Part 74

A/N

For all the days that I've kept you waiting, I'll make it up by updating now. Thank-you for all the love and support guys, I hope you enjoy this extra long update. :) I just dropped by to publish this, now I'll be back to work, trying to cope up with studies. Take care alright? I love you all.~

-Author nim/ Tinnie ah~

Christine's POV

1 day before the flight

Tinnie ah, I'm here now. We just finished a mini interview, then we'll be holding the showcase that would last at least 2 hours. How are things there?

-Oppa

How are things here?

How can I tell him that I'm here, lying down on Jungkook's bed, all curled up with damp eye lashes?

.

.

~flashback~

I started the day, waking up in my bed when I was sure I fell asleep on Oppa's lap last night in the living room. I look to my side and found a note posted on my lampshade.

Little Princess,

Oppa left already. I couldn't wake you up. You barely had a good sleep and your sleeping face last night was so hard to wake up. You slept peacefully, so I wanted you to maintain it, even if it'll be the last time I'll see you for a while. (Don't worry, I took a photo as a remembrance. You better come back within 2 years or I'll post this in the FanCafe and I'll be asking ARMY to look for you. Keke) Anyways, you'll still call me right? Face time me some time. I'll hide from the guys. I promise.

Take good care of yourself okay? Oppa will be waiting for your return.

I love you, Tinnie ah.

-Yoongi Oppa.

P.S. I brought you to your bed, you didn't fly okay?

I smiled at the note and took it in my hands. I folded it neatly and placed it in my wallet.

"I should start packing." I told myself as I stood up from my bed and went towards my cabinet to get out the clothes that I'll be bringing with me.

.

.

I decided to visit the dorm, but Jiji eomma called to say that she sent a nurse to assist me on my first and last home therapy. Tomorrow will be my flight, and she'll be the one to take care of me once again. I'll leave tomorrow... but it's not the end. I'm leaving for a possibility of a new beginning.

After the messy puking and painful shots and needles, I got to rest for a while before I got the strength to travel my way to the boys' dorm. As soon as I got in the dorm, I was surprised. Things were actually clean, but that's until I visited their rooms.

Jin's was clean, but Hoseok's was cleaner. Now, regarding the rest... it was a mess.

I left small tokens of appreciations for each of them. All hidden somewhere, I don't know if they'll find. Hopefully, they will. And if they do, would they know it's from me? I never left a note... Besides two rooms.

I smile with tears in my eyes as I reminisced all the memories shared with all of them. With everything that's been going on, I'm really thankful that they were warm and accepting, even from the beginning when none of us knew Yoongi oppa was my brother. When all they thought I was Jungkook's friend from school, they still welcomed me with warm smiles, not knowing that our first meeting will be on the funeral of my father. They've made me strong after every trial, being there for me as if they were my own brothers as well. I only had one brother by blood, but I had 7 more by heart. (Seokjin. Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung, Jaebum and Jongin.)

미안아다,지민니... I'm sorry Jiminnie...

It's true. There are times that you've caused butterflies in my stomach, but you're important to me, and I don't want to risk losing you, when I know all too well that my heart can't be loyal to you. I don't want to abuse you. I don't want to use you. You deserve someone better than me. I'll always be thankful, and I'll always be your partner in crime. I'll miss you, Jiminie.

I left the note on his desk beside his bed before closing the door to his room.

The last room that I have not yet entered...

It's his.

-End of flashback-

I saw a dent on his wall. It must have happened when we broke up, but I don't know that for sure. I just know that he was a mess as his room was, a mess as I was, and still am.

Breaking up when you both love each other is harder than breaking up when your love has faded through time. It's heart breaking, but it's a necessity, at least on my point of view, after hearing the painful truth from Yuri. Maybe I shouldn't have heard it, maybe we could still be together... but it happened. I heard it, and so we broke up. It was meant to happen. It's our ultimate test.

Set your love free. If it never returns, it's not meant to be yours, but if it does, it's yours forever.

I'll be hoping for forever, Jungkook.

I hugged my phone close to my chest, pulling it up just to see the message I was currently viewing that had me in tears.

자기야, 보고싶었어. Jagiya, I miss you.

I took a pen from his study table and a yellow sticky note, tears falling but I still had a sad smile.

나도 보고싶었어, 자기야...I miss you too, Jagiya...

I left the note inside his drawer, placing his hanky, the hanky he first gave me when we first met in the roof top as I cry my heart out, beside the note.

I sighed deeply.

I'm leaving soon, will you be able to see this note and wait for me, Jungkook?

I hope so.

I hope for our forever.

I went out and closed his door, having a hard time letting go of the door knob.

I took a deep breath and finally was able to let go. Walking to the main door, I look back and memories of us playing around was replaying in my mind. If it was any ordinary day and they had no schedules, I had no cancer and Jungkook and I haven't broke up, most probably, Jin would be cooking and Oppa would be sleeping while Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok would be playing video games or watching anime, Namjoon would be in the studio, trying to compose songs or would be with us in the living room, earphones in his ear while I'll be on Jungkook's lap or we'd be cuddling to fight the cold weather, probably planning out on what to do for Taehyung's upcoming birthday. It's almost December after all.

It would have been perfect...

But life doesn't work like that.

Closing the door behind me, I closed my eyes.

"Thank-you guys for everything. I'll miss you all. I'll come back. Just you wait."

.

.

.

The day of the flight.

"You should take care, okay? Message me." Sungmi said, hugging me tightly.

"I will." I answered, hugging her back.

"Little noona, you have to make sure to update us, alright?" Jaebum said, after Sungmi stepped away to give us our time.

"Only if you make sure to take care of Sungmi." I said, smiling at him.

"Ofcourse." He said smiling, giving me one last hug.

Jongin didn't say a word. He was silently watching us, saying our temporary goodbyes that will last for a while... After hugging Jaebum, I looked to Jongin who had his shoulder slumped down, with his hands in his pockets, biting his lower lip, suppressing his tears.

"Jongin oppa" I said with a smile and open arms, wanting a hug from him. He walked briskly to me, crushing me in his arms.

"You better be healthy when you come back arrasso?" he said in a shaky voice.

"I will be. I promise." I assured him, hugging him back.

"Jiji eomma, take care of Christine ah okay?" Jongin said.

"Ofcourse kiddo. Your mom, Jaebum's mom and Christine's mom would curse me if I don't." She replied with a smile, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Flight 316 Seoul to LA now boarding."

"I guess it's time." I said, sighing but I just felt Jongin's grip get tighter. Jaebum and Sungmi joined in the group hug.

.

"Take care alright! We'll wait for you!"

It was Jongin's voice I heard last before I boarded the plane. Or so I thought.

"JAGIYA! CHRISTINE AH!"

I looked back, knowing whose voice that was. We've passed our boarding passes and are about to board, people kept going in, but I stayed and looked back, I couldn't see anymore. I've been pushed aside by other people until Jiyoon eomma came back and took me with her.

"What's wrong?" she asked, worried. "I thought you were right behind me!"

"I thought..." I muttered, looking down on my feet as my vision began to blur. I didn't cry saying goodbye to Jaebum, Sungmi or Jongin. But his voice were enough to shake me.

"You thought?"

"I thought I heard Jungkook."

.

.

2 months after.

"Oppa." I said through the receiver.

"Was your flight 2 months long?! Why did you only call me now!" he said, obviously mad.

"I'm sorry, Jiji eomma took my phone as soon as we got there, in preparation for the surgery. It took place a day after our arrival." I said

"Why couldn't you have called me after the surgery?!"

"I just woke up from coma yesterday oppa."

"COMA?!"

"Seems like something happened during the operation, but I didn't die. I'm alive now, still trying to get better but I'm okay. Tumor free." I smiled. He sighed and stabled himself before talking

"Well, I guess there's nothing I can do for the past months. Are you okay now?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm better, oppa." I smiled, even if he couldn't see it.

"When are you coming back?" he asked.

"Not just yet. They still have to make sure I'm a hundred percent okay before I return."

Our conversation dragged on and on, since they've been gone for a while, they're working extra hard now. Fanmeets here and there, but they're preparing for their LA visit. Oppa wanted to visit me, but I didn't tell him where I was. I told him not to worry about me and just do what he has to. I don't want him to sneak out of practice or anything. They've done so much already, but I made sure to myself I'll be here, supporting them none the less.

Through the course of our conversation, I've also heard Jungkook got in trouble for missing on their second performance for suddenly missing. He wouldn't say anything about it, but could it be? Could it possibly be really him who shouted after me before I boarded the plane? I don't know...

6 months after.

"Please eomma." I begged, wanting to go to their mini concert here in LA. They've been working with American Rappers here and from what oppa said, they'll have a mini concert as the conclusion of their reality show AHL. They'll only be having 200 ARMYs and I hope we could get in.

"One condition." She said

"What?"

"I'll go with you." She smiled and I nodded, getting dressed as soon as she gave me an o-kay wink.

.

"199- Christine?!" Miji eonni was part of the staff taking care of Bangtan during their LA experience, and she recognized me as soon as she saw me.

"Shh. Don't let them know I'm here." I smiled, placing my index finger on my lips, asking for her to keep a secret for me. She nodded but asked for a hug in return. We came in and it was just a small venue, but a lot of ARMYs came. There are about a few hundred more outside the venue who didn't make it into the list.

After about an hour of waiting, the crowd went wild when their concept trailer played. Things got crazier when the lights finally turned on and there they were, ready to perform. The audio was a mess at first, playing bullet proof part 2, and stopping mid-way. We sang for them, but the staff made them do it once more because it'll be on their show so they had a second retake. The boys worked hard and all the fans enjoyed their performance for the second time. I clapped and cheered for them, but I hid in the back whenever any member would look my way.

They loved their fans, smiling at them whenever they'd wave and scream for them. I thought Jungkook saw me, a hint of recognition in his eyes, but he shook it off. He was working, he had to be professional. I caught a few member's eyes but I kept hiding. Although it was no use, the venue was small and I'm sure most of them if not all saw me at one point of the Show and Prove concert. They didn't look for me... well not that I know off because as soon as their encore stage finished, I went home, feeling weak and tired.

"We have to get your resistance up again. It's not enough if you get weak easily, we can't let you go back yet." Jiji eomma said, tucking me in. "Here, drink this." She said, giving me another herbal drink, and I felt my stomach churn.

I stared at it for a while before looking up at her with puppy eyes.

"Drink it or we'll have to inject it in you."

"Ugh. Fine. I'll drink it." I gave up, sitting up on my bed and getting the glass of green liquid from her.

"Get well now, dear. A lot of people who cares about you are waiting for you."

Are they waiting for me?

Jungkook... are you still waiting for me?

.

.

2 years later.

No one is at their dorm. Perfect for a surprise.

"Hyung! We should do this more often!" Jimin's voice can be heard from outside the door. Their laughter was heard as the door opened. I was in the kitchen preparing some food when they entered the room, so they saw me in an apron with mittens on my hands as I place down a freshly cooked dinner pot on the table.

"Welcome home. Are you guys hungry?" I asked and they just stared at me for more than a second, trying to register if what they were seeing was real.

Jimin went forward and touched my cheek while the others were still at the back, still unmoving.

"It's really you..." Jimin whispered.

"How are you, Jiminie?" I asked with a smile, but all he did was to crush me in his hug.

"You came back."

"All healthy and cancer free." I announced and that's when they got noisy, running for us, enclosing us in one tight group hug.

.

.

"HYUNG!" Oppa came in the door with Miji eonni and they just smiled when they saw me. "Christine's back!" Jimin said excitedly.

"I know." He chuckled and everyone's face was priceless.

"YAH. YOU DIDN'T TELL US?!" Jin shouted.

The group came forward and gave him a lovely beating, while Miji eonni escaped and gave me a hug.

"It's good to have you back." Miji eonni whispered

"It's good to be back." I smiled at her.

After eating around the living room, everyone was chatting with one another, sharing occurrences that happened while we weren't together. Seems that Jimin and Hannah got back together a year after I left. They were able to travel around the world, performing in different places, experiencing a lot with international fans. I told them about their show and prove concert and how I was there and they all bombarded me with "I KNEW IT. IT WAS YOU THAT I SAW" but I just laughed it off.

An hour later, the door opened and Jungkook came in.

My heart started pounding as everyone went quiet.

"I'm home." He said at the crowd, still not seeing me.

"Welcome home." I said.

His head shot up to my direction, surprised as he looked at me with wide eyes.

"Oppa, what's wrong?" a female voice asked and after stepping from behind him, my heart broke into pieces, seeing Yuri take the place beside him, holding his hand.

You didn't wait.

"C-c.Christine ssi." Yuri saw me and I just bowed slightly at her.

"Annyeong."

"What are you two doing, standing over there? Come here. Christine cooked dinner. Want some?" Namjoon asked, offering food but they said no as they ate dinner already, together.

Yuri couldn't bear Jungkook being quiet. We were all sitting together, talking like as if nothing happened, but it was clear that I was not looking or talking to Jungkook and Jungkook was doing the same.

"By the way, Jungkook and I have something to say." Yuri started and Jungkook looked like he just gotten his senses back.

"Really? What is it?" Hoseok asked, trying to be enthusiastic as the tension in the room was killing him.

"Come on oppa. Tell them." Yuri smiled, tugging on his arm.

"Uh well, because of circumstances, we've decided to-"

"What is this? Oppa you make it sound so unromantic." Yuri rolled her eyes and just sighed. "Never mind. I'll say it." She said, standing up, pulling Jungkook with her as she linked her arms around his. She showed her hand with a silver ring on her finger.

"We're getting married." She smiled giddily, but everyone was dead silent.

No one bothered to try to be enthusiastic now as they stared at the couple with a slightly hanging-open mouth and wide eyes that was looking at them then me then back at them.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked down. I tried to condition myself, taking small deep breaths. You can't break down. You've been gone for 2 years. It was bound to happen that Jungkook could find someone, but marriage was something I couldn't have prepared myself for.

Yuri's ring tone broke the silence and the awkward staring, saying something like she had to go home now. She went ahead, without Jungkook even walking her out and now awkwardness, silence and anxiety filled the living room.

"Are you okay?" Jimin whispered beside me, squeezing my small hands.

"Yeah." I managed to utter, holding onto his.

"Well, this is... I don't know." Namjoon was out of words as I was. The members were surprised as I was. We were all not expecting this from him, but Jungkook remained silent, looking down with his hands clasped together.

"Hyung, can Christine and I talk for a while? Alone?" Jungkook asked. No one knew who he was actually talking to, but all of them stood up quietly, leaving the two of us alone as they also left the dorm to give us the privacy we need.

"Congratulation on the wedding." I said trying to smile.

"Cut the crap, Tin." He said coldly, making me loose the broken smile I had.

"Since when did you come back?" he asked, not looking at me.

"Just a while ago."

"Why..." he said, as if he was having a hard time to talk.

I didn't utter anything, waiting for him to continue what he had to say.

"Why would you leave me like that?" he now asked, looking at me with red, tired eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"You could have just told me to stop. If you want me to stop missing you, then you should have just told me!" he know shouted in tears. "I've waited for your reply... to the point where I missed our second show just to hear your reply, running over to the airport. The reply you never gave me. You left me hanging. Do you know how lost I felt? Do you know how much I suffered after you left me with nothing?!" he asked, stabbing my heart.

You didn't see.

"I left you a reply." I said looking at him with tear stained cheeks too. I smiled at him sadly.

"I left you a reply, but you didn't see it..."

"No. You didn't leave a reply." He protested but I just shook my head.

"If you know me well enough, you would know that I'd never leave you hanging like that." I told him and he was taken aback. He looked at me, his eyes once filled with anger is now replaced with eyes filled with confusion.

"But you didn't... I didn't get any reply from you... You left me hanging..." he muttered to himself, trying to breathe as he was steadying himself, trying to piece everything.

"Did you look for my reply?" I asked him. He just looked at me, lost and confused.

"Before I left, I visited the dorm. Leaving everyone a goodbye gift, a thank-you gift. Everyone found theirs and even showed it to me just awhile ago. They knew me. I'm not the type to leave so suddenly without saying goodbye. How can you not know me, Jungkookie?" I asked

Hearing his name being called the way I used to, made him break down in tears as he covered his face.

"No... No..." he muttered under his breath.

"I'd never leave you hanging like that, Jungkook. I'm sorry if my reply didn't get through after all these years, but I never left you with nothing. It wasn't easy doing what I had to. I also suffered a lot. The only difference is, you have someone to help you through. You had the boys, and you have Yuri to give you the love you deserve. I only had Jiji eomma, because I had to leave everyone else too. I could have had it the easy way, taking you with me, but you'd be in pain and so will your group, your career, your dream. Someone had to do the sacrifice Jungkook, and I made it. For you."

I stopped mid-way, trying to stop my tears as well. I blink a few times before I continued what I had to say.

"I never wanted to leave you, you should know that, but I'm sincerely happy for you. Have a happy life with your bride-to-be. Live happily okay?" I asked, sitting beside him as I placed and arm around him.

"Thank-you for everything, Jungkook. Thank-you for the wonderful memories." I said, hugging him as he still covers his face with his hands, his shoulders moving up and down as he tries to catch some air for his lungs.

"Goodbye Jagiya." I said, letting go as I stood up.

Goodbye to the Jungkook who was once my lover.

"I'll see you around, Jungkook ah." I said

I will only be the friend to call you Jungkook ah, never Jagiya. Not anymore...

I was about to leave but he took my hand and held it tight.

"Don't go." He muttered shakily.

I closed my eyes, my heart stabbing as tears fall from my eyes.

I didn't want to let go... but I have to.

"It's too late..." I whispered, trying to pry his hand off of me. He had his grip hard on my hand, but I had to let it go.

.

.

I walked to the door as soon as I got his hands off, closing it behind me, holding onto the doorknob tightly.

I cried in the silent hall, accepting the fact that it's done.

He's getting married.

It's really over.

I never left you with nothing.

I gave you a reply.

I thought you didn't wait...

But I guess it's because you didn't see.

And now... I guess, it's all...

It's all too late.

Set your love free. If it never returns, it's not meant to be yours, but if it does, it's yours forever.

I guess it just...

Wasn't meant to be.

Thank-you for the sweet dream, Jungkook.

Thank-you for the memories.

But it's time to wake up now.