Leah Williamson

Summary: Leah questions why the reader looks sad during training

Warnings: Just Leah being emotionally unavailable and kisses?!! :P

Word count: 2.3k

..

Y/n had already come to terms with Leah's personality.

Leah Williamson was distant, proud, confident and even patronizing. Although she was also caring, protective and affectionate when she wanted to. And that was the problem—when she wanted to.

Some would say Y/n was the typical soft girl, on and off the pitch. The young Arsenal player would try to avoid conflicts as much as she possibly could. She was easygoing and pinjust chilled, the opposite of her Head Coach, which also happened to be Leah Williamson.

The two women had a tumultuous relationship, if anyone would call that a relationship. It had been 4 months since Y/n had signed with Arsenal as a new defender, and since then all Leah and Y/n did was argue and make up through quick snogging sessions in either Leah's office or the locker room while the other team members were away.

Y/n had never experienced such a thrill before. She never had a forbidden relationship in her life before. The rush of excitement whenever Leah pushed her against the wall to nibble at her neck while the others weren't around the same as entering a match during the most important game of the season. It felt good. The tingle that would rush through her body made it all worth it.

But sometimes, late at night, Y/n wished she could have someone to hold to—well, she wished she could hold Leah—and not anyone else. Y/n enjoyed tenderness and physical touch. She craved it, especially on nights like this one.

Y/n understood Leah would never come around to being in a relationship with her. The first time they kissed months ago, Leah told her she didn't do relationships or anything that required emotional attachment. And that was why Y/n had to be happy that Leah even put up with her after and agreed to do a friends-with-benefits situation, even though they weren't friends, and Leah was to a certain extent her boss.

Y/n rolled around in bed until sleep found her.

..

The next day at training, everybody could see there was something wrong with Y/n. Habitually, the young girl gave her all during the resistance and balance drills on the pitch. Her performance wasn't being questioned, although the other players noticed that Y/n wasn't her usual self. During the day, she kept to herself, not making any of her lighthearted jokes, not even with Alessia and Kyra, one of her closest friends.

Leah watched from afar, arms crossed, as Y/n did defensive drills with McCabe. The Irish woman was trying to get Y/n to smile more, trying to understand why she looked sad, but Y/n just brushed her off, saying she had woken up from the wrong side of the bed.

"Hey, Alessia, come here," Leah called, moving her tactics board hurriedly.

Alessia came running, noticing the rushed tone in the Coach's voice. "Hi, what's wrong?"

"What happened to Y/n? She looks off," Leah asked, pointing at Y/n with her head.

Alessias followed Leah's eyes. "I'm not sure, actually," Alessia admitted. "I tried talking to her but all she said was she had a bad night of sleep, but I don't think that's the case."

"Hmm," Leah murmured, staring even more at Y/n.

The girl was training marking with one of the guys from the technical team. "She's been like that for a few days now," Alessia continued. "Last week I asked her if she wanted to go out with me and Kyra and she said she wasn't in the mood. Then yesterday Kyra asked if she wanted to do karaoke, and she also said no"

"What do you think the reason might be?" Leah asked, frowning. She didn't like the feeling in her chest, the way she felt just because Y/n was sad.

Alessia took a towards to Leah. "Can you keep this between us?" Alessia whispered, a guilty look on her face.

Leah looked at the blonde with concern. Why was Alessia asking to keep a secret, had something really happened with Y/n? Had she been injured and Leah hadn't noticed? It had been a few days since Leah and Y/n had had one of their casual and secret meetings in Leah's office, but Leah didn't remember the girl complaining about anything. Well, they didn't talk much, though.

"Yeah, what happened?" Leah asked, holding on to her tactics board

"I think she's going through some personal problems, me and Kyra think she's gota girlfriend, and things aren't going well between them," Alessia replied, her cheeks turning red. "But don't tell her I told you, please! She hasn't told me anything, it's just a hunch. I mean, she always complains about how single she is..."

"Does she always complain about that?" Leah tilted her head. "I've never heard her say anything about it."

Alessia laughed. "Of course not, you are the coach now. When you were a player, did you talk to Renée about your feelings? Of course, not."

Leah shrugged. "You got a point, Russo, thank you. Now back to training."

Before Alessia could leave, Leah said in a low voice. "Besides, you are the worst keeper of secrets I have ever met."

"Oh, shut up Williamson," Alessia laughed, and returned to training.

Girlfriend, Leah thought.

Y/n couldn't have a girlfriend. What they had was extremely casual, but Y/n wasn't the type of girl to cheat on someone. Maybe Y/n didn't have a girlfriend, but was she seeing other people?

Leah clenched her fist at the thought of another woman holding Y/n, kissing her, hearing the sweet noises she made. Y/n wasn't hers, but for some reason she felt very territorial.

Territorial? Leah wasn't sure that was the right word to describe how she felt about Y/n.

Perhaps protective was a better word.

I mean, who even was this girl Y/n was seeing anyway? What if she just wanted Y/n for attention or money? Y/n wasn't rich per se, very few athletes her age, but she did have a big platform on her TikTok and Instagram. Maybe this girl wanted Y/n for her fame. Leah wouldn't let that happen.

..

Y/n didn't hear Leah come into the dressing room at first, but Leah's earthy perfume made her presence known. Before Y/n could turn around Leah had her hands on the girl's hips and was kissing the back of her neck.

"You haven't spoken to me today," Leah whispered against the Y/n's skin, hating how soft her voice sounded. "What happened, huh?"

Y/n felt a shiver run through her body. She turned to meet Leah's blue eyes. "I did talk to you during the team meeting." Y/n replied, pushing Leah slightly so she wasn't pressed against the wall.

"Telling me you accidentally deflated one of our balls doesn't count." Leah rolled her eyes, as she watched Y/n strip off her training kit and stand in nothing her sports bra and gym shorts.

Her eyes ran over Y/n's body, wanting to touch every part of it.

"Well, guess we didn't have much to talk about." Y/n said, getting her bag from her locker and looking for a change of clothes.

Leah picked up on the cold tone immediately.

"We never have much to talk about, but we do it anyway," Leah argued back as Y/n put on a pair of leggings and a clean t-shirt that said, "Live fast, eat trash".

Y/n crossed her arms and tilted her head. "No, we don't. We never talk Leah, we exchange a few words, you get mad about something I did in the pitch, you put on your whole dominant persona, then we have sex, and I go home," Y/n touched Leah's chest cynically. "That's what we do."

Leah pressed her lips together.

"You never had a problem with the way we did things. What happened now?" Leah asked, frustrated. This was not the way she wanted the conversation to go at all.

Y/n sighed before picking up her bag. "I'm really not in the mood for this, Leah."

Leah held Y/n's arms before she could leave the room, making sure the grip wasn't too tight. In case Y/n really wanted to leave.

"Hey, don't go, please," Leah asked, Y/n's skin warm against her palm. "I just noticed how you were off today, and I was hoping you could talk to me about it."

Y/n didn't meet Leah's gaze, but she didn't make a move to leave either.

"You're right. We don't really talk, and I know I can be grumpy with you." The blonde continued, watching Y/n's face, trying to figure out how the girl was feeling. "But I can talk, and I want to talk with you, if you ever need to."

Leah was embarrassed to admit that this was the most vulnerable she had felt in months. I can talk!? Really, Leah? Who was she? A teenage boy interacting with a girl for the first time?

"I want to talk to you, not just kiss you," Y/n admitted, looking down at the floor.

Leah was silent.

"Ok, we'll talk then." Leah agreed, fake confidence in her voice. "I love talking."

"No, you don't. Yesterday, you told Katie to shut up when she wished you good morning."

"It was 6am." Leah defended herself. "And I hadn't had my coffee yet."

"If you say so," Y/n shrugged her shoulders.

The women remained silent. Leah released her grip on Y/n's arm.

"I can start the talking thing," Leah said, an adorable blush on her cheeks. It was as if she wasn't used to doing things like this.

"Okay, then you talk while we walk to my car," Y/n said, leaving no room for Leah to protest.

Leah took the bag from Y/n's hand and slung it over her shoulder as they walked through the lonely corridors of Arsenal. "Hm—what's your favorite colour?" Leah asked.

"Blue."

"You can't say blue, you're an Arsenal player," Leah argued, almost offended.

"Red then," Y/n said, being her easy-going self.

"Cats or dogs?"

"Cats," Y/n replied. "And let me guess, you like dogs," the young girl raised an eyebrow.

"Correct." Leah smiled.

When they got to Y/n's car, Leah handed Y/n's bag back. "That was a lot of talking! I'm proud of you," Y/n said condescending, playfully patted Leah on the cheek.

Leah held Y/n's hand. "Don't get cheeky with me," Leah warned mischievously.

Before Leah realized, Y/n's lips were on her mouth, her tongue rolling gently into her mouth softly. "You're a better kisser than a talker," Y/n whispered. "But I appreciate the effort."

Leah looked around to make sure no one was out there in the car park during the cold winter night. When Leah made sure they were alone, she pressed Y/n to the car door. "I wasn't raised by animals; I can be social if I want to."

"Well, I hope you want to be this sociable with me more often, then." Y/n ended the kiss with a peck on Leah's lips.

"I'll try," Leah said smugly. "Hey, there's actually one more thing I want to talk to you about."

"Oh really?" Y/n asked cheekily. "What is it?"

Courage, Leah. You can do it. It's just another talk.

"Russo told me you were seeing someone," Leah admitted, trying to sound cool. "I just wanted to make sure we—" she pointed at the two of them. "—Are alright, I mean I don't mind sharing." Big, big lie, Leah. "But if you're with someone just let me know and we can end this, amicably, and all."

Y/n was silent for a minute, then for two minutes, and then she burst out laughing.

"Russo told you what?"

"Okay, she didn't tell me, I asked her, but only because you seemed off today." Leah rolled her eyes. She didn't like people laughing at her. "But it's whatever, forget I ever said anything."

Y/n grabbed Leah's arm before the blonde could turn around. "No, come on, don't get mad now." The young player said. "I just laughed because I don't know why Alessia thought I was seeing someone, I barely have time for my cat."

"She also said you complained about being single," Leah admitted, throwing out the whole keep it between us promise she had made to Alessia.

"Oh— "Y/n blushed, playing with her hands. "I mean, I guess we all want some kind of affection sometimes, don't we?"

The women started at each other.

"Maybe," Leah finally replied.

Y/n sighed. "It was nice talking to you, Leah, see you tomorrow," Y/n leaned into Leah, and have her a kiss on the cheek before getting inside her car and driving away, leaving Leah in the parking lot with a weird feeling inside of her.

Leah was left wondering: she wanted to do more than just have sex with Y/n, but she wasn't so sure that she could do relationships, or that she could give Y/n the affection that she wanted. Y/n was the kind of girl who expected Valentine's Day gifts and spontaneous trips. She would expect them to adopt a dog - or, well, a cat.

Leah wasn't sure she could. Leah wasn't stupid, she noticed how much Y/n liked her, and she liked Y/n back, but the fear of ruining Y/n's personal and professional life if anyone knew they were together was stronger than whatever Leah felt for the girl.

"I hate feelings," Leah murmured to herself as she walked back to the Arsenal building, and into her office.

"I'm going get a lot of work done and forget about this whole situation," Leah lied to herself. "Everything will be fine; she will stop liking me any day and everything will go back to normal."

The woman stayed in the office until the next morning, taking small naps in between tactics plans.

Leah awoke to a knock on her door. A very cheerful McCabe walked in.

"Hey mate, good morning," McCabe said smiling.

"Oh my God, can't you shut up for a second, Kaite?" Leah snapped, getting up from her chair and leaving the Irish alone in the room.

"What the fuck did I do now?" The brunette complained. "Fine, I'll stop being polite to you."