Chapter 10

STEVE'S POV

She's gone. There's nothing left of her. Nothing but dust. "Mer," I mutter weakly, placing my hand on the ground where my wife stood seconds ago, desperately clinging to my embrace. My head hangs low as I fight the tears and my shoulders begin to shake. "No, please, no, not her, anyone but her."

My pleas fall on deaf ears. It's too late.

"Steve, Mer? Where are you guys? Are you two all right?" Nat's voice asks worriedly through the earpiece, but I can't respond.

I've never felt loss like this before. Not when I lost Anna, or Buck, or my parents.

She's gone.

"Steve!" I hear Natasha's voice from behind me, but I don't react at all. It's like I'm in my own world, completely oblivious to everything around me. As I stand, she puts a hand on my shoulder. When I don't react again, she circles around me. "You're alive! Why weren't you responding? I thought we lost you. We're trying to locate everyone who's left. Have you seen- oh, Steve."

The look in my eyes is enough of an answer for her. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly, rubbing my back gently. I hug her back, desperate for any form of comfort. Over the last two years, Nat has become like a sister to both of us. I know she's mourning, too. "I'm so sorry," she whispers. "You two don't deserve this."

It's not the two of us anymore. It's just me. "Thank you," I say, my voice cracking.

"I'm sorry, but we have to find the others. We're meeting up at the palace to see... to see who's still here."

I nod and do my best to pull myself together. Right now, I'm Captain America. That's who the world needs right now. Not heartbroken Steve Rogers. I'm the leader of the Avengers. Everyone else needs me. I'll take care of myself last. America always says I'm too selfless for my own good. Well, she used to say that...

"Who've you found so far?" I ask quietly as we trek through the woods and back onto the battlefield. Soldiers scramble around trying to locate friends and family, often failing. Occasional screams of loss pierce the air.

She sighs heavily. "I don't really know. No one was responding. Vision's dead, though. I... I found his body. Thanos got him before he snapped."

"What about Buck and Anna?"

"I don't know."

"Or Wanda and Pietro?"

"I don't know."

"Sam?" These people are my family. They're all I have left now.

"I really don't know, Steve. I'm sorry."

"I'm glad you're okay, Natasha." She gives me a tight smile

"You too."

Once we reach the palace, we're thankfully not alone. Nat throws her arms around Bruce, who has discarded his bulky suit. Rhodes and Okoye nod to me but doesn't rise from their seats. The raccoon is off to the side and completely ignores us. Thor raises his eyebrows at me in question, and I shake my head. He glances down in remorse.

"This is it?" I whisper, my voice catching in my throat. "Is everyone else...?" I can't finish the sentence.

"I don't know." Bruce rubs his forehead tiredly. No one knows anything, and that's the worst part. Uncertainty scares me more than the truth.

A familiar face appears in less than a second. Pietro frantically scans the group for either of his sisters without avail. I suppose I should be glad that he's alive, but the look on his face makes me wish he was gone, too, just so he wouldn't have to go through this. "This is all that's left of us?"

For a moment, I can't find the words. Then, I only find one. "Yeah."

------

Late that night, we finally arrive back home at the compound. No, not home. Home was wherever Mer was, wherever she smiled. I don't have a home anymore.

I pour myself a cup of black coffee while Nat makes a call. We're the last two up. Pietro went on a run hours ago and we haven't seen him since. Everyone else either hid to mourn privately or passed out from exhaustion.

I can't sleep. My mind won't shut down. I'd rather be awake and try to figure this out.

"Clint? Clint, are you there? Thank God," Natasha says from her spot curled up on the couch, eyes wide with worry. He's okay, she mouths to me before talking to him again. "I'm so glad you're alive, we were so... what? Clint, I am so, so sorry. Who... um, yeah, we lost a few... Sam, America, Wanda, Barnes, Tony, and Anna... we're um, we're holding up okay, I guess... only a few of us are still here... come back, we'll pull through this together... no, it's okay... I understand... it's really okay... bye."

She hangs up, unshed tears glistening in her eyes.

"How's Clint?"

"He's alive. But Thanos' snap wiped out his entire family. All of them, Steve. Laura, the kids. All gone."

"That's awful. Did you tell him to come here? He has a room and he shouldn't be alone right now."

Nat shakes her head. "He said no."

"I can't believe this," I say to no one in particular, but she's the only one to hear me anyway. "They can't be gone."

"I hate to say this, but unless we find a way to reverse it all, there's nothing we can do about it."

"Then we have to find a way to get them all back. There has to be a way."

"I don't think it's that simple." She sighs. "How are you holding up?"

"I have no idea." In the last twenty-four hours alone, I lost my best friends, my sister, and my wife. There's no way to handle that.

Natasha stands and wraps her arms around me, and I lean into her embrace, blinking rapidly so as to not break down. My efforts are in vain. The tears fall anyway.

"It's so unfair," I mutter. "She didn't deserve this. None of them deserved this."

"I know." Her eyes find mine before she gives me another hug. "I know."

I have nothing to say 😭😭😭