Chapter 18

29th January 2012

Zayn POV

“JADE!” I shout down the phone when she finally answers.

“What Zayn?”

“It’s Perrie,” I say through my tears, unable to get a full sentence out.

“Where are you?” she says, concerned.

“In the ambulance on the way to the hospital,” I manage to say.

“HOSPITAL? What the fuck happened?”

“Just go there,” I say. I can’t explain now. I hang up.

What have I done? What have I done to my baby? I look down at her and see her head still covered with blood, as she is strapped onto a bed. She hasn’t woken up yet and nurses are wiping the blood and doing tests as I clutch onto her hand. I just want to hold her and tell her it is going to be ok. But the nurses won’t tell me anything and I won’t ask.

We arrive at the hospital and the paramedics wheel Perrie’s stretcher out of the ambulance and ran through the hospital corridor and into the emergency surgery room.

“I’m sorry Mr Malik, you’ll have to wait out here,” the nurse says as I try to follow Perrie into the surgery theatre.

“But, she’s my girlfriend,” I say, trying to keep my eyes on Perrie until the door closes on my face.

“Sorry. No one can go in there for surgery. Please wait here,” she says and she walks into the surgery theatre.

I lean back onto the wall and bash the back of my head on the wall before sliding down to the floor and burring my head in my hands.

“Zayn?! Where the fuck is she?” Jade says as she comes running up to me with the other girls and some other X Factor contestants. I point to the surgery room. “What the fuck did you do to her?” Jade screams, grabbing me by the shirt and shaking me roughly.

“I’m sorry,” I say as my tears get more hysterical, “We were in the pool, playing around and I chucked her in, and… and…”

I get up off the floor and Leigh-Anne wraps her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “I’m so so sorry. I didn’t think… I didn’t think she’d get hurt,” I say as Leigh-Anne keeps me tightly in her hug.

She lets go and Marcus places his hand on my shoulder and says, “Zayn do you know what is happening? What have they told you?”

“Nothing. They’ve told me nothing but I couldn’t ask,” I say and I look around for Jade and see her standing away from us in the corridor.

I walk over to her and say, “Jade. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t want to fucking here it. You’ve done this to her,” she screams, pounding my chest with her fists.

“I know I did and I’m so sorry. I love her as much as you. I wish it didn’t happen as much as you. I’m so so sorry,” I say as I let her hit me. I deserve it.

“You’re sorry? YOU’RE SORRY? That is my best friend in the world. What do you thinks gonna happen Zayn? You banged her head, badly. I swear to got if she has brain damage or if she dies then I’m gonna make sure you do too, because that is my best friend. Why would you do this to me?” she screams at me. She screams, “Why?” over and over again as she thumps my chest before she loses energy and rests her head on my chest.

I wrap my arms around her as I say, “You won’t need to kill me. Don’t worry. If anything happens to her I’ll do it. I know I fucking screwed up and it is the worst thing I’ve ever done and I’ll never forgive myself for hurting her. Never.”

-

“Mr Malik, she is out of surgery,” a nurse says as she walks over to me and the girls. It has been an hour and everyone else has gone home to sleep.

“And?” I ask. I shake Jade to wake her up.

“We can’t know the full extent of the damage until she wakes up,” the nurse says.

“So she’ll wake up?” Leigh-Anne asks.

“What’s going on?” we hear a concerned voice say from behind us. I turn around and say it is Richard from management. “Are you gonna stand there like lemons or tell me?” he asks harshly.

“She injured her head and has just come out of surgery,” Jesy tells him.

“How the hell did this happen?” he asks.

“She fell in the pool in the hotel next door,” Jade says, not telling Richard all the details.

“She fell? And what was she doing in the pool?” he asks.

“It was my fault. We were playing and I threw her in. It was shallow, and… and,” I say and Jade rubs my back as a choke on the tears.

“Why were you with her?” Richard asks. I look down at the ground and fiddle with the hem of my top. “You lied to me didn’t you?” he says.

“She’s my girlfriend,” I confess, still not looking up at Richard.

“Oh no,” Richard says and slams his hand on his forehead. “Come with me Zayn. We need to talk about this somewhere private,” he orders.

“No. I’m staying with my girlfriend. You can talk to me with her when she wakes up and she is better. I don’t need this right now and neither does she. I’m staying,” I say, finally looking up at Richard and glaring at him.

“Well you’ll have to leave her when you go to America in a few days,” he says.

“I’m not going anywhere until I know she’s alright,” I say and walk away to Perrie’s hospital room, leaving Richard standing there. The girls follow me down the corridor.

As I walk into the room I see Perrie lying there lifeless and pale. Her head is bandaged up and she is connected to a drip. I sit on the chair next to her bed and took her hand, kissing it repeatedly. Over and over again I whisper, “I’m sorry,” as the tears start to fall down my face again.

The girls walk over to the bed and I let go of Perrie’s hand and move over to sit on the sofa in the corner, giving the girls and chance to talk to her.

“Perrie, I know you’re gonna be alright,” Leigh-Anne says as she tenderly strokes Perrie’s cheek. “You’re always alright. You’re a fighter and that’s why we love you,” Leigh-Anne says and she kisses Perrie’s forehead.

“Perrie, you’re my best friend in the whole world. I’ve missed you since you’ve got a boyfriend but I’m so proud of you. You’re so beautiful and you’ve changed my life for just being there. You always make time for all of us even when you don’t need to. You have to be alright because we need you,” Jade says as she holds Perrie’s hand tightly.

Jesy steps next to Jade and says, “I know I don’t always agree with what you do but it is just because I want to protect you. You always look so beautiful and you’re so innocent and you don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve to be lying in a hospital bed. You should be on the stage with us. I know you’ll be fine and hopefully soon you’ll be performing again because none of us know what we’d do without you there to cheer us up when we’re feeling down.”

As I watch the girls talk to Perrie I realize that not only have I hurt Perrie but I have hurt them too. “Girls, if you want to go back to the hotel and rest I’ll call you the second she wakes up,” I offer the girls.

“You promise?” Leigh-Anne asks.

“Yep,” I say and get up to give them a group hug, “I’m sorry again.”

“Stop it Zayn. It isn’t your fault she got hurt. And you’re staying with her and we’re just grateful you’re here,” Leigh-Anne says.

“Well I’ll call you,” I say as the girls leave Perrie’s room.

“Bye Perrie, we love you,” Jade says to Perrie.

Once the girls have left I sit down on the sofa and fall asleep.

 -

“Zayn?” I hear a raspy whisper say that wakes me from my sleep.

“Oh my god. Perrie!” I say as I jump up and go over to her, kissing her dry lips while crying.

“Zayn. What’s happened? I can’t move my legs.”

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