Lightning (Liam's pov)

I look over towards Henry, his hair bouncing up and down as he laughs maniacally. I laugh at the pea-brained idiot across the table from me. Jake leans into Drew, a tint of pink crossing over Drew's face as he reaches down and holds Jake's hand, caressing the side of his hand with his thumb.

Again, I laugh at the idiots around to me, looking over to see the Music Freaks wallowing in self pity. I frown, I knew how much this affected Jake. It's hard seeing one of your favorite people sad, much less horrifically depressed. Zoey kisses Lia's cheek, wrapping her arm around Lia and smiling. Lia laughs and just lifts her hand to touch Zoey's. Zoey giggles at her actions and kisses her cheek again, looking into Drew's eyes as he rolls his eyes, hugging up next to Jake, Jake rolling his eyes and nudging him playfully.

I smile at my idiot of a friend, looking at Henry. He looks lonely, lonelier than most would think. I see past his mask of happiness, that's one of the reasons that we are best friends. I'm the only one who can see through him, I know when he's angry or when he's upset about his parents, I know when he's feeling down. It makes me sad to think about my favorite person being lonely because I wish that I could make sure he's not lonely.

I loved Henry for awhile now. I know he's never like me like that, never like me the way I like him. I don't like him, I love him and he'll never love me. It's sad to know that the person you love doesn't love you. It's like you feel what you feel, but you don't want to feel like that all of the time, but you have to because you can't control it. I want to kiss him all of the time, I want to rub my hands through his lettuce green hair and cuddle him all night, but that will never happen.

I look into his forest green eyes, smiling at him longingly, wanting everything about him to myself. It feels impossible to admit my feelings, I'm always the one comforting someone else, but with Henry, it's different. We care for each other, we're equals to one another, never expecting more than the other from either of us.

I laugh at myself, tears stinging my eyes as I got up to run to the bathroom. "Liam, where are you going?" Zoey asks, not noticing my watery eyes. "O-oh, just the bathroom," I said calmly, turning my back and walking off towards the double doors of the cafeteria, tears streaming off of my heated and red cheeks, my brown eyes now puffy from crying.

I hoist open the bathroom door, shuffling into a stall after walking past the grimy sinks, covered in paper towels and foamy soap that dropped from the soap dispensers. I close the door behind me, locking the stall almost immediately, sliding down the plastic wall separating the the stall next to me from mine.

I slid down it, my butt making contact with the tile as more and more tears soaked my bright red face, light whimpers leaving my mouth. I wiped my eyes, trying to stop the tears that were falling down, but it was no use. Of course this would happen, this happens almost every day. On a good day I can suppress it and move on with the day, but on a bad one, I cry for hours. It doesn't always happen at the same time of day, sometimes it's at night, sometimes lunch, sometimes I leave class and never come back.

~Later~

Henry walks next to me, laughing at some of the outfits that the other kids were wearing. I looked at him in all his glory, his beautiful green eyes, his flawless smile and his fair skin that I wish I could have all to myself, but I know I can't. "Look at her shirt!" he exclaimed, belly laughing. I let out a light chuckle, not really finding it funny in the moment. If I were paying full attention to this girls' supposed hilarious shirt, then I probably would've laughed, but I was so distracted that I couldn't laugh, which, to be honest, sounds horrid at the least.

He stops laughing, freezing in his tracks, turning his head to stare at me. "Yeah?" I ask, curious as to why he's staring at me all wide-eyed and weird. "Are you okay?" he asks, stepping forward to grab my hand and squeeze it lightly. I flinched, not expecting the sudden touch with the boy I've been in love with forever. I would have absolutely loved this if he hadn't looked so innocent, so unaware, it made me want to hide in a corner and never come out.

"Oh, uh, yeah," I lie, not looking him in the eye because lying to Henry is like trying to fly for me; impossible. He raises one eyebrow, crossing his arms slyly and squinting his eyes in a frustrated manner. "Oh really? Why did you look away?" he asks. I move my arm to my neck, rubbing the area, trying to reassure myself that everything will be okay, but I know they won't. "See! You rubbed your neck! You only do that when you're nervous!" he exclaimed, almost like a detective, who would've known that the next Sherlock Holmes is Henry?

"I've just... been dealing with some stuff lately," I say, exhaling longingly, staring into his green eyes with exhaustion. He grabbed onto my arm and hugged up next to me, sending butterflies into my stomach. Henry doesn't know what he does to me, every movement, every smile sends pulsations through me that just makes me want to scream.

I love his freckles and his grass green hair, his forest eyes and his pale skin, everything about his just makes me so happy, but so sad at the same time.

We begin walking down to his house, looming over the sunset that dared to peak around the corner. "I'm gay," I blurt out calmly, strolling down the sidewalk, Henry next to me with our arms brushing every few seconds. To my surprise he continued walking, looking at me every few seconds, not uttering a word. "I know," he says, a surprised pang in my stomach arising. "You've been by far the gayest guy I've met in my entire lifetime." He nudges my arm, laughing and then returning to normal.

I could tell he knew I was being serious, but that's just Henry, the turn it into a funny situation kind of guy, unless he knows that it's really important, too important to laugh off. "As if." I nudged him back, laughing right back at him. He wrapped his short and stubby arm around my neck, still walking in the direction of his house. "I'm glad we can be like this," he says calmly, staring into the orange sky, trying to make shapes out of the vapor puffs that lay in the sky. "me too," I lie, tears stinging my eyes as I look up at the sky, Henry still on my arm walking down the sidewalk.

We walk into his house, his parents greeting the both of us before we walked up the stairs. He throws himself onto his bed, laying his head on his pillow, throwing his arms back under his head, propping himself up. He grabs a controller off of his nightstand and grips it tightly in his palms. I grab one too, plopping down right next to him crisscrossed on his comforter.

We played COD until our fingers hurt and then we decided to just lay on Henry's bed, my fingers fumbling with the comforter underneath us. "So, when did you know that you're gay?" he asks. The question hits me like a bullet because you never hear anyone ask you that in real life, but this boy, my best friend in the whole wide world wanted to know and that's exactly why I love him. He's not afraid to ask the questions that everyone else is terrified of asking, he'll ask and if you don't wanna talk about it, he leaves you alone and waits until you're comfortable with the topic. That's Henry, you're perfect best friend in a box, someone you probably want to order off of the internet, but is too good to be true.

"Oh, uh, I don't really know, I guess I kinda just fell in love with someone," I said, loosely, gasping once I said it, surprised that I even admitted it. He flinched next to me, turning his head to look at me before smiling. "Tell me about him," he says with an almost hurt tone, turning his head to face the ceiling. "Well, uh, I really love his smile, just seeing him happy makes me happy," I welt, almost losing myself completely. "His presence alone just brightens the room, you can tell, as soon as he walks into the room, everyone feels better, it's almost like instant relief, like a, like an Aspirin," I continue, throwing my arms under my head and looking up at the ceiling.

"But, I don't think he notices it, he doesn't ever seem to notice what he brings up in me." I sigh, staring at the ceiling with a sour face. "Have you ever been in love, Henry?" I ask, tears once again stinging my eyes as I wait for an answer. "Yeah, I have," he answers, a pit rises in my stomach as I turn my head to look at him. He's still looking at the ceiling as he continues with his answer. "He's amazing, almost like a paradise island that you never wanna leave." Wait, did he just say he? "H-he?" I question as he looks back over at me. "Y-yeah, he." I look at him intently, just looking at him in a comfortable silence.

"Are you in love with him now?" I reluctantly ask him, my cheeks flaring red as the tears stream down my face slowly. "Yeah," he says, my stomach sinks. This whole time I've thought that I had no chance with Henry, now I know that the reason I have no chance with him isn't because he's straight, but because he's in love with someone else.

"I'm pan, if you were wondering," he says, looking over to me once again, my eyes still set on the ceiling as I moved my arms up to wipe the tears away from my eyes. "How long have you known?" I asked, looking over at his pale face. "I've known since I was about 12, I always knew it, I just kinda didn't wanna believe it," he says, pausing before speaking again. "But, then I met you. You seemed so sad and lonely, so I walked over to you and asked to be friends. You fended off my bullies and I helped you with your issues, we were total opposites but it worked. After that I knew that I would never let anyone or anything degrade you to how you were before our friendship started, and uh yeah." I wondered how in the world that made him confirm his sexuality, but it didn't matter in the moment.

"How did you know that you were in love with this guy?" I asked, looking at him curiously. "Well, it was homecoming and I was getting something to drink over by the drink table and I saw him dancing with his friends, but all I could seem to notice was how he laughed and the specks in his eyes," he paused, a spark igniting in his eyes as he continued. "I'm not the most confident in crowds, you would know that, and he noticed that I wasn't doing so great in the crowd by myself, so he took me outside and sat there for the rest of the night with me." Wait, this story sounds familiar. Back at homecoming in  eighth grade when I only knew Drew and Henry, Henry had seemed to be uncomfortable so we sat outside for almost the whole night, just sitting on the stairs that lead up to the pathway to the gym.

Was he talking about me, was Henry seriously in love with me?

"So, uh, how did you know that you were in love with your guy?" he asks me in a bland tone. "Well, when I didn't really know anyone, it was when I first moved here, I wasn't necessarily 'popular' in school. I didn't exactly have any friends and my family wasn't doing so good, that's why we had to move because my dad's business was going under and there was nothing he could do about it, so we moved here. He approached me and no matter how many times I pushed him away or called him names, he always came back. About a year later in eighth grade, he came up to me and just laid his hand on my shoulder and just smiled at me. I suppose that's when I realized that I was in love with him."

He turned his head to look at me, we both sat up and just stared at his bed frame. "Earlier, when you told me the homecoming story, were you talking about me?" I asked sheepishly, turning my head to look at him as he looked at me. He didn't answer. Instead, he choked out a nervous laugh and rubbed his neck shyly. "Henry...are you in love with me?" I asked, turning my whole body towards him, showing him my full attention. He quickly nodded, closing his eyes and swallowing a lump in his throat. He turned his head to look at the headboard of his bed.

"When you told me the story about moving here, were you talking about me?" he asked, almost stuttering as he did. "Y-yeah, Henry, I was," I answered sweetly. He scooted next to me, leaning his head on my shoulder. "Hen, can I kiss you?" I ask, almost regretting it before he turned to face me and nodded. I leaned in and so did he. As soon as our lips touched, it was written in stone, we truly were in love with each other to a large extent and neither of us figured it out until now. The way he hummed into it and held his hands onto my arms was magic, we meshed almost immediately, our lips moving in sync as if we were an orchestra.

I moved my right hand to his neck, rubbing the divot that connects his collar bone to his shoulder blade with my thumb. He rubbed the crest of my elbow, pausing our heated make-out sesh by pulling away his lips, our foreheads still connected as he huffed out pants of air in desperation. I can't believe this just happened. I replayed the memories in my head, his small pale hands rested on my arm, caressing the skin on my arm lightly, my hands tousled in his grassy shaggy hair, rolling the hair in between my fingers.

I seriously just made out with my best friend that I've been in love with since eighth grade, the boy that has been stuck on replay for three years in my head. That's him, the boy I want to kiss all of the time and even if you told me today that I'd lose everyone I loved most if I pursued a relationship with Henry, I wouldn't care, I'd still want him and only him.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Henry asks, almost yelling as he asked the question, nearly bursting my eardrums as he was only about a few inches away from me. "Of course, Hen," I said reassuringly, rubbing my hands through his messy green hair before laying my head down on his chest, pushing him backwards onto the bed, wrapping my arms around his back as he put his hands on my lumbar, the both of us slowly drifting off to sleep in a blur, but to be honest, I'd rather die than not be able to wake up to this every day for the rest of my life.

I woke up to the smell of pancakes, Henry no longer underneath me and instead in the bathroom, the shower running could be heard from his bed. I looked out of the window out to the suburban neighborhood that Henry happened to live in. His parents did good for themselves, they had their stereotypical white picket fence gossip girl kinda life where life was one big tea party with drama and shit talking to be had everywhere you went.

Their next door neighbors, Mrs. and Mr. Chasity were your stereotypical conservative white christian folk who didn't get out very much but when they did you wish that they didn't. They seemed to go to Henry's house quite often, if I was Henry, I'd curl up in a corner and die. I've never heard Henry's family's opinions on LGBTQ+ and I honestly don't think I want to either. Mr. Chasity merely puts up with his wife's behavior and I don't blame him. If my significant other was a sassy prick like her I would merely put up with them too.

I go down the stairs to see Henry's dad sitting at his desk on the office computer with his reading glasses on and his mom standing at the stove, flipping pancakes and wiping the sweat off of her face. I see Mr. Chasity on the porch, standing there with his hands shoved into his trouser pockets. "Breakfast should be done soon, Liam, if you're hungry," Henry's mom cooed from the kitchen as she continued to wipe the sweat off of her face. "Thank you, but I think I'll pass, I'ma head home, but thanks for the offer!" I called to her as I exited the home. I stood out on the porch, Mr. Chasity turning his head to look at my tousled brown hair and tired expression.

The air smelled of freshly mown grass and the sun had shown through the tree in their front yard, stripes of sunlight lining the porch. "Morning, Liam." I looked at him in surprise, how did he know my name? "Henry tells me a lot about you," he paused, taking his hands out of his pockets, a picture now placed firmly in his hand. "Jeremiah Fletcher," he says, smiling a sad smile before continuing. "That's the name of my first and only boyfriend," he says. My eyes widen, boyfriend? Since when did he like guys? "Linda and I got married for the soul purpose of having kids, not out of love. My parents didn't believe in gay marriage and neither did hers, that made it perfect for our families, so we pretended to be this perfect couple and continued to live out our days with each other." I blinked, never letting my eyes wander from his. "Turns out, I'm a white liberal gay man who has a wife and a boyfriend. My wife tries to pretend that we love each other even when we're not in public, but I truly don't love her and I never will."

I smiled. "Well, tell me about this Jeremiah."

By the time we were done talking it was nearly noon. We brought our little chat over to his porch instead, not wanting to bother Henry's family by standing on their porch. He told me how he grew up in a New York apartment building not far from Central Park and how that's how he met his now boyfriend, Jeremy, he called him for short. He told me all about his homophobic parents and wife, how his cousin came out as lesbian and was basically disowned by his family. I told him about my secret obsession with my best friend which is now my boyfriend, it felt weird but amazingly weird to say that Henry was my boyfriend, it felt so right. I told him about me moving here when I was 12 in seventh grade and about my dad's business going out and falling under. It felt nice to talk to someone in this way, in some way it felt mesmerizing to be able to talk to someone like him, someone like me.

I soon left on my way home, walking down the sidewalk in the spring heat, my mind wandering to Henry again as I thought about his shaggy locks and his forest green eyes that just couldn't seem to go away, not that I'm complaining. I watched as the neighborhood kids played hopscotch and sold lemonade, some of the older kids skateboarding or riding their bikes around empty lots. I saw familiar faces as I turned the corner, Jake and Milo in their driveway along with Drew, of course, Milo drawing on the sidewalk with some chalk and Jake and Drew just leaning on Jake's mom's car, being all lovey-dovey. I might as well stop by.

I ran through Jake's lawn, all three of them turning their heads to face me. "Hey, Jake!" I yelled, raising my hand to wave hello before attempting to catch my breath. "What am I, chop liver?" Drew asks dramatically, staring me down before letting out a sigh and a chuckle. "Hello, your Highness!" I greeted him, bowing down before him like a peasant in his kingdom. "Ha-ha, I'm rolling over laughing," he wailed, maintaining eye contact with me as he did. Milo looked up at the three of us, eyeing Jake and Drew as Jake wrapped his arms around Drew, Drew placing his head on Jake's chest.

"Gross, get a room!" Milo shouted, sticking out his tongue at Jake as Jake returned the favor by doing the same. Drew didn't seem to mind though as he didn't move an inch at their bickering. "So, since when do you live in a rich neighborhood?" Drew asks, his head no longer buried in Jake's chest but now facing me. "What do you mean?" I asked before soon realizing that I came over here from the suburban neighborhood that's a dead end. "Oh, uh, I don't I just came back from Henry's." Suddenly someone came running up to me at full speed before jumping up, my arms catching their legs as I realized who it was that I was holding.

He placed a quick kiss on my lips before sinking his head into the crevice of my neck gently. Jake smiled as Drew's jaw dropped and then a scowl came across his face. "What's wrong with him?" Henry asked looking at Drew's sour expression. "I owe Jake a lot of money," Drew said as he no longer stood next to Jake but instead moved next to me and Henry. "Oh come on, Babe," Jake said as he approached Drew, wrapping his arms around him sweetly as Drew pouted, allowing this affection to occur.

Suddenly there was footsteps behind us, two set of steps coming toward us. I saw a flash of purple and brown walk up to us before I realized who it was at Jake's house, Zander and Luke. It had been a month since Jake and Drew were outed, they were becoming more confident with their relationship and honestly couldn't care any less about what others had to say about their relationship. Zander and Luke started going over to Jake's house at least twice a week, their new found friendship was obviously kept a secret from the rest of the music club given Zander didn't want to fight them and neither did Luke. I'm happy for Drew and Jake though, they seem to enjoy Luke and Zander's company which I wouldn't have expecting from either of them.

Jake and Drew explained the recording thing to the both of them, Zander said he couldn't forgive him just yet but that they could be civil, but less than a week later they were buddy buddy again. Drew seemed to like hanging out with other queer people, or maybe he just liked Zander and Luke, but I have no idea. Whatever this new friendship was between all of us, it felt right, it felt amazingly correct, it felt like magic.