Chapter 13

Esined

As I walked home, I couldn't think straight. I was thinking about lunch with what happened between August and Chantelle. I was thinking about when Jessica set my hair on fire.

Honestly, I didn't know how to feel about August anymore. I didn't like seeing him like that. It made me kind of afraid of him. The way he grabbed and pushed her reminded me of how my father does me and I don't need anymore guys like that in my life.

Then again, I didn't want to assume that August was abusive because I know how Chantelle is. She's abusive. I want to believe that she pushed him to his breaking point and he finally snapped.

August doesn't seem like he'd be the guy to act out like he did today. It made me curious to know if that was his first time handling a girl like that.

I can't really think or speak on it because I don't know why he did what he did. I need to stop assuming things about August. Maybe he actually is a good guy like he acted towards me.

Just a good guy who was pushed to his breaking point.

When I got home, only my dad was there. My mom and Uncle Don were nowhere to be found.

"Hey," he said as he read his newspaper. "How was your day?"

"It was okay. How was yours?" I took off my shoes and put them to the side.

"Just was waiting for you to get home,"

"Why?"

"Your principal called today,"

I cleared the lump in my throat. "What'd she say?"

"Someone set your hair on fire because someone told them to do it... And it caused a fight to happen," he took a cigarette from the pack and lit it. "Were you not gonna tell me that someone did that to you?" He put it to his lips and inhaled.

My hands began to sweat and I looked everywhere, but at him.

"Did I not just ask you a question? Look at me when I'm talkin' to you,"

I gave him eye contact. "I was gonna tell you,"

"Lying. Just like your-" he stopped himself. "Come here,"

I walked over slowly and he told me to sit down on the floor. I sat down in between his legs.

He took my hair out of the ponytail it was in. "Go get me some scissors,"

"Dad," I was gonna cry. I didn't want my hair to be cut off.

"Go get 'em, Ned and hush up that noise. Ain't nobody tryna cut off all your damn hair. I'm just tryna clip the ends of the burnt piece,"

I stood up and went to get him the scissors and a comb. I handed them to him before sitting back down.

He parted my hair and combed the burnt piece before snipping at it with the scissors a few times. "Feel it. She ain't burn much of it. It's still long,"

I reached my hand back and felt it.

He was right, she actually didn't burn much.

"Who are these girls?" He asked.

"Chantelle and Jessica," I said.

"What they wanna do? Fight you or somethin'?"

"I don't know. They've been messing with me,"

"Why?"

I shrugged even though I knew why. "They were calling me poor girl and Brokey since they saw me,"

He looked at me. "Tell me the truth,"

I was telling him the truth, partially. "It was over a boy,"

"Esined, I done told you about bein' around boys,"

"No. It wasn't like that. He wanted to be my friend and I said no. He was Chantelle's boyfriend and she got mad at me because he kept on trying to be around me. Her and friends started messing with me. I swear, I wasn't hanging around no boys. I promise," I spoke quickly, holding his hand that I thought he was prepared to slap me with.

He stared at me. "You better not be lying,"

"I'm not. I promise,"

"You know what I'll do if you're lying, right?"

"Yes, sir,"

He gave me a look that made me uncomfortable. "Is your homework done?"

"Yes,"

"You can go outside if you want to," he mumbled before coughing roughly.

"Dad, are you okay?"

He nodded before continuing to cough.

"You sure? You've been co-"

"Shut up and get me some water damnit!" He pushed me away from him.

I rushed to get him some water. I gave it to him and watched him drink it.

He looked at me with a disgusted look on his face before standing up. Something fell from his lap and he continued walking, not noticing that it had fell.

I waited for him to make it to his room before picking it up.

It was a small photo. I immediately noticed myself as a baby, mama, and dad. There was a woman in the photo that I didn't really recognize. I wasn't sure who she was nor did I remember her ever being around. She wasn't in any of our other family portraits. It was strange.

I turned the picture over, trying to see if there was any caption for it. I knew Mama marked all of our pictures with the year and location. She also put the name of everyone who was in the photo.

There was no names or anything on the back of it. I went to my dads room and knocked.

"What do you want?!" He yelled.

"Can I come in?" I asked.

I heard him sigh in frustration. "Come in!"

I walked in and handed him the picture.

"Why'd you have this?"

"You dropped it. I was just giving it back," I spoke softly.

He looked at me.

"Who is she?" I pointed to the woman.

"Nobody important. Don't worry about it," he tucked the picture into his wallet. "You can leave now,"

I put my head down before leaving. I made sure to close his door all of the way.

I went outside and sat in the grass. I hummed Nina Simone's I Loves You Porgy to myself as prepared to write poetry.

I loves you, Porgy,Don't let him take meDon't let him handle meAnd drive me madIf you can keep meI wanna stay here with you foreverAnd I'll be glad

I sat in the grass, writing and singing on this bright and chilly day. I was calm and relaxed. I wondered where my mama and Uncle Don was. Sometimes I enjoyed being out by myself, but then I'd get lonely and want my mama or Uncle Don as company.

"Yes, I loves you, Porgy. Don't let him take me," I heard my mama's sweet voice.

"Mama," I smiled, standing up. I hugged her slightly curvy frame and she smiled as she hugged me back.

"How are you doing today, Essy?" She kissed my forehead.

"I'm okay, Mama. I missed you. Where'd you go?" I frowned.

"Uncle Don went with me to take care of some errands," she touched my hair. "Did he hit you?"

"He just pushed me, that's all,"

"Guess what," she whispered.

"What?"

"We're leaving this weekend. Him and Don will be gone. We can just leave. Are you ready?"

"Yes. Where are we gonna go?"

"Detroit,"

"Where are we gonna stay?"

"Baby, don't worry about that. Mama got this, okay? You just be ready to go,"

"Okay," I smiled.

She kissed my forehead. "We're finally leaving," she gave me a wide smile.

I gave her back a grin.

I could literally jump from joy. I was more than ready to go. I wanted to leave and be happy with mama. I want to take care of her and show her a better life. I was ready to leave this all behind. All of the hurt and pain. Bullies at school. Most of all, my dad. I would miss my Uncle Don, Ricardo, and Viola, but it was time for mama and I to leave. If they knew my situation, I believe they would understand.

-Hi. Ready are y'all for Esined and her mom to leave?

I know I'm ready. I just gotta write it lmao.

I feel like I want to give Viola a pov, but not just yet. If I do, it'll just explain some missing things. Just giving y'all the tea that has been scolding for chapters.

I really looove the comments on this book. Like, seriously. Y'all are sweet.

I appreciate all of the love, fr.

Honestly, I didn't think no one was gonna read or like this book. I don't know why, but I just did. I guess that's just me being an insecure writer. Lol.

But ya knooow! Comments and votes are always appreciated.

Much love, Shia. Xoxo.