| Chapter Twenty-Three |

After failing at trying to sleep, Seunghyun gave up and got up earlier than he would have on any other day, even a work day. He ended up making some coffee and sitting on his terrace, not that the fresh air and caffeine would take his mind off of anything. Jiyong was still asleep in the guest bedroom at this hour, the same exact place Seunghyun had put him when they had returned home the previous night.

He could still see Jiyong's swollen and red eyes, his tear-stained cheeks, and the look of hopelessness in his eyes. He blamed himself for a lot of it. He just hoped time would start to heal some of the wounds his lie left behind.

A knock on the front door took him out of his mental trance. Seunghyun stood up from his seat and downed the last few drops of coffee in his cup before he walked over to answer the door. He was surprised to see a familiar face standing outside of his door, looking apprehensive.

"Can I help you?" Seunghyun asked slowly, stretching out each word.

"Um...well...I was kind of hoping that I could help you actually," Hanbin said, his physical demeanor clearly showing how nervous he was. "I-I'm Hanbin, a friend of Jiyong's. I was here before when--"

"Yeah, I remember," Seunghyun said, quickly cutting him off before he could say anything else. "So, what exactly are you here to help me with?"

"Jiyong, I-I guess," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sure he's probably still upset about everything, so I was thinking I could talk to him if you wanted me to...I-I mean, if you would let me."

Seunghyun considered his offer, thinking it would be good for Jiyong to talk to someone he trusted even if it didn't help his own personal case in the end. "Yeah, that's fine, you can come in," he said as he opened the door wider, stepping back a little so that Hanbin could walk through.

"Thank you," the boy said timidly as he stepped inside.

"Um, do you want anything to eat or drink?" Seunghyun asked as he quietly shut the door.

Hanbin turned around and shook his head. "No, I'm okay. Thank you, though," he answered, shaking his head. Seunghyun nodded and walked over to the coffee pot to pour himself some more coffee. "Speaking of Jiyong," he started, immediately earning Seunghyun's attention, "h-has he come back yet? Dongguk and I...well mostly me, have been looking for him and trying to call."

"He left his phone here when he left, so that's probably why he didn't answer," Seunghyun said as he shifted around completely, pressing the low of his back against the counter's edge. "But yeah, I found him. He was at the bus stop I picked him up at oddly enough. I'm surprised I got him back with me at all." Hanbin's head shot up at the elder male's words, his eyes glistening in hope.

"Oh thank god." Hanbin sighed in relief, letting his shoulders sink down. "I was beginning to think he was gone for good this time. Is he okay?" 

"He didn't seem like it honestly," Seunghyun said much to Hanbin's dismay. "He's still asleep back in the guest room if you want to go see him. I don't know when he'll wake up."

Hanbin was just about to agree eagerly when the sound of a door clicking open caused both of them to turn their heads in the direction of the short hallway. Jiyong walked out of the room, yawning and rubbing his eyes in a lethargic manner. He stopped walking when he saw the two males standing there, Seunghyun quickly looking away in guilt.

"Hyung," Hanbin said, his voice coming as a softer whisper. "Where were you? I was worried sick." Jiyong's eyes were still on Seunghyun as he finished his second cup of coffee.

Seunghyun placed the cup in the sink. "I'll give you two some time alone," he said as he exited the kitchen, past Jiyong, and into the bathroom to take a shower. Jiyong let out a sigh and shook his head a little before going over to the couch and sitting down.

"Hyung, did you hear me?" Hanbin asked as he rushed over to sit next to him. "Where the hell were you? I couldn't find you anywhere."

"Nowhere special," Jiyong answered in a pathetic voice, his eyes focused on the turned off television in front of him. "Just here and there. Why?"

"Why?" the boy said with eyes widened in some sort of surprise. "Hyung, I was so worried about you. More than you can even imagine. I thought you were hurt or that you were kidnaped or something terrible like that. I thought...I thought you might be dead." 

The last part came out as a whisper, but it made Jiyong turn his head to look at Hanbin nonetheless. He saw him inhale a quick breath and heard him sniffle. Quickly snapping out of his cold state of mind, Jiyong scooted closer to him and wrapped his arms around him in a warm hug in which Hanbin returned instantly.

"I'm sorry for worrying you so much," Jiyong said, resting his chin on Hanbin's shoulder. "I was just really upset and couldn't think straight. I never meant to worry anyone, especially not you."

"Too late. You already did," he said in response, making Jiyong chuckle a little and pull back from the hug.

"I'm really sorry," he said, his hands now resting on Hanbin's neck.

"No, I should be the one apologizing," the boy said, shaking his head.

"Don't you even start that with me," Jiyong said, letting his hands fall to land on his thighs. "None of this is your fault. You did absolutely nothing wrong."

"No, hyung, I did," Hanbin said as he looked at Jiyong, causing the elder to let out a sigh. "I knew how happy you were with Seunghyun, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. Then when all that drama went down that day Dongguk and I came over, I felt even worse because I saw how heartbroken he was when you left and then...I just feel like I was the domino that made all the others fall over."

"That sounds like the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," Jiyong said with a sincere look in his eyes. "You were not the domino that made all the others fall, Hanbin. I mean, your timing could have been a little better, yeah, but the truth is that the dominoes started to fall when he decided to lie to me. Believe me, this is far from being your fault."

"I know I'm no expert in love," he said after a few moments of silence, his eyes falling down as he started to play with his fingers, "but I can tell he loves you a lot, hyung."

Jiyong sighed, not yet ready to talk about Seunghyun. "I appreciate you saying that, but I really don't need you telling me that I'm wrong for being mad at him," he said.

"I'm not trying to say that." Hanbin shook his head. "You have every right in the world to be mad at him and it's good that you are. What I'm saying is that while it's normal for you to be mad at him for lying to you, you shouldn't let it blind your better judgment."

"Have you ever had anyone lie to you before?" Jiyong asked, his eyes now on Hanbin's face. "And not just anyone, but someone you thought you could trust. Someone you thought would love you through thick and thin."

"Sure I have. Haven't you ever heard about my parents?" he answered. Jiyong sighed lightly, feeling a bit guilty and stupid for asking that. "But he's not like them. He lied, yeah, but I think he lied to help you, even before he fell in love with you."

"Well, lying is a pretty shitty way of helping someone, if you ask me," Jiyong said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You're right, it is." Hanbin chortled, temporarily looking down. "You know, I've never seen you truly love someone until I saw you with him. Hyung, he such a good guy despite the lies. I mean, he gave you a safe place to stay and fed you and kept you warm. He's probably treated you better in a week than anyone has in your entire life, including me."

Jiyong nodded his head slowly, his eyes directed at the carpet as he thought back to his happy memories with Seunghyun. "Yeah, he has," he said softly.

"If you think that, why are you pushing him away?" Hanbin asked. "I mean, I get it. You need time to forgive him and you should take that time, but throwing away your entire relationship...it seems like a waste to me."

Jiyong sighed, Hanbin's eyes still on him intently. "I don't know...I want to believe that he had good intentions, but what if I do and I get hurt again?"

"That might happen, but I think you need to ask yourself if the good stuff is worth the risk," Hanbin said, making Jiyong's move to him. "You're so used to being hurt that when you found out about his job and the assignment, you did what you've always done: runaway. But you can't do that every time someone hurts you, otherwise, you'll never feel safe anywhere. And if you found a place where you can feel safe, I think you should fight for it as much as you can. Why do you think me and Seunghyun have spent so much time looking for you?"

Jiyong gathered up all the advice that Hanbin had said and added them to the pile of thoughts in his head. He had a lot to think about, a lot he didn't know if he was strong enough to get through. But maybe there was a small chance of his survival if he had the support of the people he cared about most.