A Word of Advice

Not good night. Bad night, awful night, those are better adjectives for what I go through sleeping alone for the night. Anything but good.

I don’t think I sleep solidly for more than ten minutes the entire night. I keep turning over, looking for the body that I’ve gotten so used to feeling next to mine.

I lay in bed for a while, trying to avoid getting up to face the day. I think I know what it means that I can’t sleep well without Patrick, but I don’t like the implications of it.

I don’t need him. I don’t need anyone. I only need me. Sure, I want him around and I like having him around, but I don’t need him. That has been true of everyone else before him, and it will be true of him too.

I yawn in complete contradiction of the lie I’m trying to tell myself.

I toss the covers back angrily, and dress to face the day. Last night was a fluke and I need to forget about it. I don’t need him to sleep well. I don’t need him.

As I head down the stairs I glance almost involuntarily towards the door of the room he stayed in last night. It’s wide open, none of his stuff inside. I push down on the knot of disappointment trying to form in my stomach.

See, he doesn’t need me either. There is no need involved here at all.

“I’m going insane,” I mutter, walking into the kitchen.

“Yeah, especially if you’re talking to yourself.” I jump, not having seen anyone when I walked in. “Sorry Jen, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No,” I say. “It’s fine I just didn’t see you. Thought you and Kailey wouldn’t be up yet.”

Jonathan shrugs, smirking. “She’s never up before noon if she can help it, and she’s nice and hung over today. She won’t be down here before twelve thirty, mumbling about how she hates the world and is going to kill me in my sleep for letting her drink that much.”

“Wow, she’s really lightening up then.” I joke.

“Oh absolutely,” he laughs. “So, this house is hangover central today. I’ve already got coffee going, or if you’re like your strange and lovable best friend, there’s orange juice in the fridge.”

“I forget,” I say, taking the offered coffee despite being hangover free. “Why does she seem to think orange juice cures hangovers?”

“Because she hates coffee and refuses to be wrong about anything,” he glances behind him for a second.

“Afraid she’s going to come and yell at you?” I mock.

He scoffs. “Hardly. Afraid she’s going to set the jersey I bought her on fire again for revenge. Yeah, that’s more like it.”

“Again?” I ask, only a little bit shocked.

He looks uncomfortable. “Apparently I’m ‘possessive’ and ‘inappropriate’ by buying her custom jerseys.”

This must be interesting. “She set one on fire?”

He nods. “Well,” I push. “What did it say?”

He blushes. “Uh, it said Toews’s Girl on the back.”

I’m laughing so hard I have to set my coffee down for fear I’ll drop and break the mug. “What did you think she’d do when you got her something like that?”

“I didn’t think she’d set it on fire.”

I shake my head at him. Poor boy, he’s so naïve.

“Hey, you didn’t set yours on fire,” he says. “I think it was a pretty safe bet that she wouldn’t either. I was wrong, but well, that’s life.”

I’m stuck on one word in those three sentences. “What do you mean ‘yours?’”

He wouldn’t. There is no way he would. Patrick couldn’t possibly have—

“You didn’t know he bought you a custom jersey?”

Oh he did. And he’s dead for it.

“He did what?”

Jonny flinches. “Inside voice. Some of us actually have a hangover in this room.”

I frown, but lower my voice. “Why would he buy me a custom jersey? Doesn’t he realize I already have one?”

“Because he likes you,” is his only answer. “And you don’t have this one trust me.”

“Tell me it doesn’t say Kane’s Girl on the back.”

There’s that uncomfortable look again. “Uh, ok, I’ll tell you that. But you can’t kill me later for lying.”

No, I won’t kill him. I don’t shoot the messenger. But the man sending the message is about to get a rude awakening.

“Where’s my boyfriend?” I ask, sounding far too calm for the emotions brewing inside me.

“Not telling,” he says. “Look, you’re about to go off and yell at him, but I’m going to give you some unwanted advice as to why that’s a bad idea.

“You two are really new in your relationship. You don’t have things settled yet, and you’re unsure about what you’re going to do in a few months when you start school again and it’s hockey season. You’re trying to pretend that you don’t need to worry about the future, because the future is sure.

“Kailey and I did that for a little while. It almost caused us to break up. When she set that jersey on fire—which was insane by the way did she learn that from you?—we ended up talking for hours after, and figuring out what was wrong with our relationship. And there was a lot of stuff wrong with it.

“She thought I was being possessive about us, but that’s not what it was at all. I was worried. We were always away from each other and I couldn’t know what she was doing. I trusted her, yeah, but why would she choose to date me when she could have someone who could be with her all the time? Someone who didn’t have a dangerous job? Someone who was her own age? It gave me a little peace of mind that she might wear the jersey, and people would know that she was serious about me.

“I think that’s what Patrick’s doing with you. He’s not totally comfortable in your relationship yet. I think the jersey is like mine was: a way to tell you he’s in it for the long haul and that he wants the world to know it too.”

Wow. I’m used to getting lectures from Kailey, but usually Jonathan’s the one keeping her out of it. I don’t think he’s ever given me advice on something. He’s never really seemed like he thought it was his place before. I guess now that it’s his best friend, he feels different.

“Thanks,” I tell him. “I mean it.”

“Anytime,” he replies.

“What are you thanking my boyfriend for?” A grumpy Kailey asks. “And do we have any orange juice? I need orange juice.”

I laugh and stand back, drinking my coffee and watching the happy couple interact. Despite their differences, despite being in the public eye and under more stress than I can even imagine, they’re happy. They obviously know what they’re doing.

Maybe I won’t turn down the jersey after all. If it leads to this, I think I can handle it.

A/N: Hey guys! I know it's been a while sorry about that. So what are you all thinking about Kanifer? I love them personally. And Jailey are so cute (but sadly no one ships this in real life sigh) (it's cool though people ship Kyler which is fun) what do you think of Jailey? Ok well, let me know how you liked this update :) vote and comment if you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!