-12-

"Let You Down"

"Better luck next time...." He smirks as he goes with his team, cheering as their coach high fives every single one of them.

I looked back at the icy floor, processing what just happened right now. My ears only heard the sound of the other team cheering as the announcer calls the other team the winners and the game over.

I failed.

"I-It can't be over..." I whispered as my hands touch the icy floor "It can't be..."

"Nai, c'mon, Coach is waiting for you" Luis mumbled as he helped me up, my head hung low as I stared down on the floor.

As he helped me towards Bombay, I can hear the sound of some of my friends either trying to hold back the tears, or mumbling under their breath angrily. Either way, it hurt me.

"You all did amazing out there. I'm proud of each and every one of you for trying your hardest not to give up" Bombay said as he softly smiles at us "You guys should rest. Practice will be cancelled until September 8th"

"C'mon guys. Let's change so we can go" Charlie sighed as we followed him to the locker room.

I felt a hand touch my shoulder, realizing it was mom and possibly Nina next to her. I couldn't bare looking at her, not like this. She knows that failing is the worst thing that can happen to me. If I even took one glance at her I would've broken down right here and now.

"You can go home mamá...." I mumbled sadly "Thanks for coming...."

I followed Connie and Julie to the girls locker room. As I walk over to my locker and started changing, I hear Julie cussing as she threw her helmet across the room, landing on the locker doors as it echoes a loud sound in the room.

Connie and I didn't say a word. As a goalie, she felt like it was all her fault, which it wasn't. If anything, she was the player of the year.

"That's bullshit! I had that puck! I know I did!" She exploded "God I'm such a fucking idiot to go right when he shot it to the left!"

She began cursing over and over as she sits down on a bench, her face buried in her hands

"Julie, you did amazing out there! All of us did just like Bombay said!" Connie agonized as she comforts Julie "Nai tell her!"

I grabbed my bag and stick as I slightly looked up at them "I'm the idiot Julie, not you... I failed you guys and myself... I'm sorry" I apologized as I started walking out.

I tend to keep walking as Connie called out my name from the locker room. I clenched my teeth as she said my name one last time, the lump on my throat hurting.

I looked over at the rink to clear my head, but couldn't bare to look at that. It made me feel even more sorrowful.

"You should go talk to Dean" A familiar voice recommended "Everyone left already, but him"

"Yeah... maybe I should" I answered sadly as I walk pass Luis

"U-Uh Nai, wait!"

I slightly turn my head back, waiting for his response. In the corner of my eye, I can see him shaking his head and continues to walk out the stadium. I left my bag and stick outside the door as I entered the boys locker room. My eyes went straight to Dean as he was sitting on a bench, his head hung low.

I gently knock on the door, wondering if he would care to look up. I was right, he didn't even move a finger. I cleared my throat as I walked towards him, sitting next to him in silence.

"I fucked up this time huh?" He spoke up, breaking the silence

"Yeah, you should've used your bandana instead of your headband" I joked, trying to at least cheer him up

"That's not what I meant Nai!" He shouts as he stood up "I fucked up by dropping Cooper, and you know it!"

I felt myself tense, that lump that was in my neck started to hurt even more to a point where I wanted to cry. He's blaming himself when in reality, it should be me.

He paced back and forth as he finally grabs a chair and breaks it with his leg, making me jump a little. I knew he didn't mean to do that, he just wanted to protect me, even I knew that.

"It's not your fault Dean" I began as I stood up and walked towards him "You did what you had to do"

"This whole this was a shit show" He fumed "I had to sit here on my ass in this stupid locker room the whole game because of doing some bullshit move"

"I'm the one to be given all the blame Dean" I shout back "Failure was the one thing I hopped it wouldn't happen in this game, but it did. I'm the one who failed us all damn it!"

"But you encouraged us to get out there and do our best!"

"But I wasn't good enough ok?!" I fumed as he stayed quiet "I-I felt useless... like I didn't do a single thing!"

I started to tremble as I clenched my fists, trying my best to hold back all the tears. I wasn't going to cry, it wasn't worth it, but why does it hurt so much to lose?

"I'll leave you alone now, I'm sorry Dean" I mumbled as I walked out the locker room.

I quickly grabbed my stick and bag as I left the stadium. I never liked being upset. It always made me look weak.

I didn't to head home because I already knew Nina might be there with mom so they can comfort Luis and I. I didn't want any comfort right now, because it'll make burst out crying.

I didn't know where to go so I just let the wind guide me. It was somewhat soothing to hear the sounds of cars passing by and children running and laughing. By then I was at a park, but there wasn't much people around, only a few couples here and there but not much.

I took a seat at a bench as I stared down at a small pond. There wasn't gooses or even the cute little ducks since it was already fall. So the pond was just as still as it can be.

"Mind if I sit here?"

I look up to see an elderly man all covered up from head to toe. I was barley able to see his warm smile from the big red scarf he was wearing.

"Um, yeah sure" I answered

We sat there in silence, hearing nothing but the sound of leaves and bushes moving as the wind gently blew. He didn't seem like a bother. He was just like me, looking at the quiet pond.

"You play hockey?" He spoke, making me tilt my head towards him

"Yeah, played since I was able to walk" I responded

"That's good. Better to learn young so you can become stronger is what I say" he sighed happily

Suddenly, this elderly man became intriguing to me "So you have played?"

"A bit yeah, but I've watched over someone who played since he was a kid. His name was Gordon Bombay. A short fellow, but he was just fine"

"You know Coach Bombay?" I queried

"Of course! He was a good lad, never gave up and practiced every single day. Sadly, the boy injured his leg and couldn't play anymore" his face changed as he said the last sentence, as if he were the one that got injured.

"I never knew that..." I murmured as I looked back at the pond "You must've blamed yourself"

He sighs "Everyday. As if I knew he was going to injure himself, but didn't tell a soul"

I looked back at the pond "Seems relatable"

"Seems like something is bothering you sweetheart" He added

"Actually, there is" I sighed

"I figured it's that game you played earlier" he predicted "I heard it on my radio"

"So you heard it too huh?" I muttered sadly "I felt like I wasn't good enough. I failed not only the whole team, but myself"

"You did go to the championship though" He reassured me

"That's true, but we didn't win" I commented "I'm a failure"

"You feel alone don't you?"

"A bit, yeah"

"You're still young dear. You have a whole life ahead of you along with more chances to claim that prize" He explained "That's why improving yourself gets you a better chance. You're not human if you never fail a few times"

I thought about what he said, maybe he might be onto something. I mean, this is my first real team and my first season playing. I practiced hard, but there's always someone who practices harder, even though I hate Cooper's guts.

"You know, maybe you're right about that" I stood up "I mean, it's my first loss. I still have time to work hard and maybe next time my team and I could win!"

"That's the spirit!" He chuckles

"Thank you- uh- May I ask your name sir?" I nervously asked

"Names Hans" he answered

"Hans" I said to myself "Thank you Hans! Starting tomorrow I'm gonna start practicing harder than I ever had!" I thanked

"You remind me so much of Gordon" He smiles "I never caught your name dear"

"How rude of me!" I blushed from embarrassment "My name is Nairobi! But you can call me Nai for short!"

"Nairobi... what a beautiful name"

"Thanks" I giggle "I should probably get going. It was really nice meeting you! We should meet again!" I smiled as I grabbed my bag and stick

"If you ever want to talk, ask Gordon about me and I'll swing by the stadium"

"Thanks again Hans!" I smile as I waved goodbye.

That inspiring speech was exactly what I needed. Honestly, it felt like I was talking to dad. I quickly swing the door opened and shut it behind me as I took off my shoes and ran upstairs.

"Nai you're not gonna eat?" Mom called out from the kitchen

"Sorry mamá! Maybe later!" I called back

I grabbed a notebook and pencil as I started writing a schedule for my practices along with some things I need to improve on.

"Nai are you-"

"Perfect!" I smiled as I lifted up my notebook

"¿Qué pasa contigo? (What's going on with you?)" she asked in concern tone

"I'm gonna work hard starting tomorrow mamá!" I responded "It's just like Hans said, I have to work hard to get that prize!"

"Hans? Prize?" She repeated in confusion

"I-It's nothing!" I giggled

"You should come eat. Explain this prize and Hans for me" She smiles

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