years. It’d be annoying to act dumb, or even average, at the most basic of spells. And yet, if he became like Hermione, acing nearly everything, knowing the answer to every question, people would develop an opinion of him—whether it was jealousy, annoyance, or whatever. He would be remembered, important, when he needed to be forgotten, significant only to a few. 

In Charms class, it was easier for Harry to not raise his hand when he knew the answer than to perform the spell the wrong way. He realized this when they were given a simple charm that was supposed to spin an object. Harry couldn’t figure out how to not do it right without saying the complete wrong words or waving his wand completely wrong. In other words, without acting like a complete idiot. The best Harry could manage was to put as much time between his tries as possible so it seemed like he was taking a while to figure it out, just like everyone else. 

On his first try, Harry flicked his wand wildly, causing many around him to snicker. Now he definitely was getting unwanted attention. Harry immediately retried the spell perfectly, partly to draw attention away from himself and partly because it was hard to ignore immature ridicule when he could do the spell better than any of them.

Unfortunately, it seemed like either way he decided to go through school would yield the same attention; either be a genius, and have respect from teachers and peers, but draw more attention and possibly suspicion to himself, or be dumb, and be teased and have others look down on him.

Professor Flitwick, beaming, hurried over to where Harry was sitting. 

“Mr. Walker—correct? Yes, Walker, that was brilliant!”

Harry glanced at his friends, who looked frustrated at their lack of results and the ease in which he succeeded. He shrank in his seat, guilty from his dishonesty. He had to find a middle ground. 

“Thank you, Professor…” Harry trailed off and sighed. His mood improved slightly only when the other three got the spell right a mere minute after him. They all seemed intelligent in different ways; Snape could edit the spell slightly so it was more effective. Raven could easily identify what she was doing wrong and fix it accordingly. Lily initially relied on the book’s instructions, but then depended on how the spell felt. Harry’s new friends might be hard to compare to his best, but he thought Hermione’s learning best matched Raven, while Ron followed Lily’s. Severus was on a whole other plane of intelligence. 

Lupin finished a couple minutes after the four had finished, followed closely by James, then Sirius, and lastly Peter. Frustration was childishly radiating from James, clear by the angry glances he kept throwing the four. Harry was glad to get away from his annoyed stare at the end of class.  

“That was amazing!” Lily nearly skipped beside the others on the way to Potions. Out of that day’s schedule it was the only class besides Charms that Harry really thought was going to be significant; both Lily and Severus were excellent at Potions, and Harry would get to have another opportunity to study their talent. 

The group walked down to the dungeons, all shining with excitement for what lay ahead.

“Potions…I wonder what it’ll be like. A newt’s eye, nightshade…that sort of thing, right?” 

Harry smiled. “Yeah, probably.” 

“I hope it’s as fun as Charms!”

“Me too,” Snape said. Raven and Harry nodded.

They passed the large group of first year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, who eyed the Slytherins and Gryffindors curiously. A couple of the Slytherins snickered at the two houses, probably aimed at the few scrawny, wide-eyed kids who turned toward the source of the laughter. Harry was relieved to see that James was too engrossed in his conversation with Sirius to notice the other students. 

Harry realized he had ended up as the head of the group. He was the most confident in the directions, as he had taken this route so many times before. He dropped back as the class filed into Professor Slughorn’s room. 

“Welcome, first years!” Slughorn shook the students’ hands before they took their seats. He seemed considerably more happy and youthful than when Harry had last seen him. 

“Please set up, everyone!” Slughorn’s gaze swept the room, surveying his new students. There was a collected thud of books and clanging of scales as the class took out their supplies. 

“My name is Professor Slughorn! Welcome to Potions class!” The Professor was brimming with excitement. He launched into an introduction of the class, gesturing to a few samples. 

“Now, it’s a custom of mine, on the first day, to award a special prize to the student who manages to brew the most exceptional potion in class! Now…” He had a few basic potions set up at his desk. In his most dramatic voice, Slughorn explained that whoever brewed the best potion won an Energy Increasing Potion, a relatively easy-to-make substance that would increase the drinker’s spirit and diminish weariness. 

Harry purposely missed one of the last steps, allowing Severus to win the contest. Raven wasn’t close; she messed up many of the steps. Lily came second only to Severus. Slughorn was at first tempted to split the prize, but when he tested it, Severus’ potion yielded slightly better results than Lily’s. 

The rest of the day rushed by quickly. Nothing life-altering happened, but Harry did get a better sense of his classmates, specifically the Marauders and his new friends. James was already developing a crush on Lily; he kept glancing over at her every time he did something right in class, hoping she would notice. Harry was thoroughly amused at his crumpled look of rejection when he saw that Lily wasn’t paying attention. 

Sirius spent most of his time talking to James and charming the girls in class, though he preferred James’ attention. Sirius was hard to dislike, despite his ego, though Harry knew his opinion would change when he started bullying people. 

For the majority of the time, Lupin remained quiet, though he occasionally cracked a smile at one of James’ or Sirius’ jokes. He looked even more ill than he had Thursday, but not quite at the same level as he was as a teacher the day before he had to take leave. Harry thought it was kind that he had been adopted into the group before they knew him well. 

Peter seemed to have been allowed into the group simply to supply a laugh track. He was constantly cracking up, and while this annoyed Harry, it only boosted James and Sirius’ confidence.

Raven was only a little less shy than Lupin. She didn’t voice any of her thoughts, but it seemed like she had the same opinion about many things as Harry did. She always rolled her eyes after particularly loud burst of laughter from wherever the Marauders were sitting in that class. As Harry would gain her trust, however, she exchanged her looks with him. 

Harry already had a good idea of Lily and Severus’ personality, but he got a better idea of their relationship. Lily was completely comfortable around Severus and oblivious to any discomfort and awkwardness he felt at her enthusiasm and touch. Harry noticed that Severus was a lot happier now that he was away from home and spending more time with Lily. 

At supper, they discussed the day in detail. The excitement from the morning had dampened only slightly, mostly because everyone was worn out from the long day. 

“Hey, are you okay?” 

Harry stopped chewing and looked over at Lily. She had asked Lupin, who had heavy rings under his eyes and was ghostly pale. Lily was naturally concerned about others, so it made sense that she would ask. Lupin looked up, startled, surprised that anyone would notice he was off. 

“Uh, yeah, fine,” he managed. He sank down in his seat a bit under the pressure of the stare of the first years around him. 

Everyone listening clearly doubted he was okay, but returned to their conversations anyway. Lupin glanced back at Lily occasionally after that, but Harry couldn’t tell what he was thinking by his expression. 

Most of the students went straight to their dorms after eating. Severus and Harry headed upstairs, got ready for bed, then settled down for the night. 

Harry lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, reflecting on the day’s events. This is it, he thought. I am officially part of this. 

Friday passed. Nothing too eventful happened, but many students were beginning to discuss the upcoming Quidditch tryouts. Harry also noted that Lupin looked even worse than he had Thursday—so Saturday or Sunday was definitely the day of the full moon. Harry wondered whether or not he was going to anything about Lupin tomorrow night. He considered his options that Friday evening as he ate. Later, as he lay in bed, he decided that whichever day it was he’d use his invisibility cloak and go down to the soon-to-be-named Shrieking Shack just to witness what Lupin had to go through. 

Saturday was mild, so Severus, Lily, Harry, and Raven went down by the lake to finish their assignments from Friday. It was peaceful down by the water where there weren’t many other people and the weather was calm and breezy. The four worked on their remaining homework, then talked.

Lupin was gone that day. No one had seen him, but everyone Harry asked either didn’t know him or said they’d heard he was sick. 

He was gone the next day, too, and after finding out that the full moon would be that night, Harry donned his invisibility cloak and set out. 

The light was fading outside. The moon was not yet out, and there was a soft, golden light over the grounds. Harry headed toward the Whomping Willow, taking in the beautiful scenery. He turned and looked at the castle, which seemed even more magnificent when basked in the sun’s dying rays. 

When he was just out of range of the Whomping Willow, he levitated a stick to prod the knot at the base of the trunk, freezing its branches. Harry strode to the opening at the base, bent over, then slid down the tunnel. He reached the stairs that led to the interior of the shack and paused. He could hear soft crying coming from behind the slightly open door above him, and he felt his eyes prickle reflexively.

Harry cast Severus’ Muffling Spell on the Shack and climbed the stairs carefully. He tried the handle of the side door, but it was locked. Lupin sounded far enough away from the entrance, so Harry unlocked the door, opening it wide enough so he could see. Lupin was slumped against the wall on the other side of the room, naked, his breath shuddering. The inside was dark, but Harry could make out his expression.

Lupin suddenly stopped crying and froze. He looked upward, as his body felt the full moon’s power. Lupin’s body shuddered, and he began to change. Harry knew this might be his only safe chance to go inside, so he quickly entered, locking the door behind him. He decided, against his better judgement, to stay and see what pain Lupin was subjected to; not as though he were watching some circus freak, but to understand and connect with him. 

Harry slipped in and headed upstairs. There was bound to be some way he could watch from the second floor where he was in less danger of being discovered. He closed the door at the top of the stairs behind him and cast a quick spell so it couldn’t be opened.

A long, sad howl cut through the night. Harry shivered, the sound ringing in his ears, even after it faded out. Harry spotted a significantly sized crack in the floorboards and crouched down next to it. On the floor below, Lupin raced back and forth, paws scratching on the floor. Then he suddenly stopped, panting slightly. Lupin slowly stood up and sniffed the air. He silently started toward the stairs, as if stalking prey. 

Harry had expected Lupin to eventually realize his presence, but he hadn’t researched to find a spell he could cast to prevent himself from having a scent. Lupin seemed to detect where the smell was coming from and started slinking in that direction. Soon he was out of view, and Harry had no idea how fast he would reach the second floor. He drew his wand just in case, and pointed it at the entrance. “Protego.” Just after he added the extra protection, Lupin slammed into the door. Harry heard him cry out in pain, as he had expected the door to give. Harry knew that Lupin wouldn’t be able to get in, but his heart was still beating quickly. 

Lupin begged and whined at the door for five minutes before silence fell. Harry looked back down through the crack in the floorboards and saw no sign of him. He reached into his cloak and pulled out a pocketbook and quill. To pass the time, he wrote about his experiences so far, and made notes about possible plans for the future. He was making a Pros and Cons list about the upcoming flying lessons when Lupin started inflicting pain on himself. 

The first cry of pain made Harry jump, and he immediately looked down below at what was progressing beneath him.

Lupin furiously bit and scratched himself, screaming and shrieking as his jaws tore his flesh. Harry had the desperate urge to do something, to stop what was happening. Wasn’t there a spell that could help him protect Lupin? If there was one, wouldn’t have Dumbledore thought of it? Or did he have a reason for not helping Lupin beyond isolating him? But that would be cruel…still, there seemed to be obvious solutions. Couldn’t they make him unconscious when the moon was up? Or would his body automatically fight any spell or potion that could do so, the same way it fought sleep? 

Harry thought of a better solution that was a bit complicated. He picked up a few pieces of scrap material lying around in the room, and transfigured them into mice. As the creatures scurried about, Harry racked his mind for the spell that would control them in the way he needed. After experimenting for about an hour under the pressure of Lupin’s cries of agony, he had produced a dozen cursed mice.

Lupin’s head perked up as he noticed the mouse floating down from above. He snarled and stood on his haunches to reach toward it, but somehow it evaded him. Harry’s mixture of spells worked; the mouse was quick; it would allow Lupin to chase it, but not catch it. After a while, the curse would wear off and the mouse would change back, then another mouse would levitate down.

He levitated the first mouse and brought it slowly down to Lupin, who snarled and began chasing after it. Then, because he felt there was nothing left he could do, Harry cast a cushioning spell on the hard floor and laid down. He cast another spell to plug his ears from the scrabbling down below, but his conscious was still alive with emotion. 

Had he not considered, as a thirteen-year-old, or even a fifteen-year-old, how much Lupin had gone through? It took a true amount of strength for Lupin to keep living as normal of a life as he could manage, to surpass the agony of feeling alone, as Harry often felt, because no one seemed to understand what he was going through.

Lupin needs to be friends with someone like me, Harry decided, eyes closing. 

When Harry awoke, it was five in the morning. There were no more artificial mice left in the room. Harry rolled over and peered down the crack in the floorboards. Lupin was back in human form, fast asleep, curled into a fetal position. He had put his clothes back on, which it seemed had still been torn. He had scratches on his arms and face, red marks pronounced against his pale, sickly skin.

Harry considered how to best go through with his motive. He could start to leave without using the Muffling Spell so he’d be purposely discovered by Lupin. Then he’d just work it out from there…Of course, by exposing the fact that he knew would automatically create a bond between them. Dumbledore would probably be involved, and that would bring attention to him, and there was a possibility of the Headmaster figuring out that “Jacob” wasn’t who he said he was, but Lupin was more important. 

Harry walked downstairs quietly, waiting for the right moment. He hadn’t reached the creaking step yet when Lupin spotted him, mouth was ajar in shock. Lupin stared upwards at Harry. His bloodshot gold-brown eyes widened and his already pale face whitened. Neither said a word. Harry thought it was interesting that Lupin didn’t automatically bolt at the sight of him.