Clear

I had Kam that night, I could have fucked her, but i didn't. 6 years and neither of us could deny that we'd do each other in the worst way.

She'd been in NY for the last week shooting for empire; it's really fucking crazy how things had happened. That's some kind God's Plan stuff. I missed her and with all the time i'd spent going from country to country i'd hardly spoke to her, and when we did talk it was awkward, I hated that. Luckily I was done with the press tour for now so when she got back we could discuss some things.

"Christmas coming up baby, who have you invited over?" my ma spoke softly with her head rested on her hand, i shrugged not looking up from my phone.

"Mijo, keeis, cae's coming too." i didn't need to include Robb, Aaron or Austin because they'd be here whether or not i invited them.

"Caelyn? I thought she was spending Christmas with her own family..." she trailed off. As you may have gathered already, moms wasn't really a fan of cae either, I don't know why though, she'd been respectful toward her every time they were around one another.

"Ma, what is your problem with cae?" she sat up.

"I told you already, that girl isn't the one for you." I rolled my eyes and she raised a brow at me. "Trust me Chris, a mother knows."

"Where are you going?" she asked when i gathered my things and stood up.

"Out." She sucked her teeth as i walked out, it was the first time i'd seen her since the tour started a month ago and she was already adding stress to my life, its tough shit when a lot of your friends and family are against your relationship.

Today was the 20th and Christmas was in 5 days, that means i had 5 days to let my ma wrap her head around the fact that cae was going to be there.

As soon as i stepped out of my car to walk into the restaurant i was meeting cae at, the papz were in my face, it was expected but never could i get used to it, that's what i like about being with mal, when we were together i never had to worry about camera's and being harassed, it was mad lowkey.

"Hey babe, i missed you." She said when i bent down to kiss her and sat down.

"Me too, what' up, what you wanna talk about?" in actual fact i hadn't missed her at all, i just seen her last night, which is why i didn't understand why she called me all the way here to discuss whatever she had on her mind.

"I need to tell you something?" i felt my mood shift then before sipping my water and nodding.

"Go on i'm listening." My hand found hers over her table, and she looked up at me then back down at her garlic bread.

"I took a pregnancy test while you were away." She said and my heart fell.

"...Well. what it say?" i sat there looking at her face waiting for her to answer, this dramatic ass pause was starting to worry me.

"It was negative." I sighed out and she looked up at me again.

"Why didn't you tell me you thought you were pregnant?" She shrugged and removed her hand from mine.

"I was scared." Bullshit.

"Why did you bring me all the way here to tell me this? Like you could have told me at home or maybe when you actually took the test." She stayed mute.

"...I don't want to make you upset, but we already discussed if anything like this ever happened we'd talk about it. You shouldn't have had to go through that alone." She nodded at my words.

"I'm sorry." "I am too. I love you, don't forget that." I leaned forward pressing her lips against mine, i didn't know what to take from our conversation, but whatever.-

"So you're going to come?!" Chris beamed like a fucking kid. I laughed putting another pickled onion in my mouth. I love these things.

"Yes Chris i'll come. You happy now?" i asked and he laughed too.

"Yeah, my mother is going to spazz when she see's you." I smiled thinking about her.

"I miss her so much i can't wait either." The conversation fell silent before he spoke again.

"So cae took a pregnancy test while i was out on tour..." i don't know what possessed him to chuck that out, i don't know why he thought it was necessary to tell me of all people either.

"So why should i care?" i replied back, i didn't want him to think i gave a fuck.

"You're not going to ask what it said?" he asked and i chuckled.

"Well judging from the fact that you said she took a test and not that she was actually pregnant. I'm assuming it was negative; Just assuming." I replied sarcastically, he cleared his throat.

"Yeah it was actually. I'm mad she didn't tell me she thought she was though." That made me nervous, he felt some type of way she didn't tell him she thought she was knocked up, that means i was in some shit.

"Yeah she should have said something...what would you have done if she was?" i was curious now

"...I don't know. Been happy, been nervous. Taken care of my responsibilities i guess. I never really thought about it." I waited to make sure he'd completely finished what he had to say before i spoke again.

"Chris there's something i need to t-" "Hold up one second, just one second i'll be right back." He said cutting me off, right then i knew it was not the right time to break this to him.

"Yeah go head i'm listening." I shook my head as if he could see me then held the phone closer to my ear.

"No its okay, i gotta go though i have my last day of shooting tomorrow, so i'll see you Christmas day?" i said ending the conversation; i really didn't have to go, i just didn't want to talk anymore.

"Umm, alright i'll see you then." I opened my mouth the say bye but he'd rushed off and the only thing i could catch was the dial tone.**

Christmas morning I was back in LA, the Range Chris gave me was parked just where'd i'd left it almost 2 weeks ago, i'm surprised it hadn't been towed off. "Merry Christmassss!" Janaie sang into my ear as soon as i answered, she and I had been introduced to one another the month before while we both sat in on U.G.L.Y's recording session, she was dating Tyga, she was cool I guess - someone to talk to other than Chris.

"Merry Christmas girl" i said back half heartedly, i wasn't one to really get in the festive mood. I'd hardly celebrated Christmas the last few years so it was weird to be doing so now.

"So what are you doing today?" i put the car in gear and put her on speaker while i drove.

"Going over to Chris' mothers house, nothing major." I heard her make a noise before talking again.

"You and chris are pretty close huh?" i'd hardly let janaie into any of my business as far as Chris goes, she just knew that, me, him and mijo were friends from back home. After finding out her and Chris' girl were friends like that, i didn't want to trust her too soon.

"Mmm i guess." I answered shortly.

"Okkaayy well i'll call you later tonight after dinner, tell the boys i said merry christmas." I answered with an alright and we both said our bye's as i turned into the complex. I had to be ready and out in the next hour and a half if i didn't want to miss dinner; we'll see.

I stood on the outer end of Mama's door with 3 boxes, one for mijo, one for mama J and of course the biggest one for Chris, i hoped they liked what i'd got them. I knocked 3 times and waited, looking down at the dress i'd worn making sure once more that it was suitable.

Chris is who came to the door, behind him i could hear a bunch of noise and i guessed dinner had in fact begun. He smiled widely at me before taking the gift boxes out of my hands and stepping aside to let me in, he closed the door behind me and i turned to look at him.

"You look amazing Kam." He complemented sweetly. "Thank you." I replied and watched him put the gifts under the huge tree set up with what looked like a hundred other gifts.

"You didn't have to get me anything." I flicked him off.

"I didn't. That's for mijo and mama." I joked and he made a face mushing mine. I laughed slightly.

"Come on." He took my hand in his after i hung my jacket up and dragged me to what i guessed was the dining area.

"Look who i found." He beamed and the room fell silent as everyone turned to me.

"Kamaiyah? Oh my God kamaiyah sweetheart." Mama J was the first to get up out of her seat and walk over to me, she grabbed me into a tight hug and i held onto her tight.

"Mama I missed you so much." I whispered as she patted my back, she pulled away and i looked down at her bright red face, she wore that huge full of life smile i remembered along with her deep dimples that i adored so much. Mama was like my second mother, did more for me than my real mother anyway.

"Come on, come on sit down grab a plate honey. I can't believe this knuckle head didn't tell me you were coming." She ushered me to the table and I greeted everyone else. It was nice seeing them all again it had been a long time.-"Thank you baby, I love it. Thank you." I watched in disgust as Chris smiled down at caelyn, she'd gotten him a customized Rolex. I didn't even know they did them, but because i knew Chris, i also knew he didn't even like silver like that so this was all just an act and he didn't really like it as much as he was putting on. She leaned up and met his lips that were puckered up for a kiss before i couldn't stand to look anymore and shifted my attention to my nails.

"Kam your gift is next." He said reaching down for the box, I was nervous for his reaction. I don't know if he was still into all that comic shit but for as long as i could remember he was obsessed with them. He ripped the paper off the box and opened it lifting out the customized Bart simpson letterman jacket, followed by the jumper and snapback. I watched as his mouth formed an O and he assessed each item.

"Oh my God Kam, I been meaning to get something like this tailored for months! Thank you so much i love it, really." He dragged out and stood to hug me.

"Ugh get off me. I'm glad you like it though." I joked making everybody in the room laugh, excluding caelyn of course.

After everybody's gifts were opened mama j and auntie Christine went to the kitchen to make some food for tomorrow, I guess they all planned to stay the night here then. As I was walking back from the bathroom I heard muffled voices, I almost left it alone until i heard Chris' voice.

"And I told you already baby she's my friend. I don't understand why you feel so intimidated by her presence. There's nothing between us i promise" Off bat i knew they were talking about me. "And i'm saying i don't like her being around you. I don't care who she is to you." I heard him sigh before muttering a "you tripping" his heavy feet made loud thuds towards the door and she followed, he exited the room first and just like the actress i was, i pretended i'd heard nothing and was simply leaving the bathroom, they both looked at me and she looked between him and i before letting out a scoff and walking in the direction of the stairs, leaving us there as she made her way down and back to the others.

There was an awkward silence between Chris and I before I stepped forward and wrapped my hand around his neck pulling his face down and sticking my tongue down his throat rough and heavy. His hand found its way to my butt and squeezed down hard, I pulled away after i felt his member poke at my thigh, looking into his brown orbs, his lips were glistening and slightly red from my lipstick, clearly he was taken back by what i'd just done.

"Nothing between us right?" i said with a raised brow and barged past him. "OH. Tell your bitch I like her ass either and she needs to keep me out of her mouth before i have to slap the shit out of her. Just sayin."