estrellas~chapter 19

(A/N FLASHBACKS ARE IN ITALICS)

Prom was almost as great as homecoming, the only issue being Conrad. I made excuses for him in my head, maybe it was just lame, or perhaps he was too old to enjoy a school dance. But, there was no excuse for how he treated my sister.

"Let me see their corsages!" Sussnah yelled from the iPad.

For Prom, I wore a Green Chic Long Satin Dress. It was tight until my waist and extended out. Jere wore his Tux and a Green satin tie to match my dress. He had bought me a white corsage with some green accents, it was so cute.

"Thank you, I love it!"

I have a bright smile while I turn over and see disappointment all over my sister's face, Conrad forgot her corsage.

I should have known things were going to only get worse when I never even saw Connie and Belly on the dance floor. I shouldn't have been so focused on myself. All night I was dancing with Jere, instead I should've been checking in on Belly.

It's the end of the night and I check my phone for the first time, I have a single text from Belly.

One New Message

Conrad and I left early, have fun with Jere-Bere

I should have known it was weird, but I thought maybe they had just wanted some alone time.

~

"It was funny," Belly says.

"What was?" I ask.

"I met their cousin, Skye."

"They have a cousin?" I ask, I honestly had no idea.

"Yeah, I guess." She laughs and that makes me smile.

"I'm sorry Jere is being such an asshole to you."

"Me too. I just..." I fidget with my rings, "I wish he could know how I still want to be there for him, no matter how bad he treats me all I want to do is give him a hug and tell him everything is okay."

"Um... Lauren," Belly starts to say.

"No, I know it's silly but I can't imagine ever loving someone the way I loved him, love him, you know? Like, how do I just give up all of that and throw it away? I just can't..."

Someone clears their throat from behind. There was Jeremiah, my... Jeremiah was standing there.

I was shocked, I just wanted to sit there and drown.

"Um," I move my hair out of my face and play with my rings more.

Belly stands up out of nowhere, "You two should talk." She ran as fast as she could out of the situation, what I would give to do that.

He sits next to me.

We just stare off in silence. The love of my life is sitting right next to me and I can't grab him, or kiss him, or even just look at him without making everything worse.

I didn't realize it, but I was crying. Tears were falling out of my eyes. The last time I let him see me cry was at the funeral. I never wanted to feel that weak again. But, I just couldn't help it.

I looked over to see if he noticed and he was crying too. We just stare at one another. Both of us were weeping next to each other.

"I'm.." we both say at the same time.

"No," he says, "Me first."

"I'm sorry Lauren, I really needed you and I pushed you away, I'm so sorry, I was so angry at my Dad, at Connie, at the world. I needed you and I left you, I'm so sorry," he says while tears stream down his face.

I didn't even realize it but I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug, "I missed you Jere-Bear," we both were full-on sobbing while hugging.

"Promise to never leave me again?" I say between sobs.

He puts our heads together, "I will never put you through that again, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me?"

"I do, I just..."

"Just what?" he says.

"You just look a little dry."

I pushed him into the pool, unfortunately, he was able to grab me with him.

"Dammit I can't believe I fell for that," He splashed water on my face.

We swam over to each other and just stared at one another.

"I can't believe you're in front of me and I'm not all over you," he says.

"You could be," I swam closer.

Conrad yells from the kitchen, "I'm making sandwiches, stop crying and get food!"

Jere and I both laugh and get out of the pool.

Maybe things could go back to the way they were between us.

~

After cleaning up and eating, we sat around the dining table waiting for Conrad's phone to go off.

"Dad should be calling soon," Conrad says.

"We can go upstairs," I offer, referring to Belly and I.

"No," Jeremiah says, "We need you guys here with us."

His phone buzzes, "Dad, hey."

"Hey, Con. I only got about a few minutes here."

"Hey, Dad." Jere chirps in.

"Jere? You're in Cousins, too?"

"Yeah, just got here last night..."

"All right, look, I got a heads-up from the bank telling me you're trying to access your trust. That's not gonna happen."

~

The call came early in the morning. When someone calls at that time it's never good news.

I found out first, Jeremiah called me immediately after it happened.

When I answered and all I heard were his sobs I knew... I knew right away.

The funeral was what I thought it'd be. A eulogy from a pastor who never met her. People sobbing who barely knew her. It was exactly what I expected. The entire time, Belly couldn't keep her eyes off Conrad. I wondered what she was thinking. They had broken up a few weeks prior and I was worried about the both of them.

The thing that caught me the most off guard, was when Conrad asked all of us kids to sing a song with him. He even asked Belly to help us. So, we did, in honor of Susanah.

The Pastor invited us up. Conrad, Jeremiah, Steven, Belly, and I all went up there and sang Sussanah's favorite song.

"Oh, where, oh, where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me. She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good. So I can see my baby when I leave this world." We sing behind our tears and our voice cracks.

While singing I saw the pain in Jeremiah's eyes, I grabbed his hand and rubbed it back and forth as a way of comfort. I made a promise to myself at that moment. I would not leave my boyfriend's side for the rest of the day. He would need me.

When we arrived at their house Jere and I went upstairs. He immediately fell onto his bed. I sat at his desk.

"Are you hungry?" I ask in a dull voice.

"A little," he says.

I walk over and kiss his cheek, "I'll go get you some food. "

I walk downstairs to get some cheese and crackers when I hear yelling.

I turn over my shoulder and hear someone say, "Go to hell." It was Belly.

I move to see who she is yelling at, and she yells at Conrad. I know she is hurting but he just saw his Mom get put in the ground. I wish she could be a little more sensitive. At least right now.

My Mother runs after Belly and I head back upstairs to check on Jeremiah. There he is, just sitting on his bed staring off into space. I don't blame him, I don't know what I would do in this situation.

"They didn't have any tiny sandwiches so I got you some crackers and..."

"We need to break up." He says abruptly.

It catches me off guard, "Ooh... Um," I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly and try to laugh, "Weird joke Jere."

He doesn't even look at me, "I'm not joking Laur... Lauren."

I just stared at him shocked, he isn't doing this, I thought. This isn't real.

"Why?" I ask softly. I felt as though someone had taken a nail gun and shot me in the heart repeatedly with it.

"I can't be there for you," he says.

"That's okay, we can take it slow but please don't end things. We... I need you, Jeremiah!" I practically yell.

I walk over to him and cup his face, "You don't mean this... please?"

Tears started to form in my tear ducts. He was serious, the Jeremiah I knew wouldn't joke about this. First Sussanah, and now Jere, I can't lose him too, not like this at least.

"We are done." He says as he choked on his own words.

He can't even look me in the eyes.

"I don't believe you!" I yell back, "You don't mean this, I'm your star? I'm your Estrella? You said I was the only one you could ever love and you're going to leave it like this?" I'm falling over the edge, I can't handle this, I can't lose him.

"I guess not anymore." He says brutally.

"Please fight for us, Jere, I love you."

I see his jaw clench at my words.

"Say it to my face, tell me you don't love me, Jere." I'm practically begging him at this point.

"I... I don't love you, Lauren." He takes my hands off of him and stands up. He starts to leave the room.

"I'm not letting you end it like this, not right now. Please, Jeremiah, you may not be willing to fight but I will." I say in between sobs.

"Please..." He began, "Leave me alone."

~

I zone out after Adam starts to refuse to even listen to any of the ideas Conrad and Jere have. There was no way Adam was going to budge.

"Conrad was right. Talking to you is pointless." Jeremiah said and hung up the phone.

All of our hopes were crushed, and just perfect timing. Steven and Taylor open the door.

"Surprise!" They yell.

We all looked like shit.

"I knew we should have told them we were coming," Taylor says.

Once everyone is settled in, it's nice to have a full house, like in the olden days.

We all agree to watch a movie, but what movie?

Everyone is arguing over the remote when Jeremiah suggests, "What about Grease?"

I look at him and smile, "You want to watch Grease?"

He puts a finger up, "Only if you will sing all of the songs with me."

"Deal!" I say as I snatch the remote from Steven.

I turn Grease on and everyone sings along. At one point we all were singing and smiling.

During Grease Lightnin' we all got up and danced.

"Go, greased lightnin', you're burnin' up the quarter mile!" Jeremiah sang.

"Greased lightnin', go, greased lightnin'," I sang as backup.

Everyone was laughing and smiling, maybe we could go back to normal, or make this customary.