15

Cianna's POV

"Jaylen please talk to me," i said finishing my voicemail to him.

i've been with him for like five years we cant break up. he's been ignoring me for two whole weeks.

he finally called me back in the middle of my thoughts.

or so i thought.

it was brooklyn.

i send her straight to voicemail, I hate that I love her.

she called again and again and again until i answered.

"what do you want brooklyn?" i answered annoyed.

"i wanna see you, im sorry."

If she doesn't want me why is she so adamant about apologizing and seeing me?

"no fuck you."

"i literally almost got jumped because of you, please don't piss me off cianna. you know we can't leave each other alone."

"no, you can't leave me alone. get over me our shit is done." i rolled my eyes.

"i'm coming over."

"no you're not."

"then meet me somewhere."

"fine come get me in 30," i hung up.

fuck i hate her.

and i almost got her jumped? i guess ill ask later.

i rolled out of bed and freshened up given i showered last night. after that i threw some grey essentials sweatpants, a nike zip up, and crocs with my snapshot bag.

"ci can i bor-" my sister bust into my room, "where you going? jaylen talking to you again?"

"mind your business what do you want?" i put my phone down on my bed plopping down.

"i wanna borrow your rainbow kurt."

"yeah whatever go ahead just bring it back in the same condition. get out bri."

"well damn i'm not the one ignoring you," she grabbed the bag. "you be so rude to me nowadays."

"because it's none of your concern where i'm going and who i'm going with. you're always in my business." i fussed.

"well im sorry for giving a fuck about my sister it was a simple question damn." she turned to leave.

"i'm going out with brooklyn, there it is. i'm a piece of shit who can't leave another piece of shit alone." i sighed telling her the truth.

"why do you keep doing this to yourself, to jaylen?"

"i love him, we've been together for four almost five years. then to break up with him for her out of all people is crazy," i explained to her.

"so you cheat instead?"

my phone vibrated.

"uh i gotta go," i grabbed all my stuff and headed to the door, "lock the door for me please."

when i got outside she was standing outside of her car pacing before seeing me.

"hey uh you look good." she opened the door.

"thanks."

she shut my door and then went to the other side getting in.

we drove quietly to this secluded garden area.

it was beautiful but i knew the conversation that was soon to come wouldn't be.

"so uh.. what are we gonna do?" she asked nervously.

"can i be honest with you, i don't want to keep playing in your face." i let out a breath.

"yeah of course." she turned to me giving me her full attention making me a bit more nervous.

"i've fallen in love with you black, I can't go a second without thinking about you, and I can't leave you alone even though I know how wrong it is." i admitted how i really felt.

"so why don't you leave jaylen?"

"im attached to him, we've been together since middle school and now we're seniors. i can't just leave him."

"but you also can't keep cheating on him, he's gonna be done with you for good soon." little does she know.

"he kinda is brooklyn. i don't know what to do. what about you and that girl?" i tried changing the subject.

"she's not talking to me but uh i want her, we haven't done anything yet but im really feeling her. i mean not that i don't like you too but im torn. i don't wanna commit to you while you still have jaylen and she doesn't wanna commit to me while i can't stop messing with you."

"yeah.. i get it also i almost got you jumped?" because what?

"oh yeah your friend cynthia and like four other girls showed up to my house to jump me but i called some people and we were fine your friends kinda got fucked up though." she shrugged.

she tryna act nonchalant about the situation but i know in the moment she was tripping terribly.

"i'm sorry about that, i didn't even know." i pouted.

"no it's fine. i think we should ease up off each other though. i know you just professed your love to me so it's kinda crazy for me to say but i think that's what's best for the both of us."

what?

i felt a hole in my stomach and like someone punched me in my chest. my breath was caught in my throat.

"y-yeah," i barely got out.

"please don't cry cianna." she held the left side of my face.

"i'm not can you uh take me home?"

"yeah i got you, im really sorry." she softened her voice making me feel even worse.

i did respond and she just drove me back to my place.

i know im in the wrong but it's hard loving two people at once especially ones that already hate each other.

i just stared out of the window the whole ride until we got back.

"bye brooklyn," i said turning my body to open the door.

"wait cianna, i'll call you later. also i said ease so that doesn't mean now it just means that we are building up what we have. like if we see each other everyday or have sex at least once every week or two then we can cut back on that."

"yeah whatever." i opened the door.

She gently grabbed the collar of my shirt pulling me towards her.

"i'm facetiming you tonight and i want you to answer okay?" she lowkey did the triangle method constantly stopping at the lowest point.

"okay, can i go now?" i tried to say without getting choked up.

i think she could tell though.

"give me a kiss and you can go."

i did and we sort of started making out. i kept thinking about the situation during the kiss and when she broke it she wiped my face.

"uh, i-i gotta go." i got out of the car realizing i was crying a little.

"wait, cianna I love you."

fuck i hate her.

i just shook my head going back into my house.

"ci what's wrong are you okay?" my younger sister  threw her phone down on the couch.

"i'm fine."

"cianna come here," she sat on the couch. i went and sat next to her. "now what's wrong?" she hugged me.

i opened my mouth to speak but i couldn't all i could do was cry.

i don't know what to say or even how to feel.

i hate brooklyn..

i love brooklyn..

i hate that i love brooklyn.—-