⭑ 20:

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⭑ Eyes widened, hands trembling and heart threatening to jump out of his chest any moment. Hongjoong was feeling all of this. He was being kissed again. Seonghwa was kissing him again, sliding his hands on his waist and pulling him closer.

After a moments the two stopped. Seonghwa wiped his lips. Like he did the first time they kissed.

"Hongjoong" he spoke his voice sounding a bit hoarse. "Open your eyes."

And he did. A shiver travelled down his spine, cold and electric. He could sense the command in the older's voice. So he did.

"I'm sorry I couldn't..." the black haired male let out a breathy sigh his hand ruffling his own hair. "I couldn't control myself"

Hongjoong stared at him with wide eyes. Too stunned to even speak (again) even if he did his would fail him right away.

"Aren't you going to say anything? Get mad?"

The older asked in slight confusion and frustration because he couldn't understand why all this happening to him. He has never thought about kissing another boy let alone do it.

The pink haired shook his head with very little energy. He didn't know what to say. His brain practically malfunctioning, 'thoughts' forming machine was broken.

"Why did I do that?" Seonghwa ran his fingers through this hair again irritation. "I don't know why I did or where all of this is coming from"

He knew about the smaller being gay because obviously back when he would crush over him he'd tell him and Yunho.

"I-I'm sorry if you feel like I took advantage of you joong. I promise it's nothing like that"

Hongjoong had a frown on his face listening the other speak but that was replaced by it softened. It felt nice to know Seonghwa wasn't doing any of that even though he wasn't thinking that way before but the clarification felt nice.

"Y-your lips. They looked to inviting. I love the natural peachy colour they are. And the way..."

His breath hitched, why was Seonghwa talking about his lips like this. He started peeling some skin of his lips, just an absentminded thing Hongjoong did whenever he was feeling anxious but the other held his wrist all of a sudden making him let out a light gasp and stop.

"Don't do that. Your lips might bleed and it will hurt a lot okay?"

Hongjoong nodded slightly and his eyes moved back down to the floor. He couldn't look at the older at all.

"Good." The only word the older replied with and that too in a low voice before walking towards their shared room. Leaving the younger just like that. All alone to deal with his heart the was beating so fast it felt like there was extra blood to pump.

.

I can't believe I kissed him like that again especially after trying to stop myself. Do I like Hongjoong? Fuck...no this can't be you aren't gay Seonghwa you don't like boys.

I feel so frustrated I'm not sure when I even put shampoo on my hair and why I'm rubbing it off so aggressively right now. It's not that I think being gay is wrong it's just that I've never even thought about kissing a boy or even have feelings for one. Maybe I don't Hongjoong. Maybe this is lust. It must be. He sure is gorgeous and extremely attractive so this is normal.

.

Putting away the towel away after drying his hair, he came to sit on his bed and looked over to the younger who was watching but looked away as soon there eyes met. Sighing he pulled the covers on top of himself and tucked himself to bed.

"Go to bed Hongjoong. I'll turn off the light once you sleep" he knew how the pink haired had a fear of darkness and being alone.

"T-thanks hyung, goodnight"

The clock went on ticking and time went on changing it had already been an hour since he later on his bed but Seonghwa still couldn't sleep. He had insomnia and used to take sleeping pills before but recently the company asked him not to. He felt like it was a stupid decision but didn't say much and followed the rules. The scenes of the kiss playing in his mind weren't helping either. He tossed and turned around but  to find the sleeping position he's body might've been desiring but nothing was working. He looked at Hongjoong's bed. The lamp was still on dimly lighting up the room and so he could see the younger's closed eyes.

How is he fast asleep when I'm here overthinking my brains out? Fuck. I want to kiss him again. Seonghwa grunted grabbing his hair in frustration and pulling it. 

"H-hyung"As soon as he heard a voice stopped his silly movements and looked over to see Hongjoong slowly sitting up. The dim light of the lamp was enough to capture the leader looking at him from under his  impossibly long lashes.

Once he sat up properly Hongjoong somehow couldn't speak anymore so he stayed silent while the older tilted his head a little in a bit of confusion making his cheeks turn pink. Ugh why is hyung looking cute right now?

"I-I wanted to say something" what. Obviously.

Seonghwa face palmed himself, he was still feeling frustrated and this clearly wasn't helping.

"Go ahead"

"I'm n-not s-sure what is going in your head but erm you...if you're c-confused about something or stressed then uhh"

Hongjoong stopped for a few seconds but the older let out a loud sigh making him panic that he might be getting annoyed.

"thenyoucankissme"

Shocked at his own words he slapped his hands on his mouth and looked at the older to see his reaction.

"Wait what?" Seonghwa was beyond lost.

"Th-then y-you can...kiss me"

And that's how a few minutes later Hongjoong ended up trying sit straight on his bed but it felt difficult because he was being kissed by the black haired male again. However this wasn't just kiss, it was a proper make out session. Something the leader didn't know he'd be having anytime soon.

Seonghwa had a tight but gentle grip on the back of other's neck as he pushed him forward towards himself more into the kiss. He felt goosebumps rise in his arms. The kiss was so hot. He nibbled on the younger's lips before pulling apart. Their heavy breathing was synchronised.

He let out a chuckle looking at the disheveled face of the younger. The soft pink on his cheeks was visible and it was the most adorable thing other than the glossy eyes Hongjoong had.

Wiping his lips again Seonghwa smiled at the other. "Thanks for this." He leaned in to place a kiss on Hongjoong's forehead and left to lay on his bed.

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