Eighteen

-          We should go out tonight – Sam suddenly blurted – Like, before the show.

I looked up from the painting I was finishing on the floor, eyeing him curiously.

From that day at the art exposition onwards, things had been going well with Sam. We still had a lot to work on, though. We had decided to leave our fight behind, but our wounds were still fresh and we both needed to learn how to be upfront and clear with the other when it came to feelings. Or at least that was how I felt, finding it hard to simply forget about everything that happened. Living together didn't exactly make things easier, as having time on our own to think and process things became a little difficult with the other just across the wall.

So, after that night in which we made up, we decided to go back to sleeping in separate rooms, giving the other some space. That night we had been vulnerable, and after all the drama we had needed the reassurance of the other's comfort, both emotionally and physically. But we agreed that, if we wanted things to work well this time, we needed to take one step at a time. We had already started with the wrong foot before, and we didn't want that to happen again.

-          Like a date? – I questioned hesitantly, tilting my head to the side. He was sitting on the couch, with a text book miraculously on his lap, flipping through its pages. It was the first time I had actually seen him somewhat studying in months.

-          I don't know. I mean, yes, I do want to take you out on a date – he said after some seconds, nodding his head once in deliberation– But I know you don't feel comfortable enough yet to say yes to that. So we don't have to put that weight onto it, let's say we just simply go out to grab some food together and chat.

I was still getting used to this new straightforward version of Sam. Ever since that damned party at Danny's after which we had ended up sleeping together, we had kept everything feelings-related to ourselves, rarely expressing what we really wanted from the other in words. I guessed that was the main reason things had always ended up crumbling between us.

But after that day in Detroit, he had been trying to be more open with me. The few times we had sat down to talk, he had tried to be as transparent as he could. There was no use in hiding we had feelings for the other anymore, so that also made it better. There was a new feeling of understanding between us, as none of us was pressuring the other and we respected our own times. He was truly making an effort, as I knew it had always been difficult for him to open up and simply share what he thought when it came to us.

-          I'll get it if you think it's still too soon for that too– he added before going back to his book; I had unintentionally zoned out and thus stayed silent for too long.

-          No, it's alright. Let's do it – I agreed, smiling lightly. I looked down and grabbed my paintbrush with a new feeling of bliss, trying to concentrate on the finishing touches.

-          Peachy – he simply replied, still focused on the page he was reading. I could see a little smile forming on his face.

For the rest of the afternoon we stayed like that, him taking notes on his notebook and me perfecting the last details on my canvas. Around 6PM, Sam suggested leaving, as we had to go to the bar his band would be playing at afterwards, and we wouldn't have time to eat if we didn't go out soon.

I rushed into my room, not really knowing what to wear. As much as I didn't want to admit it, both going out with him and the show made me feel a little anxious. Even though he said it wasn't a date, it still didn't change the fact that we both clearly had feelings towards the other that we had yet to discuss, and that made it more stressing. And later, I would have to face his brothers, which made me feel more nervous than I was letting show. I wanted to make a good impression; I didn't know what they already knew or thought about me but I wanted to look my best as I would feel thoroughly judged.

I spent almost fifteen minutes staring at my wardrobe blankly, before giving up and deciding to wear something simple, tired of overanalysing things. I grabbed my dark green sweater, which had a low V neck that I loved. It was of course a little oversized for my petite frame, like most of my sweaters, but it paired well with my leather pants and my chained black combat boots. I decided to keep my long hair down, brushing it to make sure it looked presentable after having laid on the floor painting all day. Once I applied some mascara on and sprayed some perfume all over myself, I walked out of the room to look for my purse.

Sam was already standing by the door with my bag in his hand, absentmindedly staring at his phone's screen. I took a moment to study him; he was wearing a long-sleeved camel t-shirt with some skinny leather pants too. He had a pair of chestnut moccasins on his feet but they actually allowed to see his funny stripped socks underneath.

-          Ready? – I cleared my throat, walking over to him and taking my purse from his grip with a smile.

-          Yep – he replied, putting his phone away and grabbing both of our jackets from the hanger before we headed out.

-          Where should we go to? – I asked as he handed me mine, walking down the stairs.

-          We can choose freely; Danny lent me his car, so wherever you want to – he said shaking said keys in his hand while shooting me a smile. I was glad we didn't need to take the bus, but the fact that he had the car still itched me.

-          Did you already know I would say yes? – I arched an eyebrow as we walked through the parking lot. Why would he have the car if not?

-          I was hoping so – he admitted with a slight blush, opening the door on the passenger's side for me. He had probably caught my worried look because he quickly added – He was going to hang out this afternoon with Jake and Josh anyways, so he didn't need it. They'll drive altogether to the bar later – even though he had tried to reassure me, I still felt sorry for always using poor Danny's car.

-          One of us should really get a car – I commented as he turned the engine on, driving away from our building.

-          I know – he sighed, rubbing the side of his neck with the hand that wasn't on the wheel.

-          We can go to that new Thai food place that opened last month – I suggested after some seconds of silence, as we stopped at a red light. It wasn't anything fancy but it had become popular among students.

-          I heard their green curry is awesome – he nodded in agreement.

We got to the restaurant in less than ten minutes, and it wasn't really crowded. We took the free booth by the window and waited till a waitress approached us to place our orders.

-          Danny actually feels guilty, you know – Sam commented after she walked away, playing with the napkin holder in front of him.

-          Guilty? What for? – I asked curiously, trying to make him look up from the fumbling object in his hands. I hadn't actually seen Danny all week, so I couldn't really know if he had been acting weirdly or not.

-          Well, – he started, taking a napkin out of the thing and starting to fold it in patterns – Those weeks when we- you know, before everything downhill – I nodded, to tell him I was following – He hadn't seen much of you back at his apartment, which I guessed he had got used to due to all the Chase thing – he carried on, tossing the napkin aside and finally looking up – He told me about this, and well, he hadn't really asked Chase about it, but I assumed you guys were done. You were spending more time at home too, and well, after us going to bed together those days and everything I had really convinced myself you had broken up. And Danny now blames himself for my twisted mind – he explained, chuckling a bit.

-          Where is this coming from? – I said, feeling a little uneasy and relieved at the same time. I wasn't expecting to have this kind of conversation with him that night, but I was also glad we were discussing things. We hadn't particularly talked about what had happened regarding our fight, as we had decided to momentarily leave it behind. But he had brought it up, and I was actually eager to finally get some closure for it.

-          That's why I got mad at you that day. After believing that you weren't with him anymore, seeing you two together sent me over the edge. I felt like you had played with me. I- I really thought there had been something between us those nights together, and I don't know, I simply exploded. I thought you should know why I got mad – he concluded, giving me a side smile but quickly scrunching his eyebrows – I'm not excusing myself though, I know I was the one who told you I didn't want anything in the first place so I couldn't really expect anything from you. And I should have checked if you were still with Chase before making any assumptions. I'm sorry.

-          It's alright – I nodded, placing my laced hands on the table in front of me – Thank you for telling me this – I added, making him smile a little – I knew what I was getting into when I started avoiding him and kept on sleeping in your bed. I should have been smarter about it, too. I was really confused with everything going on, and well, I knew I had hurt your feelings when you ran away at the bar. It had never been my intention, I'm sorry as well.

-          I didn't want to hurt you either, and I know I did afterwards – he sighed, taking one of my hands in his, focusing his eyes on our fingers – I'll never forgive myself for that week – he laughed sadly, shaking his head – I want things to be okay between us. To hell with everything I have said before, I can't stay away from you Gwen. I know we need more time, but I-I hope you can give me another chance.

-          I want things to be okay between us too, Sammy, I want to give us another chance. And I'm willing to do it – I smiled, lacing our fingers together.

Before any of us could say anything else, our food arrived, and we dived right into it. We kept the conversation light, talking about his setlist for the gig and discussing the pros and cons of him playing barefoot. It was nice to go back to being this way with him; careless, happy, simple, laughing the night away. But there was still more ahead for us, so after finishing our meals and paying, we hopped into Danny's car, ready to go to the bar.

-          So, I should tell you a couple of things before we get there – Sam commented as he put the keys on, turning them – About my brothers. They can be a little... - he trailed off,looking for the appropriate word .

-         Like you? – I asked playfully, not wanting to say anything else in case it turned out to sound rude.

-          Intense – he corrected. He tapped his fingers on the wheel as he drove, clearly feeling slightly anxious – When they are together, they can get a little bit overwhelming. Jake is a little bit more chill though. But Josh... Well, you'll see it yourself. And they are both a flirt – he added, clearing his throat uncomfortably.

-          I'm sure they are alright – I laughed, shaking my head as I looked out the window.

-          No, I mean it. They... They are quite captivating. They always catch everybody's attention in the room, it's always been like that – he replied, eliciting another chuckle out of me – That's- that's one of the reasons I didn't want you to come to our shows in the first place – he admitted, slightly blushing but keeping his eyes forward.

A frowned formed on my face as I turned to look at him. He was biting down on his lip, focused on the road.

-          Why? – I questioned, eyeing him carefully.

-          Because I don't know, I had this idea you would fall for one of them – he confessed, shifting on his seat uncomfortably – They are far more interesting than me, if I have to be honest. And they've got quite the looks. I didn't want them to ruin the slight chance you liked me – he finished with a timid shrug.

I stared at him for some seconds, stunned by his words. I had never seen this insecure side of him. I knew he had doubts about him not dropping school and thus not being good enough for the band, but I never knew he compared himself with his brothers so much, and that he actually felt this way.

-          Sam... - I started, blinking my awe away. I placed my hand on his arm, rubbing his bicep with my thumb as I tried to come up with something to say.

-          It's alright, Gwen – he chuckled, shooting me a reassuring smile – They are just more outgoing. And I can't hide you forever, right?

I didn't say anything, and soon enough we were parking outside the bar. There were still twenty minutes till they performed, but the rest of the band had come earlier as they needed to make sure everything was in place and plugged correctly. Before I could open my door, Sam did it for me, the chilly air outside hitting my skin. He didn't look upset nor bothered by what he had said before, but as soon I stepped out of the car I stood on my tiptoes and gently kissed his cheek. I wanted to show him there was nothing for him to worry about, that I was here for him.

But I was the one who was worrying. I started to get more anxious as we got closer to the bar, realising I really wanted them to like me. I wanted to fit in. This was a big part of Sam's life and I wanted, from my own place, to be part of it. I nervously reached for his hand, graspingly it tightly in mine as we neared the door. He shot me an encouraging smile back, squeezing my hand, but I could tell he was feeling a little nervous too. Lacing our fingers, we finally made it inside, loud music filling our ears.

As soon as we walked in, I spotted Danny near the stage, who immediately saw us and waved. Making our way through the crowd, I took in sight two other guys with wires in their hands; they were significantly shorter and in a heated conversation. I couldn't really take a proper look at them because before I knew it, I was being engulfed in a tight hug, which barely left me any space to breath.

-          I can't believe you are finally seeing us – Danny exclaimed happily as I let go of Sam's hand, wrapping my own arms around his middle while he swayed us in a hug.

-          You better not suck – I joked back, making him chuckle. I remembered what Sam had said about him feeling guilty, and I didn't want him to be upset because of our problems, so I squeezed his middle tighter, trying to tell him it was all good before letting go.

-          If there's someone messing up tonight, that's definitely Sam – one of the other boys said, making me turn around as I took my coat off – He'll get all nervous with you here – he added with a chuckle, shooting me a smirk as Sam rolled his eyes – It's wonderful to finally meet you, Guinevere.

I recognised his voice, he had to be Josh. He sounded as fascinating as he had done on the phone that time, and finally putting a face to him was interesting. I had seen a couple of family pictures Sam had shown me, but it didn't compare to actually having the guy in the flesh. His pearly white teeth were showing through his charming smile, its shine matching the glimmer from the little hoops in his ears. He was wearing a patterned shirt buttoned up to the top, and just like me and Sam, black leather pants covered his legs. He extended his hand, which I took with a timid grasp as he shook it.

-          This is Josh – Sam said, placing his palm on my lower back and easing my nerves down – And that's Jake – he said, making me turn a bit to the side as his curly haired brother let go of my hand – Guys, this is Gwen.

If Josh was fascinating, Jake was intriguing. He extended his hand too as I faced him, which I shook while I took him in. His hair was long, just like Sam and Danny's, but it had a different wave to it. It was thinner and lighter. His features were pretty similar to Josh's, but his nose was straighter and his eyes more mysterious, making and interesting duo with the knowing smirk playing on his lips. His hand in mine felt a little bit more calloused than his twin's, but I was used to the roughness of Sam's palms and fingers, so I didn't mind it. He was wearing a patterned shirt too, but his was short sleeved and buttoned halfway, giving him a different vibe. I guessed long hair and unbuttoned shirts ran in the family. Unlike his brothers, he was wearing grey skinny jeans paired with some Chelsea boots that completed his outfit. Overall, he looked like a heartbreaker.

-          It's a pleasure – he said in a raspier voice than his twin, finally letting go of my hand.

-          The pleasure is mine – I smiled shyly at him and Josh. The Kiszka gene pack was trully amazing, they were all stunning. Sam squeezed my hip lightly, making my head turn to see him before he let go.

-          So, what's the problem here? – he asked, motioning to his brothers' hands full of wires as he walked to his bass. It was his mint green coloured one; his favourite.

-          Don't even ask, they have been bickering fort the past forty minute– Danny sighed, rolling his eyes. He rested his side on an amplifier and took his phone out, clearly tired out by the issue.

-          Joshua here thinks he knows all about my pedals – Jake started with an irritated voice as he jumped up the stage. It wasn't too big; it suited the bar's medium size perfectly – And swears I'm connecting everything the wrong way.

-          Because you are – Josh chuckled, starting to play with one black thread in his hands. He made his way to where I stood, leaning back on the table right behind me.

-          As if I didn't know my pedals – Jake huffed, crouching down on the floor and rearranging some wires – I have been doing this for years and now you suddenly decide I'm doing it wrong?

-          Okay, that's enough – Sam interrupted as he finished checking his own amp on stage. He shot me a reassuring smile for the second time than night before looking around, checking that everything stood in place – We haven't changed the setlist, right?

-          No, we didn't – Josh confirmed. He then turned his face to me, eyeing me up and down quizzically – I'm hurt you turned down my invitation to come last time we talked. And instead, you came now accompanying this excuse of a bassist – he said teasingly, making me chuckle. I was already getting used to his ways.

-          I'm sure you'll get over it – I joked back, crossing my arms after deciding to play along. My eyes met with Sam's and he smiled lightly, clearly listening to our conversation – But I won't deny his skills as a bassist are rather poor – I continued, looking back at Josh with my own smirk. I could see the long-haired boy's head shooting up with a playful scowl, making my grin grow wider – And don't get me started on the piano, he completely sucks at it.

-          The piano is terrible – Josh agreed with a laugh of his own, looking up at Sam who was already walking over to us. He was trying to look offended, but he was completely failing at it, as a little smile was creeping onto his face. I bit my lip as he stopped in front of us, crossing his own arms over his chest. He looked beautiful – He's actually good at singing, have you ever heard him singing?

I couldn't contain my laughter, Sam himself losing his serious semblance too, as we all knew he was a terrible singer. I extended my hand so that I could pull him closer to me, and wrapped an arm around his back, looking up at him with a teasing look.

-          He's so good that I don't even let him sing in the apartment. I don't want his voice to go to waste, so I better keep him quiet – he was looking back at me playfully, biting down on his own lip. He uncrossed his arms, and his left one made its way around my shoulders, pulling me even closer to his side. He kissed the top of my head as I loosely circled my other arm around his front, loving that we could go back to our joking manners after such a long time.

Josh shot us a knowing smile, shaking his head lightly. He winked at me before he stood up and walked away, heading over the stage.

-          I won't say anything about the bass, but the piano comment really got to me – Sam said teasingly, leaning back where his brother had been seconds before and making me stand between his legs – I did play piano live for you once.

-          And it was beautiful – I said, sliding my arms around his neck as I leaned onto his body in a tight hug. I couldn't help but smile as he wrapped his arms around my waist, remembering that night perfectly – I'm happy I'm here, Sammy, thanks for letting me in.

-          I'm happy you are here too – he replied in a low voice, tightening his grip around me. After our conversation at the restaurant and what he said in the car, I felt like I understood him better. I liked seeing his vulnerable side, and it made me realise I wanted more of it. I wanted all of him.

-          We are up in five! – we heard Danny's voice in the distance, making us pull away slowly. We still didn't remove our arms from the other, as we had been longing to hold the other for quite some days.

-          Mackenzie couldn't come tonight so I'm sorry we've got you no company – Sam commented, looking around the bar – You can stay at this table, though, it's pretty much ours and you'll be right next to us – he finished, looking down to the table he was leaning on to. A couple empty beers rested on it, as well as a few guitar picks and a lot of scribbled pages, which I assumed were possible setlists.

I nodded in response, looking around myself to see the place was actually pretty crowded. There were people from all ages; you could see old men with big beards, and young girls chatting animatedly.

-          I think you should go; the guys are already up there – I mentioned as my eyes landed on Jake, who was already holding his guitar as he wiped some strands of hair away from his face. Sam sighed, taking one last look at me – Good luck.

-          I won't need it – he replied as a smirk grew on his face. He winked at me and I rolled my eyes, letting go of his body. But he quickly kissed my cheek before he walked away to the stage, making me blush at the innocent gesture.

The crowd was already expectant, but when Jake first strummed his guitar, he caught everybody's attention. He played a little bit with some notes, the anticipation in the room growing denser, before Josh greeted us with his award-winning smile.

-          Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Are you ready to have some fun? – Sam and Danny followed behind him with a little intro as the crowd cheered – We are Greta Van Fleet, and this is Standing On.

And just like that they started playing. Music blasted through the room as they worked on their instruments, Josh graciously moving until he finally began to sing. People were loving them; big tough guys were rocking their heads with the beat as younger ones cheered with smiles. More curious eyes started to get closer to the stage, mesmerized by the blueish song that still had a lot of rock to it.

They were all doing amazingly. I was truly surprised with how good they sounded live; I had heard some recordings Sam had showed me but it didn't compare to feeling their energy and seeing them with your own eyes. Their music was electrifying and there was no way you couldn't be captivated by them immediately. Each of them stood out, having their own style, making it hard for you to try to catch up with everything going on.

But my attention was drawn to Sam. I was fascinated by the way he moved, how his fingers danced over the strings and his hair bounced with his body, following the rhythm. He had taken his shoes off before the show started, walking around the stage with his cute stripped socks, making me smile. He was really into the music, you could see the concentration in the faces he made, especially when he pressed on the frets further from the headstock. He caught me staring at him a couple of times, smiling proudly to himself as he kept on playing. I was absorbed by his presence, completely mesmerized and actually feeling happy I could finally see this side of him.

The show ended in a high, their song "Highway Tine" being a complete hit. I didn't know for how long they performed, but I enjoyed it so much I literally lost track of time. I clapped and cheered enthusiastically along the rest of the people, grinning happily as they bowed on stage.

The roaring eventually died down, as everybody went back to their drinks in animated chattering and the band started unplugging everything and putting their instruments away. I moved from my stool, walking over to them as they hopped off the stage.

-          That was incredible – I smiled as Danny came over to hug me first, lifting my body up. He was a little sweaty, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle – They totally loved you – I said as he put me down, turning around to Jake who actually surprised me with short side hug too. I was shocked when Josh hugged me briefly as well, but it actually made me feel happy that they already felt comfortable around me.

-          And I didn't mess up – Sam added, being the last one to jump off the stage. I turned around to see him just before he took me into his arms, engulfing my body with his. I hugged his middle tightly as he swayed us from side to side, closing my eyes and relaxing into his familiar warmth.

-          You were awesome – I mumbled against his chest, making he rub my back gently before he pressed a kiss to the crown of my head, finally releasing me.

-          We'll take this to the car later. Who's up for some beers? – Jake asked, taking the stool next to the one I had been sitting on and motioning for the waiter to come. Danny dropped the amps he had grabbed and sat down in front of him, the rest of us following suit.

The drinks that night were on the house for us, as part of the payment the guys received, so we couldn't complain. I didn't drink that much though, as Saturday mornings I had my shift at the coffee store. I ended up sitting next to Jake, Sam in front of me and Josh at the head of the table, being the attention seeker he naturally was. He wasn't as petulant as Sam had said he would be, though; once he was done joking around he became a lot more serious, discussing the most interesting topics and actually seeming curious about whatever I said.

-          We should have warned you before he moved in with you – he chuckled, gesturing with his hand – It's worse when he gets a new record, he starts playing it non stop until he can play it himself.

-          Jazz is not that bad – I laughed, loving how they bantered about their music taste. The four of them claimed they had the best, of course.

-          Not that bad? Gwen, it's simply majestic and you know it – Sam said, grabbing some fries from the basket in front of him.

-          It's actually nice listening to Davis while I paint – I admitted, nodding my head in agreement.

-          Are you exposing somewhere? – Jake asked curiously, taking the last swig of his beer. Sam was right, he was a little bit more laid back than Josh, but he was still pretty amusing, escalating to wild when he teamed up with his twin.

-          Not yet, but I supposedly will in a month or two for one of my classes. It will be a campus thing, though, nothing big – I replied with a shrug.

-          Oh, we would love to go – Josh chirped, taking a sip of his drink – Just let us know when and where and we'll be there.

-          You don't have to, guys – I chuckled, grabbing the last fries in the basket.

-          You came to our show, we go to your exposition. Artists supporting artists, right? – Jake replied, smiling at me.

-          Sure, if you say so – I chuckled back. It was nice talking like this with them, feeling like we were slowly forming a bond.

I was about to take the fries to my mouth but Sam made a noise, pouting and making puppy eyes. I rolled my eyes playfully as he opened his mouth, letting him bite them to the half and taking the rest into my own mouth.

-          Hey, we are going to this club afterwards, do you wanna come? – Danny questioned, looking at me and his best friend.

-          Sorry dude, we'll just head home. Gwen has to work early tomorrow morning – he answered when he was done chewing, warming up my heart. He could have gone with the guys, I wouldn't have minded – It's actually pretty late already – he commented, checking the time on his phone. He looked at me to see if I wanted to go, to which I nodded.

-          Oh, that sucks - Jake said - We should definitely go out sometime altogether. But well, we better get going. Let's carry this to the truck - he added, getting up from his stool and walking towards his guitar case.

We all stood up and gathered our things, all of the guys carrying their instruments and pedals. Some of the bar's employees helped with the amps and Danny's drum kit too.

I intertwined my fingers with Sam's as we walked out of the bar into the cold night. I didn't want it to end; I had had so much fun and I felt so glad he had finally brought me that I wished it could last forever. His brothers had been awesome, and I hadn't seen Danny all week either, but what I really enjoyed was seeing him in his element, being his truly cheerful self.

The rest of the guys walked a few feet ahead of us engaged in their conversation, so I leaned on the wall and pulled on his hand forcefully, making his body crash against mine. Without even thinking it, I grabbed his face, pulling it down and planted a full kiss on his lips.

He responded immediately, carefully dropping his bass to the floor and cupping my cheeks at first, eventually sliding his hands down my body until they stayed firm on my waist. I had missed his taste, his touch, his tongue, his passion; every little single thing about him made my mind spiral. The kiss was gentle and soft, as we slowly moved our lips in complete synch. We had missed each other, you could tell by the way in which our mouths moved together, and it that moment, sharing a sweet innocent kiss didn't feel rushed or pressured, it felt completely right. It was what we needed.

Some whistling and hollering reached our ears, making is reluctantly pull away. Josh was clapping from across the street, next to Jake who was smoking a cigarette with a smirk, leaning against their truck. Danny was still loading their gear, but there was a huge smile playing on his face too. They all waved at us, not being able to contain some other teasing comments before they hopped on the truck, driving away in a matter of seconds.

I shook my head and laughed, letting my forehead fall against Sam's chest. He chuckled and kissed my head one last time before he reached down for his bass. Lacing his other hand with mine, he started walking us to Danny's car, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles and humming to himself happily.

As he had said before, we couldn't stay away from each other, no matter how hard we tried. But I didn't mind it. Because this time, I knew there was no one else I would rather be with.