Part 20 - Is This Really Happening?

It's been a few more days and I haven't had any interactions with Downey thankfully. I also haven't had a normal conversation with Malcolm either. I'm confused and it shows. At least I've put a lot of thought into it.

Do I want to have a normal healthy relationship? Yes.

Can I have that with Malcolm? Yes.

Do I want to give us a chance? Yes.

Am I in a position to be in an actual relationship at the moment? No.

I get out of my cave these last days (aka my office) and go over to the kitchen to fill my last cup of coffee for the day. I'm not there for more than two minutes before I see Malcolm coming in. My stomach tightens for a second but I cover it with a smile and a sigh.

"Well, hello" he says happily.

"Hey" I reply.

"Are you busy? I was hoping that maybe we could have a talk" he says shyly.

"No, I'm free now" I nod.

"Do you want to come by my office when you're done with your coffee?"

"You know what? I don't even need another cup of coffee"

"Okay, come with me then?" he says between a question and a statement.

I nod and follow him to his office. When we both get in he shuts the door and we both sit on a small couch he has. There are a few moments of awkwardness but he's the first one to speak and break the silence.

"Look" he says catching my attention.

"I noticed how you've been avoiding me lately" he sighs.

"Malcolm, I-" I start saying but he interrupts me.

"I totally understand it. I made things awkward with what I said, please let's just forget about this and go back to normal" he sounds remorseful.

"Don't say that" I sigh and look at my hands.

"It's all my fault, I'm confused and can't figure out what to do or say" I continue.

"This is what I mean. I don't want us to lose our friendship over this. It's fine if you can't see me that way, we can still be friends" he says kindly.

"It's not that I can't see you that way" I exhale desperately and he looks at me.

"You can?" he asks surprised.

"Yes" I reply and the slightest of grins appears on his lips.

"What's the problem then?" he seems now confused.

"I'll probably end up hurting you" I say, knowing that I can't explain to him more.

"That's ridiculous, why would you say that?" he chuckles.

"I'm not ready for a relationship at the moment, I just got out of a really weird phase with someone and I'm afraid I'm going to screw things up with you" I say and bite my lip nervously.

"I don't know what you went through and I'm sad it's haunted you so much but I understand you. We don't have to go all official and rush into this. If you actually want this we can take things slow or I can even wait for you for as long as you need" he says softly and holds my hand in his.

"You'd really do that for me?" I ask smiling.

"Which one?" he chuckles.

"Wait for me" I laugh.

"Yes, I would. Because I know you're worth it" he smiles at me and I'm sure I'm blushing like it's the first time someone compliments me.

"Then I suppose we could do the thing you suggested" I smile playfully looking at him.

"Of course, I'll wait for as long as you need" he seems so happy.

"Actually I meant the other thing you said" I say and bite my lip.

"What other thing?" he asks a little bit confused.

"About taking things slow" I explain and his face lights up by the second.

"Are you serious?" he asks excited.

"I think so" I laugh.

"Does that mean I can kiss you right now?" he asks smiling nicely at me.

"Yes, it does" I reply giggling.

He wastes no time and softly presses his lips against mine. It's a gentle kiss that lasts for a good amount of seconds. It's soft, tender, sweet, nothing like the kisses I've had lately with Downey. His hand is carefully on my cheek during the kiss and his thump is softly caressing it. When we pasrt our lips we take a second to look at each other with childish smiles on our faces.

"I'm so glad I got to kiss you again" he says.

"Stop it, I'm not good at handling compliments" I giggle again.

"I can see that on your red cheeks" he chuckles.

"I can't help it" I shake my head.

"It's fine, I find your blushing cute"

"What did I just say about compliments?" I joke.

"I'm on a roll now, you can't stop me" he laughs.

"Whatever, I have to go either way. Someone might be looking for me back in my office" I say.

"Alright" he nods and we both stand up.

We head to the door and before we open it he holds my hands and looks me in the eyes.

"I'm here in case you need to talk about the guy that's messed you up, I'm more than happy to teach him a lesson" he says playfully.

"Let's not talk about him, ever. He was bad for me and I can't really tell you much about him" I sigh, hoping that he'll agree.

"Okay, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable" he nods.

"So, I'll see you later then" I smile.

"Yeah" he smiles back.

I open the door slightly but before I get out he pulls me in for a quick tender kiss. We smile at one another and then hold hands softly until I get out of his office. I lean my back against the door when I close it behind me and have a happy smile on my lips. I actually feel happy I cleared things out with Malcolm and feel confident about us taking things slow.

Is this really happening? Am I happy and thinking about a guy that's not Downey after so long? We've been friends for a long time but I'm willing to believe we could work romantically. I just hope we'll be a Chandler and Monica kind of couple and not a Rachel and Joey one. Friends that end up dating can go either way.

My smile immediately disappears when I spot Downey down the hall looking straight at me. I'm not joking when I say his stare is painful. I feel like he's staring into my soul, not in a nice way but like he's reminding me of all my sins. He seems really pissed at something.

Could this be about me and Malcolm? Could he have seen us kissing from back there? I can't know and it's not in my interest to find out.

I look back at him for a couple of seconds but then I take a deep breath and turn around to walk back to my office. I'm done with Downey for good and I made that clear with him. He got the message and now he'll finally leave me alone.

Or at least that's what I hope he'll do.

A/NI actually meant to post this yesterday but I forgot🤭🤭