A Moment of Vulnerability

Butch couldn't believe what he had seen. Each of their faces, cold- lifeless. He was the one who killed, all while being watched by those above. He felt disgusted with himself, that he was now no more than a killer, he wasn't worthy of anything else.

He stormed into his bathroom, but not before getting blocked by Analise.

'What is going on here? Please don't tell me you messed up your evaluation, that wouldn't be a good reflection I-'

'Enough. I'm sorry that I couldn't be your perfect model but incase you haven't noticed, you're not a killer. You're a spectator. A designer. You stick sparkles onto victim and take credit for their sacrifice.' Butch's words lingered in the air- his anger wasn't particularly aimed at his stylist but the whole system she was apart of, it was jealousy that filled him. Jealousy that stemmed from the fact that his identity was stripped from him all for a game he was forced to play.

'Now please, move.' Butch's voice began to break. Annalise had obliged as she still analysed each word that was directed at her.

The following trio broke in, staring at the designers aghast face.

'Where is he Annalise?

'In- in the bathroom, dear.' She slowly walked away.

'It's probably best you go in first. We'll be right outside when he's ready.' Although Finnick desperately wanted to help, overwhelming Butch with questions wasn't going to be any help and his sister spent more time with him than anyone else.

Tiffany nodded and slowly entered the room. Butch was sat on the floor, with streaks of tears staining his face. He was pulling apart the skin on his hands causing some of the wounds to bleed with the depth they were. She gradually approached him and sat down next to him.

She slowly pulled his head onto his shoulder as the two just sat, with the sounds of sobs echoing around the room. He needed this moment, he needed this time to release of these trapped emotions. After a few minutes, he was able to regulate his breathing, the wave had surpassed.

'Do you remember what I was like after my games? This question seemed to surprise Tiffany but she answered nonetheless.

'Yeah, you were struggling. You spent all your energy trying to keep up this perfect image but I knew that the light within had dissipated. When the doctors found out the depth of your depression, everyone seemed surprised. None of them could understand how you managed to maintain all your responsibilities while battling such a thing.'

'Were you surprised?'

'No. You had just finished the games, I certainly didn't expect you to be straight onto your feet again- everything felt strange without your little jokes to break up the day.'

Butch couldn't help but have a grin on his face.

'You don't think they messed me up that bad.'

'They couldn't even if they tried. You can never let the Capitol take your identity away from you. I need you. They need you. You're a survivor.'

The man had tears glossed over his eyes. Knowing that someone he held so close knew his inner thoughts so well was a comfort. He felt understood. He placed his hands on his knee and spoke up once more.

'Are they outside? Johanna and Finnick?'

'Yeah, they thought it would be best for me to come in first. Make sure you didn't look all messy for them.'

Butch let out a low chuckle before shouting that the two could come in and join them. And that they did, they could still tell that Butch was exhausted from the emotional toll that was placed upon him but he was at least stable.

'Sorry about that guys. I didn't mean to scare you.'

'Uh, please. Enough with the apologies for once, your human. You can feel you know.' Tough love from Johanna was brutal but at least it was love and not an axe.

'Do you want to tell us what happened?' Finnick just wanted to understand how to best approach the situation.

'Yeah. When I was in the evaluation, I must have blacked out. I remember throwing those stupid knives and then you all appeared all of a sudden. Each of you were cold, lifeless. I had killed you.'

The trio looked around gravely after listening to the terror. They knew Butch would never do such a thing to any of them but the reality of his trauma was sinking in.

'Why would you think that?' The question came from Johanna.

'How do you think these games are going to end? After last year's fiasco I'm sure that there will be not multiple victors this time. I am not going to kill any of you.'

'None of us will. We just have to stick to completing our responsibilities in that arena.'

The agreement. So much had happened that it had slipped the man's mind.

'We know that she's selected some allies. What's the plan?' Finnick was never one to beat around the bush.

'Yeah, nuts and bolts are real winners.' The sarcasm just radiated off of Johanna.

'Finnick. You need to stick with the two. They like Mags so they will help you keep her alive and besides as long as you get your trident. No one will challenge you.' Finnick looked pensively trying to formulate a way to protest but he knew the other was right. A big crowd would bring suspicion and a higher target.

'Johanna. I know you're going to hate me saying this but you need to ensure the rest of the allies stay alive. That includes Beetee and Wiress.

Butch continued to digress after Johanna interrupted him with a frustrated grown.

'You're the most lethal in that arena. You're the best chance we have at ensuring the biggest workforce available.'

'And what will you be doing.' Johanna asked, still pissed at the role she'd been assigned.

'I will be keeping an eye on our beloved careers. I'll keep them off your back as much as I can. I've done it before, it shouldn't be that hard.'

'That's quite a task we have.' Tiffany added.

'Tiffany you can't come with me. I need you with Finnick or Johanna.'

'Not a chance. We are sticking together. End of discussion.'

Butch knew that despite his obvious protests, his sister was more stubborn than him and therefore he accepted defeat.

'Then it's settled, the golden alliance is formed.'