II

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Standing in front of the mirror, reflection of me stared back at me the way I stare at it, no emotion crossing my features yet a lot of thoughts run through my head. And a lot hold my long, honey brown hair that once used to be more of blonde. And as the years of me growing passed, my hair darkened and grew long past mid back.

I didn't really cut them in years, only max 2 inches when the ends were dead and destroyed. This time I decided I need to let go of the past, all the great and cruel things that had happened and some that haunt me until today is what I must let go of. Because these locks experienced and seen everything. 

Curse left my lips when I caught my hand shaking as I reached for the scissors resting on the sink, waiting for me to put them to use. And so I did, long locks falling either on the ground or in the sink with memories flashing through my eyes, like movie. 

The amazing and hard times with my uncle, being raped and then losing the child, the disaster on Isla Nublar from both Jurassic Park and Jurassic World, losing Inza, parting with Rexy, Lockwood Manor, I'm letting it go. It's been weight on my shoulders for my whole life, and I want to be free. I believe this will help, even though my inner voice whispers to me it's useless, that no matter what I do, I won't get better. It must.

With still slightly wet hair and fully clothed I walk into my room, grab a box I had hidden under my bed for this occasion and began throwing in everything that remind me of stuff that bother me. Frames with pictures, uncle's old shirt, old photo album and other stuff. 

But when I looked around the room in search for anything else I need to get rid of and spotted myself in the mirror with the raptor tooth hanging around my neck, I hesitated. There wasn't a time I put it down, sometimes even forgeting it was there. Until today I'm surprised I didn't lose it. 

Each time I wanted to put it away and forget, I felt like I'm betraying my uncle, breaking my promise I gave him when I was a kid. Yet now I realize, screw it. He left me, forgetting about me and everything we did together and I will do the same. I have to.

My hand forcefully torred the necklace from my neck and slammed it into the box. 

Annoyed sigh left me when I couldn't find the tape. When I did, I snatched it and wrapped it around the box with so furious speed I didn't even realize it, until I breathed in and out with the work done. Now all I need is to get rid of it, however, I can't bring myself to throw it away between trash. It's this feeling when you want something to do but you just can't do it, so I used my other option and hid it up in attic. 

By the time I done everything I needed, it turned dark, everyone sitting outside around the fire and talking about God knows what. Even Izy is there, waiting for me to come out and join them. 

When we moved here and finished the cabin, we were surprised how good Izy adapted to everything and all, despite how humans threated him. He was comfortable with me most of the times, nonetheless he got used to others and now it's okay to leave him with them without worrying he will bite someone's head off. I couldn't be more proud of him. 

Quick shiver ran down my spine as soon as I stepped into the cold night only in bigger t-shirt and sweatpants, yet I payed it no mind, my body getting used to it in speed of light. In one hand I clutched big piece of meat while in other I held bucket of grilled chicken wings. My boots creaked in the snow, catching their attention.

"Wow. Would you look at that? She finally decided to do something with herself." My best friend over 30 years now commented with hint of sarcasm, and so I shoot him sarcastic smile.

"It looks good on you." If I remember correctly, Maisie never saw me with short hair, when we don't count the photos. Shaking my head with smile, my dry hair reaching the line of my chin shook along. 

"Thanks."

"Yeah. In my opinion, you look more beautiful with short hair." Claire nodded. Even though it's compliment, I couldn't help but joke around. Mouth agape, my hand landed on my chest with faked hurt.

"You mean to tell me I was ugly all this time? How rude of you, Claire." Years back she wouldn't understand and began apologizing, but being with me so long she learned I'm full of jokes and shook her head with amused smile.

"Shut up. You know I didn't mean it like that." I smirked back. Izy lifted his head at the smell of meat and hearing my presence, him being so big easily making us eye-level and giving me no problem to throw the piece of meat into his large mouth. Which reminds me I should brush his teeth before he gets another bad tooth. Owen no longer willing to pull it out and risk his fingers getting bitten off. 

"Of course I know." Like usually at these types of night I settle myself by Izy and lean against his side, the heat of his body warming me about something more than my body already is. Green eyes of mine look around my little family once silence fall upon us again and I notice Claire giving Owen hint to talk to Maisie, most probably about her going to town again. 

"Listen. We should probably talk about you going into town." He began, at which Maisie stopped chopping off on the stick with her knife similar to Owen's. 

"I don't think you understand how bad it is being trapped here." Both Owen and Claire can't understand the feeling Maisie does, not even I can compare myself to her but what I do know is what it feels like to be prevented from something you want. 

It reminds me of years back when I wanted to go working on the Jurassic World so I can figure myself out and Alan refused to let me go, in fear of losing me to the dinosaurs. I understand all he wanted is to protect me, but I can't do anything about it now. What happened, happened, and there's no going back. 

"You're not trapped here. We just don't trust people." Owen tried to reason with her, Claire sitting quietly on his right.

"No, you just don't trust me. And then you expect me to trust you. Why can't I have any freedom?" If it were a good time, I'd hug the young girl. Unlike other children, she's got it hard. 

"Because you can't." We all froze at Owen's words, even Izy, who was munching on his own food and minding his own business. Maisie got up and stormed past us into the house, leaving the air filled with awkward tension. 

"Well, that went great." My best friend sighed, shoulders slumping. That's not how he imagined it to go. He fiddled with the knife in his hand before feeling my gaze burning into him.

"What?"

"Are you fucking kidding me, Owen?! You can't say that to her. You are not the boss of her." It's not often I argue with him about something serious, but when we do then it either doesn't end well or one of us walk away. 

"I'm trying to protect her, Jay." I took one deep breath to cool down and gulp all the dirty words I'd want to throw at him.

"Look, I understand you're worried about her and need to keep her safe, I do too." Both the older adults watch me silently. "But I also understand Maisie. She's suffocating. Keeping her here against her will isn't right. She feels more like at prison than home."

"We can't just let her go wherever she wants. We would never see her again." My jaw tighten, knowing he's right and yet needing to find words to continue. Izy shifted his head to rest in my lap and I stroke his head, feeling him purring in satisfaction. 

It's not only Maisie I want to protect, but also Izy. There are people looking for him as well and I'm so not handing over my baby. Although, there's this difference between him and Maisie and that's Maisie is human and he's a dinosaur, hybrid not to say. Maisie's got more of chance than him. 

"When I wanted to go work at the Jurassic World, my uncle wouldn't let me. Even though I knew what danger awaits me and all Alan wanted was to protect me, I needed to figure myself out and I just went. And Maisie will do the same." I looked up from Izy at the two. 

"She's growing up and the more she's kept here, the more questions she has. And we can't answer them. Answers are out there. She will do anything to get them. One way or another." They didn't say anything after and I don't expect them to. We all struggle to find a way that will both keep Maisie safe and let her have what she so desperately want. 

~🦖~

"I'm not asking for your permission, uncle. I have decided and no one's gonna stop me. Not even you. You are not my father. ....I have to go." 

"Fine. Fine! Do whatever you want! I don't care. But if you really go back at the island, don't even try to contact me. You hear me?! Ever!"

"Auntie Jane. Auntie Jane!" I'm jerked awake by hand shaking my shoulder, a little harsher to even snap me out of the memory I dreamt about. Chest rising up and down, my green orbs lock with Maisie's dark ones, the night giving them pitch black shade. 

"Huh?" 

"You fell asleep outside. Again." Eyebrows knitted together in confusion, I scan our surrounding and sure enough I'm still by the campfire, leaning into Izy's side, who's very much awake and watching me with Maisie. 

"Oh." Breathing out, I use my arms to push myself into sitting position and unstick my back from Izy so he can move, but he stayed in place. 

"Why aren't you in bed? It's late." I ask when I see lights turned off in the house, where are most probably Owen and Claire already asleep in their shared bedroom and so I can only guess how much time passed.

"I couldn't sleep. Then I noticed you still outside and went to check up on you." It makes smile settle upon my lips and I scoot aside to make a room for her and pat the spot beside me, which she takes. 

"How come you are so sweet to me but bitter to Owen and Claire?" It's rhetorical question, hence I already know why, only if she herself is aware of it. 

"Maybe because you are the only one that understand me." She shrug, grabbing her knife and stick she left here from before and continuing with chopping the tip. 

"At one point, I do. And Claire with Owen understand too, even though it doesn't look like that." If it weren't for the fire across from us giving us light, I'd miss the scowl on her features. 

"If they did, they wouldn't prison me here. Claire isn't my mother and Owen isn't my father, they can't tell me what to do." It's good thing none of the two are here right now because they would be so hurt hearing this. 

"I mean, they adopted you so they basically can." She shoot me glare, at which snicker escaped me without me wanting. 

"Look, they may not be your biological parents, but that doesn't mean you should say things like that, especially when they care about you as their own. All they wanna do is protect you." She stops chopping, staring into the fire. It is clear to all of us Maisie struggle to show her love to Claire and Owen and can get really annoyed when one of them is too overprotective. 

"What would you know." And she gets back to her chopping. I don't show how much this sentence irritated me, because I do know a lot. 

"Before I left to work at the park, I had a little argument with my uncle." It grabs her attention and she switch her gaze to me. "I told him he isn't my father, that he can't control me and make decisions for me. Until today I regret saying all these things back then. The worst part is, I never had the chance to apologize to him, tell him how sorry I'm, that I didn't mean any of that. Mostly I'm angry with myself for not telling him he's more of father to me than anyone else ever was." 

Tears fill at the corners of my eyes and I have to blink them away to look unbothered by it. Much to me wanting to forget it all. 

Maisie only stare at me, with sympathy if I read from her face correctly and for sure the wheels in her head are spinning, processing what I'm telling her and why.

"My point is, think before you say something. You may regret it later on."  

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Hey, guys! Sorry for not posting yesterday, I fell asleep doing homework.