Chapter 56

11 am, Esined

I sat on August lap as he laid down. He had his arm over his forehead.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

He shrugged a little.

I leaned down, pecking his lips.

He kissed me back and I smiled.

"You look so cute right now,"

"Do I?"

"Yeah,"

"Even all beat up?"

"You don't look that bad, Snugga. They just got you good in the eye. Stupid jerks," I mumbled.

"I love when you get mad. It's funny. Especially earlier. Yo proper, country ass. Who are we pulling up on?" August laughed after mimicking my voice.

"Well, I was upset," I folded my arms.

"You tryna ride fa yo man, huh?"

"Duh. I was ready to pull up on some folks,"

He chuckled, licking his lips. "You so cute. Tryna act tough knowin' you a lil cry baby,"

"I'm a part time cry baby, get it right. I can't be crying all over the Anastasia Beverly Hills they put me in at work," I laughed.

"Da hell is Anastasia Bev'leh Hills?"

"Oh my goodness," I sighed. "Makeup,"

"I'm a nigga, you expected me ta know dat?"

"You know what Mac is,"

"Because every girl talk about it,"

"Hmm... You right, fam,"

"Stop callin' me dat," he laughed. "You around yo stepdad too much,"

"He's not my stepdad,"

"Yeah, sure," he chuckled. "Speakin' of parents, why yo mama gettin' so overly protective now?"

I didn't even know how to explain what was going on with her. "I don't know... I walked into her room the other day without knocking because I thought she was gone. She was on the bed messing around with a gun,"

"Dat don't sound like somethin' she'd be doin'," he said.

"Right? Then she looked at me and put it away. She tried to have a conversation with me like I didn't just see her with it,"

"Wow... I can't even imagine her touchin' a gun," August said.

"Me neither. When I asked her why she had it, she said for protection,"

"Protection from who?"

"She wouldn't tell me, but I have an idea. All she said was that she couldn't keep bringing pepper spray to a knife or a gun fight,"

"What in the hell is goin' on wit her?"

"I don't know, but you know how I am. I went into my English teacher mode. I started playing connect the clues,"

August began to laugh. "Alright, baybeh. Connect da clues fa me,"

"This is gonna get really personal really fast and you can't tell anyone, I mean no one at all. I'm only tell you this because you're my boyfriend and I trust you with most of my secrets,"

"Okay. I'm not gon' tell nobody. I promise,"

We locked pinkies and I got off his lap.

"We need to go somewhere more private,"

He sighed, getting up. He followed me to his room and I closed the door then locked it.

We sat on the bed.

"You ready?" I asked.

"Mhm," August said.

"So, my mama has been through a lot of things and some of those you know about. When I was younger, you know I how it was for me. I wasn't the wealthiest and we had to get the bills paid somehow,"

He nodded, letting me know that he was still listening.

"Eric used to force my mama to do stuff she didn't want to do so we could get money, if you know what I mean,"

He made a confused face before he caught on. "It involved otha men?"

I nodded. "I never talk about this with anyone because it makes me emotional, but um... She was doing things with this one guy. My mama and Eric called him Boss. Sometimes he'd come over when Eric was gone and he'd force my mama to have sex with him. If she didn't, he'd threaten to come into my room instead or make us homeless. On-"

"Has he eva went into yo room?"

I looked down. "Um," I bit on my lip.

"Never mind. Don't answer dat,"

"Twice. It's not that he came into my room because she wouldn't do it though,"

"Then why would he go into yo room?"

"He wanted me to join," I mumbled.

"Sick ass," August shook his head. "Continue,"

"One day, my mama caught him coming into my room and he was touching me. She jumped on his back and started punching him. He threw her to the wall and he took out a knife. She took out pepper spray and sprayed him in his eye. He can't see out of that eye now because he didn't get immediate care..."

"He deserved it,"

"Right, but so that made me think like, is he back around and she's scared? Because she called the cops on him that day and he did years in jail,"

"Wow. I'm sorry dat happened ta y'all. Dats some scary shit,"

"I also tried to connect it to Eric too. I thought about how he tried to kill us last year. He had a knife and she had pepper spray,"

"This is some crazy stuff happenin'. You think she tryna get revenge or somethin'?"

"I'm not sure. She's been acting strange around Uncle Don too. I haven't heard any story about him and her fighting before,""

August got quiet.

"You always do that,"

"Do what?"

"Get quiet when I mention my uncle. Did he make you that nervous yesterday?"

"Yeah,"

"Awe, don't be nervous. He's a sweetheart once you get through his tough shell," I laughed a little.

"I bet it takes a shell or two ta get through ta him," he mumbled.

"Oh, stop it. He's not that bad. I think you guys should get to know each other. He was like a dad to me and I'd love if you both got along. He'll drop the tough guy act soon when he comes around more. He just wants to make you nervous,"

August didn't respond, he just nodded.

I picked up on how he was acting and looked at him. "You alright?"

"Yeah. You good?"

"Mhm. Are you still busy today?"

"Nah. Mel told me ta sit dis drop out,"

"He's going alone?"

"Yeah,"

"Aren't you scared after what happened?"

"Nah. He's goin' ta a friends. I ain't gotta be wit him,"

"Oh okay," I mumbled, looking at his face.

"You eva just think about think about yo own life and feel like.. I'on know..."

"Sad?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Sometimes. Why'd you ask that?"

"I'm just curious... You seem too happy fa things ta be the way they are,"

"What are you trying to say?"

"I don't mean ta offend you or nothin'. I'm just sayin' like you been through a lot and I'm proud dat you're still pushin'. I ain't tryna bring it up, but a lot of people can't handle what you're handlin', you know what I'm sayin'?"

I nodded. "I understand,"

"You're a tough girl, like fa real,"

"Not as tough as you think,"

"Whatchu mean?"

"Everyone has a breaking point or a few,"

"When's the last time you had one?"

I thought back. "A few years ago,"

Truthfully, I was the type to bottle everything up, but I was learning to voice how I felt more.

"What happened?"

"I'd rather not,"

"My bad,"

"No, it's not you or anything. Just really personal. Something I don't want to tell anyone,"

I was going to take it to the grave if I could. I would never want to tell anyone about my attempt because I didn't want it to ever be used against me. It wasn't that I thought August would ever stoop that low, but you also never knew what could happen.

"I understand. I got things I'd neva tell anyone eitha,"

"Like what?"

"You almost got me wit dat one," he laughed.

I started laughing. "I thought I did,"

"Wait. I take back dat statement because I'd probably tell you some stuff,"

"Really?"

"Yeah,"

"Tell me something,"

"Hmm," he laid down, putting his head in my lap.

I naturally began to play with his small curls, rubbing his head.

"I've neva felt dis way about a girl befo',"

"How do you feel?" I asked quietly.

"It's cheesy," he chuckled. "I hate talkin' about my emotions,"

"Say it," I laughed.

"Aiight... I feel like my answer ta dat essay we did on love last year changed a lot,"

"You believe in love now?"

"Definitely. I feel like I finally found love,"

I smiled. "Awe, me too,"

"When I see or think about you, I be smilin', lookin' dumb as hell,"

I laughed. "I do the same thing,"

"I think I learned ta understand dat you changed, but it's a good change. You ain't lettin' nobody walk ova you or nothin'. You findin' yo voice and you're startin' ta love yourself. I have neva seen dis much growth from a person who's been through stuff like dat. Within a year, baybeh? You really showin' out," he chuckled.

"Awe, SnuggaPoo. You're gonna make me cry," I giggled.

"You are like a rose in the concrete ta me. Yes, I stole a quote from Tupac,"

I laughed. "I read that book. I loved it,"

"You know who Tupac is?"

"Duh,"

"Don't get smart mouth, Denise,"

"Don't get smart mouth, Tsugua,"

He started laughing. "How long you be practicin' dat?"

"Just a little while," I giggled. "Anyway, keep telling me how you feel about me,"

I loved when we had random moments and he'd confess his love for me. I loved when he showed how he really felt.

"I was hatin' on your growth at first. I was a lil mad when I saw dat you didn't need me at first," he admitted. "I felt like if you grew, you'd see right through me and be able ta pick up on me mo'-"

"I did," I laughed.

"Clearly. You got them instincts now. You be callin' me so randomly like babe, are you okay? I be thinkin' like why is she up," he laughed. "Be callin' me at three in the mornin',"

I laughed a little. "I'm sorry. I have nightmares and I can never go back to sleep unless I hear your voice,"

"I get like dat sometimes, but I just send you a text and go ta yo Instagram... Not wake you up three hours befo' school start,"

"I'm sorry,"

"It's aiight,"

Since I felt like we were having a real moment, I wanted to ask him something that I felt he was completely vulnerable enough to give me an answer to.

"Why don't you have a real job?" I asked, out of curiosity.

"I'll tell you why when you can give me ten reasons why selling drugs isn't a real job,"

"It's illegal," I laughed.

"There's a lot of illegal things in the world. Ta me, it's a job. It's a task and a task is a job... I mean, dats if you tryna get technical,"

"But you don't actually get a check for it. Don't you want to actually work for something and earn it?"

He looked at me. "I earn it, trust me,"

"How? You just exchange drugs for money,"

"I don't just exchange drugs fa money. You think sellin' is easy? I do a lot mo' than you think. Shit, I do a lot more than you do wit ya modelin'," he became defensive.

"How so?" I questioned back.

"The biggest point of them all, I risk my life every time I go in the streets. Niggas don't be playin' outchea. It ain't as easy as you think. Drug dealin' ain't like the movies. I risk gettin' caught and put in jail every time I'm out there,"

"Then why do you do it? You can get a real job,"

"Is dat so? You'on think dat if I could actually get one, I would?" he looked up at me. "Just out of curiosity, who you think bought dis place?"

"Your mama has a huge company, so-"

"Eh," he made a buzzer noise. "Wrong,"

"Then who?"

"Mel and I bought dis shit wit da help of my pops and Pooka. Our lil drug money did all of dis. We got shit from hustlin' how we do. We helped mama get her company,"

I sat there, dumbfounded and slightly embarrassed.

"Why you gotta judge a nigga because he took a different route?" August asked, sitting up. "I'm sorry dat I'on care ta play dress up and take pictures like you do. Whether my shit is illegal or not, money is money and I'm usin' it fa good purposes. I do it fa my family and because I have to, not because I'm bored and need something ta do," he explained.

Though his tone wasn't as harsh as it seemed, it still had me a little taken back. I felt bad for judging him.

I looked at him, frowning. "I didn't mean to upset you like this... I just wanted to know," I said softly.

"Now you know," he mumbled. "I can't get no real job and everybody always got shit ta say about it. I heard everyone the first time. August, you stupid fa gettin' dem Self Made tattoos. You ain't gon' get a good payin' job wit all dem tattoos. And they was right,"

I locked my fingers with each other and messed with them as I twisted my lips to the side. "I'm sorry,"

"Nah," he mumbled. "I'm sorry, aiight? I'm just-" he shrugged. "I'on know. I'm takin' my anger out on the wrong person,"

"I shouldn't have been speaking down on your occupation. I understand that it gets tough... I guess I just don't understand and I'm approaching it wrong,"

August stayed quiet, pulling at his chin hair. Before he could speak, his phone began to ring. He looked at it and slid across answer. "Helluh?"

The sound was muffled and I stayed silent as he spoke on the phone.

"Oh snap. Dats today?" he sat up. "I completely forgot, I'm sorry. What time?"

I looked at him.

"I'll be there. Thanks fa callin'. Mhm. Bye bye," he hung up.

"Sooo, are our plans for today canceled?" I asked.

"Nah. I got therapy,"

"Oh okay. I can probably just chill with V while you're gone,"

"Or you can come wit me, your choice,"

"Nah. I don't want to intrude on your session. That's your private time to vent things that you aren't ready to tell me," I pretended as if I didn't want to go.

"I mean, her and I are still just gettin' ta know each otha, so I ain't really tellin' her nothin' too deep yet,"

"I mean, I guess I could go. I'd like to meet her," I admitted.

Truthfully, I wanted to know a lot about her. I wanted to know who he'd be telling his problems and secrets to besides me. I wanted to know if she was good enough to vent to and if she gave great advice.

"Alright. Well, my session is in two hours and it take about thirty minutes ta get there, so I say we get ready and leave in about an hour,"

"Okay,"

August

I sat in the lobby wit Esined and messed wit her. I poked her cheek and she slapped my finger away.

"Aug stop. You're such a child," she laughed.

"You luh me doe," I grinned in her face.

"Of course," she smiled. "Now get out of my face,"

"Gimme a kiss first,"

She turned, giving me a small peck on the lips.

I smacked my lips. "You down bad fa dat baby kiss,"

She began ta laugh.

My therapist, Chelsea came out wit a smile on her face, immediately welcomin' us back into her office.

"Hello, you must be Esined," she extended her hand and Esined smiled befo' shakin' it.

"I am. Nice to meet you,"

"It's nice to meet you too. August has told me a lot about you,"

"Really?" she asked.

Chelsea nodded.

"I thought you two were just getting to know each other," she looked at me.

"We are. You know how I get when I start talkin' about you," I said as we followed Chelsea ta her office.

I could ramble on about her fa hours if somebody let me.

"Oh," was all she said.

Chelsea closed the door behind us and I pulled a chair out fa Esined. When she sat down, I took my seat next ta her.

"You okay?" I asked her quietly.

She nodded. "Thank you,"

Chelsea sat down across from us and looked at me. "You know I usually start off with asking you how are you doing and such things, but I'm switching it up today," she spoke, opening her notebook.

"Alright," I let out a nervous chuckle.

"What happened to your face?"

"Esined beat me up," I lied.

"No, I didn't," Esined quickly denied and we laughed.

"You can't be beating up my clients, girl," Chelsea laughed lightly before going back into her professional mode. "What happened, August?"

"Nothin' really. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Three guys walked up on me and yeah... Dats about it,"

"Did you go to the hospital or anything after it happened?"

"Nah. My girl took care of me," I said, glancin' at Esined, who was smilin'.

"That's very sweet of her," Chelsea said. "Now, Esined, how did you feel when you saw his face?"

"I was really upset. I wanted to hurt whoever did it," Esined said.

I started laughin' at the thought of how Esined reacted. "Who are we pulling up on?" I mimicked her voice.

"Not funny. I was upset and I still am," she laughed.

"You said that?" Chelsea asked her.

"Yes,"

"I can't even imagine it. You're so soft spoken and polite. You seem like you wouldn't hurt a fly,"

"You'd be surprised," I mumbled.

"Well, surprise me. I want to know,"

"Rememba dat ex of mine I was tellin' you about?"

She nodded and looked at her notes. "Chantelle?"

"Yup,"

"Okay. What happened?"

"So, Esined has came a long way. Like a really long way. I know how my ex is and I knew she would keep messin' wit Es until she defended herself. Esined told me dat she couldn't fight, so I believed her," I explained.

"Mhm," Chelsea put down her pen, not findin' dis necessary ta write down. "Continue,"

"No offense, baybeh," I turned ta Esined befo' I continued. "But look at my baybeh. Just last year she was still scared ta step on cracks in the sidewalk. She believed in dat whole step on a crack and break ya mama back stuff,"

Esined's mouth dropped. "No I didn't, August. Stop telling fibs,"

"Baybeh, dis my story and you a character. I ain't give you no lines yet, so shh,"

We all started laughin'.

"Anyway. Basically what I'm sayin' is dat Esined was softer than a pillow last year and now she's all tough, thanks ta me," I joked. "But nah, I did show her a few moves and how ta fight properly. She used the moves against Chantelle,"

"Why?" Chelsea asked, still not bein' able ta control her laughter.

"Because she was speakin' ill of her late sister,"

Chelsea stopped laughin'. "That's wrong on so many levels. To be honest with you, Esined, I would have done the same thing,"

"C-Dog comin' out da works," I laughed.

"No she is not," Chelsea laughed a lil.

"C-Dog?" Esined asked, laughin'.

"August decided to give my alter-ego a name,"

"They call me Denise,"

"Why?"

"Because that's my name frontwards,"

"Wait a minute,"

I began ta laugh.

"My name is Esined, but it's Denise backwards," Esined explained.

"Gotcha," Chelsea laughed. "That's very unique and pretty. I like that,"

"Thank you,"

"Guess what her mama name is," I chuckled.

"Chill on my mama, bro,"

Chelsea laughed. "Do you mind telling me her name?"

"Marie backwards," Esined laughed.

"So, is it pronounced I-Ram?"

"No. Ee-Uh-Rahm,"

"Oh wow. That's pretty too. Makes me want my name backwards," she joked.

Esined laughed lightly. "That seems like it'd be very difficult to pronounce... Aeslehc. It's like A-slay with a c at the end,"

They began ta laugh at how silly Esined sounded when she said it.

"Okay," Chelsea said as their laughing came to an end. "Now I can ask. August, how are you feeling today?"

"Good," I said.

"Honestly?"

I nodded. "I'm feeling a lot better since the last time I saw you,"

Esined looked at me.

"That's good. What's changed since we last saw each other?"

"Schedule changin'. I finally finished applyin' ta colleges and I finished a lot of otha stuff. I'm just happy dat I'm wit Esined right now. We ain't been spendin' time wit each otha, but we finally are,"

"That's great. I know you both have conflicting schedules and it can get hard to make time for each other. Especially since the directions in life that you are both taking are different,"

"Very," I said.

"What are your plans in the future for your relationship? Do you think you both can find a way to adapt to each other's schedules?"

"If anything, I have ta switch mine around ta fit hers. She can't do too much switchin' since she's modelin' and constantly on the move,"

"I could drop a job," Esined said. "Spending time with you is important to me and I don't want us to get anymore distant than we already are,"

"I ain't tryna stop yo hustle,"

"If it can help our schedules, I'll do it. I make more than enough money to take care of myself, so I don't mind dropping a job,"

"See," I said ta Chelsea. "Dis is part of why I love her so much. She always willin' ta sacrifice fa me,"

Esined smiled. "I love you too,"

Chelsea smiled. "Awe. I think you two are going to be such an amazing couple. You guys show so much respect, honesty, and love to each other. It's beautiful and rare,"

"I feel like that's all I can show to him. Like, he's gotten me out of my shell and he deserves my honesty and respect. I definitely respect and love him," Esined explained.

I smiled, feelin' my cheeks get hot.

"You're blushing," she teased.

"Chill," I mumbled, immediately droppin' my smile.

They both laughed and Chelsea looked up at the time.

"Awe. I wish I could keep you both longer, but our session is over," Chelsea frowned and stood up.

I stood and opened the door for them.

They walked out first and I followed.

"I'll see you in a week. I hope to see you in a session again, Esined. It was nice meeting you,"

"It was nice meeting you too, Chelsea," Esined smiled.

"Make sure he gets a Friday or a Saturday," Chelsea told the receptionist before she smiled up at me. "See you next week,"

"See ya," I smiled and she left. I scheduled myself for Friday next week and we left the office.

We walked down the hall ta the elevator and got in.

"I like her," Esined said. "She's nice,"

"I'm glad you like her. She's good so far,"

We got out of the elevator and we are in the basement. We walked ova ta my car and I opened the door fa her. She got in and I closed her door. I got in on my side and started the car. I pulled out and drove off.

"You busy next Saturday?"

"Nope," she said.

"Me neitha," I said. "You wanna go on a date or somethin'?"

"Can I treat this time?" she smiled.

"No," I smiled back.

"I can't stand you,"

"I luh you too,"

"Then let me pay for our next day. It's not fair that you spoil me and I can't spoil you back,"

"You do spoil me. Be treatin' me like I'm a big baybeh,"

"You are. You're my big baby,"

"Alright. Okay, I guess dis big baybeh can let you pay fa some of the next date,"

"Yay! Where are we going?"

"Where you wanna go?"

"Bowling,"

"I don't bowl, but I'll give it a try if dats whatchu wanna do,"

"Well, I wanna do something we'll both enjoy,"

"I'll enjoy bowlin', I just suck at it," I chuckled.

"Oh, I see. Well, it's a date," she smiled.

"Mhm. You hungry?"

"Starving,"

"Whatchu want ta eat?"

"I don't know. I'm trying to watch my weight,"

"Fa what?"

"My manager told me that I'm getting chubby and I can see it,"

"Fuck what he think. You're beautiful eitha way. Ain't nun wrong wit yo weight," I glanced at her. "I thought you wanted ta be thick anyway,"

"It doesn't look right on me," she sighed.

"I think you look good, if dat makes you feel any betta,"

"It does," she admitted.

"I'm glad it does. Listen ta me, you beautiful and I don't want otha people negative opinions gettin' ta you. I know dat you have yo moments, but at the end of the day, it's up ta you on how you let othas opinions get ta you, ya heard me?"

"Yeah," she sighed, tucking a few curls behind her ear.

"Don't let these haters get unda yo skin, ma. You bad and you know it,"

She smiled faintly. "Thanks, Pooh,"

"No problem, baybeh. Let's go get some greasy ass food,"

She laughed. "Okay,"

I drove ta Five Guys and made sure she ate good.

I didn't like when people tried ta bring my baybeh down. I didn't like it even mo' when she let it get ta her. I'd do anything ta make her feel betta about herself.

-Hi guise. How are y'all?

-Bryson vc- I'm back and I'm better. lol jk. I am better.

This chapter was a filler, but I dropped some tea. Hope y'all paid attention.

This book is ending soon lol.

I've decided that... I will be...

...Making a sequel!

Is anyone going to read it or no? Lol. I don't want to write it & not have readers.

Bye for now.

Excuse typos please.

Comments & Votes are appreciated.

Much love, Shia. Xoxo