ch.5

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The whole week had been hell.

Helen barely left her room, barely touched her phone. She ignored calls, ignored texts—especially from Javon.

Every time she saw his name pop up on her screen, a wave of guilt crashed over her. She couldn't face him. Not after what happened. Not when she felt like this.

Like she was dirty.

Like she was used.

Like she was nothing but a mistake.

She sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the unread messages.

Javon: Helen, talk to me.Javon: Please don’t do this.Javon: I just wanna know you're okay.Javon: I miss you.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tossed her phone onto the bed.

A part of her wanted to answer. Wanted to let him hold her again, let him tell her everything was okay, let him make her feel safe again.

But she couldn’t.

Because deep down, she didn’t believe she deserved it.

Friday Afternoon

Helen sat on the couch, scrolling mindlessly through her phone, trying to feel normal again. She wore a blue crop top with black jean shorts, white Nike socks pulled up to her calves, her hair slicked back into a ponytail.

She was just about to get up and grab something to drink when she heard it—

A knock at the door.

Her stomach dropped.

She already knew who it was.

For a second, she debated ignoring it. But then came another knock—louder this time.

"Helen, open the door."

She froze.

Javon.

Her hands curled into fists. She hadn’t seen him since that night. She wasn’t ready. But knowing Javon, he wasn’t leaving until she faced him.

Taking a shaky breath, she forced herself up and walked to the door.

She hesitated before opening it.

There he was.

Javon stood there, his face unreadable, wearing a black t-shirt and sweats, his chain resting against his chest. But his eyes—those deep, brown eyes—were filled with something that made her throat tighten.

Concern. Frustration. And something else…

Pain.

He stared at her for a moment before exhaling. “So you are alive.”

Helen crossed her arms, looking away. “I don’t wanna do this right now.”

“Tough,” he said, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “Because I do.”

Helen let out an annoyed breath, turning away from him. “Javon, just go—”

“No.” His voice was sharp, firm. “Not until you tell me why the fuck you’ve been ignoring me all week.”

Her jaw clenched. She felt his eyes burning into her, but she kept her back to him.

“I just needed space.”

“Bullshit.”

She tensed.

“You needed space from me?” he asked. “The same me that held you while you cried? The same me that fucking beat that dude unconscious for what he did to you?”

Helen swallowed hard. “Javon, please—”

“No, you don’t get to shut me out.” He walked up behind her, his voice quieter now, but still full of emotion. “Not after what we’ve been through.”

Her eyes burned.

“I can’t, Javon,” she whispered.

“Why not?”

She sucked in a shaky breath before turning around, finally looking at him.

“Because I feel like a fucking slut, Javon,” she snapped, her voice breaking. “I feel disgusting. I feel like no matter how much I shower, no matter how much I try to act normal, I still feel him on me.”

Javon’s whole body went rigid. His fists clenched at his sides, his jaw tightening like he was trying to keep himself together.

“Helen,” he said, his voice softer now, but just as serious. “That wasn’t your fault.”

She shook her head, letting out a bitter laugh. “Then why does it feel like it was?”

“Because your mind is lying to you,” he said. “Because that motherfucker took something from you and made you feel like you’re the one to blame. But you’re not.”

Helen looked away, her arms wrapping around herself. “I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to stop feeling like this.”

Javon exhaled, stepping closer. “You don’t have to fix it alone.”

She felt his fingers under her chin, gently tilting her face back up. When she met his eyes, she felt her walls start to crack.

“You are not dirty,” he said, slow and firm, like he needed her to believe it. “You are not weak. And you sure as hell aren’t a fucking slut.”

Her lip trembled.

Javon ran a thumb across her cheek, catching a tear she hadn’t even realized had fallen.

“You’re Helen.” His voice was barely above a whisper now. “And you’re still my Helen. No matter what.”

That was it.

The last piece of her resistance shattered, and before she could stop herself, she threw herself into his arms.

Javon caught her immediately, wrapping her up tight.

She sobbed into his chest, clutching onto him like he was the only thing keeping her from falling apart completely.

And maybe he was.

Maybe, just maybe… she didn’t have to do this alone.

---

Helen gripped onto Javon’s hoodie, her body shaking as she let the tears fall freely. He held her tight, his arms wrapped securely around her like he was afraid to let go.

She needed this. She needed him.

After a long moment, she pulled back just enough to look at him. Her face was damp, her lips trembling, but Javon’s hands stayed on her waist, steadying her.

His eyes searched hers, deep and warm, filled with so much emotion it made her heart ache.

“I don’t know how to do this,” she whispered.

Javon lifted a hand, brushing his knuckles softly against her cheek. “Then let me help you.”

Her breath hitched.

Slowly, his hand trailed down to her jaw, his fingers tilting her chin up slightly. Her pulse quickened, her skin burning under his touch.

“Helen,” he murmured, his voice rough. “Tell me to stop, and I will.”

She didn’t.

Instead, she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his.

Javon sucked in a sharp breath against her mouth before melting into her, his hands sliding to her hips as he pulled her closer.

The kiss was slow at first—gentle, careful, like he was making sure she was okay. But Helen didn’t want careful.

She wanted him.

She curled her fingers into his hoodie, deepening the kiss, pouring all her emotions—her fear, her pain, her longing—into it.

Javon responded instantly, his grip on her tightening. His hands roamed up her sides, fingertips ghosting over the skin beneath her crop top, leaving a trail of heat in their wake.

Helen shivered, gasping softly as he pulled her onto his lap.

Their lips moved together in perfect sync, desperate but unhurried, like they had all the time in the world.

Javon broke away first, his forehead resting against hers, their breaths heavy.

“I got you,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of her lips. “I’ll always have you.”

Helen swallowed hard, her heart swelling.

For the first time in a week, she didn’t feel dirty. She didn’t feel broken.

She felt safe.

And she knew, as long as she had Javon, she always would be.

---

Wanna✔️(pretend it's javon and Helen for the sake of the book plss)

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The next morning, Helen woke up feeling… different.

She wasn’t okay, not yet. But for the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel alone.

Javon had stayed with her all night, holding her, kissing her forehead, reminding her in quiet whispers that she was not broken.

But reality hit as soon as she walked downstairs.

Her dad—Marshall—was waiting in the kitchen, arms crossed, looking pissed.

Javon was already sitting at the table, his jaw clenched, his foot tapping impatiently against the floor.

And, of course, Ariana was there too, sitting on the counter, sipping her iced coffee, already grinning like she lived for drama.

Helen sighed. Here we go.

She sat across from Javon, crossing her arms. “What’s this about?”

Marshall’s glare snapped to her. “You know exactly what this is about.” His voice was calm—too calm, the kind of calm that came right before a storm. “You’ve been avoiding me all week. And now I find out that you had him”—he gestured at Javon—“sneaking into your room all night?”

Helen’s stomach twisted, but she kept her expression blank. “I wasn’t sneaking him in,” she muttered.

“Oh, so you’re just letting him sleep in your bed now? Without telling me?”

Ariana let out a quiet “Oop,” sipping her drink.

Helen shot her a glare before turning back to her dad. “I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d act like this.”

“Act like what? Like a father who actually gives a fuck what his daughter is doing?” Marshall’s voice was rising now. “Because I do give a fuck Helen. I gave a fuck when I saw those cameras rolling while you cried yourself to sleep. I gave a fuck when you ignored me for a week. And I definitely give a fuck when I find out you’ve been alone with this boy after everything that happened.”

Helen’s chest tightened. “You don’t get it.”

“Oh, I get it,” he shot back. “I get that you think you’re grown. I get that you think you don’t have to answer to me.”

“Because I don’t!” Helen snapped, standing up so fast the chair scraped against the floor. “You’re acting like I did something wrong when I just needed someone to be there for me!”

“I was there for you,” Marshall said, his voice quieter but just as intense. “But you shut me out. Instead, you run to him?”

Javon, who had been silent this whole time, finally spoke. “With all due respect, sir, Helen can choose who she trusts.”

Marshall’s eyes snapped to him, his expression darkening. “And you think that’s you?”

“Yes,” Javon said without hesitation. “Because I didn’t judge her. I didn’t make her feel worse than she already did. I was just there.”

Marshall let out a humorless laugh. “You think I’m making her feel worse?”

Helen clenched her fists. “You are.”

Silence.

Ariana widened her eyes, whispering a dramatic “Damn.”

Marshall’s jaw tensed. “So now I’m the bad guy for being worried about you?”

“You’re the bad guy for not listening to me,” Helen shot back. “You keep acting like I’m some reckless little girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing, but I do.”

“Helen—”

“No, you listen to me for once!” she yelled, her voice shaking. “I was violated, Dad. I was hurt. And the last thing I needed was to be treated like a fucking child who can’t think for herself.”

Marshall went silent, his expression unreadable.

Ariana, at this point, was loving the mess, scrolling on her phone like she was live-tweeting the whole thing.

Helen’s breathing was heavy, her hands trembling at her sides.

Finally, Marshall exhaled, rubbing a hand over his face. “You’re right,” he muttered. “I don’t listen. And maybe I don’t know how to handle this the way I should.”

Helen’s throat tightened.

“But you’re still my daughter,” he continued, his voice softer now. “And whether you like it or not, I’m still gonna protect you. Even from yourself.”

Helen swallowed hard, glancing at Javon. He gave her a small nod, as if to say I’m still here.

She sighed, rubbing her temples. “Can we just… not do this right now?”

Marshall sighed too, nodding. “Fine.”

The tension was still thick in the air, but at least the yelling had stopped.

Ariana hopped off the counter, stretching. “Whew, that was better than reality TV.”

Helen groaned. “Ariana, please—”

“Nah, for real, y’all argue like a damn soap opera.” She took one last sip of her drink before grabbing her bag. “I’ma head out before y’all start throwing shit.”

Helen rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips.

Javon reached under the table and squeezed her hand.

And for now… that was enough.

---

The tension from the argument with her dad was still lingering in the air when a sudden knock at the door made Helen groan.

She had just started to relax.

Ariana, who was halfway out the door, paused and turned back with an amused look. “Oh, this day just keeps getting better.”

Helen rolled her eyes before walking over and yanking the door open.

And there he was.

David.

His arms were crossed, his expression full of annoyance and something else—something almost smug, like he wanted to start something.

Helen immediately sighed, already irritated. “What the fuck do you want?”

David scoffed, stepping forward. “So you can ignore my texts, but you got this dude sneaking into your house like a lost fucking puppy?” He nodded toward Javon, who was still sitting at the table, now watching him with narrowed eyes.

Helen’s jaw clenched. “First of all, nobody is sneaking in. And second, why the hell are you even here?”

“Because we need to talk,” David said, his voice sharp. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you lately, but it’s like you’re a completely different person.”

Helen let out a bitter laugh. “Oh, I’m different? Maybe it’s because I’ve actually been through some shit, David.”

“I get that, but damn, Helen, you don’t even talk to me anymore! And now you’re acting like he’s—” he pointed at Javon—“some kind of fucking hero.”

Helen immediately stepped forward, her eyes flashing. “Watch your fucking mouth.”

David rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying, you really think he’s got your best interests at heart? He’s just here for the attention—”

“The fuck did you just say?”

Javon’s voice was calm. Too calm.

Helen barely had time to react before he was standing up, stepping next to her, his entire body tense.

David smirked. “Oh, look, the tough guy finally speaks.”

Helen put a hand on Javon’s chest, feeling the way his heartbeat had picked up. She knew that look in his eyes—he was ready to swing.

“You don’t know shit about him,” Helen snapped at David. “So keep his name out of your fucking mouth.”

David let out a mocking laugh. “Damn, Helen, you defending him like that? What, he got you brainwashed now?”

That was it.

Without thinking, Helen slapped him.

Hard.

The sound echoed through the house, and David stumbled back, holding his face.

“Fuck,” he muttered, blinking in shock.

Javon let out a low chuckle. “That’s what you get for talking outta your ass.”

David glared at both of them before shaking his head. “You know what? Y’all deserve each other.” He turned to leave, muttering under his breath, “Dumbass.”

Javon lunged.

Helen grabbed his arm before he could swing. “Javon, no.”

He exhaled sharply, his muscles still tense, but he listened.

David shot them one last glare before storming off, slamming the door behind him.

Ariana, who had been watching the whole thing like it was the best movie she’d ever seen, let out a slow whistle. “Damn, Helen, remind me never to get on your bad side.”

Helen took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions.

Javon, still pissed, ran a hand over his face. “That dude’s a fucking joke.”

“He’s not worth it,” Helen muttered.

Javon turned to her, his expression softening just a little. “You good?”

She nodded, even though she wasn’t entirely sure if it was true.

Javon sighed before pulling her into his arms. “I swear, people don’t know when to shut the fuck up.”

Helen let out a small laugh against his chest. “Tell me about it.”

Ariana grinned. “Well, that was entertaining.” She raised her drink. “To toxic exes getting humbled.”

Helen groaned, but she couldn’t help but laugh.

At least, for now, the drama was over.

---

Helen let out a long breath as she leaned into Javon’s embrace. Her heart was still racing from the argument, and her hand stung from slapping David, but damn… it felt good.

Javon rubbed her back gently, his jaw still clenched in frustration. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” she muttered, but even she didn’t believe it.

Ariana, still sipping her drink like she was at a damn movie premiere, sighed dramatically. “Y’all need to stop stressin’ my girl out. First her dad, now this dusty-ass ex? Let her breathe.”

Helen let out a small laugh, but the truth was, she still felt uneasy.

Javon must’ve noticed, because he pulled back and looked her in the eyes. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.”

Ariana smirked. “Oop—”

Helen rolled her eyes but didn’t argue. She needed to be away from everyone, away from the cameras, and just… breathe.

As she and Javon headed upstairs, she heard Ariana mumble, “If y’all start making out, at least leave the door open so I can eavesdrop.”

“BYE, ARIANA,” Helen called over her shoulder.

Javon chuckled as they walked into her room, shutting the door behind them.

She sat on her bed, exhaling heavily. “I hate this shit.”

Javon sat beside her, pulling her legs over his lap. “I know. But you handled yourself.”

Helen scoffed. “I slapped the shit out of him.”

Javon grinned. “And it was beautiful.”

Despite everything, she laughed. “You’re such an instigator.”

“I’m just saying,” he smirked. “Dude had it coming.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder, exhaustion hitting her all at once. “Why does everything have to be so fucking complicated?”

Javon sighed, rubbing slow circles on her thigh. “Because life’s a bitch.”

Helen let out a small hum of agreement.

For a while, they just sat there in comfortable silence. She could hear the muffled sound of Ariana talking downstairs, probably being messy as usual.

Javon finally spoke. “You know I’m proud of you, right?”

Helen tilted her head to look at him. “For what?”

“For standing up for yourself,” he said softly. “For not letting your dad, or David, or anybody try to control you.”

Her chest tightened.

She knew Javon was always in her corner, but hearing him say it like that—like it actually mattered—made her eyes sting.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Thanks.”

He studied her for a moment before cupping her cheek. “You sure you’re okay?”

Helen hesitated.

She wasn’t okay. Not really.

But with Javon here, looking at her like she wasn’t broken, like she was still her—it made her feel just a little bit stronger.

She leaned in and kissed him.

It was slow, soft, like she was grounding herself in him.

Javon kissed her back, his hands warm against her skin, steadying her.

When they pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers. “No matter what happens, I got you.”

Helen exhaled.

“I know.”

---

Thank you so much for reading ilyy💘💘💘