Dumb AF

Draco could see that Hermione's attention was now directed behind him, so he turned around right as Blaise Zabini walked up. Draco was watching from far away again. He heard the mumbles of voices around him but nothing comprehensible.

"Malfoy. Malfoy!" Hermione was tapping his shoulder, trying to get his attention.

Her touch brought him back to the present, and his eyes focused on Blaise who was now in front of him, a grin on his face.

"Malfoy!" Blaise greeted, flinging his hand into Draco's like they were still the best of friends and had not seen each other in years. "How have you been?"

Draco pulled away, sickened by the gesture. "Zabini," he nodded curtly. "I've been dandy. But, you should know that, right?"

Blaise's phoney smile vanished from his face like Draco slapped him. "Psh! Of course I know you're alright! I'm merely making conversation!" He glanced at Hermione, pointing at Draco like he was crazy.

Draco stared into Blaise's eyes. "Wait, Zabini, now that I think of it, I'm not so okay. You see, my wife, Astoria? Oh, my apologies, you know her as Story." He put a hand to his head like he made a huge mistake. "Sorry about that. Anyway, we got divorced. But wait! You already knew that, huh?"

Hermione went from confused at the look of Draco's blank eyes, to bewildered in about ten seconds.

"How does Blaise think he is going to get out of this one? And in front of Granger, no less."

Blaise was silent.

Sensing that he wouldn't respond, Draco spit out all he wanted to say.

"How about next time you have an affair with a married woman, you send a more competent owl. You know, one that can tell people apart. Oh and about Esther. You remember your wife, right? I hope she finds out about you and Astoria so she can have a chance at life without a fucktard like you."