Chapter 71

Melvin

I drove around in Esined's car late at night. I drove as if I was takin' da way she'd take home from our house. I noticed a car behind me and my phone vibrated.

Unknown: Going somewhere? I see you. 12:50 am

I was tempted ta text back and say I see you too, but I had ta be smart. I ignored my itch ta send back a smart reply and continued drivin'.

I had on an all black outfit and my hood was up. I wanted ta make whoever the person was think dat I was Esined.

Puttin' my foot on the gas, I sped up and the car behind me did too.

I was tempted ta switch the car in reverse and chase them down, but I resisted.

I drove for a lil longa and da car was still followin' me.

I glanced through the rear view mirror and the driver had on a hoodie, but I could see long hair. I couldn't make out much details, but I knew it was a female and she was brown skin.

I pulled up ta a packed gas station, quickly easing my way through the otha cars.

She lost me and I was gone.

I made it home safely and I parked Esined's car in the garage. Although I knew the girl didn't come through the gates behind me, I still checked my surroundings. I went into the house from the back door and August was in the kitchen.

He roamed the fridge.

"Aye," I said, causin' him ta jump and hit his head.

"Ow," he mumbled, standin' up straight. "You got anything?"

"Well, it's a girl. She has long hair or weave and she's brown skin. She drives a black two thousand-five sedan. You know any girls wit dat car?"

"Nah. I'on think so," he shook his head. "You'on think dis gotta do wit them people from last year at dat party, do you?"

"We ain't heard about them in a while, but we should keep our guards up. You can neva be too sure,"

"Right," he said.

I removed my hood and he looked at me. "Wassup witchu? You seem off,"

"Well, I quit therapy today,"

"Why?"

"I don't think it's helpin' me,"

"Is it not helpin' you or are you just rejectin' da help?"

He looked down, twistin' da cap on his water bottle.

"Well? I'm not talkin' just ta hear myself,"

"Fa'get I said anything," he mumbled.

"Nah. We gon' talk about dis, fa real. Come on," I said.

We went ta the dinin' room and sat down.

I know it seems like I'm harsh on him about goin' ta therapy and it's because I am. I know my brotha's mental health state and he needs ta get help.

My phone vibrated and I looked at it.

Unknown: Damn, I lost you. Maybe I'll keep up tomorrow. 1:20 am

"Why you don't think it's helpin' you?" I asked him.

"They treated me like a child in dat centa. They wasn't tryna understand me or nothin',"

"Well, you kinda throw tantrums like a child, Aug. What do you expect people ta treat you like?"

"I don't throw no tantrums," he became defensive.

"Who you tryna convince? Me or yourself?"

"Dis why I don't talk ta you about shit no mo',"

"I coulda sworn you stopped tellin' me stuff because you ain't like dat I helped Esined try ta understand her boyfriend,"

He sucked his teeth. "There's a difference between helpin' her understand and straight up tellin' her all my business,"

I became annoyed. "Tell me the difference, because I don't think you understand the differences between them. I ain't tell her none of yo business,"

"I know the difference," he said. "And yes, you did,"

"You don't. And even if I did tell her, what's the problem? Is she not your girlfriend? Why you gotta hide shit from her? She be tryna show you dat she is what you said you wanted. You just be pushin' her away,"

"Maybe I wasn't ready ta tell her certain stuff," He smacked his lips. "Bro, what is you talkin' about?"

"You know what I'm talkin' about. You be actin' like you'on want or need her one minute, then the next minute, you be actin' like a big ass baby when she shows dat she can live without you. You childish as fuck,"

Shakin' his head, he stood up. "I'm done,"

"It look like I'm done talkin' ta you?" I asked.

"I really don't care about what you have ta say,"

"Dis is exactly what I mean. You complainin' about them treatin' you like a child and not listenin' ta you, but you act like a child and you neva wanna listen when you know you wrong. All I'm sayin' is act how you wanna be treated," I stood.

He huffed. "Whateva, Mel,"

"Now you pissin' me off," I chuckled.

"Okay? You pissin' me off too. I guess we even,"

"You always wanna get even, huh? I thought you'd learn not ta try ta get even no mo' since dat almost ended to relationship wit Esined,"

"All da shade you throwin' is hella unnecessary. I ain't takin' no jabs at you. I could, but I'm not, so cut it,"

"I'm just tellin' it how it is. At least I'm sayin' it ta yo face and not hidin' how I feel,"

"Dis how you really feel, huh?"

"Yeah. You got a problem wit what I had ta say?"

"Yup and you can stop talkin' ta me now,"

"Aiight, you can stop wastin' Esined time now,"

"How am I wastin' her time?"

"You got in a relationship wit dat girl knowin' damn well you wasn't ready. You gettin' her hopes up and messin' wit her emotions. Y'all was cute at first, but now yo true colors showin'. Maybe y'all wouldn't be on da rocks if you'd take your meds,"

"You just gon' throw dat back in my face? Knowin' what I'm goin' through right now?" he got louder. "I'on throw back shit in yo face. I was cool wit you goin' off and havin' yo moment, but you throwin' somethin' back in my face dat I can't control? You on some otha shit!"

"Lower to tone befo' you wake everybody up," I said.

"I don't care who I wake up!" he stepped up ta me. "You on some foul shit right now, bro,"

"Calm yo self down,"

He kept on yellin' and then he pushed me.

"Chill," I grabbed his hand.

He pushed me off of him and I pushed him back.

"Calm yo ass down!"

"And if I don't? Fuck you gon' do?" he pushed me again and I pushed him back even harder.

Just when we were about ta start fightin', Mama, Travis, and Viola came downstairs.

"Stop it! What is goin' on?" Mama asked.

Travis came ova ta us, standin' in between us. He held August back.

Viola came ova and stood behind me. She gently touched my arm. "C'mon," she said, placin' her otha hand on my chest.

I shook my head at August and followed Viola ta my room.

She closed the door behind her and came ova ta me. She stood in between my legs afta I sat down. Playin' in my dreads, she leaned to look at my face. "You wanna talk about it now or later?"

"Later," I sighed, lookin' down at her stomach dat now had a small pudge. Placing my hand on her stomach, I rubbed it softly.

"Okay," she said. Liftin' my head up, she placed a kiss on my forehead. "I love you,"

"I luh you too. Gimme kiss,"

She leaned down, kissin' me. "It'll get better, babe. You and Nola clash, but you guys will be okay," she smiled. "Hear me?"

I nodded, lookin' at her glowin' skin. I looked into her eyes and gave her anotha kiss. "You should be sleep, lil mama,"

"I know, but the arguing kept me up. I'm up now,"

"I'm sorry. I'ma take a shower and when I get out, we can relax, okay?"

She nodded wit a smile. "Okay,"

"Aiight," I walked off, goin' ta my bathroom.

I started thinkin' about how some things dat I said ta August was wrong. He didn't deserve fa me ta throw his problems back at him. I could admit dat it was wrong of me ta throw them back at him.

I was heated, so I wasn't cautious of the things I was sayin'. I wasn't gonna apologize now, but I would consider doin' it lata.

Sadly, August and I couldn't be as stubborn as we wanted to. We had ta deal wit our personal issues separately and work on protectin' Esined. Dat was one of my main concerns. I wasn't gonna let her get hurt because of miscommunication wit August.

She is like a lil sister ta me and I promised Eiram that I'd take care of her.

Esined

I was asleep and there was a knock on my door, waking me up. I rubbed my eyes, sitting up.

"Essy," I heard my mama whisper.

"Yes?"

"We need to talk,"

"Mama, can it wait until the morning or after school? I'm tired,"

"You don't have to go to school tomorrow if you don't want to,"

"Okay. What's up?"

"Things are getting out of hand and I need to tell you a lot of things before it gets worse," she said.

"Mama, what's going on?"

"I have a lot of things to tell you and I just don't know how to. It's hard to tell you because I know you're gonna be so mad at me," she sniffed.

"I'll try my best to understand,"

She sighed. "Your Uncle is not the man that you think he is, Es. He's not. He lies to you. I had to tell you this because I found out that you were giving him money,"

"What'd he lie about?"

"A lot, baby. And I won't act innocent because I've lied too," She took a deep breath and let it go. "You know how things seem weird between Don and I?"

"Yeah,"

"Well, we had a bit of history. Don became obsessed with me, so I let him go. He hated that I married Eric instead of him. You were around five when I cheated on Eric with Don. I had got pregnant and I had Erica-"

"Wait a minute," I said. "Eric isn't Erica's dad?"

"No," she mumbled. "She is Don's daughter,"

"Wow... Wow. Does Eric know?"

"He had his thoughts since she came out brown skin and you were lighter," she said. "He didn't claim her for a long time,"

"This is a lot,"

"There's a lot more too,"

"I'm listening,"

"So, here's where it gets a little confusing and you start to hate me... Remember when you took Erica to the pool?"

"I could never forget,"

"I know who took her,"

"What? Why didn't you say anything when the cops asked?"

"I couldn't,"

"So, you just let whoever had her keep her? If you would have said something, she could still be alive,"

"She is," she said.

"Don't play with me right now,"

"Erica isn't dead. She's alive, healthy, smart, and very beautiful. I'm so sorry I haven't told you sooner, Esined. Don wouldn't let me an-"

"Stop,"

She stayed quiet.

"My little sister is somewhere alive and y'all hid it from me for years? You sat there and watched me blame myself for years. Mama, you know how I feel about that situation. I got my ass beat for taking her to the pool that day and you just stayed silent. You let Eric put his hands on me and yell at me because he thought I got her killed. He blamed me and hated me for it," I said with tears coming down my cheeks.

"Es, baby girl, let me explain-"

"How could you do that to me? How could you allow that to happen?" I sniffed, wiping my tears. "I had nightmares about them finding her body in the woods. I have situations in my childhood that I can't recover from because everyone in this stupid ass family wants to lie and have secrets!" I snapped, standing up. I walked over to my door and flicked on the light.

She bit at her nails and a tear fell down her cheek. "I'm sorry,"

"An apology won't fix my problems! It won't!"

I searched through my closet, grabbing my suitcase. I grabbed my clothes and began to put them in there.

She continued crying.

"You aren't even who I thought you were. I expected that out of all people, you'd never lie to me and always protect me. You put me in harms way," I sniffed.

"I didn't mean for things to turn out like this,"

"I don't care about how you meant for things to turn out,"

Mama didn't speak because she knew she was wrong. I yelled and she didn't yell back or anything.

"Is there a scandal between you and Brandon too? Was he really even a teacher? Is he real or is he apart of all of y'all lies too?"

"He's real. My relationship with Brandon is real. He's been so true to you. He really loves you,"

"Then why did you let him leave? Why did you accuse him of being too close?"

"I was scared, Esined. After having horrible men in my life, it's hard to trust a good one when you find one,"

"Well, he's not a creep. Brandon is a great guy and he's never tried to hurt me. I think you're jealous of him,"

"Why would I be jealous of my boyfriend?"

"Just because he's your boyfriend, it doesn't mean that you can't be jealous of him. You're jealous of the bond that we have and it's obvious. You hate that I talk to Brandon more than I talk to you,"

"I don't hate that. I love that you two can talk and get along. Not everyone can get along with their mamas boyfriend,"

"Stop lying to me," I flipped my hair back and grabbed other needs for my suitcase.

"Where are you going? Esined, you can't leave,"

"Who's stopping me? Why can't I leave?"

"Just don't go, okay? I can fix things, just please don't leave,"

"I can't stay here right now. I don't like living in a house with people I can't trust," I grabbed my phone and dialed Brandon's number. I sniffed, wiping my tears as it rang.

"Esined, it's three in the morning," his sleepy voice said.

"I know and I'm sorry. Where are you?"

"I'm at my parents house. Why are you crying?"

"I'll tell you later. You think I could come over and stay for a little while?"

"Yeah. They'll understand and you know you're always welcomed,"

"Thank you. I'll be over in a little,"

"Okay," he mumbled before yawning. "Drive safe, I'll see you in a few,"

"I will. Bye," I hung up.

Looking up, I saw my mama sitting on my bed.

"Where's Erica?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Don only lets me see her in public,"

"Why?"

"He thinks I'm gonna kidnap her,"

"Would you?" I looked at her.

She sniffed and nodded her head. "I want her back so bad,"

"Me too. At least you got to see her over the years. At least no one lied to you and told you that she was dead," I zipped my suitcase.

Shocked at the shade I threw, she sat quietly and didn't know what to say.

"Where are you going?" she asked quietly.

I pulled a black hoodie over my head and put my arms through. "Who's body was it that was found in the woods if it wasn't Erica's?" I asked, ignoring her question.

"I don't know," she sighed. "Essy, where are you going?"

"I'm going somewhere where you and Don won't be," I said. "I wanna see a picture of Erica. Until I see one, everything you just told me is a lie,"

She left my room and shortly came back with three pictures.

I looked at the small girl who resembled Mama and Don.

She stood next to our mama, smiling with a backpack on. They stood in front of a gate and you could tell that they were on school grounds.

Erica's smile was wide and her braces showed. She looked how she did in my dream, but clearly younger. Her hair was in two long French braids. Her eyes were green like Grandpas and they complimented her brown skin.

I smiled briefly, tearing up at the pictures of her. I looked at them, flipping back and forth between the three pictures that she handed me.

Touching a photo with my fingers, I imagined that I was with her and she knew me.

I cleared my throat. "Does she remember me?" I asked.

"Yes,"

"Has she ever asked about me?"

Mama nodded. "All the time,"

Getting over the moment, I handed the pictures back to her.

"Keep them," she said.

I took them back, tucking them in the pocket of my hoodie. I picked up my bag and left the room quietly.

Mama didn't put up a fight. She let me leave and I was glad that she let me go.

I left the house and went to the garage. I got into Mel's car and sighed as I got ready to drive. I said a quick prayer before starting the car. I put on my seatbelt and backed out.

I drove down the street and made my way to the freeway. I drove the twenty minutes that it took to get to Brandon's parents' house. Once I pulled up, I told him that I was here and he let me in.

We decided that we'd talk about it later since he had to work in a few hours.

I was in a guest room, sitting on the bed. I couldn't sleep because my thoughts were too active. I daydreamed of meeting Erica. I looked at the picture of her again. I rested my head against a pillow after lying down.

I was humming and eventually began to sing. I sang my comforting son to myself.

Someday I know he's coming to call meHe's going to handle me and hold meSo, it' going to be like dying, PorgyWhen he calls meBut when he comes I know I'll have to go

-Hi. How are y'all doing?

Thoughts on what Mel said to August?

Yes, August has bpd & that's what he takes meds for.

I wonder why Eiram randomly decided to tell Esined that. Hm...

I'm not gonna say this again. There will be a sequel (second book). I've said this like 5 times :/ lmao

Also, I no longer look at my messages in my inbox.

Any questions?

Anyway. Excuse typos please.

Comments & Votes are appreciated.

Much love, Shia. Xoxo