Chapter 70 - Taking A Step Back

My throat is dry and I feel breathless and exhausted as I push forward, stumbling on my feet with a leg that sears with pain. I've been walking for an hour and half now, knowing that if I don't stop soon I'll pass out. My feet are aching and my lungs hurt, the cold of the night coming in with brutal force. I've taken down a few walkers on the way, not having to use the gun that Dwight gave me just yet.

I can't help but let my mind run through what he said to me, about his wife and his owing to Daryl. I haven't trusted him, taking Daryl's word for what it was. But now that I've heard what Dwight had to say, maybe I've judged him too quickly. But what has really thrown a spanner in the works is Negan. What he did, he said, I've been playing it over and over in my mind like a record stuck on repeat.

There's no way in hell that I feel anything besides hatred towards the man, not after everything that he's done to us. But perhaps this set back has shown me a different side to him, showing me that he has at least some set of morals in there, some code that he follows. There's more to him than meets the eye, and I'm not sure how to take it.

"You doing okay?"

I snap back into reality and look forward, seeing the light from camp up ahead. The voice I hear is so familiar and close, further away from the camp as it carries across the wind.

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. Victory right? Woo hoo." Another familiar voice answers, their tone sarcastic.

"Feels wrong, we're here with our beef stew and creamed corn, living it up as much as you can these days... And Bree and Sasha..." Another voice trails off, their tone sad.

"I don't even want to think about that." The second voice says quietly and I push myself towards them, struggling to make it to them.

"You need to stop thinking about it Eric, that'll help you. Help us all. Whatever is happening to them both right now, that's what we're fighting against." The first voice says and I recognise it to be Aaron's.

"You're all heart Aaron." The second voice says and I realise it is Heath.

Their voices are slow close now and I will myself to go just that little bit further but I can't and I fall to the ground, my scraped up palms sliding in the dew on the grass. I stay there, trying to catch my breath as they continue to speak, "Just think about the days on the other side of this, where we can get back to worrying about just the dead coming after us." Aaron states.

"Oh won't that be a glorious time." Heath mutters.

"It's always about the bright side with you. And these days, the bright side can be pretty damned dull." Eric states.

A groaning meets my ears and I turn and see a couple of walkers making their way towards me. I try to shuffle away from them as I grab at my knife. One of the walkers falls on top of me and I let out a cry, lifting my arm to go stab it in the head. The walker makes a sudden movement and knocks the knife out of my hand. I let out a frustrated cry and try to push it away but soon the other comes for me. I hold them back as best I can but they are stronger than me in my weakened state.

Their teeth inch closer and closer to my skin when all of a sudden they're pulled off of me. I look up and see Eric and Aaron taking down the walkers as Heath kneels over the top of me.

"Bree, are you okay?" He asks, lifting me up into a sitting position.

I hiss at the pain in my leg and Eric looks down at my leg, "Her leg, she's hurt!"

"We need to get her to Daryl and Rick right away." Aaron insists, keeping an eye out for walkers.

Heath pulls my arm around his neck and slips his arms under my knees and around my back. He lifts me up and adjusts me before turning to the other two, "Let's go."

They move quickly and I rest my head against Heath's shoulder, my eyes lazily looking ahead of me. We soon reach the edge of camp and we weave our way amongst the buses. Soon I hear the babble of people that soon turns to gasps and whispers. Up ahead I see Rick, Daryl, Michonne, Glenn, Jesus and Ezekiel standing around a table, looking down at something.

"Daryl! Rick!" I hear Aaron call out loudly.

They all look up and their eyes widen at the sight. Daryl rushes forward towards me instantly, "Bree!"

Heath slows down as Daryl stops in front of us, "What happened?" He demands.

"We heard someone crying out and saw her being attacked by two walkers." Heath explains as he transfers me over to Daryl's arms.

"Michonne, go get Rosita." Rick instructs and the woman runs off.

"It's okay, I've got you." Daryl says, walking me over to a tent.

He settles me down on a bed and they all soon begin to crowd around me, "Water... Please." I whisper.

I see Glenn rush off as Rick kneels down beside me, "Are you okay?" He asks.

"My leg..." I mumble and Glenn comes forward, holding out a bottle of water.

Daryl takes it and undoes the lid before helping me sit up. He takes a seat behind me and I lean into his side as I take a long drink from the bottle. It's so refreshing and cool for my parched throat. I pull the bottle away and I see Jesus step forward with a blanket in his hand, "She's shivering, use this to warm her up."

Rick takes the blanket and unfolds it, placing it around me and Daryl tucks it in. The flap to the tent opens and Michonne and Rosita come in. Ezekiel, Glenn and Jesus move back and Rick moves aside to let Rosita take a look at my leg.

I wince at her touch as she probes at the wound, "Puncture wound is small, no exit wound. There's also no infection, it seems to have been treated. I'll go grab the medical kit." She says quickly before getting to her feet and walking out of the tent.

"Bree, what happened?" Rick asks and I turn to look at him.

"Daryl and I were heading to the bus and we saw Tara was hurt. Daryl and Rosita took her to the bus and I was rolling them, when I saw Sasha running towards you. I went to go after her when I got shot in the leg, a bolt from Daryl's crossbow and I was knocked out." I say and I notice Daryl's jaw clench at the information.

"Then what happened?" Ezekiel asks.

"I woke up not too long later beside Sasha and we were brought into this room, all these saviours and Negan questioning us. He believed that if he got Sasha and I, then he could get to the both of you." I explain, looking between Daryl and Rick.

"Why Sasha?" Glenn asks with a confused look.

"He mistook Sasha for Michonne. He wanted to take their woman to break them. He was pissed to find out he got the wrong woman." I state.

"Where's Sasha now?" Michonne asks.

I shake my head, "She's still there. We got separated into different cells and then I got moved after..." I trail off and I see Ezekiel's face become upset about Sasha.

"How'd you get out?" Jesus asks, looking down at me with concerned eyes.

I lick my lips before I answer, "Dwight helped me escape. We didn't have time to go back for Sasha."

I feel Daryl tense up and Ezekiel speaks, "Ahh, it seems our half faced friend is sticking to his side of the deal. That is good, it means he is still working with us."

"Just because he helped her escape?" Daryl asks, anger being his underlying tone.

"He said he was working with us, he's proven it by letting her go and saving her life." Jesus says, gesturing to me.

"That doesn't prove his loyalty." Glenn argues.

"Yeah, but it's one step forward." Michonne murmurs.

Rick looks around at the small group before turning back and looking at me, "Did anything else happen?" He asks.

I feel a nagging feeling in my stomach as I think of Negan, but something holds me back from telling it to the whole group. They wouldn't believe it anyway, saying it was a ruse or confusion due to my hormones. Instead I shake my head, "No, that's all."

"What about Sasha?" Ezekiel asks, turning to Rick.

Rick shakes his head as he stares towards the ground in thought, "I don't know, like I was saying before it's going to be too difficult to get in there with all the walkers surrounding the place. We can't just go in there and make a break for her."

"It's not like we can just leave her in there, God knows what those animals are doing to her in there." Glenn suggests, disgust in his voice that implies a sexual connotation.

"They aren't raping her if that's what you think. Negan doesn't allow that." I say, for some strange reason feeling like I have to clarify that.

"What makes you so sure about that?" He responds and I remain quiet for a moment before I speak, "I just know."

I feel hard eyes on me from all directions at my words and thats when the flap to the tent opens and Rosita walks back in with the medical kit in hand. Rick eyes me for a moment longer before turning and looking at the others, "We should give Bree some space, allow her some time to rest. We should go back to strategising."

They all nod their heads, making their way out of the tent. Daryl moves out from underneath me and looks me in the eye, "We need to talk later." He states, a seriousness in his voice and I know that he knows I'm hiding something.

I nod my head weakly and he kneels down, placing a kiss on my forehead quickly before turning and following his way out to the others. I know I'm in for a long and difficult conversation, but for now I'm exhausted and will use this time to get some much needed rest.

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I slowly wake up and open my eyes, looking around dazed for a moment. My eyes meet his and a small smile comes to my face. He sits down in a chair beside me, his teeth chewing on his thumbnail as his eyes remained locked on mine.

"What time is it?" I ask groggily, shifting in the bed.

"It's some time around three." He states with a flat voice.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" I ask and he remains silent.

I look at him for a long moment before reaching down and grabbing the water bottle, taking a long sip of the cool drink. His eyes remain locked on my movements and I know he's waiting for answers. I screw the cap back onto the bottle and place it down before I speak, "Go ahead."

"What happened there Bree? Really." He asks, leaning forward in his seat.

I gather my thoughts as I sit up in bed, "After I was captured, we were taken and questioned by Negan and the saviours. It didn't last to long before we were taking to the holding cells. They bound me and left me in the dark cell."

The dark imagery fills my mind as I think, "I don't know how long I was in there, it couldn't have been more than a few hours but it felt a whole lot longer than that."

I turn away from him and down at my fingers that knot together nervously, "Some guy came in, said Negan sent him to come in and check on me... It soon became apparent that that wasn't the case."

In the corner of my eye I see his hands ball up into fists as the rest of his body becomes rigid with tension, "It didn't get very far before he was interrupted, Negan coming in to check up on me."

I remain quiet for a moment, the bizarreness of the situation still so foreign to me, "He killed him, without a moment's hesitation. It was over before I knew, blood spilt over the two of us. Then he unbound me, gave me the shirt off of his back and allowed me to redress myself. I swear, it was a side of him that I didn't know existed. He was kind, caring, nothing like the Negan we've encountered at all."

I turn and look at Daryl, who eyes are filled with a mixture of relief and anger, "He saved me Dare. And I never thought I would say this, but in that moment I was grateful to him."

He doesn't say anything, lost in his own thoughts as he tries to process what I've told him. I sit up and lean forward, keeping my eyes on him as he thinks.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" I ask after a couple of minutes.

He looks at me for a moment, looking perplexed, "When I saw that you were missing, so many things were running through my mind. I was scared, I was horrified, but mostly I was mad. At you."

"Me?" I ask, becoming confused.

He shakes his head, "You can't go pulling shit like this anymore Bree. You can't just go charging in without thinking of the consequences anymore. You have more than just you to consider now."

"I know that-" I begin but he cuts me off, "You don't Bree, you can't be out here. It's not safe and we've both seen how much danger you're really in. I'm not going to let you risk your life anymore, not for this shit. I'm not going to lose you, I can't lose you."

I remain quiet, knowing that he needs to get all of this out, "I was ready to go in there guns blazing to get you back. Rick, Glenn, Jesus... They had to hold me back, make me think rationally. When it comes to you, I don't think rationally. When you are in danger, all I know is to get you back to safety. Even if it is a risk to me."

He takes a deep breath before looking me right in the eye, "I can't do that anymore, I can't make anymore stupid decisions like I've done these past few months. I need to be able to think more rationally, to be able to not just charge in and get myself or you killed. Today showed me that. Though I wanted to go and get you, I knew it would have gotten us killed. I can't lose you Bree, I really can't."

I lean forward and take his hands in mine, "I know, today made me realise that too. I mean I'm pregnant for God's sake, I can't go doing shit like that."

Dwight's words come back to me from earlier and I tilt my head to the side, "Do you want to know why Dwight saved me? It's not just because of his alliance to this cause... It was because of you."

His eyebrows crease in confusion but I continue to speak, "The things he's done, he isn't proud of it. When you found him in the forest, you saved him and his wife. He never forgot that. It's going to sound strange and wrong, but killing Denise instead of you, shooting you to save you from being picked by Negan, saving me tonight... They were all ways to repay you for helping him and his wife in the forest."

I give a small shrug of my shoulders, "They're unconventional and wrong, but that was the only way he could do it. He is grateful for the chance that you gave him and his wife, I know he is. And that made me realise that I have to really think about what I do. Because it isn't just me anymore, I have you and the baby. I have to keep you both in mind, make sure that you're safe. Be smart for the both of you."

I glance down at the ground for a second before meeting his eyes once more, "Michonne is heading home in the morning with Tara, I'm going to go with them. To rest up my leg as well as getting me out of the danger here. It's time I start thinking like a mother."

His eyes are filled with emotion, but something unreadable. I try to decipher it, but it's not something that I can do. He leans his head down and lift my hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss on my knuckles. I smile and give his hand a gentle squeeze. He lifts his head up and I see the circles under his eyes, my man looking exhausted.

I let go of his hands and shuffle over before lifting the blanket up, "Come and get some rest, you're gonna need it."

He looks at me tiredly before pushing out of the chair and stepping over. He climbs into the small cot beside me and lays on his side like me, making enough room for the both of us. I nestle my head against his chest and close my eyes. A yawn overcomes me and he pulls me close, a kiss being placed in my hair. We both breathe deeply and soon I feel sleep begin to take over. There's nothing like moments like these, being in the safety of the arms of the man I love. Safe, warm and content. That's all I could ever ask for.